9. Horcrux Hunt.
I protested, "I did not start the rumor that I have a Harem! Katie started that as a joke. Besides, it was Astoria's fault, she was the one asking for a spot in my Harem after some of us joked that she will end up with Draco and her son named Scorpio."
Did I throw Astoria before the lions? She started it with that kick to my shin, so she needs to get a part of the blame. Her mother yanking my ear does hurt like a bitch, so she deserves it.
Daphne glared at me, "Don't blame Astoria, Potter. She is not here and can't defend herself. Besides, you did not protest or deny that you have a Harem. It may have started as a joke, but a lot of people are taking it seriously."
I got curious, "Who wanted a spot in my Harem? I would have thought they bailed out once they saw my history."
Lady Greengrass let go of my ear. "More than we are comfortable with, Harry. Their ages vary from five to twenty-five. A lot of those girls are attending Hogwarts."
She had a strange smile on her face when she added, "Now that you're learning to be a lord, it will be a good exercise to write those parents why you can not accept their daughters into your Harem. You can start with us. Why did you not accept Astoria, Harry?"
I looked at Daphne for help, nope, nothing there. Tracey? Here eyes said it was payback for my jokes at the Basilisk. No help from her either. Lord Greengrass frowned, his little Princess in a Potter Harem? Over his dead body! No, over MY dead body by the look on his face!
I don't have puppy eyes, but I can ride the pity train, "How can I accept Astoria, Lady Greengrass? With my history and upbringing, would I be a suitable husband? Would I treat Astoria the way she deserves? Ten years in a cupboard did not teach me how to be a husband for one wife, let alone for a Harem. Even my jokes are improper, as Tracey can testify. I have a lot to learn before I can start relationships."
Daphne mocked me, "He knows plenty enough to evade your questions, Mother. Do not let him off the hook."
I looked at Daphne, "Off the hook? What are you? A fisherwoman? Who taught you those expressions?"
Daphne looked smug at me, "You learn some when you have a window looking out into the Black Lake from your common room, Potter. And you are still evading Mother's questions. Explain why you don't want Astoria? Isn't she good enough for you?"
I glared at her, "How would I know, Daphne? I am thirteen years old. Do you know if Astoria is good enough for me? Are you good enough?"
Daphne shook her head, "Still evading, Harry. You have to try harder."
I narrowed my eyes. She wants to hear it? Let's see if she can handle it. "Nobody is good enough to be in my Harem, Daphne. Because that will be a death sentence for them. Dumbledore is still out there to end my line, and Voldemort is not completely dead yet. So, any girl in my Harem has a big target on her back. She will be looking over her shoulders for years. Now tell me, who wants a life like that?"
I stopped Tracey from commenting, "No, Tracey, not those parents when they realize they are sending their daughters to the chopping block."
Lord Greengrass ended the discussion, "That is what you will write to those parents, Harry. Let's change the subject. You told me you have flashes from the locations of those… Artifacts?"
I nodded, "One is in a Vault in Gringotts, a cup. One is in an old house filled with snake motifs, a locket. And one is in an old shack, a ring. The diary is done, so is my scar."
I hope Nagini isn't one yet. That will ruin our Horcrux hunt. Lord Greengrass asked, "Do you know what vault that cup is in?"
I shrugged, "Going on the fanaticism, I bet the Lestranges. It is a cup with badger motifs on the side. That shack looks like it has been empty for fifty years, and that old house screams old money, but it looks like it has been uninhabited for years."
Slowly, Lord Greengrass nodded, "I will hand those tips over to Madam Bones. Gringotts will help, no doubt. We will handle it from here, Harry. That is the responsibility of adults to protect the children from harm. Something the Professors at Hogwarts forgot to do."
He continued, "Madam Bones and I have received letters from Sirius Black, claiming his innocence. We already knew after interrogating Pettigrew, but Sirius Black is wary of the Ministry and refuses to come to the DMLE. We arranged for his hearing after Yule. He asked me to meet him during the Yule break. I leave the decision to meet him up to you."
I nodded, "I'll meet him after Yule. That is two weeks away. I'll write to him first."
Lord Greengrass stood up, indicating the meeting was over. he stared at me, "Practice your refusal, Heir Potter. Not one Father wants to give up their precious daughter, but not one Father wants to hear why his daughter is not good enough for you. Choose your words wisely, Heir Potter."
Xxxxx
Outside the Three Broomsticks, I told Daphne, "You know, it's the task of a sister to help her brother with advice in words and deeds." I turned to Tracey, "And a bosom friend of that sister will help her willingly."
Tracey shook her head, "You have to do better than that, Potter."
I grinned, "I could accept you into my Harem, if your parents offered you to join it. What are the odds for them to send an offer?"
Tracey glared at me, "You would receive a lifetime of misery, Potter! Accidents do happen. You can ask Draco about it. Daphne, remind me to ask Astoria to borrow her book."
I held my hands up in surrender, "OK, OK, keep your panties on. I'll figure it out myself. There is no need to turn to violence. You girls are scaring me to death."
I smiled at them, "I am meeting Katie and Hermione at Madam Puddifoot's for tea and pastries, do you want to come? As friends, of course, or as in Daphne's case, a sister."
Daphne looked at me with pity, "Dream on, Potter. You want everyone to think we are part of your Harem? What is your angle?"
I shrugged, "Don't care what people think, to be honest. It is just tea and pastries with lots of chocolate."
Tracey pulled Daphne along, "Come, Daph, I always wanted to try that tea shop. Harry is buying. Let's order the expensive stuff."
Xxxxx
We entered the tea shop and asked for a table for five people. The waitress pushed two tables together and arranged the chairs for them. Tracey and Daphne were skimming through the menu card to find the most expensive dishes.
Tracey grinned, "Did you bring enough cash with you, Potter? It's going to cost you."
I shrugged, "Go for it, Tracey. They say a date in Madam Puddifoot's tea shop is unforgettable."
Tracey hissed, "This is not a date, Potter!"
I pointed at Daphne, "It is for you and her, Davis! Am I right or am I not wrong?"
The Old Guy pictured those two as a Bi couple, leaning more to the Yuri side, but not admitting it to the crowd. Not that I care either way; they are part of the inner circle, people in the know, the Memory Club.
I smiled. "Relax, we're friends. We have excellent memories; they bind us together in a special way, don't you think?"
The girls relaxed. Daphne sighed, "You are right, Harry. It creates a bond, a strong bond."
Tracey agreed, "We want this nightmare to end as fast as possible so that we can live without worries. Ah, there they are."
Katie and Hermione entered the tea shop and saw us sitting at the table. Katie grinned when she saw Daphne and Tracey with me. When she sat down, she commented, "So, you finally gave in to each other's feelings? I am rooting for you!"
"Be nice, Kate," I scolded softly, "I haven't checked the room for bugs yet. Water-bugs are a nasty kind, always on the lookout for a scoop."
Hermione said, "I have just the spell for it, but I need permission from the staff to cast it."
Katie pointed her wand at a bug that was desperately trying to fly away, "Accio Water bug!"
One of the waitresses saw the bug flying toward Katie and smacked it down with an empty service tray. She looked at Katie and apologized, "We are sorry, miss. Our establishment should be protected against insects. We will have a specialist repair our wards. I will remove this insect immediately."
Wide-eyed, we witnessed the waitress put her foot on the bug and crush it, then she vanished, poor Rita. After a long silence, I was the first to recover, "Well… that was one way to get rid of Rita. Now we don't have to worry about how much she heard."
Hermione shuddered, "If I find out my animagus is a bug, then there is no way I will be one, ever!"
Tracey shook her head, "Tea and some biscuits, and get out of here as fast as we can without raising suspicion. I am going to freak out if we stay here longer!"
I called the waitress, "Miss, is it possible to take our order with us to do a picnic? We will return the cutlery and tea set. I will deposit a hundred Galleons as collateral. Is that alright? We have two friends in the castle who could not come with us."
For a hundred Galleons, I could take four tea sets with me. But, they did have a picnic arrangement, we left the shop with a picnic basket and were told we could return it at the next Hogsmeade weekend. Nobody in their right mind will have a picnic in the middle of Winter anyway.
Xxxxx
I located Luna and fetched her. "Come, Luna, let's have a picnic. Go to the RoR, I have to find Astoria, then we are complete."
Astoria was in the common room of Slytherin, doing homework. I slipped inside under my invisibility cloak, following a student, and whispered to Astoria, "Come to the RoR, Tory, everyone is there for a picnic."
Astoria froze up when she heard my voice, then she relaxed when she understood the message. She packed her school stuff into her room and left, with me following her. Once outside, I removed my cloak.
Astoria looked at me sideways and asked, "What is the occasion for that picnic?"
"The girls will fill you in," was my answer. There is no way I am telling her we got Rita killed.
When we entered the RoR, the door disappeared behind me. We were in a cozy room, one Astoria recognized. A table in the middle of the room was loaded with the tea set and pastries. Everyone sat in comfortable chairs, each lost in their thoughts, except Luna, who was munching on a pastry and sipping on tea. Astoria sat next to her and helped herself to one. Slowly, we started eating. We let Luna and Astoria do the small talk. Rita's death still shook us up.
Finally, Katie sighed, "I never expected that, it happened so fast. Should we tell this to someone?"
I asked, "Tell them what? That we saw a bug, and the staff of the tea shop killed it with a service tray? Or that we discovered Rita in her Bug form and she got killed by a waitress when we summoned her in her animagus form?"
Luna gasped, "Rita was spying on you? What did she hear? Wait, she died?"
Hermione nodded, "Katie saw her fly away and summoned her, a waitress watched her pass by and smacked her down with a service tray, then she stepped on her. After that, she vanished the corps. A perfect murder in a room full of customers and no trace of the body."
Daphne shook her head, "I'll be having nightmares of that crunching sound of Rita under that waitress's foot."
I remarked, "It saved us from tomorrow's headlines in that gossip rag. The Boy Who Lived on a date with his Harem. I can see it before me… wait, was that guy who takes the pictures in the room? Bono or Bozo something."
"No, Madam Puddifoot stands on discretion. The customer's privacy is one of the reasons she is making a profit," said Tracey. "Although he should have been in the neighborhood."
Katie snapped out of it, "Change the subject! Did you deliver the Tiara?"
Daphne nodded, "And got scolded for it. We took unnecessary risks by handling the tiara ourselves. There could be a compulsion curse on it to put it on our head and get possessed."
Hermione shook her head, "No, he wanted that Tiara in Hogwarts, a charm to make it look worthless was more likely."
Xxxxx
When we were about to leave the RoR for dinner, Katie said, "I'll be back tonight; there's no way I'm sleeping alone."
Hermione added, "Me neither."
Luna smiled, "Harry and I will be waiting." She looked at the Slytherins, "I will make a door close to the Slytherin common room. It will be back twenty minutes before curfew if you are interested."
Three doors appeared, we stepped through ours, I put the basket in my trunk, and went down for dinner. The atmosphere in the Great Hall was different from what it had been in the past. The Slytherins lost their backer and toned down their shenanigans after a sixth-year student was expelled, and three more were put on probation. Professor Vectra runs a strict ship in Slytherin.
Our Griffindors did not escape either. Babbling is the new head of House. The twins are now walking on eggshells. A wrong move, and they're history. Kitty, you ask? She is still Professor of Transfiguration. She had to give up her other two jobs to keep this one. She was shaken to the bones when she found out what Dumbledore had done to her. Her Hero, her Master, her Puppeteer! Meh, fuck the bitch.
There is no potion or DaDa professor yet, we need a new Headmaster and a new Deputy Headmistress, the Board of Governors will appoint them during Yule break. Yeah, we use the original names again. Samhain, Yule, Imbolc, Beltane, those kinds of holidays. For better integration, they said.
Xxxxx
We gathered in the RoR at curfew, to our surprise, the Slytherins came. Luna expanded her bed to fit us all, and pointed to a small room, "You can change into night clothes there. Imagine your night clothes and they will appear."
I sat between Luna and Katie on the bed, in boxers and a T-shirt. Katie had a sexy negligee, Luna copied one in eyeball-hurting yellow, and Hermione wore PJs. The Slytherins dressed in modest nightgowns and nervously got into bed.
"So, this is like a slumber party, isn't it?" commented Tracey, "It feels like one."
I shrugged, "I wouldn't know, I never had one. I thought we came here to forget what happened this afternoon."
Katie slapped my arm, "You just let us remember it again. Potter! Change the subject."
I sighed, "OK… how about helping me to reject all those Harem offers? What do I have to say?"
Tracey giggled, "Practice on Astoria."
Astoria was puzzled, "Why me?"
Tracey spilled the beans, "Potter blamed you for starting this Harem mania, by asking to join his Harem. Aunt Veronica was not happy when she received all those letters from parents asking her to let their daughters join Harry's Harem. Harry must refuse them himself, starting with you."
Astoria narrowed her eyes, "Tell me, why am I not good enough for you, Potter? Am I not pretty enough? Do you prefer Daphne or Tracey? Is it because I have a blood malediction and will die before I am forty? Or is it that I have to marry that Malfoy creep?"
I am starting to regret coming here tonight. I shook my head, "Nope, you can not guilt trip me, little Greengrass. Yes, you're pretty. In a few years, you'll be smoking hot, just like your sister. You know that I have Dumbledore and Voldemort on my tail. Being with me probably won't keep you alive til forty, you will be dead sooner. Besides, you have to wait six years before you can marry me. By then, you will be in love with someone else. Draco perhaps."
That last made her scream, "No Way!"
Katie nudged me, "So… Daphne is smoking Hot? Do you have the Hots for her, Harry? Are you going to forget about me? About Hermione?"
I pinched her leg, "No, I won't forget about you and Hermione, both of you are in my Harem, remember?"
Hermione groaned, "Stop talking about that Harem, please! Let's talk about what has to be done during our Christmas break."
I nodded, "I will take care of the locket when I visit Sirius. Lord Greengrass will talk to the Goblins for the cup, and he will hire a team of curse breakers for the ring in that shack. We got the Tiara, and the Diary is destroyed. What about Nagini? How did Voldemort get Nagini? Is she in Albania?"
Hermione answered, "She probably is in Albania, and will be made into a Horcrux when Pettigrew finds Tom. If we can destroy his Horcruxes before New Year, that Wrait will fade away when he tries to possess another animal."
I commented, "Some say Voldemort needs a body to be killed for good, Old Guy disputed that. Once the anchors are gone and Tom leaves for the next body, it will, like Hermione said, fade away."
Daphne asked, "Harry? How are you going to handle Dumbledore? He will be a treat for as long as he is alive."
I smiled at Luna, "Hello, star reporter, how about you visit a nice old lady in Godricks Hallow? Bathilda Bagshot has such nice stories about Albus and her nephew, Gellert. I'm sure readers will love a series about Albi-Walby and Gelly Grindelwald. Love stories are big sellers, don't you think so?"
Luna leaned against me, "You are taking good care of me, Hubby. I bet we can search Siberia for the Crumpled Horned Snorkacks with the money from those articles."
I put my arm around her and pulled her closer, "A good husband has to provide for the wife, Moonbeam."
Tracey frowned, "How is making Dumbledore angrier going to help? Isn't it going to make him more dangerous if you expose his dirty secrets?"
I nodded, "Yes, it is going to make him more dangerous, it will also cut off the goodwill from his last supporters when they find out about his love affair with Gellert. Our best chance is to expose Dumbledore's dirty laundry and isolate him. He lost a lot of credit by abusing me and corrupting his positions. This will be the last blow."
Daphne yawned, "We will discuss it on the train next week. I am sleepy now. Can someone dim the light?"
Luna made a small light in the bathroom, and turned out the main light, then she hugged me and said, "Hubby, I need my good night kiss… Snog."
Katie spoke up, "Me too, when you are done with Luna, Harry."
Hermione was next, "Me three, Harry, I need my first kiss."
I was puzzled, "You already had two first kisses, Hermione. How is this going to be your first kiss?"
Hermione explained, "My first was a good night snog, the other first was a snog while standing up. Now this is my first Group Orgy Snog."
I frowned, "Hmm, Hermione? I am pretty sure this is not an Orgy. First, we're way too young for that kind of stuff. Astoria is only twelve, and I bet Daphne and Tracey would rather kiss you than me. You will get your snog, though."
Xxxxx
I woke up with Katie in my arms, spooning her from behind, my hand was playing with a nipple, and my mouth was exploring her neck and ear. She started to moan and react, which made my hand wander South to the triangle of pleasure and the divine nob of bliss. She turned on her back to give me better access. It was not long before she had to suppress a scream to Morgana, the goddess of orgasms.
We got an audience, Hermione was watching us closely, she softly asked, "Harry? Can you do that with me too?"
Katie whispered, "I'll move aside, go ahead."
Katie and I switched places, I unbuttoned Hermione's pyjama vest and started to suck on her nipples, while my hand went into her pyjama pants to search for the good stuff. Soon, Hermione got her first handjob. Morgana was called upon a second time. Katie did not forget about me, while I was taking care of Hermione, she played with my Dude. I called on Merlin, of course.
A bit after that, we heard Morgana being called by Daphne and Tracey. Astoria groaned, "Can you keep it down? I am still sleepy. Bloody Merlin and Morgana."
Tracey and Daphne blushed when they realized we knew. We shrugged. Let's wait until they see Luna's communal shower.
That night brought us closer together, or maybe it was the group shower, which was also possible.
Xxxxx
We got off the train, and I am ready to see my new home. These two weeks will be devoted to the Horcrux hunt.
10. Seriously Serious walking the Dog.
Lord and Lady Greengrass were waiting for me. Lady Abbot was there for Susan and Hannah. I don't recognize the rest. Katie dragged me along to meet her Mum. "Mum, This is Harry Potter. Harry, my mother."
I shook mother's hand. "I am pleased to meet you, ma'am. Katie is one of my best friends. I hope I am allowed to pay a visit this break."
Katie's mum smiled, "Call me Aunt Brenda, Mr. Potter. You are welcome to visit if you announce it a few days in advance."
While hugging Katie goodbye, I said, "I will, Aunt Brenda. Call me Harry; I am not used to being Mr. Potter. Katie, I will talk to you later. I have to go. Bye."
Next were Hermione and her parents. Hermione introduced me again: "Mum, Dad, Harry wants to ask if he could visit me. Harry, ask it. The Greengrasses are waiting for you."
I shook the parents' hands and asked, "I'm Pleased to meet you. Call me Harry. Is it allowed for me to visit Hermione?"
Hermione's dad nodded, "You may visit when we are at home, Harry."
Astoria shouted, "Harry! We are waiting!"
With a small wave to Hermione, I walked to Astoria and said, "Who did not pay attention in etiquette class? Shouting on the train platform? I think you need more classes, Miss Astoria."
Lady Greengrass hid a smile and said, "She sure needs them, Harry. She will be your partner for your dancing lessons."
Astoria gasped, "Noooo! Mum! That caveman can not dance at all! My feet will be trampled!"
She must have seen the memory of the Yule ball on the DVD, I protested, "Hold on, Missy! Who said that you are a good dancer? Besides, I hear cushion charms on your feet prevent hurting your toes."
Lord Greengras said, "We'd better leave now. I feel this discussion will take a while. Dear, you take Daphne and Astoria, I'll take Tracey and Harry."
He nodded to the Abbots, put his hands on my and Tracey's shoulders, and let me feel the most awful feeling. Apparating, the guy who invented that should be flogged. I could barely keep my food in my stomach.
"Welcome home, Harry," said Lord Greengrass.
I said, as is proper, "Thank you for your hospitality, Lord Greengrass, I will not abuse your goodwill."
Lord Greengrass nodded approvingly. "That is an acceptable response, Harry, but as I already said, you can call me Uncle Cyrus, and my wife Aunt Veronica."
I nodded, "I will, Uncle Cyrus."
Xxxxx
This place is huge! Built in the style of late eighteen hundred, and bloody big! Get this, the third floor on the west wing is all mine! I could house two Quidditch teams and have room to spare! This place has an echo!
The parents sleep on the first floor, also in the West wing. Their precious daughters? All the way back in the East wing. I need my broom to visit them. Yesterday was the nineteenth of December, and the train ride home was on Saturday. Yule is on the twenty-first of December, so I have this day to do all my shopping. That is cutting it short. In fact, Katie and Hermione are doing Christmas, and I have the rest under one roof. Tracey spends more time here than at home.
What do I buy for Luna? A lifelike Harry Potter hugging pillow? Nah, I prefer to get those hugs myself. An extended bag for her, so the skanks can not steal from her again. A bag for Hermione? No, a library trunk, she is my oldest friend, so that I might splurge a bit.
No, Katie doesn't get a Firebolt! Those are bloody expensive! She has a Nimbus 2000; I would buy her a 2001, but the 2001 does badly in maneuvering. New flying armor will do. Those bludgers do a lot of damage if you don't have protection. In the movies only the keeper has a helmet, in real life everyone has to wear them, I say it again, bludgers are bloody hard.
What to get for the princesses? What do you buy for a girl who has the third floor on the east side? A book, coming out of the closet? A T-shirt with the text: 'I kissed a girl and I liked it' or the text, Let it Go! Let it Go! You got the ice princess link?
For Tracey? Hmm, a gift card, Sperm for one baby. Delivered naturally or in vitro. A great gift, as long as Lord Davis doesn't read that gift card.
Astoria gets a stack of Harry Potter books, all signed: for Astoria, my loyal Harem Wifey! Nah, Cyrus would pummel me. If I gave them jewelry, they would book a wedding planner. No, not them; they would elope. Astoria neither. I let her read five different rejection letters; at the last one, she started crying! If looks could kill, I would be seriously hurt by Uncle Cyrus.
For Sirius? Hmm, a dog collar and a leash. Oh, and some self-help books. It is ok to cry sometimes!
MoRon? I was two years friends with the walking garbage bin, a Cleansweep 320! The broom to have! Endorsed by the Chudley Cannons!
Next Yule, they will get some chocolate frogs. Buying presents is a pain.
Xxxxx
I wrote letters to Katie and Hermione to set a date for a visit. Luna did not have time. She was busy reporting on an ancient love story. People love those, like the ones from Jane Austen. Pride and snobbish, contra rude and insensitive. But… they loved each other.
I will meet Sirius a few days before his hearing on the twenty-sixth. For now, I am shopping with Wife No. 3, Aka Astoria. I stopped rejecting her; the poor thing got depressed in all the ways I told her that I did not want to marry her.
She is a sneaky one, though; she knows who holds the wallet and how to get into it. A real Slytherin. She made me spend more money in three hours than I did in my whole life!
She did help me find gifts for her parents and the Bi-girls. The Sperm Card got her veto. That was Sunday, the twentieth of December. Tomorrow is going to be my first Yule somethingy.
How do all those packages arrive at their destination on time, you ask? Well, I've happened to own a lot of house elves. Tapsy and her team were happy to play Santa Claus's elves… even the strangely dressed one. Their Magic can pull the person and their magic signature from my memory, and deliver their present at home. It's too bad it only works for Magic people.
Xxxxx
Astoria had not hit puberty yet. She woke me up with a kidney jump, panting from exhaustion. She ran all the way from her room to mine. "Happy Yule! Harry! Get up! We open presents before breakfast!" I groaned, "Why so ungodly early?"
Astoria was happy to explain: "Daphne and I negotiated with Mum and Dad until they caved in."
I groaned "ok, get of my back I am not your pony."
Astoria jumped a few times up and down, "Only if you promise to get out of bed, Harry."
In a few years, she will blush when she remembers this. She must be on a sugar high; she ran downstairs to wake her parents. I got out of bed and took a shower. I dressed in my new clothes and searched for the breakfast room. I asked an elf because I could not find the bloody thing.
I was alone for twenty minutes. I even asked the elf if this was the right room. One by one, they entered, Astoria dead last. I complained, "Hey, little princess, I waited half an hour before you showed up. Why did I have to wake up that early?"
Daphne chuckled, "Not a morning person, Potter? Get used to it. Happy Yule."
I responded, "Happy Yule to you, too, Daphne. What is on the schedule today?"
Daphne summed it up: " We exchange gifts, visit relatives, and exchange more gifts. We eat a lot and play with our presents. We gather around a bonfire in the evening and put our Yule log on it. We eat some more and go to sleep."
I groaned some more, "That sounds exhausting."
Astoria snorted, "That means you have obviously not experienced the joy of getting or giving presents. We will rectify that, so be prepared for it, Harry."
Daphne smiled sweetly, "Astoria is right, be prepared, Potter. Bonny! We are ready!"
A house elf appeared, Bonny no doubt, and snapped his fingers. Three big piles of gift-wrapped boxes appeared. Astoria was disappointed. "Harry got the biggest pile!"
Secretly, I was counting them. There are more than thirty-seven presents! Take that! Dudders! I smiled at Astoria, "Don't worry, little Princess; you can have some of mine."
Astoria shook her head, "Eeuw! I don't want boy stuff! Keep them to yourself, Harry!"
There is no pleasing that girl at all. When I opened the presents, I noticed that many came from the parents who wanted their daughter in my Harem.
I looked at Uncle Cyrus. "I imagine I have to return these gifts along with that letter?"
With a faint smile, Cyrus nodded, "That is expected of you, Harry. Keeping that present is as good as telling them you accept their proposal."
It reduced the pile of presents a lot. Astoria's pile won the competition. I won with the value of the presents. Sirius gave me a Firebolt again. Katie will be happy when she borrows it. My Firebolt is better. It's a limited edition and signed personally by the Boy Who Lived!
Xxxxx
That day passed. Thank Merlin. I am sitting in front of my account manager, with Uncle Cyrus next to me. Blooddagger presented a file: "By reporting a Class Seven cursed object in one of our Vaults, and it was proven it was there, 20% of the contents of that Vault was transferred to your account, Heir Potter. Gringotts confiscated the rest as a penalty and a fee for removing that cursed piece of soul."
He continued, "Lord Greengrass told me you knew other locations of that shredded soul and wants to hire a curse breaker team to retrieve and destroy it. Is that correct?"
I nodded, "The one I want your team for is in Little Hangleton, the last residence of the Gaunt family. An old shack. The Horcrux is protected with powerful curses. Another one is in an old building from a dark family. That house is loaded with snake ornaments. I also had a flash of a cave at the sea with a lake full of Zombies and an island in the middle. But I did not get a Horcrux feeling from it."
I tried to cover my bases, "I keep on dreaming about those things, I want to get rid of them."
Cyrus commented, "With the Tiara and the Cup gone, only the ring and the locket rest. Honestly, I want to get rid of those things as fast as possible. You Know Who returning back to life is the worst thing that can happen."
Blooddagger filled in some spots on a form and presented it to Lord Greengrass. "A standard form to hire a team of curse breakers for a week. Additional fees will be added when the job takes longer or the danger exceeds grade seven."
Lord Greengrass signed the contract. Blooddagger presented him with another file: "These are the auction results of the Basilisk parts. Gringotts spread them out in our branches to maximize the profits. We deducted the cost of organizing the auction and our cut of 10%. Sign here, please."
Uncle Cyrus looked at the numbers and signed the paper. He said, "I am impressed; it is more than I expected."
Blooddagger nodded, "It is a good investment. Those parts can be kept with stasis charms for more than a century. A thousand-year-old Basilisk is once in a lifetime. Everyone realizes this."
He looked at me and said, "With this, your fortune grew bigger than when your Father became Lord Potter."
Uncle Cyrus chuckled, "Harry is not done, Blooddagger, an Order of Merlin First Class is coming his way. That is a hundred thousand galleons ' worth of reward money from the Ministry. There is also a bonus for reporting an illegal Acromantula farm endangering Hogwarts students. The amount has to be defined. I demanded a percentage of the culling of that nest."
I asked, "Can I exchange the 20% from that Vault into pounds, and invest that money in the Muggle world?"
Blooddagger looked strangely at me, "You can, if Lord Greengrass agrees. But why?"
I shrugged, "It would be a good revenge to use that blood bigot's money in the Muggle world. So, you have connections with Muggle banks?"
Blooddagger nodded, "We cooperate with several banks worldwide."
I gave Lord Greengrass a piece of paper with company names: " I want to invest that money in these firms. Do I have your permission, Uncle Cyrus?"
Uncle Cyrus pretended that he knew those firms, passed the paper to Blooddagger, and nodded. "You may, Harry. You can invest more, depending on how well these investments earn."
"Then I want to invest those 20% from that vault, and half of what is in my Trust Vault," I told Blooddagger.
Yeah! Another trope done! Get rich in the Muggle world by using knowledge from the future… no doubt, the others will do the same. However, Katie and Luna will lack the money. Hermione will have to convince her father to invest that kind of money. Astoria? All she knows are the brands of bicycles.
Xxxxx
The day after, I visited Katie. Her parents were at work, so Hermione came to chaperone. My idea! I got two bone-crushing hugs from the girls. Hermione chuckled, "Dad was happier with that trunk than me, Harry. He finally could see his walls again. He was amazed at how many books it could hold."
Katie said, "My new gear is state of the art, Harry, thank you."
I grinned at her, "You will be thanking me more, honey. Guess what your favorite Stiff Problem Solver got for Yule from his Godfather?"
Katie froze up, "No bloody way! He got you a Firebolt? You have one already!"
I nodded, "Yes, I have. Can you guess who can borrow it for practice and games?"
Katie jumped into my arms, "You are the best Harem Lord EVER! Hermione, follow me to my room! I need to make sure Harry doesn't have a Stiff Problem!"
A bit puzzled, Hermione asked, "Don't you want some privacy for it, Katie?"
Katie shook her head, "The wards will alert my parents if I am alone in my room with a boy. Olly came visiting in my first year on the team. When Daddy barged into my room with his wand out, Olly was scared half to death."
Hermione smiled, "Lead the way, Katie. I happen to have a problem that needs scratching, too. I'll help you with yours if you help with mine."
Katie dragged me upstairs while she said to Hermione, "Honey, I told Harry I don't do threesomes, but a firebolt changes everything. I am going to eat you out as much as you want!"
I grinned at Hermione, "That will be another first, isn't it, Hermione? The first kiss from a girl on your pussy! Ask for a snog, that will be a first too."
When we entered her room, Katie turned to me and said, while she undressed me, "There will be a lot of firsts today, Harry. Hermione, strip! Nice and slow."
Blushing, Hermione started dancing and stripped her clothes off, one by one, until she was in her panties and socks. A wet spot was visible on her panties. Hermione pointed at Katie, "Now you, Katie."
I was watching it with a hard boner, already butt naked. I got behind Hermione and watched Katie strip. I hugged Hermione from behind, cupping her tits and brushing my lips on her neck and shoulders. Katie has been practicing. Sensually, she removed a piece of cloth, one after the other. Her blue panties matched Hermione's.
I hooked my fingers in Hermione's panty and pulled it down, and kissed her butt cheeks. "This panty is mine now, honey. Turn around so I can kiss that pussy."
Katie protested, "Hey! What about me?"
I went to her and faced her, slowly I pull her panty down, and faced a trimmed pussy on my knees. "Well, hello kitty, are you all wet for me?"
I let my tongue go over her clit, making her moan. Katie put one of her legs on my shoulder to give better access, "Sweet Morgana! I love that tongue of yours, Harry! Suck on my clit!"
After a bit, I turned to Hermione, "We can't forget about you, Honey! Lay on the bed Katie, Hermione, give your cunt to Katie. We are doing a threesome, Katie! Open up, one dude is going in!"
Katie could not think straight, Hermione put her snatch on her mouth, and she felt my Dude enter hers. She lost her virginity a long time ago, playing with toys. So that Dude could go all out. With her legs on my shoulders Katie was almost folded double, Hermione was looking fascinated at Dude working that pussy. Her hands went for Katie's tits and started fondling them.
Attacked from both side for minutes, Katie lost it and came screaming into Hermione's cunt. I am not ready to be a teenage dad, so I sprayed my load on Katie's belly.
I beckoned Hermione to me and said, "Come here, Hermione. Let me finish you. Katie has to recuperate."
Unsure, Hermione said, "I am not ready for That, Harry."
I shook my head, "Nope, honey, but you are ready to be eaten by me, are you?"
Hermione smiled, "I want that very much, Harry."
I took my time with Hermione, slow and gently I spoiled her pussy. When Katie cleaned my spunk away, she paid attention to Hermione's tits. "That was great Hermione, playing with my tits while Harry took my first time was mindblowing! My first time was a threesome! Harry, we will let her cum until she passes out!"
We did a lot of firsts in Katie's bed, including doggy style and sixty-nine. What can I say? It is great to be me! On unsteady legs, I left two very satisfied girls behind.
Xxxxx
Daphne narrowed her eyes when she saw me return from my visit. It was as if she had a sixth sense for it. She followed me into my office... I have one! She asked, "What have you been doing, Potter? I don't like that look on your face."
I shrugged, and showed Hermione's panties, "I did a lot of firsts, Daph. A lot of them."
Daphne blushed when she saw the panties, then she asked, "So Katie is one for your Harem?"
I put the panties away and shook my head, "No… Yes, maybe when she is done with Quidditch, this one is Hermione's. I guess she is one for the Harem. Why? Do you want a spot? I thought you were into Tracey?"
Daphne laughed bitterly, "That is not socially acceptable, Potter. Girls have to marry boys and have children. They say that is the law of nature."
I thought for a bit, "That is not true, Daph. "A lot of animals turn gay when their population grows too big and there is no room to expand. It is observed in wild rabbits and birds. Dolphins have a lot of gays too."
I saw that on a documentary once. Is it true? Who knows? I once saw a nature show from Disney about lemmings jumping off a cliff when there were too many. It came out that they staged that scene. There are not a lot of animals that want to commit suicide. Where was I? Ah, spouting useless trivia.
"Besides, both of you could marry the same boy. Polygamy is acceptable in the wizard world, isn't it?" I asked. I read that in the books about nobles and keeping the lines apart.
Daphne shook her head. "That is still not socially acceptable, Harry. Once they learned about it, they refused to let us stay together. I think in one or two more years, they will pressure our parents to break us up."
Personally, I have no experience with gays; Daphne and Tracey are the first. The Old Guy had some in his family, and they seemed to be good people. There are good and bad people everywhere. Petunia was a straight bitch.
I patted Daphne's back, "Both of you are welcome in my Harem, Daph. Now that everyone is convinced I have one, I might as well make it come true."
Daphne studied my face and asked, "You mean that Harry?"
I nodded, "We are in the memory club, remember? We even showered together. You have a nice ass, by the way."
Daphne pouted, "Only a nice ass, Potter?"
I chuckled, "Fishing for compliments, Daph? Well… You are every boy's wet dream, you have the perfect body, your tits are screaming to be sucked! My Dude is yearning to enter your pussy. Boys are masturbating while thinking of your body! I did last night!"
With a smile, Daphne nodded, "I knew it! You are thinking of me when you are playing with yourself. I am perfect! Thank you for reminding me of it, Harry."
Puzzled, I said, "Huh? I am missing something here."
Daphne came to me and hugged me, "Girls love to hear that they are pretty and sexy, Harry. Knowing that you are thinking of me when you are masturbating makes me feel special. I will keep your offer in mind. Tracey will love to hear it, too."
With a peck on my cheek, she left the room.
Xxxxx
Dad Granger watched me like a hawk when I was visiting Hermione. I had to explain my situation and status change in the Wizarding World. At last, he nodded. "We read all about it in the Daily Prophet. They tend to exaggerate the facts, so it is hard to distinguish the truth from the lies."
Then he had a dangerous look in his eyes: "What are your plans with my daughter, young man? Are you not moving too fast? A Harem? Is my little girl going to be one of them?"
Chills ran up and down my spine. I tried to answer as truthfully as I could. "Right now? Yes, she is one. If you ask me or her in four years, that answer could be different or the same. I don't know."
I tried to explain myself: " Hermione has been with me for over two years. She is my best friend, and I love her, so I naturally want her in my life."
Hermione did not help my case when she rushed into my arms and shouted, "You love me, Harry? I love you too!" and kissed me in front of her Father. I was glad it wasn't a snog; that would have killed me. The rest of that visit was a bit awkward. Mother was mildly amused, and Dad imagined a hundred different ways to hide my body.
Xxxxx
It was the twenty-sixth of December! Sirius time! Tapsy held my hand and followed Kreacher to Grimmauld's place. We landed in the elf pop spot at the door in the hallway. Sirius was looking nervously at me. "I can finally meet you, Harry. I've waited a long time for this."
I studied his face and asked, "Why didn't you ask for a trial all these years?"
Sirius laughed bitterly, "The guards did not relay it to the DMLE. Bellatrix and the others found it hilarious to pretend I was the next in command, calling me boss all the time. They refused to let me have visitors, too; that was probably Dumbledore forcing it."
I shrugged, "That is good enough for me. Hello, dog father." When we walked into the salon, I looked around, "Pardon my French, but this place is a dump. You have an elf, don't you? What happened?"
A curtain swooped open and a banshee voice screamed, "Who let this filth into my home! Begone you filthy halfbreed! There is no room for you in this Noble home!"
I turned to that painting, "My Home? Your home is in a coffin, old hag! Preferably buried a hundred yards deep."
I looked around and mocked, "Noble home? Are you proud of this ruin? Is this an example of what Purebloods stand for? You were probably one of Voldemort's bitches. He did fuck you over, didn't he? The son of a Muggle boy and Merope, a Gaunt squib. Yes Voldemort fucked you sideways, and you begged for more."
The hag was speechless. I turned to Sirius, "Tapsy will have enough volunteers to clean this place. Can I ask her? This place feels unfriendly."
Sirius closed the drapes again. "Feel free to call her, Harry. Have you been to Potter Manor?"
I shook my head, not yet. "I will after your hearing. Hmm, this feeling… Hey! Elf of House Black! Come here!"
When he did not come, Sirius ordered Kreacher to come. Kreacher popped in, "What does filthy halfblood want from Kreacher? Poor mistress would be ashamed."
"Well, the filthy half blood wanted to ask the lazy elf a few questions. And looking at this dump, you do a great job shaming House Black yourself. Do you still know how to work? Do you like to sit on your lazy ass and do nothing? Are you still a proper House elf?"
That shut him up. Calling them lazy is the worst insult for an elf, and I rubbed it into his face. I asked my million galleon question, "Elf, this house feels evil to me. Is there a vile thing here that belonged to Voldemort? I have seen some before, and it feels like one is here. How did you get it here?"
That opened the floodgates; Kreacher told us everything about Reggy. At the end, he presented the locket."
I grinned at Sirius, "Hah! I have them all! Kreacher, quill and parchment, please!"
I explained to Sirius, "We have been hunting for those vile things. This is the last one. Gringotts found the ring yesterday. Thank you, Kreacher… Take this note to Blooddagger, and give the locket to him when he tells you to bring it. He will destroy the evil in it."
Kreacher popped away. Sirius looked at me, "You are not a child, Harry."
I shook my head, "Nope, Petunia made sure of that. I had to grow up fast, Sirius. I would have been an obscuros if I did not grow up fast enough. That is what the healers told me at St Mungo's."
Kreacher popped in, and back out with the locket. I called Tapsy, "Tapsy, can you ask volunteers to clean this house? You remember Sirius, don't you?"
Tapsy looked Sirius up and down. "Tapsy remembers Dogboy. Tapsy could not find Master Harry and Dogboy. Master Harry has to come home soon."
Tapsy looked around. "This place is not fit for Master Harry."
Tapsy snapped her fingers, and six elves popped in. They looked in each other's eyes and started snapping their fingers. With each snap, the place got cleaner. When Kreacher popped back from Gringotts, all the elves stopped and silently stared at him. Even I felt sorry for Kreacher. That silent disapproval hurt him more than a thousand insults could do.
"So," broke Sirius the silence, "A Harem? Who is in it?"
11 More tropes, a lot of them!
That woke the elves from their cold stares and returned them to snapping their fingers. I answered, "At the moment, Luna Lovegood and Hermione Granger. After your Yule present to me, Katie Bell will be a candidate too."
Sirius was confused. He asked, "How can my giving you a Firebolt get that girl into your Harem, Harry?"
I grinned and explained, "Because I bought one a few weeks ago, and guess who in our team can borrow my second Firebolt? You got it."
Sirius understood, he chuckled, and wiped an imaginary teardrop, "I am so proud! Three girls, and you are not even fourteen years old."
I shook my head and pointed my finger at him. "Not one word to another person about this, Sirius! But there are probably going to be six wives. Astoria Greengrass, her sister Daphne, and Tracey Davis are thinking about it."
Sirius laughed, "There is no way that will happen, Harry. Girls usually don't like to share their boyfriend or husband, and you will marry six of them? Why the Greengrass sisters?"
I glared at him, "I'll tell you if you swear not to say a word about it to someone else! Not even the girls in question! In fact, I am not telling you. I can not betray their trust in me. They are my friends, and I like them."
Sirius got serious, "Then keep it for yourself, Harry, I won't pry to find out. Good friends are hard to come by. So... Six?"
I shrugged, "Once the rumor started that I was going to have a Harem, more than a dozen parents offered their daughters for a spot. There is a twin in it too. I have been practicing writing rejection letters for weeks. I had to start over after they sent me presents for Yule. I hope I can finish it before the year's end."
Then I remembered something: "Sirius, you're hearing the day after tomorrow, what is it about? You were acquitted weeks ago."
Sirius's face darkened, "I have a score to settle with the Ministry, Harry. They threw me, an Auror, in Azkaban without questioning or a trial. What is worse, someone got me a potion to make me infertile. That is bloody line theft! I have all the names of the guards that bullied me in there. They will all face a line theft trial if they don't provide me with the name of the one responsible."
I asked, "Did they officially fire you when they threw you in Azkaban? You could still be on active duty. That is mutilating an Auror in function. Can that potion be reversed?"
Sirius shook his head, "Nope, it is final. They tried everything in St Mungos." he laughed sadly, "I would probably be a shitty parent anyway. Azkaban is not a happy place, Harry."
Sirius straightened up, "This will be brought up at the hearing, too. I am making you my Heir Primary, Harry. Your Grandmother was my Grandfather's older sister. First, I wanted to ask you to let me blood adopt you, to strengthen the claim for the Lordship."
I asked, to be sure, "Why is a blood adoption needed?"
"The Malfoy brat would have an equal or a bit stronger claim for it, if they take it before the Wizengamot," was his answer.
I shrugged, "I have no problem with a blood adoption, Sirius. But even when the Malfoys take it to court, you can demand an oath on their Magic that they are not directly or indirectly responsible for that potion. If they refuse the oath, you can nail them down for line theft."
Sirius studied my face, "You are not a child anymore, Harry."
I clarified, "Those are my etiquette and Noble customs lessons from Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis that made me say it, Sirius. We often took your situation as an example to discuss what could be done in your favor. Your Auror job was discussed that way."
I frowned, "What about those contracts waiting for Heir Black, Sirius? I heard those are nasty ones."
Sirius grinned, "They are nasty for the other side, Harry."
I shook my head, "And they will love me for it, no doubt. Who are the girls in those contracts?"
"The Carrow twins," answered Sirius, "Originally, it would have been me with Alecta, but when I ran away from home, it changed to Regulus. The penalties were activated when Alecta got pregnant with her twins by her twin brother. Giving a green hat to a Black is not advisable."
Sirius said, "Those twins will be your concubines, Harry. That contract is Ironclad. There is no way around it. Grandpa could be very vindictive. They are one year older than you."
I sat down and sighed, "Sirius, have you ever felt you are in a story? A children's book about Harry Potter and his shitty life? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban?"
I had to drop that question to see his reaction… Nope, the lights are still out upstairs. Sirius shook his head. "That would have been a terrible story, Harry. It's not fit for children at all. I saw your health file. What writer would let that kind of abuse happen in a children's story?"
A wealthy one, I can tell you! She is loaded! … … if this is her story and that world is real. That means I will stop existing when she writes: The End. No, I changed the outcome of the third book… I am in a Fan Fiction! I hope I am in a Harem sto… it is one!
I sighed, "You are right, no sane writer would let a child molester be the headmaster in a Magic school. I mean, Muggle candy as a password to get in? A bowl of lemon drops on his desk? The old benevolent Grandpa act… How more stereotyping can you get? This screams child abuse from a mile away!"
I looked at Sirius. "A tip for you, Sirius: Subscribe to the Quibbler. Luna is investigating some leads on Dumbledore's past."
Sirius nodded, "I am. From the moment I found out, it was your interview that set everything in motion. Some of the articles are hilarious until you get the hidden messages."
I changed the subject to, "When will that blood adoption take place? Or doesn't Uncle Cyrus have to give permission for it?"
Sirius looked at me with pity. "Seriously? What Lord would refuse his ward to become a Lord of a Most Ancient and Most Noble House? I bet he is lining one of his daughters up to be the next Lady Black… You got them hooked already!"
I nodded, "We discussed all options during our Noble custom's tutoring. Not to become the Lord but to start a cadet line if I were a Black Heir. Daphne and Tracey would be ideal for it. Or Astoria."
Great, one more trope in this nightmare. Sirius got us back on track. "Those are worries for later, Harry. I planned to do the Blood Adoption tomorrow at Gringotts. It changes your Magic signature slightly and has to be recorded with witnesses from the Ministry and Gringotts, especially your account manager."
Xxxxx
That evening, I visited Daphne and Tracey in their room and asked Astoria to be there. I opened with, "Tomorrow Sirius Black will blood adopt me and make me Heir Primary. They slipped him an infertility potion in Azkaban." I looked at them and dropped my bomb. "That means I need a Lady Black, and you are my first choice. Do I have volunteers?"
""Me!"" All three raised their hands. Daphne frowned and asked, "What about those nasty contracts you spoke about, Harry?"
I replied, "The Carrow sisters. Mommy Alecta bumped ugly with her twin brother, and Hestia and Flora are results of that. She was supposed to marry Regulus Black. Arcturus activated the clauses in the original contract. They are going to be Concubines with no chance of being promoted to Consort or Wife. Their offspring will never be electable to be Lord Black."
Daphne swore, "That is why they are so gloomy all the time. They are degraded to nothing more than bed toys."
Tracey added, "That is also why they avoided Malfoy. They thought he was going to be the next Lord Black. That is what the blood adoption is for, isn't it?"
I confirmed it. "That is right. "My Grandmother was Lord Black's older sister, so that makes my claim equal to Draco's, who is from a branch family. The blood adoption creates a bigger claim." I grinned when I continued, "We would let the Malfoys swear an oath that they are not directly or indirectly responsible for that potion. I bet a thousand galleons they had a hand in it."
Tracey said, "Harry, before you do a blood adoption, ask for an inheritance blood test. A blood adoption can mess up the results."
Astoria cheered, "Yes! Do that! Daphne, you can have Black with Tracey. I will take Slytherin! Harry, I bet you are the Heir of Slytherin! I can be Lady Slytherin!"
I groaned, "That is completely possible. Voldemort was the last offspring of House Gaunt. House Gaunt was the last line of Slytherin. That was why he called himself the Heir of Slytherin."
I pointed my finger at Astoria, "Not one word to anyone, Missy Blabbermouth! Wait for the result of that blood test. Please don't sell the Dragon hide until you have skinned it. For all I know, I could be just a Potter."
Astoria stubbornly claimed, "First Dibs on Slytherin, Harry!"
Tracey giggled, "Then First Dibs on Black, Harry. Daphne has to keep her name to produce little Greengrasses. She will do fine as Consort Black."
OK… that is another trope from Fan Fiction. Five, not counting Luna, Hermione, or Katie. That brings the tally to seven or eight. I can afford three. Astoria is high maintenance, so are Daphne and Tracey. To clean this place, a house elf would snap his fingers until they bled. As I said, this place is huge! I have yet to visit my mansion.
After discussing tomorrow's procedures for a few hours, I stood up and said, "We will know more tomorrow. I am off to bed. Ladies, good night."
Xxxxx
What a surprise! Fudge and Umbitch are the Ministry officials! Madam Bones was there too, and Lord Abbot, as neutral witnesses. Uncle Cyrus and Aunt Veronica as my guardians, and Sirius Black as my future Blood father. Two ancient Goblins and Granny are here to witness the Goblin side.
The Blood Adoption had to be done in Blooddagger's office. Before we started, I asked, "Is it possible to do an inheritance test before the blood adoption?"
Umbridge scoffed, "There is no need for that, what can a half breed get. Stop wasting our time, child."
What the fuck? I have to get that hag out of here. I already hate her even though I did not have one lesson from her. I snapped at her, "Nobody is stopping you from leaving here, old woman! Besides, by your looks, I bet you must be nothing more than the daughter of a muggleborn janitor. So shut up or get out!"
Fudge sputtered, "Now see here, Harry, Dolores is a highly valued member of my office, my Undersecretary. She is a proper pureblood."
I mocked him, "Oh really? I researched her, and she is the daughter of a Muggleborn janitor. Moreover, her mother is a Muggle. That makes her a muggleborn, doesn't it? She is just good at hiding it. What did you do to your parents, Miss Umbridge?"
I bet Goblins do not like this hag either. Blooddagger offered, "We can check our records. The wages of the Ministry workers are deposited in their Vaults. It is easy to find out if there was an Umbridge Janitor."
Red hot fuming, Umbridge turned around and left, "I won't stay here any longer to be insulted by a half blood child."
I called after her, "As a Muggle-born, you should be honored that a half-blood wants to talk to you, Miss Umbridge!"
When she left, I grinned, "That was so satisfying, everyone says she is a worse blood bigot than the Death Eaters were... Did you say she is your undersecretary, Minister Fudge? Do you support the Death Eater movement? Are you one of the Imperio club? Lord Malfoy took a long vacation because he meddled with one of Voldemort's trinkets. The one that made me kill a Basilisk."
Fudge protested, "Impossible! Lucius is an upstanding member of our society! He donated a lot to charities. Those are baseless rumors, Mr. Potter!"
I shrugged, "If you say so. We are wasting time, inheritance test first, please?"
Sirius stood beside me with a big grin, letting me bash Fudge into submission, which was hilarious. Blooddagger called a runner and ordered something in Gobbelydobelly. A few minutes later, two old Goblins entered with a small bowl, a stack of parchment, a Quill, a dangerous-looking knife, and a potion.
Blooddagger told me, "As your account manager, I know what Lordships you can claim from the Potter line. Your mother never did the test."
They made me stand in a pentagram while those two old goblins did a strange dance around me. Then they stopped. One took my hand while the other stabbed it! The old Goblin was mildly surprised that I did not scream. He said, "Fill the vial to the brim. The wound will heal when it is done."
Did you ever try to fill a small vial with your blood? It dripped at three places! I had to twist and turn to get it into the vial. Once done, the old goblin poured it down into the bowl. He stirred the potion to mix it with my blood. A few waves with his dagger connected me to the bowl, and the bowl to the Quill.
The two old Goblins started to chant and dance again until the Quill began to draw. For ten minutes, the quill was drawing picture after picture. I bet the printer guys got their idea of a printer from here.
While the quill was busy, Uncle Cyrus explained what it was doing. "It is a Goblin ritual, so instead of writing the names in gobbledegook, the Quill draws symbols, for a member of the House, an Heir of a House, an Heir Primary, or a Lord of a House. Then it will draw the Coat of Arms of the House you belong to."
He pointed to the Potter Coat of Arms: "House Potter is obvious. Lord Black made you his Heir. From what I heard about your account manager, you have a few more claims. Some of your father did not claim. That is an option, too. You can let them be dormant until one of your children wants to claim them."
When the quill stopped, two parchments were filled. They are big drawings. Blooddagger studied the parchments, then gave them to Uncle Cyrus, who frowned. "Blooddagger, what does a sword crossed with a wand mean?"
Blooddagger answered with a big grin, "That, Lord Greengrass, means by right of conquest. Heir Potter won two Houses by right of conquest. House Gaunt and House Slytherin. On the date of 31 October 1981."
Fudge almost shouted, "31 October 81? That is the day You Know Who died!"
Uncle Cyrus nodded, "And Harry is the new head of those Houses. Hmm, also the head of House Potter, Heir Primary of House Black. Blooddagger? What is that symbol next to Griffindor? Some kind of sword and shield."
Blooddagger answered, "Blood and Valor. The Lordship of Griffindor can only be claimed for one generation if you prove your courage. Possessing the sword proves it. Where did you put that sword, Heir Potter?"
"I don't know," I said, "Dumbledore took it away."
"We will look into that later, said Uncle Cyrus. The last one is House Peverell."
Blooddagger commented, "That is strange, James Potter was only an Heir for it. Something must have changed."
I asked, "This test proves that I am Heir Primary of House Black, witnessed by the Ministry, neutral witnesses, and Goblin witnesses. Is the Blood adoption still needed?"
Blooddagger interrupted, "We will start with the rings; six of them. I have them ordered to bring them here. The Potter ring is here, and Lord Black brought the House Black ring."
I asked, "Do I have to wear them all? There are too many of them! How can I write or cast spells with all of them on my fingers?"
Madam Bones spoke up: "They will merge into one, Heir Potter. There is no more need for a blood adoption. As the Director of the DMLE, I have witnessed your inheritance blood test. Your claim is valid."
I looked at Sirius and offered, "I would not mind being blood adopted, Sirius, but I am willing to call you my father even without it."
Sirius had tears in his eyes and shook his head. "That is enough for me, Harry. I would not dare to face James in the afterlife if I asked you to go through with the blood adoption. Being my Heir and Godson is enough for me."
Blooddagger presented a contract to the witnesses. "Every witness has to study the inheritance test and sign here to confirm the result. Harry James Potter is Heir Primary for the Houses Potter, Black, Griffindor, Peverell, Slytherin, and House Gaunt. Minister Fudge, if you will."
With a forced smile, Fudge had to sign the contract, a future Lord of Six Houses is not one to piss off, and that was what Dolores did. Then he defended Malfoy to that kid, who clearly is not a fan of Lucius. Fudge began to worry about his reelection. Something told him his chances went down. The poor man had to stay and see all the witnesses study and sign the parchment.
Sirius smiled at Fudge, "I'll see you tomorrow at the hearing, Cornelius. If I recall, you got an Order of Merlin Third Class for arresting me. We will discuss that tomorrow too. Don't be late, Cornelius."
Fudge paled when he heard Sirius question his Order, and almost ran out of the room. Sirius chuckled evilly, "We will discuss a lot of things tomorrow. You can be sure of that."
When I donned all the rings into two parts. I wanted to show off the Black ring. Sirius told Uncle Cyrus, "That leaves me with informing you of a Concubine contract between Heir Black and the twins of House Carrow. An unbreakable contract from the time Regulus was betrothed to Alecta."
Uncle Cyrus connected the dots, "Ah, I understand. We will discuss this at our home."
I raised my hand and warned Uncle Cyrus, "You must know that Astoria called First Dibs on House Slytherin, and Tracey called First Dibs on House Black with Daphne as Consort. The decision is yours and Sirius's, of course."
Uncle Cyrus frowned, "What in Merlin's name does the game Gibstones have to do with… They claimed it? Why call it First Dibs?"
I shrugged, "They must have heard it from me when we talked about Muggle customs and compared them with wizarding ones."
Uncle Cyrus shook his head. "It is improper for me to betroth my daughters to you, Harry. I am your Guardian. This can be considered a Line theft attempt. No matter how you look at it, our reputation will be damaged."
Madam Bones commented, "That is true, Heir Potter. That needs to be handled with the utmost care. I do not know about First Dibs, but Lord Abbot and I want to suggest our Hannah and Susan for House Peverell. Just like Daphne needs to keep her last Name, my Susan needs to keep hers, as the last Heir of House Bones."
Hmm? Those two? Last year, they ran away from me, almost screaming, every time they met me in the hallways. It's too bad Astoria called First Dibs, or I would make them Lady and Consort Slytherin. That would teach those bitches!
I have to defuse this. I asked, "Did you ask what their plans are? I saw Miss Abbot checking Neville Longbottom out a few times. They both love Herbology, and I saw them discuss it several times. Neville and I are good friends, so I don't want to take a good match away from him."
Take that! Who said I suck at refusing betrothal offers? Oh fuck! By the look on their faces, Neville will have a double contract slapped on his ass before New Year. Well, he hooked up with Hannah in the books. I might as well stick Bones on him too. He can handle it… I hope.
Lord Abbot smiled at me, "You are right, Heir Potter. These matters must be discussed with our daughters first to hear their opinion."
Madam Bones frowned, "We heard that Heir Longbottom's Magic is weak. We need a strong Wizard to continue our line. Heir Potter, I am afraid Heir Longbottom is not suitable."
I defended Neville: "Heir Longbottom is as strong at Magic as I, Madam Bones. That old hag is forcing him to use his father's wand and belittling him all the time by comparing him to his father."
They did not know that by the look on their faces. I added, "That grand Uncle Algy did not help Neville gain confidence. He told me once that Algy dropped him from a pier into the sea to trigger accidental Magic, and succeeded when he dropped Neville out of a second-story high window. I call that two murder attempts. Instead of beating the crap out of that uncle, they celebrated Neville's accidental Magic when he bounced down the front yard."
I looked at Uncle Cyrus and asked, "Is it possible to give Asylum to Neville too?"
Madam Bones shook her head. "That is not needed. Heir Potter, Jacob, and I will have words with Augusta about how she is raising her Grandson. Algy will be called into the DMLE to be questioned on his motives regarding Heir Longbottom."
She explained, "The older generation has a different view of acting with their relatives. We have to find out if he did that with evil intentions."
I nodded, and asked, "A different view, like drownings Squibs? We will bury him if he does not bounce? I see, he is not evil at all, just a concerned Uncle."
That comment made her blush. Refusing Neville because he is a near Squib puts her in the same category as Algy, and she knows I put her there. I gave it a last push: "Did you know that there is a prophecy about Voldemort and me? A prophecy that could have been about Neville, too? I am betting a thousand Galleons that Dumbledore bound Neville's Magic like he did for me."
Lord Abbot and Madam Bones looked at eachother and left. Aunty Veronica sighed and asked, "Do you have more surprises for us, Harry?"
Should I? I have collected almost all of the tropes from Fan Fiction, a huge Harem, Lordships from everywhere, The Horcruxes done, Dumbledore out of his jobs… Hmm, one more trope.
I grinned at Uncle Cyrus, "I have a huge one, Uncle Cyrus! One, your oldest Daughter pointed out to me. Do you want to hear it?"
Uncle Cyrus looked at Sirius and said, "I'm almost afraid to say yes. What do you think, Sirius?"