12 Consequences.
Fay said: "The ritual was not supposed to be so powerful, Harry? You were to present a gift for your part to the Friendship Pact. Why did you present a gift to every one of us? We already had more than required with the Unicorn Tailhair and Phoenix Tears. You added Basilisk parts, Your tailfeathers, and very powerful Heirlooms to it."
Padma confirmed it: "Instead of one Friendship gift, there were five. Three of them are from Harry. Even forming a Coven does not require such sacrifices. Harry? I think we messed up the ritual."
I sighed: "I think so too. I was so eager to form the pact, that I overdid it. I had all those items and wanted to share them with you all. I put more value in your friendship than in those Heirlooms."
Lavender laughed: "We are learning magic at an incredible speed! To be honest, I think everyone here was planning to be with you, Harry. That was why we wanted the Coven in the first place. If Padma is right, then it is even more than a Coven now."
Tracey nodded: "Companions are a big deal. Does he own us now? We just experienced the pros, what are the cons? What are the negative sides of Companions?"
I answered: "I honestly don't know, except for one thing. I can take you into Dungeons to fight at my side. It is dangerous, but it will make you stronger. It also helps you to perfect your spells."
I looked at all of them: "Before I even think of taking you with me in a Dungeon, you have to learn magic first. Also, tomorrow, take the Skill books or Magical theory and Wandless Magic. You must learn to use magic without a wand. The RoR has plenty of books about it."
Daphne said: "Let's go back to Hogwarts before they miss us." That night I reached Level 13.
Xxxxx
Sunday morning, our breakfast was disturbed with several owls coming at us from Gringotts. Great, what do those little buggers want from us? It better is not much or my Quest fails. I opened my letter. It said:
Lord Potter,
We congratulate you on your marriage. The marriage ritual you used is frowned upon, but legally binding. We urge you to come to Gringotts to complete the formalities. The presence of your lawyer and in-laws is advised.
House Potter account manager Blooddagger.
Wtf? I am eleven years old! I just shed my diapers! This is the shit game again. It is messing with my mind.
Daphne said: "Harry? You have to bloody wait until I am sixteen before you can even think about it! Understand?" Tracey groaned: "Daph! Fifteen! Didn't you feel the magic last night?"
Lavender grumbled: "Well he can explain it to my dad. A courting is fine, but this is skipping a lot of steps. Daphne? I agree with Tracey, fifteen for me too."
Parvati smiled: "Our parents will be trilled. They were hoping for it, maybe not this fast, but the early bird gets the worm. We got our worm!" That comment killed my self-esteem. I am the early worm.
Fay put it in perspective: "It does not change a thing. It is just some things on parchment we already know of. It just made it official. Harry? We need to go to Gringotts today, tomorrow the ministry will try to interfere."
Neville asked: "Harry? Are you in trouble?" I nodded: "In a way, yes. I am blue balled for four years. I am fine for the most part." The bloody Phoenix was having fun at my expense, next time I let the curse binding of Dumbledore stay on him. He will be begging to be killed.
Xxxxx
We made our escape to the Shack and called our elves to bring us to the manor. The girls wrote letters to their parents while I informed my Lawyer, Mr. Dewey. We made an appointment for after lunch.
We filled our time learning new skills for the girls. Wandless, Magic Theory, Occlumency, and Magic Bonds. The last one showed us our errors.
Padma summed it up: "Not only did we mess up with the gifts, but also with our intentions. We were fully prepared to spend the rest of our lives with Harry. So the Friendship Pact became a Marriage Ritual. If only one was thinking different, it would have stayed a Friendship Pact."
Fay choffed: "Of course, I want to stay the rest of my life with him! I am not getting naked for a friend. And Harry? Not before I am fifteen." Meh, what do I care, it ends for me at Samhain, lvl 15 or death, either way, the fallout is for Harry.
Xxxxx
After lunch we arrived at Gringotts, the parents were already waiting with Blooddagger. Lord Dewey asked me: "Harry? Can you explain to us how you legally married six girls when you are only eleven?" I looked at the girls, hoping one of them would answer that. Nope, I am on my own.
I started: "Well when Daphne, Tracey, and Lavender wanted to be courted by me, I asked how that could work at all without jealousy. Padma mentioned forming a Coven, but we were too young for it. But not for a Friendship Pact. Last night we did the Friendship Pact but messed some of the requirements up.
We were supposed to bring one gift to the ritual, the girls brought two gifts, I added four for myself and gave each girl three extra gifts. Powerful gifts. The other thing that went wrong was our intention. All of us intended to let this last for a lifetime. Hence this marriage."
Bullshitting 45 Acting 30
Lord Greengrass asked: "What were those gifts?" Daphne answered: "We brought Unicorn Tailhairs and Phoenix tears, Harry brought Basilisk parts, a Phoenix tailfeather, and Heirlooms of his family. We did the ritual at his Mansion in an open space in the woods. We were surrounded by magical animals."
Blooddagger eagerly asked: "Where did you get the basilisk parts? We heard a rumor you killed a basilisk at school. If so what do you intend to do with the parts?" I pointed to the wives: "Ask them, all I can say, I claimed the skeleton for myself, the rest is for sale. But, explain why you asked us to come here?"
Blooddagger swallowed, business first he thought, but the snake will be his by the end of the meeting. He said: "We have to make the ritual official as Marriage Vows, if not, the ministry can make trouble for conducting illegal rituals. Does any of the parents have an objection against the marriage?" Astoria muttered: "I wanted him for myself."
One by one they agreed with the marriage, the houses were divided by them. The good part was that I have the Lord's rings. Even the Black one. Sirius had renounced the lordship and passed it to me.
Hidden Quest completed:
Quest: Get married before Samhain.
Reward: Upgrade one Ability.
Finally a good reward! I upgraded the Cut / Paste ability, hoping the cooldown went down. It got better! I got Copy / Cut / Paste! I could Copy skills now. The cooldown stays for a week, but now I can safely copy Flitwick's Charms Mastery.
Hah! Let's do some death-eater damage! I asked for the Black account manager: "Let lord Dewey go over the marriage contracts of Narcissa and Bellatrix. Any faults in it will result in the reclaiming of the dowry. If possible cancel the marriages. Call all loans to known death-eaters in. I accept Andromeda back in House Black with her husband and daughter, she will receive her dowry and stipend as a daughter from house Black so will Nymphadora."
Hmm, what else can I do? If I follow my brother's fan-fictions I have all death-eaters as vassals, nope, I'm not touching that can of worms.
Lord Greengrass said: "This leaves the matter of the life debt House Greengrass and Astoria has with Lord Potter." I interrupted him: "There is no life debt between us Lord Greengrass. My life was not in danger when I cured your family of the curse. Any gratitude is paid off with the marriage of Daphne to me."
I looked around: "I think we have covered everything?" Blooddagger said: "Not so fast Lord Potter! We have a basilisk to discuss. I am willing to negotiate the sale of the snake for a 20% commission."
Lord Davis laughed: "20% I do it for 15%! as his father-in-law he knows I will treat him fair." I shrugged and showed the pictures of the snake, surrounded by roosters. Lord Davis won with a 5% commission.
I said: "I happen to have a steady supply of Phoenix tears, here is a vial with a sample. Anyone interested?" I smiled to the wives, hubby is providing! Phoenixes don't like to cry, so the tears are worth a fortune. Meh, it is nothing a few onions can fix.
Xxxxx
We made it back before dinner. We avoided the questions where we were hiding during the day. I gave Tonks a hug and said: "Tonks, in a few days you are going to say that you love me! You are even going to call me my Lord." She laughed at that: "The day I will do that you may put a collar on my neck."
I grinned at her: "Deal! don't forget you said so yourself!"
After dinner in the RoR, I explained my new ability: "I got a reward for completing a hidden task. I can Cut, Copy, and Paste skills from anyone to everyone. I have the Skill Wizarding magic. This is a compilation of all skills of this world.
The last weeks before Samhain I will copy it to you all. I will now start to copy from teachers. You better start learning skills, to reduce the headache when I copy it into your heads. Daphne? I can let Astoria profit from this too if you want."
Daphne said: "I will write a letter to her and arrange an hour where you can add her to the party."
Lavender grinned: "Tomorrow will be mayhem! The Daily Prophet will have a field day. The Boy who Lives marries six girls in a forbidden ritual. Only eleven years old!"
I commented: "the first one that asks when we are going to start on the kids, I'll hex them into next week."
Parvati smiled evilly: "Harry? You know there are quarters for married couples, and there are the Lord's quarters, and the Slytherin quarters, you have three claims for private quarters. You can flame in anytime you want to."
I shook my head: "You realize what rumors will start with that? They will expect our firstborn for next year. We better stay as we are." Blushing, they all agreed.
Xxxxx
At night, I flamed into Dumbledore's cell. He had a nice cell in the medium-security section. I stunned him, and Cut his Alchemy skill. Hmm, now that I am here, why don't I pay a visit to the Lestranges and other death-eaters. I flamed to the high-security cells, as a Phoenix I did not feel the effects of the Dementors, although they felt my presence.
I changed back and stunned them all, then I opened their cells. I flamed back to my bed. That will make some room in Askaban, and scare the crap out of the ones that run free. Barty! I forgot about that one!
I used a Dicta quill to write a letter to Mad-Eye Moody, and send it with an owl. One problem less.
I went to bed after a productive day. Life is good.
The next morning the Daily Rubbish reported our marriage to the public. Rita did her best:
Lord Potter? Lord Black? Lord Slytherin? Lord Peverell?
The Boy Who Lives is the Boy With Six Wives!
Dark Ritual at eleven gets Boy Who Lives married!
More about His titles on page three,
Dark Rituals and their effects on page five.
Who are the wives? And how did they ensnare the Boy Who lives, on page nine.
Neville Commented: "You move fast Harry. I doubt I can keep up with you, I am not sure I want that either. Congratulations to you all on your marriage. I would have presented a gift if I knew you were taking the vows."
Hannah said: "I agree Neville, we will wait a few years. We are not in a hurry." Susan added: "Aunty would go berserk when we do that before our Owls. Even before our Newts."
Lessons went fine, I have yet to use my wand for a spell, McGonagall had us on the matchsticks and needles. Very hard. It was so difficult that I almost passed out from trying to stay awake.
Xxxxx
At lunch, the minister showed his face, four Aurors, and his toad, he even included a Dementor. That made me question the sanity of the ministry. I connected to the ward-stone and let it repel the Dementor. The thing got zapped and it made a run… float for it to the border.
I amplified my voice: "What retarded idiot brings a soul-sucking, demon into a school full of children? I want him or her fired! You four! Where are your brains? You don't know the effect this demon has on children? And you! The idiot with that stupid hat! You will have to explain yourself for the Wizengamot for endangering several Heirs from important houses!
Now get the hell out of here. Does Madam Bones Know you are endangering her niece with a dementor? Does Lord Malfoy know? Lord Nott? What would Lord Greengrass, lord Davis, Lords Flint, Diggory, Abbot, or Lord Longbottom have to say when they find out?
You! The ugly woman that looks like a toad! Start searching for a new job! Now Get Out!"
Do you think it worked? Slap them down before they can speak, and the battle is half won, especially when I called the death-eater dads.
Fudge tried to save his face: "Look here, boy…" "It is Lord Potter to you dumbass, but more important here it is Lord Slytherin to you! You dare to bring Dementors here to endanger the children? Susan, can you call your aunt here please? I want this idiot arrested! I don't care who he is. I want him in Askaban!"
Bullshitting 46
Too much drama? Nah, I piled on: "I will make certain your name is mentioned in tomorrow's paper as the person that wants to suck the souls from children. Who are you? An ignorant clerk? And you Aurors, does Madam Bones know you are here to harass her niece? She must be very impressed with your professionalism."
Susan helped me: "I notified Aunty Harry. I felt so scared by the effects of that Dementor. I thought I could never be happy again." Hannah did a ferret: "Wait until my father hears about this." From all sides voices raised against the Dementor.
The perk of being Lord Slytherin is that the wards notified me of Madam Bones' arrival. I said: "Hoggy? Can you fetch Madam Bones and her Aurors and bring her inside?"
Madam Bones was fuming: "Not a bloody day passes that I am called here! What now?" Susan said: "They brought a Dementor into the great hall. We all felt the effects. Lord Slytherin chased it away and want the ones responsible for bringing it here arrested."
Madam Bones looked at Fudge: "Is this true Minister Fudge? You dare to bring a Dementor here? And You Dawlish, Robarts? Did you lose your common sense? All of you return to the ministry, Minister, your actions will be discussed at the next Wizengamot."
When they went outside Madam Bones said to me: "Don't think I forgot your illegal ritual Lord Slytherin. We will have words about that."
I shrugged: "That ritual was commonly used through the centuries. Our ancestors used many rituals. I don't know who made them illegal, but I will fight that law. If you condemn every ritual because some of them are evil, then you have to forbid magic, because some spells are evil too."
I wanted to ad she should be happy I did not marry Susan, but better not poke a sleeping bear. When the commotion was finished, I said: "Thank you, Susan and Hannah, I can even forgive you for choosing that bird over me." Fawkes was chirping angrily at me. Hah, suck it, fire breath.
Neville laughed: "Never a dull moment with you Harry. You knew they came here to arrest you. That is why you threw such a tantrum." I looked shocked at Neville: "Nevv! I would never do such a thing! I am a pure innocent soul! Ask my wives… No, forget that, ask… Hah, you are right. It worked though, I even did not bring your Gran into play."
Xxxxx
The following day, Tonks flew in my arms: "Harry I love you! Thank you! thank you! And you took my mum back into House Black. You are my Lord now!" Smiling I handed the collar to Tonks, on the medal it showed: Property of Lord Black. She paled when she remembered her statement. Blushing she equipped it. I smiled at her: "Just for today Tonks." That got me a big hug. Yep, it was a double reward. C cup at least.
News of the death-eaters in Askaban getting their last kiss, shocked the nation. Neville and I threw a party. Then the Goblins started to call the loans to House Black in, several families were bankrupted, Malfoy was among them.
Did you know the sequence in which the husband and wife are killed defines the heritage? Rastaban and Rudolf got kissed before Bella. Leaving Lord Black to pick up the many, many pieces, mostly galleons.
That and the dead's in Askaban caused an exodus of Death-eaters.
Optional Quest Completed:
Quest: Remove the Death-Eater threat.
Reward: 10% to the next level.
I am good! I am the greatest! Super Harry! Pretty boy! Harem lord! Parvati said: "Harry, we go shopping next weekend." Dammed! That kills the mood.
We got in a routine, each day, the girls learned a skill book, even Astoria. Once a week I visited Dumbledore I cut his Transfiguration, Prodigy away, I pasted Snape's Potion Masteryto my Wizarding Magic Master. At night I battled in the Dungeons, I even got the goblin king. It got me a new skill: Engineering.
I let my in-laws deal with Fudge and the toad. Two weeks later he was out of a job so was his toad.
Six weeks before Samhain, I started to copy the Skill Wizarding Magic to the girls, one each week. Lavender, Tracey, Daphne, Fay, Parvati, and Padma was the last one. A few days before Samhain I was close to Level 15.
That evening we gathered in the RoR. I started: "My lovely wives, tonight I will reach level 15, finishing this level. I don't know when I will be able to summon you all, or what will happen here. I want to say it was fun, I love you all. Take care of this Harry, I hope he keeps my memories."
Padma said: "Harry, whatever happens, we want our first kiss now. No matter what, we love you with all our hearts. Now, come here and give me a snog."
An hour later I went into the dungeon. At midnight I reached level 15.
Main quest completed:
Main Quest: Reach level 15 in three months. Destroy Tom Riddle.
Restrictions: Without help from Goblins, DMLE, or Department of Mysteries.
Quest Reward: Random Skill
New skill: Telepathy
That could be useful. Hearing others' thoughts is not Legilimence, so it won't be detected.
Second Level completed:
Main Quest completed: 1
Optional Quests completed: 5
Hidden Quests completed: 1
Bonus Quests completed: 2
Time Bonus: 1 day.
Total score: 56% + 10% Extreme Hard Mode.
Reward: one free Skill
Progress to Level 3 Y/N?
I already said my goodbyes to the girls I selected Technomancyand pressed yes.
I woke up in an actual bed, with a woman sleeping next to me.
13 Locked.
Well… it beats a cupboard, with a landslide. I lie on my back to get my host's memories. They slammed into my brain. Eleven years of memories or thirty-five makes a big difference. The moment I knew who I am, I know I am fucked.
Level 3
Current world: Harry Potter year 2
Main Quest: Reach level 25, Reform the Wizarding world.
Restrictions: No Gringotts, DMLE, or department of Mysteries.
Quest reward: depends on the level of completion. Failure: Death.
I took a look at the woman next to me, she is decently looking, memories from last night were pleasant, what bothered me is that she is married. Not to me though, she is married to some old wizard, so old he could not even get his back straight, let alone his dingaling. I cast the contraception spell, just to make sure, you know.
Starting to get horny, spending months as a little kid, and waking up next to a female that is as starving for a good shag as I am, can do that. I started to caress her, letting my Telekinesis help a bit. Softly she began to moan, she adjusted her legs a bit for easy access. Don't mind if I do, I gave her a good body massage, followed by a shag that tested the strength of the bed and the silencing charms.
Thanks to the new Telepathy, I knew which button to push, what nipple to bite, and what buttsheek to slap. My Telekinesis is a big cheat, it served as an extra pair of hands, even as an extra dick. Oh, Merlin! I needed that!
We cleaned up, took a shower, an hour later I was ready to start the day. My elf said: "Lunch be ready Master." As usual, I removed the memory of my face, only that she had a wonderful shag with a stranger. It is good to be me… I think.
After lunch I started to get ready for my day, you can say I am a celebrity. I am an Author, I wrote several books, they even made it on the book list of Hogwarts. Imagine that! A thirty-five-year-old Author having his books used for DaDa. It paid a good amount of Galleons too.
To be honest, it was the idea of my publisher. He kind of forced me to accept that bloody job and put the books on the course list. Yesterday was my day of the book signing at the bookstore. So I have a week and a few days to prepare.
You guessed it right, I am Gilderoy fucking Lockhart! You know, the peacock that can't do shit. Although his techniques in the sack are good. I have to read the rules about teacher-student relationships, maybe also Teacher-Teacher relationships if I am lucky I can bag two. Babbling and Sinistra are prime specimens.
I studied myself in the mirror, I have to admit, I look damn good. The peacock did something right. He took good care of his body. Running and working out kept his body in good shape. I can't complain about his size, a bit bigger than the average. Men that want a supersized one are idiots, the only thing that will fit in is a pony or horse, ok a centaur too.
Hmm, I have to test my lines.
"I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart! Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor!"
How did he ever think that something corny like this is going to work?
Xxxxx
I better start planning. First, I need Allies. Some names come to my mind, Greengrass, Bones, Rita. Then new course books, I can't use those ridiculous books… My ridiculous books. I have to fix that.
It is a good thing that I raided Hogwarts for all the skill books, and Cut all magic knowledge from Dumbledore.
I apparated to my publisher Mr. Blots and presented my idea: "Dear Ropert, I have a wonderful concept for course books. Each year has a number of spells that they need to know, and a number of optional spells that fit their age.
Now, I want a book that when you open it, on the left page is the description and history of the spell, on the right page are two pictures of me doing the spell. One frontal view and one side view with the spell pronunciation above my head.
I know that moving pictures need a constant magic feed to keep them moving, but I have a solution for that problem. Let me show you."
The concept is easy. A rune cluster to freeze the pictures when the book is closed, a rune cluster to only activate the page when the book is opened at that page. And a runecluster to absorb and store ambient magic. Hide the rune clusters inside the cover and Bob is your uncle.
I said: "I need a magic contract Ropert, for the use of my Runes; Or: I want to do the seven years as fast as possible, and need sixty books from each year. If you can deliver those books before the first of September, you get free use of those Runes. Do we have a deal?"
Ropert Blots saw the genius concept of the Runes and the possibilities. He called his staff and we began to work on the books. I promised a bonus when they could keep it a secret for me to reveal.
Xxxxx
I used a dicta quill to note the spells and their description down. While I was standing in a white room demonstrating the spells. Two photographers took pictures, one in front of me and one on the side. The spell name appeared above my head when I am casting it.
For each year I did the prescribed spells first, and the optional spells in the second half of the book. I had to play the peacock, so every year had different outfits and hairstyles.
I was enjoying it! I was done in two days. The staff was surprised by my knowledge of the spells and their history. Especially the Newt spells.
Now a flashy title: Dashing through DaDa with Lockhart? Safe with Gilderoy? Lockhart through the years?
I settled with: Seven Years DaDa with Lockhart. Book One: The First Steps. I let the designs of the covers to the staff but insisted on a picture of me on the backside.
Xxxxx
That covered the embarrassing books. Now I have to find allies. But first, I need to reply to my fan mail. Don't laugh! You can't believe what bored housewives can think of! The pictures are great too.
Say what you want, but Gilderoy had plenty of pussy to play with. Granted, not all were beauties, but a witch that knows a bit of magic always looks good. I invited two witches to dinner, both had sent me some daring pictures, so the evening was great. The night was even better, the next morning the best. Both witches left the house on unsteady legs but well shagged.
I made an appointment with Lord Greengrass for a private meeting. He is my first choice, I can easily remove the curse from the family, and I can have a supporter in the Wizengamot.
Xxxxx
Lord Greengrass received me in the entrance hall. His opinion of me showed by the lack of family members to greet me. He led me into his study, and came right to the point: "Why did you ask for a meeting Gilderoy?"
I responded: "Lord Greengrass, not one reason, but several. Let me start with the obvious one. Can you think of a reason to let me teach DaDa with the books I put on the list? I am certain you browsed through those books, didn't you?"
Lord Greengrass answered: "I did, and those are not course books at all. I wonder how you are going to use them for classes. To be honest, I would not hire you at all."
I smiled: "That was my thought too! You see, my publisher put my name on the recruitment list, with the books as course books. Now, why did Dumbledore hire me? Why did he not object to those books? A whole stack for each student! My publisher and I admit me too, made quite some Galleons because of it.
If Dumbledore is so great, why did he not intervene? I went along with that book list, expecting to not get hired. But Dumbledore approved it. Why? I wrote those books as entertainment. Don't get me wrong the stuff in it really happened, but not exactly as I wrote it down."
Lord Greengrass was puzzled: "I am curious too now, maybe he did that to expose you?" I choffed: "Really? A few words to the right people would do that faster. Is it worth sabotaging the education of students for a whole year? It is as if he doesn't want students to learn in his school. Last year's professor had a stutter so bad that nobody understood him."
He nodded: "That is what my daughter told me. He disappeared in May. Rumors said he was involved with the Potter boy. They got a lot of points at the end of the school year."
I said: "That brings me to my second reason for my visit. I met him at the bookstore when I was there signing my books. He was there with the Weasleys. There is something suspicious going on with that boy.
I pulled him closer for some pictures, but he cringed at my touch. He is skinny, short, I remember James and Lily from school, both their heights were above average. And he was clothed in rags. All his clothes were several sizes too big as if they are cast-offs from a bigger fat boy.
Dumbledore always said the boy was cared for, but I can recognize an abused kid when I see one. Harry Potter is an abused child, under Dumbledore's care. Add the fact of the kind of teachers he hires, he has a special agenda for the Potter boy."
Lord Greengrass said: "That brings us to my original question: What do you want from me Gilderoy?" I shrugged: "I want to help the Potter boy, I want to teach real DaDa, and I need support from the Gray faction of the Wizengamot."
Lord Greengrass asked: "Oh? And what can you offer me in exchange? I feel for the Potter boy, but Dumbledore is too powerful to cross."
I looked him in the eyes: "I can remove the family Curse. Today if you want." He roared: "Don't joke about something like that Gilderoy! Better wizards have tried and failed! What makes you think you can do it?" I smiled: "I developed a new kind of magic. Let me try, if I don't succeed I'll pay twenty thousand Galleons. If I can do it, I have your support. Do we have a deal?"
Manipulation 33 Bullshitting 47 Acting 32
Xxxxx
It was an easy decision, a win-win for the Greengrasses. Astoria was in bed, she just has a relapse, and was recovering from it. I am Gilderoy Lockhart, so I must put a show up to satisfy the fans.
I said to lord Greengrass: "Stay here and observe. Miss Astoria, can I have your hands, please. Now, close your eyes and imagine you are in a meadow, flowers bloom, butterflies flying around you. Now open your eyes."
I made an Illusion of the bed standing in the meadow, flowers, and butterflies all around us, I did some Major Dispels and Major Heals. A bit of static electricity set her hair in scary mode, and I released the illusion. A grooming spell had her looking like the little princess she was.
I said to Lord Greengrass: "This is the first phase. Next is your other daughter, then you and your wife. After that, any family from the Greengrass line."
Astoria had her energy back and was eager to get out of bed. While I went out of the room, Lord Greengrass let his elf fetch the family healer.
The healer examined Astoria: "Amazing! The curse is completely gone! Astoria is in prime condition! What magic is used here?"
I said: "Family magic. The curse is not completely gone, the rest of the family has to be dispelled too." Daphne got her show too. So did the family. Lord Greengrass said: "Mr. Lockhart, I confess I had my doubts about you. I pictured you as a harmless fraud. We are in your debt. You will have our support for as long as you want. That was easy.
Xxxxx
The week before school I hunted the Horcruxes I could reach. The shack of the Gaunts was no trouble at all, I flamed before the Black House at night and knocked on the door. Kreacher opened: "What does Peacock want from the Noble House of Black?" I answered: "I came to help you destroy the evil in the locket." Easy Peasy. Two down.
The last weekend before September, the first is on a Tuesday, I entered Hogwarts. Ahh! It is good to be back! I took a stroll to my quarters and started to unpack my stuff. The pictures fitted nicely on the walls, I redecorated my room, I definitively need a bigger bed. I expanded the room to a decent size, I let my ceiling look like the sky from a tropical island. Two walls got the view of the island. Should I put sand on the floor? Nah, that would be too much. The elves would remove it anyway. I scanned the rooms for listening charms and other nasty stuff. Naughty Headmaster is a listening perv. I warded the charm from the room, and plan to let it play: me humming a little melody, in a loop. But not right now.
I warded my office and hallway and took a look at the classroom. A lot of Fan-fictions had the Curse in different places. It was on a dragon skeleton, under the teachers' desk, it was a cursed word, the Horcrux was the curse, it was on the wardstone, on Riddle's trophy.
I took no chances, I started to use Dispel Curse the moment I reached the doorknob and did the complete room. With my Mage Sight, I could spot every curse. They were on everything! Some harmless, some gave a time-delayed curse. This is a little house of horrors! At Dinner, I was my flashy wonderful me. I was so helpful, I could give tips on how to do their jobs for hours. Man, those teachers can eat fast.
Xxxxx
That night I flashed into Slytherins Dorms. I activated Salazar's Wards and locked them with a parseltongue password. That will keep the girls safe. I went to every chamber and removed every harmful spell and listening charms.
I am almost set to start the term. On Monday, I received the course books. I must say, I look mighty dashing in the pictures, my eyes had that Dumbledore sparkle, I also showed my Trade Marked smile. The billowing cape was especially noticeable in the fourth-year book. I put it all in my library trunk, it is where I keep my autographed pictures you know. It is also the place I keep the pictures of my most loyal fans. It is good to be Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor.
Xxxxx
That night I entertained dear Rita, I worked my new skills on her, she was a puddle in my hands. When morning came, after another round, I said to her: "Rita, how about some undercover work… no you did that already. I mean change into a lovely bug and hitch a ride in my collar. Today the students board the train. Let's find out how many endanger the statute of secrecy."
Worried she asked: "How did you know?" I hugged her: "Don't worry my dear, the way you can fuck, I will never reveal your secret. Now, the boarding starts at nine, but most come between ten and eleven. So how about it? There could be a great story in it for you."
She pouted: "Alright, just for you. You did learn a thing or two since last time, it was the best shag I had in years." What can I say? I aim to please, and I'm pleased my aim is good.
Xxxxx
We staked the platform 9 ¾, hidden with a notice-me not. And behold, true to the Weasley tradition: five minutes before the time they arrived. With a lot of hustle, they passed through. Harry and Ron were the last ones to go for it and crashed against the platform. We heard them talk until Ron mentioned taking the flying car. I whispered to Rita: "This can be interesting, we follow them."
We followed them to the car, they loaded their trunks and wanted to enter the car. I showed myself and asked: "Gentlemen, what in Merlin's name are you planning?" Harry mumbled: "We missed the train and wanted to take the car to fly to Hogwarts."
I heard enough: "Come with me, take your trunks out of the car and follow me." I took them to a small alley, shrunk the trunks, and added a featherweight charm on it. "Put them in your pocket."
I grabbed them and apparated to the Leaky cauldron. I rented a room for four hours, and send a Patronus to Lord Greengrass to meet me here. He arrived with his wife and Astoria.
After the greetings, I said: "Now Mr. Weasley, explain to me your idea to fly to Hogwarts with your dad's flying car." Blushing he answered: "The gate was blocked and we missed the train. We need to get there. So I thought of taking the car."
I looked at Astoria and asked: "Miss Astoria, you go to Hogwarts next year, What do you do if you miss the train? Give all the options you can think of"
Astoria thought for a bit: "Well, I wait for my parents to show up, I could take the knight bus, The Leaky cauldron is ten minutes away, I could floo to Hogsmeade, I could send an owl. Or wait ten minutes for an Auror to show up to close the gate."
I asked Ron: "So your best idea was to steal your parents' car? Tell me, do they abandon their car after dropping you off? I would think they would use it to drive back home. Was it too difficult to wait ten minutes? Or are you craving attention? Arriving with a flying car would be awesome, no?
And you Mr. Potter, do you want attention? At the book signing, it did not appear so. Now Lord Greengrass, can you check both boys for health problems?"
Lord Greengrass did an analysis spell on Ron first: "A loyalty spell, a few memories are removed, and a compulsion spell focused on… food?" After that, he analyzed Harry. He whispered: "Sweet Merlin! Several tracking spells, Loyalty potions, memory charms, many badly healed bones, malnourished, his core is bound, he has a Mail Block. A block, to ward elves I guess, and a blood tracker. The worst thing is that scar. It has some very dark magic in it."
Harry paled with that description: "How is that possible? I only was at my relatives and Hogwarts."
Lord Greengrass said: "I call our family healer for an official statement, after that we will remove all of it, Heir Potter. You are an important member of our society, and this is not acceptable."
The Healer arrived and did a thorough examination. He confirmed the same problems: "This is a major crime Cyrus, I am friends with Moody, I'll ask him to come here.
Moody came with Nymphadora on his heel. Nimph noted the defects and illegal spells down.
I said: "Alright, it is time to remove all of it from Heir Potter. He is an important future Lord, and someone is attempting line theft. He is probably already stealing from his vaults and mansions. They were very rich, so he is a prime target. An orphan, the last Heir of a fortune, can be easily be manipulated. My suspect is his magical guardian. It is his job to guaranty the safety of heir Potter, which is obviously not the case."
Manipulation 34 Bullshitting 48
The healer started to remove all he could, Moody removed the blocks and blood trackers. Both failed at the curse scar. I made sure my hair was perfect, my smile was according to the trademark and did my show with the illusion included. The shade of Voldemort came out and disappeared with a scream.
I commented: "Who in his right mind would let a Horcrux fester in a baby? Was the boy not examined after the facts? Didn't St Mungo's examine him? They do that with all orphans, and child services? Aurors? Mr. Moody? Why did the DMLE abandon Heir Potter? He is clearly abused by his relatives! Look at his clothes! Is this the way we reward the boy that disposed of that mad man?"
Manipulation 35 Bullshitting 49
Moody was embarrassed: "Albus said the boy was well-taken care of with loving relatives." I asked Harry: "Heir Potter, did your relatives love you? Did they feed you plenty? Gave new clothes? Encouraged you to do well in school? Did you receive presents on birthdays and Christmas? Was your bedroom big enough for all your stuff?"
Harry froze at my questions. I said: "This is the moment to come clean, Heir Potter. There is no reason to be ashamed. You should be raging mad at the persons that want to destroy you. You are the last Heir of a very rich family, but I doubt you had a good time. They probably spend the money they got for you on themselves."
That last comment did it. Harry fumed: "I spend ten years in a cupboard under the stairs! I had to cook for them from five years old, but only got the leftovers to eat. I never had a birthday gift or a Christmas one. When I did better than Dudley at school I got beaten, I had to wear his cast-off clothes and shoes. I got beaten for accidental magic, Dudley had this game Harry hunting, when they caught me they beat me up! This summer they locked me in my room and fed me through a cat flap. One bowl of soup a day for me and my owl! And you tell me they got paid to take care of me?"
Ron was gaping at that outburst. Astoria had tears in her eyes from hearing Harry's sufferings.
I said: "We have to visit Gringotts to secure his funds. Mr. Moody, I am a teacher of Hogwarts, and the term starts at the departure of the train. I'll act as the in loco parentis, and act as his temporary guardian.
Heir Potter, Lord Greengrass is a powerful Lord and is a member of the Wizengamot. I want to install him as your legal and magical Guardian because both have abused you. You will spend your summers at his mansion and never return to your relatives!"
It is almost spoon-feeding, Rita will have a field day. Now, there is a little rat listening. I saw it peeking out of Ron's pocket and said: "Hey! There is a rat animagus listening in!" I grabbed the rat and forced changing him into Peter.
I said: "I recognize this man, He is Peter Pettigrew! He was always following Potter and Black. I thought he was dead?" I took his wands and portkeys. "Well, this is a strange wand. Priory encantem! Two killing curses are among them." Hah, take that! All in a good day's work.
I put parseltongue trackers on the rat and the wand, just in case.
I said to Ron: "Be glad you did not bring him into Gringotts, they have ways to detect them and will punish the ones that smuggle them." That was a message to Rita. I don't want to shovel dragon dung.
Manipulation 36
Xxxxx
We stunned the rat and put him in Moody's trunk. We got to Gringotts to change guardianship. I nudged Greengrass: "Let's read the will. I bet Peter is mentioned as the secret keeper."
Yes! I feel great! It all came out, Sirius the decoy, Peter the secret keeper, and Dumbledore knowing it all. Moody was steaming mad, the man he trusted so much acted as a Dark Lord. Astoria was holding Harry's hand all the way from the Cauldron. Tonks was impressed by me, Dispelling Curses even Moody could not Dispel, and me flashing smiles at her whenever I had the chance. I bet her panty is moist right now.
Lord Greengrass said to Harry: Heir Potter here is your ring, it will tell you if your food or drinks are potioned, and it protects against mind attacks. My advice to you is to be more assertive. If they bully you, you have the power to get them punished, even teachers. If you have questions owl me, if you think your mail is checked, give the letter to my daughter. She has the responsibility of a sister to you. She will guide you with your duties."
Astoria whispered: "And she has a big crush on you." Ron protested: "She is a Slytherin! They are evil!" Astoria shrugged: "Dumbledore was a Gryffindor and look what he has done to Harry. And so that you know, Merlin was a Slytherin too." That shut Ron up, told off by a girl stung.
Xxxxx
We left Moody and Tonks, the poor thing could not stand my flirting, her hair kept on changing to pink. We apparated to Greengrass manor where Harry could select his room. At lunch, I gave Harry a restorative potion, that restored all defects and corrected his growth. I shrugged: "Family secret."
Lady Greengrass let an elf take measurements and buy a few sets of clothes. Ron had a hard time, his friend landed in heaven while he still was dressed in rags.
I gave him a pep talk: "You know Mr. Weasley, I know your family, not closely, but enough. I deeply respect them for the sacrifices they make to put you through Hogwarts. They must have several loans out, to pay for your education. Your older brothers are probably helping out too. I bet that you do your very best at Hogwarts to thank them for their sacrifices. You may wear second-hand clothes right now, but when you study real hard, you get a good job, enchanting is a high paying job, warding too. A lot of kids slack off and pay dearly when they get crappy jobs. But, have no fear, because I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor, and will be teaching you all."
Manipulation 37
Meh, he will probably still slack off. I warned him, that is enough.
Xxxxx
Fawkes appeared, he wanted to fetch Harry, but I held him off with Telekinesis. I removed the Curse Binding on the pest, without killing it! I said: "Well Fawkes, you are free now, can you keep Astoria company for a few weeks? Spending so much time with that old fart, a young girl will be a nice change don't you think?" Astoria had stars in her eyes at the sight of the phoenix.
I remarked at Harry: "See? That bird is stealing the show. While I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor have done all the work.
Self pithy 20
Crap game. It was time to get the kids to the station, the train was bound to arrive. I apparated them to the station, and let them blend in with the other students. I flamed into my quarters to fix my hair and my outfit. Because you know that I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor. I am particularly proud of the Most-Charming Smile. It got me plenty of pussy.
I took my seat just before the students entered the hall.
14 First classes.
Yes! Admire me! I, Gilderoy Lockhart, have the attention of most of the female students. I gave them my Trade Mark Smile, leaving the girls sighing at the sight of me. I have made my mind up when they are seventeen, and already lost their flower, which is free game for the Great Lockhart.
Hmm, that sounded evil… Alright, alright! I'll forget the students. But teachers are free game, even Kitty and Sprout are getting on my list. Don't worry, I will use a lot of lube.
Where was I? Ah, yes, the students admiring me. When everyone was seated the firsties came in for sorting. Should I? Would I? Could I? I will... fuck his sorting up again.
Creevy got shoved in Hufflepuff, Luna? Meh, I'll make sure she doesn't get bullied. I can't remember any other characters from canon, so I shuffled them randomly. I did take care not to send any muggleborns into the snake pit, I am having fun but am not cruel. Ginny got into Ravenclaw, so she can defend Luna, and get Molly's knickers in a twist.
Dumbledore did his grandfatherly speech, he did introduce me. I stood up, did my Trade Mark Smile, made my eyes sparkle, I even timed it with the spark on my teeth. Yep, I still have it. Compared to Snape I am a paradise bird while Snape is a crow.
The food was acceptable, silently I Dispelled the loyalty potion to Dumbledore. While I am at it, I silently dispelled McGonagall, Sprout… who am I kidding, I dispelled all the female teachers' food. It is funny when the wizards can't detect my Gamers magic.
Now I have to clip some claws. I Cut Legilimence from Snape for me, I used Copy on Flitwick's Dueling Skill. It is a cheat that I can use both on me once a week. When I want to Paste it to another, it works only one time a week.
I plan to rob Dumbledore and Snape blind and Copy the Skills from the rest. Anyway, the meal ended with Dumbledore's announcements. YataYata, forbidden Forest, YataYata, list of Filch.
Xxxxx
The bastards had me on night patrol from one until four. It totally messes my beauty sleep up. I have to see if I can get my hands on a time-turner. Invisible, I took a peek at the Slytherin dorms. All the male seventh-years and sixth-years were lying on the floor of the girls' corridors.
The wards were set to punish the student in proportion to the crime he wanted to commit. They were screaming their lungs out, the bones of their arms and legs were broken in several places, hey! I spotted the albino ferret with the bookends on the floor! Hmm? In front of Greengrass and Davis room?
Those are my favorite snakes! Judging on the injuries, the ferret wanted to rape one of them. Using Legilimence I found out he wanted to rape Davis, while Greengrass would be forced to watch… Yep, the little ponce is toast. I removed the bits to reproduce from the ferret. If he ever wants to have sex, he will have to bind a stick to it, to keep it erect.
Although the rape would not have succeeded, the girls' room was heavily warded. Several fifth and fourth-years were involved too. Meh, they did ask for it.
Xxxxx
The next morning at breakfast, several Slytherins were missing, Snape was missing too. Meh, who cares. They probably are all in the hospital wing. I checked my schedule, it was fairly easy, seven years, each year three hours, so twenty-one hours of class. I can live with that. Six hours a day class, means I have nine free hours. No dammed, the first five years are split in half, I have only four hours free.
Meh, in construction you have to work eight hours a day, in some countries even more, so this is the lazy life. My first class are the firsties Huffies and Claws for a double, followed by the Sixth year for an hour, after lunch a single with the Newt class, and a double with the fifth Snakes and Lions.
Xxxxx
Let's do this shit… I had to wait for the firsties to find their way. Fifteen minutes too late, the last one arrived. I gave them my Trade Mark smile and said: "Ten points from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, for failing to guide the first-year students to class. There are six prefects, it should not be so hard to guide the first years on their first week in school."
I grinned at them: "Well my Huffies and Claws, let us first start with defining what we have to defend against. What are Dark arts?" Several hands shot in the air, I pointed to a Huff, he said: "Dark Arts are evil spells Dark wizards use to harm us."
I said: "Close, but not complete. Someone else?" I pointed a Claw: "Dark Arts are spells and creatures that the ministry labeled Dark or illegal to use against other wizards." I shook my head: "Still not good enough." I pointed to Luna, she said: "Dark Arts are all spells that are used against another with the purpose to do harm. Dark creatures are creatures that have humans on the menu."
I laughed: "Five points to the Claws for that almost perfect answer. All spells can be Dark Arts when they are used to do harm. I can blind someone with a Lumos, I can cut someone's hand off with a cutting spell your mother or father used to cut vegetables.
The moment you attack another human with the intention to harm or kill, you are considered a Dark Wizard. Exceptions are when you defend yourself, your family, your home, or innocents, against attackers. Dark creatures, as miss here said, have us on the menu. We are part of the food chain, we just have to avoid getting eaten.
This is what you are here for. To learn to defend yourself. This is the first class of the year so you have not learned any spells.
What we are going to do is put your books away. And I will give you a new one." I passed a book to every student and explained: "This book: Seven Years DaDa with Lockhart. Book One: The First Steps. I made it especially for you. Open it on page five. You see the Stinging Hex spell, explained on page five and demonstrated on page six. We will use this spell a lot this year, so make sure you learn it well. This will be your task for your next class with me. Practice the spell, alone or in a group, let an older student help you, I don't care, but you need to perform the spell, next class.
Now, the first half of the book are spells that the first years are required to know and optional spells that are on your level.
The second half of the book are spells that are useful to know. Grooming and household spells to clean your clothes, dry them and or your body, spells to clean your shoes, so Filch won't punish you for mud on your boots. Spells for gardening, cooking, cleaning. In other words, everything your parents are doing for you right now. This includes also the spell our headmaster uses to let his eyes sparkle and the spell that lets professor Snape's Cape billow.
In fact, The first student of this class that demonstrated one of those two spells to me got ten points." That got everyone excited. I conjured several dummies in a row at a wall. I said: "Page five, read and practice your wand movements. When you think you are ready go in front of a dummy and try it out. Remember, Magic is imagining the spell and will it to happen with the spell."
It was no surprise Ginny was the first to try. I'll bet Molly used it all the time on the twins. I stood behind her to watch, at the same time I dispelled her. A small dark cloud left her, she felt the possession leave her and looked at me.
I said silently to her: "Someone was putting a curse on you, Miss. Do you have a magic object that you use regularly? Or are you talking to some stranger?" She gasped: "My diary! It writes back to me."
I smiled at her: "Hand the diary over to me and I will examine it." Ginny went to her bookcase and took the diary out, she handed the book over.
Hmm, I'll shake the tree a bit: "Class, I just received a cursed item. I will tell you a bit about the man that cursed it." I showed the diary: "There was a boy many years ago, he was raised in an orphanage almost sixty years ago. He grew up, and had some accidental magic, the children got scared, the older kids bullied him, so he learned to defend himself. That is not so bad, but he started to enjoy giving pain to the other kids. He grew up as an evil bully, he was sneaky enough to never get caught, but everyone knew who did it.
He got the Hogwarts letter and got sorted in Slytherin. At that time they did not like muggleborns in their house, so, the first years he got bullied a lot. Until he fought back in his fourth year. He found out he was related to an old family and started to mingle with the purebloods and hate the muggle-born.
After he graduated he disappeared to the continent and became one of the worst Dark Wizards there. This diary he had cursed to possess the ones that write in it. A simple diary, but a terrible curse. But enough about that, Miss, try your jinx."
Ginny succeeded at the third try, encouraged by her success, others came forwards and try their luck. By the end of class almost everyone got it, the ones who didn't were close.
At the end of class, I said: "I hate homework, so I want five-foot about the spell you learned." They all gasped, I smiled my Trade Mark Smile: "Just kidding, no homework for the first month, but I expect you to practice some spells from the book.
And as the last present from your most favorite DaDa teacher, there is a floor plan of Hogwarts on the last pages of the book. There are seven floors, so seven pages. There are some secret passages marked on to make traveling to classes easier. For example on the sixth floor close to the claws is a staircase that leads directly to the first floor close to the Great Hall, the same for the Puffies. You can use the weekend to explore. Now off you go."
Xxxxx
The next hour was devoted to the sixth-years. After my introduction, you know, the lines: "I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, Play Witch Monthly's most used fantasy, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor, will make this year exiting."
The books were introduced with the explanation, and I started my Bullshi… lesson: "Class, we are on our way to adulthood, we have to prepare for life after Hogwarts, careers have to be considered, options need to be explored. In this class, we are refreshing our basic knowledge for the first month, after that we tackle new ones. This month we focus on silent casting.
I also give an annual project, that needs to be done before the end of the year. The task of Sixth-year DaDa class is… to steal my magic! Yes, you heard me, by the end of the term you must steal my magic, or prove it is impossible to steal it.
A lot of the previous war motives were the question of how the muggleborns got their magic and accused them of stealing it. So here is the task: Steal my magic, only use muggle items and means. You can not use magic to steal it, for the obvious reason that muggles have none. Any questions?"
Total silence, did I forget to say my lines? Slowly a Claw asked: "We have to steal your magic?" I gave my Trade Mark Smile and nodded: "Of course, you can choose the other option, and prove the muggleborns are getting their magic from something else, instead of theft. The keyword is PROVE! Just telling me is not enough. You have to show facts, numbers, data. Now gather in front of those training dummies and practice your spells."
I walked around, correcting spells and wand movements. At the end of class, I said: "What we are going to work this year at is silent casting with a minimum of wand movements. The best way to lose a fight is to yell your spells to your opponent. Some duelers trained to yell the name of a spell and to cast another silently. Of you go, I am hungry. Remember: I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, Play Witch Monthly's most used fantasy, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor am here to help."
Of course, I have to end like this.
Xxxxx
Before I went to lunch I called Dobby. When he popped in, I dispelled the Diary right in front of him. I said: "Dobby, you are a brave and loyal elf, have some patience and I make sure to free you. I'll even ask Mister Potter to hire you." The little bugger hugged my legs while sobbing: "Dobby thanks yous Mister Peacock."
WTF? That is the second bloody elf that calls me that! Is that elf of mine gossiping to the others? Although the description is spot on, I can't deny that.
At lunch, most of the upper years from Slytherin were still missing. I asked Kitty: "The Slytherins are not hungry? They missed breakfast too." Kitty answered stiffly: "They are all in the hospital wing, there was an incident last night and all are injured."
I looked at her: "Oh? That must have some big fight to get so many in the hospital wing, who won? She glared at me, hey! I am not used to females glaring at me. She said: "They were found injured in the corridors with broken bones and internal injuries."
I shrugged: "Why are they in the hospital wing? They should be in St. Mungo's, Madam Pomfrey is just a medic witch, not a full-scaled healer. And so many are injured. When word gets out that their health care is refused, that could spell problems for Hogwarts."
Kitty hissed at me: Madam Pomfrey is a fully qualified school nurse!" I nodded: "I agree. Not a Healer, a nurse. When their parents find out about it, I fear for your job. As deputy headmistress those decisions are yours and the school nurse to make. She should at least call for backup. Did she?"
Kitty paled at my words, I piled on to it: "In cases like this, the Deputy Headmaster or Mistress are the fall guys to take the blame. I assume there are some Heirs and purebloods among them?"
Kitty stood up and ran… speed walked to the hospital wing. Another good deed is done. For the rest of lunch, I flirted with Babbling and Sinistra. Amazing them with my knowledge of Runes and Astronomy: "You must visit my quarters sometimes, I spelled my ceiling with the southern hemisphere sky. So at night, I look at those constellations. It is quite fascinating. I did it all with Runes. Hah, I have them in my bed this month!
Xxxxx
After lunch, the Newts came in, I looked them over: "Welcome to my class, to pass your Newts you will have to work yourselves to the bones, I said it to the Owl class, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday I'll be here after dinner for one hour to tutor you.
Put those books away, here are new ones." I gave: Seven Years with Lockhart. Book Seven: Going for Master with an O+ Newt. I said: "I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, Play Witch Monthly's most used fantasy, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor, am going to ensure you pass your final exams.
The girls in class had steam coming out their ears with the Play Witch comment. I explained the book and its function. I let them practice their spells from the last years for an hour, correcting the mistakes and demonstrating them.
I said: "This is what we are going to do on those nights until Christmas. After Christmas, we will practice new spells.
Also, we are going to research why the Last Lord's cause was doomed to fail. Don't give me those looks, we are not going to follow someone like a sheep, you are going to form your own opinion. Are you convinced he was right? Prove it with facts and figures. This means not hiding behind some slogans like Pureblood cause, or he was Dark, so he is bad, No, research how he got in power, how he worked, why he got so many followers, and most of all: What is his real identity?"
A lion commented: "That is a dangerous task professor. We are going to step on some sensitive toes." I shrugged: "How dangerous can it be? Both sides should be eager to prove they are right and help you research. When they are proven wrong, they should be happy that we solved it and they can find something else to believe in."
Bullshitting 49
Hmm… it is getting harder to level that up. I said: "Anyway, partner up in threes for some mock fights. This is a three-way fight. One against two, you will find out that when you focus on one, the other can take advantage of it and flank you." I levitated the tables and chairs to the side and started the fight. It was total mayhem. Most were girls teaming together and giving the boys a good spanking. At the end of class, I said: "Brush up on your spells from previous years. on the three evenings, I will have course books from all years here for reference sake."
Xxxxx
Dammed I forgot to say my lines! Hah, the fifth-years will have to suffer for it. The snakes and lions came in.
I gave my Trade Marked Smile: "Good day my precious students! I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor!" I scored by the ladies, but the boys groaned. Hah, they don't know quality, even when they are rubbed with their faces in it.
I continued: "Books away, I have here your new coursebook: Seven Years DaDa with Lockhart. Book Five: An O+ for Owls. In it are all the spells you need to know in your fifth year. I expect you to learn from the first four books too. Now a short explanation, open on page five…"
What followed was the same thing as with the firsties. At the end: "Every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I will tutor the Owl and Newt class here for an hour. Come if you want to, if not... your Owls, not mine. Pair up, one snake with one lion, it seems we are missing some male snakes, You, go to that burly male, it is fair two girls against one boy, no? You miss, go help that girl. Now let us have some fun, Three pairs here, one cast stinging jinxes, the other one dodge it. Ten casts, then change. You have to at least dodge five. Start!"
At the end of class, everyone was panting: "That are the summer holidays that need to leave the body! Look at me! I am not tired at all!" That last comment got me some death glares, I did not even lift my but from my chair. I held my hands up: "Alright! Next time I exercise along with you. Deal? Homework: From the first ten spells, learn at least three of them. And demonstrate them on these dummies. Dismiss. Don't worry! I am the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile, and your beloved Defense against the Dark Arts Professor, will make sure you get your DaDa Owl."
Xxxxx
That evening at dinner, Miss Weasley came to the head table in front of me. She smiled and let her eyes sparkle! I exclaimed: "Ten points to Ravenclaw for the first sparkle!" the Ravenclaw's sheered. Ginny smirked, turned around, and left with a billowing cape. I shouted: "Another ten points for that perfectly executed billowing spell and flair demonstrating it!" Ginny Weasley was the star of tonight at Ravenclaw.
Kitty asked me: "What did you teach them Gilderoy?" I laughed: "I did not teach her that. It is in her coursebook under optional spells to learn on their own. I promised ten points if they could learn the sparkling eyes of the headmaster or the billowing cloak from Snape. The Miss… hmm, I need to remember their names, she learned both spells after only a few hours. She is very talented."
Kitty asked: "You let them practice spells on their own?" I shrugged: "I doubt it, it was a challenge, so she must have asked an older student to help." Sure enough, when several Claws left the hall, it was with billowing cloaks. Snape was fuming, if he keeps on doing it he would be the laughing stock of Hogwarts.
I asked Kitty: "How many students are in St. Mungo's?" Kitty sighed: "Five, Young Malfoy is worse. He lost the ability to reproduce. It is puzzling that some of them have worse wounds than others." Why were they fighting in that corridor? Is it a first-day-of-school thing? Establish the pecking order?"
She sighed: "They were found in the girls' corridors. Someone must have installed wards in the corridors to defend the female students." I looked at her: "Minerva, that statement of yours is what worries me. You are telling me those corridors were not warded before? Those boys expected to enter the rooms of girls and do what? Do you realize the severity of what you are saying? If those wards are intent-based, what were those boys planning? How many years is this going on?"
She clearly did not understand what I was saying, I continued: "Those boys have terrorized their female Slytherins. If those wards were not active then several girls would have been raped or abused. Do you approve of this? Are you fine with girls being raped? As long they are not Gryffindors you ignore it?"
Slowly it dawned at her: "Morgana! I have to check the wards in all dorms." She stood up and left. There goes a woman with too many jobs. Snape glared at me but said nothing. Hmm? Albus is not here? He must be on damage control.
Xxxxx
I went to my classroom for my first tutor session. The room was packed, I just let them do their thing, correcting some, giving tips to others, it was quite rewarding to see them improve.
New Skill: Teaching 15
That evening Sinistra came to look at my ceiling, she was very impressed with the evening sky. I said to her: "You can visit tonight after your classes and take a look at the stars." To soon? Meh, I can only try, the year is still young.
Xxxxx
At breakfast, the owls came in, a raggedy old owl made his way to Ginny with a red envelope. I took control of the letter and with a loud voice Molly said: "I am proud of you Ginny. No matter what house you are in we love you."
It was not what the letter said, but I will send Molly a howler of my own today. Anyway Ginny was happy. The Daily Fantasy threw Harry's story on the front page.
Boy-who-Lives testified: I lived ten years in a cupboard under the stairs because of Dumbledore!
Relatives of Boy who Lived arrested for child abuse! More on page 3
Sirius Black was put in Askaban without a trial! More on page 4
Peter Pettigrew was found alive! Pettigrew was the real secret keeper of the Potters! More on page 7
Sirius Black is Lord Black! This could be line theft for two houses! More on Page 6
Dumbledore behind the abuse of house Potter and House Black! More on pages 5-8-9
I did send Rita a memory from the meeting in Gringotts. The whole paper was devoted to Harry Potter. Kitty was stunned: "Sweet Morgana! I told Dumbledore they were bad for Harry."
I nodded: "You must have hated the Potters a lot for abandoning their son to those people. I know they pranked a lot, but to punish young Harry for it? That is low, monstrous even. Did you really drop him on a doorstep without knocking on the door? As a piece of garbage? If I were you, I would visit a mind healer, if this is the real you, then I don't think we can be friends."
Hah! Take that kitty! She should at least check his well-being. They were in the same order, that should count for something.
I piled on: "So here you are, eating three meals a day, Albus on his throne, and you as his lapdog next to him. Did you know Albus was helping himself to the Potter fortune? For managing the fostering of Harry Potter. Did you receive money? Let yourself checked at St. Mungo's, Madam McGonagall, and hope there is something wrong with you. Because if there is nothing wrong with you… you will share the blame with Dumbledore."
Huh? This is the third time I chase her away from her meal.
Manipulating 38