12 Alby was a bad boy!
Uncle Cyrus nodded, "Daphne's mind is as sharp as a knife. We'd better hear what it is now before that secret blows up in our faces. Spill it, Harry."
I nodded, "I already described my fight against Quirrell in our first year. I succeeded in getting the philosopher's stone out of the Mirror of Erised and defeated Quirrell by putting my hands on his face. That killed him, and Voldemort's Ghost flew through me. That made me pass out."
I came to the point when I saw they did not get it. "Dumbledore told me the stone got destroyed, but Daphne argued that it was impossible to destroy a stone in my pocket by putting hands on another man's face and passing out. I believe her when she said that Dumbledore kept that stone for himself. He will be happy to live forever once the Flamels are dead. He probably will claim he made one for himself."
I turned to Blooddagger and told him, "The vault that had been robbed in 91 was done by Quirrell. The philosophers stone was in there. Hagrid took the stone out of that vault the same day."
Uncle Cyrus swore, "That means Dumbledore is murdering or has already killed the Flamels. This is a new low, even for Dumbledore. I have to inform the French director of law enforcement. Let's hope they are still alive."
Blooddagger frowned, then his face lit up. "That gives Gringotts a reason to audit and inspect all the Vaults Dumbledore had access to. The Flamels were forbidden by treaty to keep that stone out of Gringott's vaults. Now that there is valid proof that Dumbledore hid the stone in our vaults once, he could have hidden it here again.
He grinned at me, "Heir Potter, we need that memory of Hagrid removing the stone from that vault. They can not claim it is a polyjuice setup. Half giants can not be used for polyjuice."
I chuckled, "Neither are cats."
Uncle Cyrus asked, "That sounded specific, Harry, do you care to elaborate?"
I told them about our polyjuice adventure last year, Hermione brewing that potion and using a cat's hair by mistake. Sirius and Cyrus looked at eachother. Sirius pointed at Cyrus, "You tell him."
Cyrus sighed, "Harry, that is no doubt another one of Dumbledore's setups. Brewing a potion in Myrtle's bathroom for a month? Who do you think is cleaning the bathrooms every other day? Don't you think they report someone brewing a potion in a booth beside Myrtle's? Besides, Polyjuice is hard to brew in a proper potion room. There is no way Miss Granger could have succeeded in brewing that potion in a toilet booth."
Sirius patted my back, "That is Dumbledore's way of having a chain around your necks. You brewed an illegal potion, broke into Slytherin's common room, and questioned a Heir. Proof, you ask? Miss Granger as a catgirl for two weeks in the Hospital wing."
Sirius was not finished, "I am 100% convinced that he provided the polyjuice himself and confounded you three to think that Miss Granger brewed it herself. I bet he gave that cat hair to her. That friendly headmaster swept your crimes under the rug. That way, you began to rely on him to cover for you."
OK… it is not pleasant when someone tells you that you are an idiot… and they are right to do so. That polyjuice incident was proved by Catmione.. Hermicat… Mionycat and Dumbledore could use that as the stick behind the door, ready to be used when necessary. I have to prove I am not a total idiot… Ah! I got one!
I asked, "Did you get that Horcrux from that old shack?"
Blooddagger nodded, "We did, it was the Gaunt lord's ring. The Horcrux is removed. Why do you ask?"
I pointed at my inheritance blood test, "You said my Father was only an Heir of Peverell, not the Heir Primary. The only thing that I can think changed is the right of conquest. I bet the Gaunts have a link to Peverell like the Potters. Now that the Gaunts are gone, I am the only Heir."
Tadaa! I dazzled the natives with solid logic! Spock would be proud of me! I still suck at that Vulcan greeting, though. I bet they glued their pinky to their ring finger to get that V. Where was I? Ah! Self-glorification, a nasty habit. Only presidents are allowed to do that.
Blooddagger told us, "The Gaunt Vault was closed last century in 1830 when Lord Gaunt had to pay for the damages he caused when he attacked the train on the first railroad between Manchester and Liverpool. It bankrupted them. We put the ring in your main Vault, Heir Potter."
Hah! I got a bit of respect back. Cyrus stood up, "We'll discuss the rest at my house, Sirius."
Xxxxx
At Greengrass Mansion, Sirius and both adult Greengrasses went into the office, while I had to explain it to the girls in Daphne's salon. "Contracting you girls can be considered line theft, because Uncle Cyrus has to sign the contracts in my name. They are discussing that right now."
Daphne shrugged, "Is that all? They have to switch Guardian ship to Black or another neutral lord. See? Problem solved. What did that inheritance test reveal, Harry?"
I named them one by one: Potter, Black, Slytherin, Gaunt, Peverell, and Griffindor. However, Griffindor is only for one generation. It has to be proved by an act of valor, killing a Basilisk, for example."
Tracey summed it up, "Hermione for Potter, Black is mine, Consort Black is for Daphne, Astoria can have Slytherin, Luna for Peverell? No, she has to keep her line. Katie can have it with Luna as Consort. That leaves Gaunt and Griffindor. Do you want a Consort, Astoria?"
Astoria sputtered, "Our bed is overcrowded as it is, Tracey! Not everyone is drooling at the thought of shagging all those girls. Harry, Daphne, and you are the drooling ones."
I said, "I can let those houses lie dormant for one of my children or merge them into Potter."
Astoria thought for a bit and asked, "Harry? What assets does Slytherin have? Am I going to be poor? If so, then I want Potter. He is rich."
I patted her back, "Future knowledge, Missy Astoria! We are going to be filthy rich. I have already invested the reward of reporting a Class seven cursed artifact into the Muggle world. 20% from Bellatrix Vaults. That bitch had a side job other than killing and torture. She robbed her victims too." Once those investments increase in value, Blooddagger will invest half of my fortune into the stock market."
I grinned at Tracey, "I told you I will help you make your firstborn, Tracey. I bet I will like that very much."
Tracey shook her head, "Not until I have a ring on my finger, Potter. How are you going to manage your Harem? Including the Carrow twins, who are eight confirmed girls. Once a week? You could take Daphne and me on the same night."
I shrugged, "Honestly? I don't think that far ahead. It is still possible for me to wake up from a nightmare. But if I have to answer that… one big bed, Tracey. So I can fuck all of you every night… and die a year later as a tired, but happy man."
Xxxxx
Luna timed it! The Quibbler came out with a thrilling story about Dumbledore's past on the morning of the Wizengamot meeting. His love affair with Bagshot's Nephew Gellert was described in all rainbow colors. The how and why Ariana became an Obscuros and Dumbledore's father ended up in Azkaban was reported in detail. The sloppy care and neglect of Ariana by Dumbledore, who was floating on a pink cloud with his Gelly took a quarter of a page.
Then the return from Hogwarts of his Brother Abersford and his accusations of neglect of their sister, and the fight that led to Ariana's death as a result. The death of Ariana was analyzed by that lovely reporter.
Luna wrote:
From that day on, Dumbledore preached forgiveness and gave criminals second chances. Would someone preach forgiveness to the man when he saw his sister murdered by him before his own eyes? No, I ask you to use logic. Would he forgive Grindelwald for killing his sister? Would he hide in Hogwarts and let Grindelwald burn Europe down?
Why did he go after Grindelwald in 45 when he was declared a dark lord decades before that? All signs point to Dumbledore as the one who fired the curse that killed his sister.
He refused to let the Aurors use deadly force against the Death Eaters, and he was one of the driving forces behind letting known Death Eaters run free with the excuse that "I was under the Imperio curse."
All of this to justify his crimes. He thinks that feeling guilty is punishment enough. An oops, I did not mean to do that, is enough to walk free. With that mindset, he caused a lot of good people to die by letting the criminals walk free.
All of this points to a mentally unstable criminal who justifies his crimes to be for the Greater Good of the people.
This reporter investigated the Epic Duel between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, a duel nobody witnessed. We discovered that Grindelwald is still alive in a tower at Nurmengard under a fidelius. Dumbledore could not kill the love of his life, and we all had to suffer for it.
Reporting for the Quibbler,
Luna Lovegood.
Xxxxx
The wizengamot opened with that hot topic, all of Dumbledore's actions were questioned. Madam Bones said, "We contacted the International Aurors of the ICW to investigate the possibility of a tower being under a fidelius. There are curse breakers that can find and break fidelius when they know where to look. We will know more in a week or two."
She continued, "At this moment, a team of Aurors is taking Bathilda Bagshot's statement to verify that article in the Quibbler."
She turned to the Chief Warlock and said, "I suggest we go to the next topic until that team returns."
The Chief Warlock looked through his papers. "Very well. Next is Sirius Black versus the Ministry. Lord Black, please make your statement."
Sirius took the stand: "Fellow peers of the Wizengamot! While I was locked up, innocent, some of the guards had put an infertility potion in my food! St Mungo's confirmed that it is irreversible. The only two who could profit from that are my two heirs: one Draco Malfoy and one Harry Potter. I doubt Harry could have done it; he was living in a cupboard under the stairs. That leaves House Malfoy as the prime suspects."
Sirius turned to Fudge, "The fact that Lucius Malfoy and Minister Fudge are close friends. I even heard he has his own comfy chair in the Minister's office. It makes me believe that it was done with the Ministry's approval. Or dare I say, with Fudge's approval. I want the name of the Guard that poisoned me, or I will put the crime on the Ministry."
Madam Bones asked to be heard: "The DMLE investigated the accusation. Going on the period St Mungo guesses the potion was administered, one of Azkaban's guards got killed in a bar fight in Knockturn Alley. With this new information, we fear that it was to silence a loose end."
She turned to Sirius, "But there is no way to confirm it was related, Lord Black. The Guards you named are willing to swear an oath on their Magic that they did not put any potion in your food or drinks, nor administered it directly. The Ministry compensated you for the years you spent in Azkaban. I fear you will have to wait until we find Lord Malfoy to bring him in for questioning."
Sirius was fuming, even though he knew nothing would come from it. He shall have his pound of flesh, however. "Then there is the brave Ministry worker from the Department of Magical Accidents who got an Order of Merlin Third Class for heroically stunning me in the back and obliviating all the witnesses even before the Aurors arrived. A fun fact is that Lucius Malfoy nominated dear Fudge for it. It started his political career."
Sirius glared at Fudge, "That, Minister Fudge, could be seen as line theft, don't you think so? Why else would you station that many Dementors at Hogwarts? Chief Warlock, I demand that the Orders of Merlin from three persons be revoked: the one from Fudge, the one from Pettigrew, and the one from Lockhart. The last three Orders of Merlin were given to frauds."
When the commotion was silenced, Sirius called out loud, "I will not have my Godson's Order of Merlin First Class for killing a Basilisk being tarnished by those three frauds. That would be spitting on my Godson's accomplishment! I would rather have my Godson call in all those life debts than accept a tainted Order of Merlin First Class!"
Nicely done, Sirius! I was watching the drama from the visitors' stand next to Luna. I whispered to Luna, "I already cashed in on your debt, honey. You did more for me than all the grown-ups put together."
Luna whispered back, "Letting you play with my boobs is not cashing in, Harry. That is having fun."
I whispered back, "One does not exclude the other, Love. Take your pick, Lady or Consort Peverell, Gaunt, or Griffindor. Those spots are open for you to take. Or we could stay friends and you chase after that Charmander guy."
Luna frowned, "Peverell? Did you get the wand?"
I shrugged, "Nope. It just so happened that I am the last Heir alive. I have the ring in my vault."
"I'll talk to Daddy, Harry. It will probably be Consort Peverell. Maybe Daddy will merge Lovegood with Peverell, he is a bit obsessed with it."
That would solve a headache, Luna for Peverell and Katie for Gaunt… she will demand Griffindor, no doubt about that. Ah? While Luna and I were whispering, the three Orders were revoked. Make room for the Order of Merlin FIRST Class!
First is the buildup, a public showing of my fight. The bastards cut Tom's part out of it, commenting that it contained State secrets. It still was prime entertainment. By the look on their faces, some of the older Lords must have recognized Tom hissing at Basi. The vote was unanimous; even Fudge voted for me.
The ceremony will be held during Easter, or, as the Pagans say, the Festival of Pasch, to worship the Goddess Eostre… Strangely, those names sound almost the same... It must be a coincidence. We Christians don't plagiarize… much.
Sirius was not done yet, his next bomb was to name me Heir Primary Black. The dark faction rioted. Sirius stopped them when he roared, "It is up to Lord Black who decides the next Lord! Not some upstart Nobles that bought their seats here! And certainly no Imperio'd Death Eaters! Gringotts Inheritance blood test confirmed it in front of witnesses. Now, who among you thinks he has the right to appoint a different Heir Black?"
That shut everyone up. Protesting about losing the house, Black from the Dark Faction, is one thing; protesting against the Boy Who Lived, the newly minted Order of Merlin First class, was on another level. Grumbling, they sat back down.
Sirius looked around and revealed his last surprise. "To secure the future of House Black, I betrothed my Heir to Heiress Davis. Also, due to an agreement between House Davis and House Greengrass, Heiress Primary Greengrass will be Consort Black, to keep her line. In turn, to prevent abusing his station, Lord Greengrass agreed to transfer the Guardianship of my Godson to a neutral party. Meaning Lord Abbot."
Sirius held his hands up to stop the yelling. "All this was discussed with the children first. They agreed and are happy with the betrothal. Lords, Ladies, we are not asking for permission, this is us informing you of a done deal."
Luna nudged my arm, "You move fast, Heir Black. Congratulations. Make sure I get to interview your fiancés first."
I grinned and told her, "As long as you keep our bedtime secrets out of your paper, honey."
Xxxxx
Neville is Lord Greengrass's new ward! After questioning Algy and the Hag about how they treated Neville, Algy is facing Azkaban time, and the Hag lost the Regency over House Longbottom. Uncle Cyrus dropped Neville off at St Mungo's for a complete check-up.
Behold the second puppet of Dumbledore! Neville the Spare! 80% core bound, and mind whammed to the extreme. How he could still be a Herbology prodigy is a miracle! Augusta got her ears waxed by all the former allies. She has an excuse, though. She was a battle witch, and analyzing spells for Alchemy potions was not her forte.
I had to move into my mansion. Sleeping under the same roof as my fiancée is not done, even when those rooms are like two blocks apart. Tapsy was happy to have me back home. Guess who is chaperoning me? That is right, Tonks! Another trope done. The Metamorph got pulled back into House Black and immediately put to work.
Tonks was fun to be with until you said the forbidden word, as described in the books. Tapsy was happy to have people to care for again. Tonks's clumsiness gave them extra work, but they loved it.
My Mansion, you ask? It was in the style that the Old Guy was most disgusted about. It was a mishmash of different styles, starting with the oldest part from 2000 years ago. Each Era got a new addition built to it. The result was an eyesore for the Old Guy, but I loved it. It has character; it was mine!
Located in the small coastal village of Abergwyngregyn… I am in a fucking Fan Fiction of that old bastard! I would kill him if he were not already dead! That changes a lot! Now I am not in the head of a middle aged woman, now I am hanging somewhere in limbo with that old fart! Yes, he farted a lot! The worst part? Now I am playing that Old Guy's game! A bloody Harem!
Once I cooled down, I realized I had to wait until we were back at Hogwarts to discuss it with the girls.
Xxxxx
But first, I have to write those rejection letters.
Distinguished Lord and Lady [Insert Name]
I was honored that you considered your daughter fit to be a part of my future family.
Alas, the difference in [Insert Number] years is too significant to make it a harmonious marriage. As some could be mother and daughter.
Therefore, I turned down all the offers to join the Harem and let my fiancés invite the new candidates.
Included is your Yule present that I could not keep in good conscience. However, I would be honored if your Daughter were my friend in the future.
Yours, Heir Primary Potter, Black, Peverell, Griffindor, Slytherin, and Gaunt.
A fine letter, if I say so myself. My name is longer than Dumbledore's!
Xxxxx
Stupid idiot, I had to add all those Houses after Potter. Now Tracey and Daphne are getting swamped with Harem offers! Tapsy herself delivered a Howler from Tracey to me.
HARRY BLOODY POTTER! WHY IN MORGANA'S NAME DID YOU HAVE TO SIGN THAT REJECTION LETTER WITH ALL YOUR HOUSES? MY DAD IS MAKING FUN OF ME THE WHOLE TIME! I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!
Hmm, Tracey is mad at me… Tracey is a Witches Witch, so is Daphne! On top of that, they are offering pussy to join the Harem? I am fucked once Daphne and Tracey realize they entered the candy store.
I decided to cancel my visit to Tracey tonight. Daphne's Howler told me, "Be there, Potter! Don't you dare hide from us!"
Xxxxx
Another clue that I am in Fan Fiction is that Roger Davies lost a letter in his name and is now Tracey Davis's older brother. "Good luck," said the fucker when I floosed in, and he bailed out.
I had to face two angry witches with a mountain of letters in front of them. Tracey pointed at them and said, "Explain why all those letters for joining Your Harem are sent to us, Potter? You better have a good excuse."
I'll throw Astoria in front of the bus. "Well, first of all, I could not get it over my heart to let Astoria read my refusal letter again. Last time, I made her cry. Besides, most of the spots are already taken."
I looked innocently at them, "I messed up and am very sorry. Please forgive me? You knew I was bad at this, even my apologizes suck."
Daphne grumbled, "We have to decide what to do with this pile of letters."
I suggested, "Deny all who are not of Hogwarts's age? Let them down in person at school?"
Tracey groaned, "That will take forever! How many positions are open anyway?"
I shrugged, "Depends on Luna. She is hesitating between merging Lovegood with Peverell or taking the Consort spot. Katie has to choose Griffindor or Gaunt… if she wants a spot. Can we discuss this in the RoR?"
Tracey caved in, "When we are at Hogwarts, then. Help us sort them out, Harry. Three piles: too young, too old, and Hogwarts." She glared at me, "Don't get your hopes up, Potter. We removed the dirty pictures before you came in."
I teased her, "I bet you kept them for yourself."
Crap! I reminded them that they liked boobs and pussies too.
Xxxxx
I returned, mentally exhausted. I needed to get my mind off all those offers, especially when they mentioned looking at the included pictures. There were a lot of Hogwarts girls who wanted a spot; I did not recognize more than ten of them. If they had included the pictures, I would have known, but now?
I have to vent on someone. "Tonks!"
"What is it, Harry? You don't look happy," Tonks said when she looked up from her book. She loved my library.
"Teach me the messenger Patronus. I have to send some words out." I might as well do this trope too.
Tonks laughed, "Learn to cast a regular…" "Expecto Patronum!" "Yeah, that one. Nice Stag, it matches the Harem Theme you have going on. Stop glaring at me! Now look what you did, it is gone now."
Tonks got serious: "There are two ways to do a messenger Patronus. The first one is concentrating on your message and the person you want to send it to. The second is easier: You call out your Patronus with the intent to send a message. When your Stag is out, you dictate your message, concentrating on the person you want to send your message to."
I concentrated and sent my stag out. It walked to Tonks and shouted, {IT IS NOT A THEME!}
I was surprised, then I grinned at Tonks, "Hey! I can send Howlers this way!" Then I asked, "Can Muggles hear the message if the recipient is with a group of Muggles?"
Tonks shook her head, "Muggles can only hear it when the message is directed to them personally. The rest will feel warm and comfortable."
Xxxxx
{Hermione! I learned something new!}
{Katie! Check my Stag out!}
{Luna! I'll teach it on the train.}
{Astoria! Hello Lady Slytherin!}
{Tracey! Are you still mad at me, Lady Black?}
{Daffy! I learned a new trick!}
{Tonks! Lower your skirt, I can see your knickers.}
{You bloody Perv! I have a hex with your name on.}
{Cool down, Tonks, I was joking. I did not see your pink panties.}
{How did you know the color, Perv?}
{I thought you had a black one! That is why I said pink, Tonks.}
{You have a Pink Panty? I thought you were a Goth?}
{Find someone else to harass, Potter, or I will hex you into next week.}
{Alby! You have been a bad boy! Shagging Gelly and killing your sister? Very naughty!}
{Alby! Now I know what you see in that Mirror of Erised!}
{It is you and Gelly murdering your sister again, is it?}
{Alby! Did Tom refuse to drop his boxers for you?}
{Alby! How does it feel to let the real you out? Dark Lord Dumbledore?}
Hmm, I better stop, I just felt Fawkes bounce off from the War Wards. That must have hurt like a bitch.
13. Name the Books!
I asked Tonks, "Auror Tonks, what are the procedures to follow when you feel a Phoenix bounce off your War Wards? Any suggestions?"
Tonks answered without looking up from her book, "Collect the bird and alert the Director of the DMLE. This is above my pay grade… You'd better hurry before the owner comes to collect him."
I called out, "Tapsy! Fetsh that Phoenix that got caught by our War Wards, be careful, Dumbledore could be around."
I temporarily disconnected the anti-Phoenix Ward to let Tapsy bring Fawkes in. Tapsy popped in with baby Fawkes. When Fawkes saw me, he began to chirp angrily as if this was my fault he could not kidnap me.
I bit back, "Put a sock in it, Fawkes! You are supposed to be a legendary bird of the light, and you are singing the tunes of a Dark Lord! Did Dumbledore corrupt you that much that you no longer can tell the difference between Good and Evil?"
When Fawkes chirped louder, I closed his beak with my fingers and softly said, "However you look at it, Fawkes, you wanted to grab me and deliver me to Dumbledore. A Dumbledore who wants to kill me. What does it need to kill a Phoenix, Fawkes? How about I put you in an iron cage with anti-Phoenix spells on it and drop you in the ocean? Don't look at me like that! You wanted to deliver me to my killer!"
I wonder, "Hmm, Tonks? This is a kidnapping attempt or even a murder attempt, isn't it?"
Tonks did not look up from her book, but answered, "It is. It's also still above my pay grade, Harry. Call Madam Bones, and be a bit nicer to the chick."
Xxxxx
Madam Bones looked slack-jawed at my Patronus when she heard my stag deliver its message with my voice. {Madam Bones, Dumbledore's Phoenix just bounced off my Wards. Can you send someone who has the proper pay grade?}
She shook her head and grumbled, "That boy keeps on delivering me more work. RUFUS!"
Xxxxx
The Floo activated, Madam Bones's voice came through, "Heir Potter! Allow a team of Aurors access to your mansion."
I adjusted the ward settings and answered, "You can come through, Madam Bones."
The Team arrived in full gear, followed by Madam Bones and a man with an Einstein hairdo, who must be Scrimgeour or something.
Madam Bones looked around until she saw Tonks reading her book next to a big iron cage. "Auror Tonks, what can you report about this situation?"
Tonks looked up from her book and reported, "While I was chaperoning Heir Potter, Black, Peverell, Slytherin, Griffindor, Gaunt… am I forgetting one? Anyway, while I was chaperoning Heir Potter, Black, Peverell, Slytherin, Griffindor, Gaunt, he told me a Phoenix tried to penetrate the War Wards and got deflected. Heir Potter, Black, Peverell, Slytherin, Griffindor, Gaunt ordered his House Elf Tapsy to collect the Phoenix… which she did."
Tonks shrugged, "I am not on a bodyguard assignment and off duty, therefore investigating murder attempts on Heir Potter, Black, Peverell, Slytherin, Griffindor, Gaunt, can compromise the investigation, it is also above my pay grade. Being Heiress Secondary Black, I advised Heir Potter, Black, Peverell, Slytherin, Griffindor, Gaunt to call for the appropriate people to avoid a conflict of interests."
I said to Tonks, "Chaperon Heiress Secondary Black, I allow you to call me Heir Potter or Heir Black."
The Aurors had a grin on their faces, Madam Bones did not think it was funny, and Scrimgeour almost exploded. He turned to Tonks, "Auror Tonks, did you investigate the crime scene?"
Tonks shook her head, "Nope, as Heir Primary Black just said, I am Heiress Secondary Black. I could be accused of tampering with the evidence if I were to conduct an investigation, Head Auror Scrimgeour. I am off duty and could hinder the official investigation."
I got the train back on the rails by saying, "Tapsy will show you where she picked Fawkes up for the Aurors."
Madam Bones was studying the chick and said, "Robarts, follow that elf." Then she asked, Heir Potter, why is Dumbledore's Phoenix shivering? It is not that cold in here."
I shrugged, "I showed him his mortality. Can someone check this bird on illegal spells, like a forced familiar bond?"
That was one of Old Guy's tropes. Why else would a Phoenix dance to Dumbledore's tunes? Or it is just a well-trained bird with magic powers. It could understand human speech. The prospect of getting dunked in the ocean made him shiver with fear. How many times can a Phoenix revive? Drown, rebirth, and drown again, once every three to ten minutes, depending on how long he can hold his breath. Cruel, you say? Delivering me to Dumbledore is evil too, fuck him… No, cancel that order, we are not into bestiality.
Rufus waved his wand over Fawkes and reported, "There are bindings on this Phoenix, trackers, and some blood curse I can not identify. To remove them, we need a specialized curse breaker."
I spoke up, "I confiscate this bird and will let Gringotts curse breakers remove all the bad stuff."
I tapped Fawkes's cage, "You hear that, Fawkes? I will keep you here until Dumbledore is dead from old age or being killed."
The Aurors returned twenty minutes later, Robarts reported, "We investigated the place where the house elf collected the Phoenix. While we were there, Dumbledore apparated close by and demanded his Phoenix back. He refused to answer our questions about why that Phoenix wanted to enter private property, or why he ordered that Phoenix to break into a Lord's mansion. Dumbledore apparated away when I invited him to explain it all at the DMLE. He told us that the actions of Fawkes were not ordered by him."
I raised my hand and told them, "I can tell you why. I sent him a message Patronus. It could be that some of my questions in those messages pissed him off."
Madam Bones sighed, suppressing a headache, "Who taught you the message Patronus, Heir Potter?"
"It was Lord Black who did!" shouted Heiress Secondary Black in a panic.
I nodded with a big grin, "That he did, but it was Auror Heiress Secondary Black who told me to harass someone else when I was practicing it on her."
Tonks protested, "I did not tell you to practice it on Dumbledore! Just not on me."
Madam Bones turned to me, "Do you want to press charges, Heir Potter? If you do, then we have to confiscate that Phoenix as evidence, and somehow I think you have other plans for it."
Hmm, tough decision. I bet if Fawkes is going to the DMLE, he will be in Dumbledore's hands before the day is over. There are too many people who owe him a favor.
I shook my head, "I don't want to press charges now, Madam Bones, just to report what happened and why I confiscated the Phoenix. I could not use Auror Tonks for it because we are too closely related."
Tonks added, "And I was off duty!"
Xxxxx
{Blooddagger! I need Granny and her team to remove some curses from a Phoenix. Can she do that at my place?}
Ten minutes later, a Gringotts owl delivered a letter with a contract. Bloody fuck! That granny is expensive! House calls are three times the price! A total ripoff!
{I'll bring him in tomorrow, Granny. Although I asked to decurse a Phoenix, not to raid an Egyptian tomb.}
Ten minutes later, Granny sent an owl, "Every cheeky remark will raise the tariff by 10 %, brat. You are at 110% now."
I'd better hold on to my messages, because Granny has a bad temper. Tonks giggled when she read Granny's letter, "She got you where it hurts, Harry. Every joke will cost you."
I glared at her, "Maybe I will take it out on you, Heiress Secondary Black! Let me predict your future, hmm, you will marry an old werewolf and have a kid named Teddy. It will be in the book of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."
Tonks was shocked at first, then she recuperated, "No, she doesn't! Harry Potter got off script in the Prisoner of Azkaban!"
I sighed, "When did you receive your memories, Tonks?"
Tonks frowned, "You're not surprised? Wait, that means there are others?"
I nodded, "Quite a few. Luna, Hermione, Katie Bell, and Astoria Greengrass, who told it to her sister and Tracey Davis. I should have asked it sooner, you are one of the most popular characters in the books. Whose memories do you have?"
Tonks was digesting my answer, then she snapped out of it, "A woman from, I think, Hungary, I could not understand a word she said. She read the Potter books in her language and bought the English version afterward. She watched the movies and read a lot of fan fiction about you, too. She died in 2021 in an accident."
I named them. "Mine was a construction worker who died of old age in 2025. Luna was a young woman who died of Leukemia. Hermione was a part-time actress who died in an accident. Katie's was a hooker that OD'th and Astoria's was a young girl that died during bicycle training. All of them Potter fans."
Tonks shook her head, "All of them normal people? I got these memories two weeks ago. I did not act on it because there were so many changes in the story that depended on the books."
"Well, I found out we are not in the books, Tonks. We are in a Fan fiction story of that Old Guy, I am not sure which one, but all the signs are there."
"Harry, what signs?" Tonks asked.
I laid it out for her, "First, it is Roger Davis, Tracey's brother. In the books, they are not related. Next is this mansion; the Old Guy placed all the Potter mansions in Abergwyngregyn, including this one, which is also located in that village. The Carrow sisters are a year older than me… no, they never said in what year they were, only that they were talked about when they attended a slug party."
I shook my head, "Most of all, this is a Harem story. Seven or eight by now. The ones with memories are all females and Harem candidates."
Tonks protested, "Hey! I am not one of them!"
I tilted my head and asked, "So… you are going to shag an old wolf? One that bails on you when you get pregnant? Are you going to ask Sirius to introduce you to him? Ah! In a lot of Old Guy's fan fiction you are Bi and are shagging Hestia Jones."
Tonks froze up and blushed. She confessed, "I share an apartment with Hestia, and we fooled around a bit to get the edge off. The pickings are slim in the wizarding world, especially for female Aurors."
I shrugged, "I don't judge, nor do I care. However, now that you are Heiress Black, offers will roll in… you better put a leash on Sirius or he will prank you with a contract."
"No, he won't. Mum told him what would happen if he did," said Tonks proudly, "Mum forced him to take a vow on that."
Tonks looked at me, "So, a Harem story. You are moving fast for a thirteen-year-old boy. Are you shagging them?"
I shook my head. "Not until they're fifteen, I won't."
Tonks narrowed her eyes, "And who is fifteen years old, Heir Potter?"
I caved in, "One time, OK? It happened one time. Katie is fifteen, and she rewarded me because I lent her my spare Firebolt."
Tonks was surprised, "You got two of them? You knew Sirius would give you one for Yule! They are expensive. Why did you buy one?"
I tried to explain, "I declared that I won't buy a broom for as long as the Dementors were at Hogwarts. So when they were gone, I had to buy a broom. I could not count on Sirius giving me one, too much has changed for that."
I grinned, "You and Jones are working the pussies without a bloke… can I watch sometimes? Maybe I can learn a bit, although I doubt you can show me something new."
Tonks mocked me, "What can a thirteen-year-old brat know? I doubt you even had a wet dream."
I shrugged, "That Old Guy had a stack of porn, and watched some movies on a pay channel. I saw plenty, Tonks, I bet I can teach you and Jones some moves. FYI, I had my first wet dream not so long ago."
Yeah, dreaming of Katie and Hermione a few days after my visit. Meh, a snap of Tapsy's finger cleaned it all up. Tonks got silenced; she did not dare to call my bluff. It is possible I spoke the truth, knowing I have an Old Guy's memory.
Tonks tested the waters, "So… am I allowed to let Hestia move in? We share an apartment; this way, we can save some money."
I added, "And the food is free, another boost in your budget that you can turn into beer and liqueur."
Tonks nodded. "I cannot deny that." Then she grinned, "Did you see the wine cellar of the Mansion? Hestia and I will be drunk for a century before we can finish it all!"
I shrugged, "Start with the cheap stuff, I still have four and a half years to do at Hogwarts. I hope for your sake that St Mungos can detox livers. I have to warn you though, if I find you or her pisdrunk, sleeping out of your suite, then I will strip, and shag you."
Tonks stuck out her tongue, "You are at Hogwarts nine months a year, Harry. That is plenty enough times to baptize the mansion."
"I don't mind that, as long as you're not baptizing it with puke, Tonks," was my response. "You heard the boundaries, there are not a lot of them, only one more. You have to move out when you marry a bloke. So be sure to pick one that can support you."
In other words, I don't want to shelter that old wolf. No matter how you defend him, he failed me and Sirius. I am treating him as I would an old classmate from my dad's. A hello and short chat in Diagon Alley, and forget about him a few minutes later. Like he did with me.
A bit bitter, you say? Ten years in a cupboard tells me I have the right to be bitter about it. That old wolf can fuck himself. I will fuck Tonks if I find her sleeping it off outside her quarters.
Xxxxx
Granny glared at me when I delivered the chick to her. She waved her dagger over Fawkes and frowned. "That is more work than we anticipated, brat! Those spells are deeply anchored in this bird's soul. This will take more than a week."
"Whatever it takes, Granny. Just prevent Fawkes from being given back to Dumbledore. he has a lot of friends everywhere." I warned her.
Granny shook her head, "Not here anymore. Those who did not come forward lost their heads. The other ones face heavy penalties. Dumbledore knows better than to set one foot in Gringotts after what he has done."
"I am relieved to hear that. Call on Tapsy when you are done with Fawkes. I told the bird I would keep him until Dumbledore's death."
Xxxxx
We boarded the Hogwarts Express when Hestia moved in with Tonks. They canceled their apartment and settled in the Guest Wing. Yes, I have a few of those. It is 10. 15, so no Weasleys yet. I settled in an empty compartment with the Greengrasses and Davis. Twenty minutes later, Hermione and Luna joined. That left no room for MoRon.
The train left the station when he opened the door, dragging his trunk behind him. I told him, "Find another compartment to sit in, Ron, this one is full."
He protested, "One of them can move away! Loony or that small snake has no business here!"
I clapped my hands, "You, MoRon, just earned five more months being a MoRon. Luna and Astoria have more right than you to sit here. First of all, they are very pretty girls. You are an obnoxious bloke. Second of all, they are my future wives, sorry to disappoint you, MoRon, I don't swing that way. Now piss off before I cancel our friendship completely."
Hermione elbowed me, "Use proper language to tell MoRon to move to another compartment, Harry. Telling him to piss off is rude. Close the door, MoRon, us fiancees have to discuss our marriage."
MoRon slammed the door closed and left. Tracey asked, "Since when do we have to discuss our marriage? All the contracts are signed… except yours and Katie's."
Luna smiled brightly, "Daddy signed it yesterday. I am going to be Consort Peverell."
Daphne chuckled, "My father and I checked the old bylaws of Hogwarts, he arranged private quarters for Harry and us. It is allowed when the Lords or Regents ask for it and we are in different Houses."
Tracey giggled, "Harry had to take a Vow to refrain from having intercourse with us until we are sixteen."
Those were hard negotiations; they demanded seventeen, and I had to work hard to get it to sixteen. They vetoed fifteen. "Meh, Katie's parents did not sign yet. So I still have one to take care of my Stiff Problem."
Katie opened the door and sat down on my lap. "Guess what, Harry? Lord Black and my dad signed our betrothal contract yesterday. Why did you demand not to have sex until I am sixteen?"
I groaned, "Bloody Sirius thinks it was funny, putting us together and turning off the fun part. I thought you wanted to be a Harpy first, Kate?"
"It is all in the contract, love. We are free to pursue a career, and hold off the kids until we are ready for them." Katie reassured me.
Then she turned and straddled me, "They did not say we could not have fun without the penetrating parts, love. That is just what we are going to do for the next hour. Angie and Alicia kicked me out for an hour to have fun with the twins."
Astoria stood up, "I am too young to watch this. I am going to see Marny and Doris for a couple of hours."
Katie giggled, "You don't have to leave, Astoria. We are only going to snog a bit. The rest is for tonight."
With the door in her hand, Astoria complained, "I had to take a Vow not to do anything with Harry until I am thirteen. Not even a kiss."
When she left, Daphne said, "We could not let her stay in Slytherin, there are too many Death Eaters' children in there. Sirius insisted that the Carrow twins have to stay with us too."
I announced, "There is one more for the memory club. Tonks, from a couple of weeks ago. She and Hestia Jones moved into Potter Mansion as House Guests."
Hermione whistled, "You know they will stay for the rest of their lives, don't you?"
I sighed, "I know, I forgot that bit about house guests when I offered it to them. One positive point is that my wine cellar is big enough to keep them pissed… auw, drunk for a century. Ah, the twins are here."
Tracey let them in. "Sit down, Hestia and Flora. It's a bit cramped, but we'll manage."
The twins saw Katie on my lap trying to dry humping me. Hestia asked, "Are we supposed to start doing that with you from now on, Heir Black?"
I slapped Katie on her ass to cool her down. Daphne answered, "No, you are not. Not until we are married or you decide to do so of your own free will, and you are at least sixteen years old. Lord Black demanded that you enter our quarters for your own protection. Just like my sister, Tracey, and I. It is not safe for us in Slytherin."
Flora asked, "What services are expected from us, Heir Black?"
I thought for a minute and summed it up. "First, now that the contract is out in the open, you can't date boys anymore. Friends are allowed, but no romantic relations. The contract is activated; it would punish you. You are allowed to pursue any career you want, within reason. A teaching position in Japan would be out of the question, for example."
I got serious, "What I won't allow are some of those awful clauses in that contract. I won't pass you around to gain favors, and I won't use corporal punishments, ever. I promise to treat you the same as the other girls."
I made an offer, "Astoria is going to be Lady Slytherin, Tracey for Lady Black with Daphne as Consort. Hermione will be Lady Potter, Katie Lady Peverell, with Luna as consort. Hestia, you have to continue house Carrow, that leaves Flora's children for House Gaunt."
I grinned at everyone, "There! All spots are filled."
Flora shook sadly her head, "It is not, Heir Black. I had to take a potion to prevent having children, so they won't turn to violence when they grow up."
Hestia added, "Any children of mine have to go to my parents when they are five years old, to be raised as Carrows."
I said with a serious face, kind of hard with a girl on your lap, "Any child of mine will be raised in our home until they are ready to start a family of their own. If your parents want to be involved with your children, they can visit like any other Grandparent. I will kick them out of the country if they demand more."
I turned to Flora, "Maybe it is not much, but I think Hestia would not mind letting you blood adopt one or two of her children. That way, you can share the motherhood with her."
Hestia grabbed Flora's hand, "I won't mind it at all, Flora. It is possible with Heir Black's permission."
Xxxxx
We entered the Great Hall and spotted the new professors. Hmm… Lord Abbot is the interim Headmaster, an old fat man sits in the potion chair… bloody fuck! The pink toad for Dada? How did that happen?
Chapter 14
Disclaimer:
Mrs. J.K., I love the sandbox, but I noticed I build the same sandcastles over and over. I have to think about something new soon… For free, of course.
Previous:
I grinned at everyone, "There! All spots are filled."
Flora shook sadly her head, "It is not, Heir Black. I had to take a potion to prevent having children, so they won't turn to violence when they grow up."
Hestia added, "Any children of mine have to go to my parents when they are five years old, to be raised as Carrows."
I said with a serious face, kind of hard with a girl on your lap, "Any child of mine will be raised in our home until they are ready to start a family of their own. If your parents want to be involved with your children, they can visit like any other Grandparent. I will kick them out of the country if they demand more."
I turned to Flora, "Maybe it is not much, but I think Hestia would not mind letting you blood adopt one or two of her children. That way, you can share the motherhood with her."
Hestia grabbed Flora's hand, "I won't mind it at all, Flora. It is possible with Heir Black's permission."
Xxxxx
We entered the Great Hall and spotted the new professors. Hmm… Lord Abbot is the interim Headmaster, an old fat man sits on the potion chair… bloody fuck! The pink toad for Dada? How did that happen?
14 Hem hem.
George or Fred answered, "She got sacked from the Ministry for lying about her blood status. This was the only job she could get. Perhaps because nobody else wanted it."
Hermione glared at me, "Your fault!"
I protested, "How can it be my fault for the Ministry to be blood bigots? I didn't fire that toad!"
Hermione shook her head. "It is still your fault, Harry."
Lord Abbot, the new headmaster, stood up and gave his speech. "A few words before we can start our dinner. Starting with me, I am Lord Abbot, the interim Headmaster until the end of this school year. You will address me as Headmaster. Professor Slughorn graciously agreed to fill his old Potion Professor's position until we find a new Potion Master. Professor Vectra agreed to be the deputy Headmistress, and Professor Sinistra will be the new head of House Slytherin. And last but not least, we found Madam Umbridge to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Now…"
The toad stood up and Hem hemmed, "Hemm Hem, Dear students, it is my pleasure to teach this important class…"
I interrupted with a load of, "HEM! AHEM! Kuch, kuch, Ahem! Hemehem hem hem!"
I held my hand up and hoarsely explained. "Sorry to interrupt you, Madam Umbitch, there is something stuck in my throat. Elves! Can you serve dinner so I can drink a bit?"
Suddenly, our food arrived, and everyone lost interest in what the Toad was about to say and started eating. The Toad stood frozen and watched her chance for the spotlight fade away.
Flitwick comforted her, "Don't mind it, Dolores, students never listen when they are hungry. Enjoy your meal."
That was too much for the Toad; being comforted by a half breed Goblin in the presence of the other teachers made her turn and storm out of the Great Hall. Flitwick asked innocently, "Was it something I said?"
Headmaster Abbot chuckled, "No, Filius, she forgot she isn't a pureblood anymore. I am sure she will adapt to her new station… someday."
To maintain my ruse, I drank a cup of water first. "Aah! That hit the spot! My poor throat was hurting a lot. Hey! That rhymes! There must be a poet hidden in me! I have to do that more times. See? Again!"
Fred or George shook his head, "You better keep that poet hidden, Harry. That was almost as bad as Celina Warbeck's song lyrics. We are glad you are not singing them, though. We heard you sing in the shower after every Quidditch match, and hope you won't pursue a singing career."
I glared at George, it could be Fred, "I only sing to douse the noise from the other side, Fred. Stop making those noises, and I'll stop singing."
Angelina giggled, "We love to hear you sing, Harry. Don't stop on our account."
Xxxxx
Professor Vectra came to our table when we were almost done, "Lord Slytherin, I will show you to your new quarters when you and your fiancées are done eating. Signal me when you are ready."
I nodded, "Thank you, Deputy Headmistress. Additionally, as long as I am a student, you may address me as Mr. Potter. The Lord stuff is for official business."
Professor Vectra smiled, "I will pass the word around, Mr. Potter. Enjoy your dessert."
Parvati commented, "Strange, I would have thought that Umbridge would teach Dada in two years from now. I wonder what changed. This story is completely messed up."
Hermione groaned, "Shit! I thought I could avoid that gossip queen. That means Padma knows about it too. This is so fucked up."
I elbowed her and whispered, "Language, Miss Granger! Remember, we're in a harem story; what did you expect? We'll call them out tomorrow."
Hermione whispered back, "Fuck your Harem story, Harry! You will not shag her or Padma before they are sixteen like every one else, you hear?"
I hissed back, "Then this is not a Harem story but a torture story. I will start with tying you up and let everyone eat you out. How do you feel about that?… Merlin! You would love that? I know that look, Missy Granger!"
Hermione groaned, "That was something she did with her lovers. Your comment triggered those memories."
Xxxxx
Vectra showed our new quarters, "Set a new password when I am gone, Mr. Potter. Lord Greengrass informed us about the clause in your contracts, so we are aware that there will be no pregnancies. We kindly request that you keep your acts of affection within these rooms. The staff have a hard time controlling the hormones of the students without your encouragement."
I promised her, "We will keep it proper, Deputy Headmistress. I got the speech 'don't defile my baby' several times last week from my future Fathers-in-law."
When she left, I grinned, "Who wants to tie Hermione up and eat her out? Raise your hands."
Only Luna's hand was raised. At the puzzled looks of the others, I explained, "That was something her memory did with her lovers."
Daphne rolled her eyes, "Can we not act out on the memories of your memories, please? We don't know how to drive on a bicycle; they are dangerous."
Hermione glared at me, "Nobody is tying me up!" she added with an afterthought, "not before I am sixteen."
Our new quarters are big; my bedroom is enormous! The bed could fit us all… by design, I guess. The main bathroom had a tub to fit us all. However, their rooms each had a small bathroom. To describe it, it was a Harem Lord trope. Not that I'm complaining, nope, not complaining at all.
As usual, Luna got into my bed for her hugs. Katie came along to fix my Stiff Problem with her mouth, and Hermione to keep an eye on me to keep it proper. We tied her up and ate her out, of course.
Xxxxx
Our first Dada Class was fun, a small chubby pink something wanted to let us act like kindergarten kids. "Hem Hem! This is not the way to enter my classroom! Go out and come in properly, quietly, and respectfully! Then, when I make a signal, you will greet me properly."
I said, "Come, people, get out, I bet this is a way on how we have to defend ourselves against the etiquette monsters."
Daphne snapped at me, "Don't call my mother names, Potter. I wonder what she will do when I tell her you think she is a monster."
Tracey piled on, "So you think good manners are for monsters, Potter? What are you? A barbarian?"
Daphne gave her finishing stab, "Going on Hermione's screams from last night, he is Tracey. We could not sleep for hours."
Hem Hem lost her temper, "Everybody out!"
We went outside, I asked, "Did she just dismiss her class? What did we do wrong? Girls, we can catch up in the library."
The others saw us leave and followed our example. She did yell Get Out! After all. I wonder how long she will last with her childish rules.
At Lunch, Headmaster Abbot came to me, "Mr. Potter, can you explain why you all walked out of Miss Umbridge's classroom?"
I nodded, "I can, Headmaster. I doubt you would like my answer, though."
Headmaster Abbot rolled his eyes. "Try me anyway, Mr. Potter. I am sure I can take it."
"Well, Headmaster, when we entered the classroom, Miss Umbitch tried to teach us how not to anger Dark Wizards by using proper Etiquette. When my fiancés and I discussed why I called people who teach etiquette monsters, implicating her Mother, Miss Umbitch lost her temper and yelled Get out. With that, she dismissed her class." That was my clever explanation.
We all sat at the Ravenclaw table, Luna said, "Get out is a sign to leave. The Nargels must have confounded her."
I added, "Miss Umbitch must have gone to a Muggle school in her childhood. Only in kindergarten will they demand that children act the way they want them to. Maybe you have to remind her this is a school for Wizards and Witches, not Muggles."
Headmaster Abbot sighed, "You were right, Mr. Potter, I don't like the answer."
Katie glared at me, "So it was you who got that Toad mad at us! She gave detentions to ten of us and took fifty points from us!"
Headmaster Abbot pretended he did not hear that and went back to his seat. Silently hoping this year will pass over fast.
Padma commented, "Don't let her let you write lines with a black quill. I heard she can be nasty."
Daphne, who sat closest to Padma, softly said, "Visit our quarters with your sister after dinner, Miss Patil. The Prisoner of Azkaban is being rewritten. We have to discuss this new situation."
Wide-eyed, Padma could only nod. This was not what she expected at all. "We will be there after dinner, Miss Greengrass."
Xxxxx
I let the girls handle the twins. I followed the first student, who happened to be Katie, who had detention with Hem Hem, into her office under my trusty cloak. Behold! Not one day in school, and she is on the fast track to Azkaban! For now, I let Katie take the lead.
After the first word, Katie spoke up, "You know, professor, letting a student use a Blood Quill is a violation of the treaty of 1784 with the Goblins. Possessing a Blood Quill is cause to be detained in the mines below Gringotts. Forcing a minor to sign her name with a blood Quill is a minimum of ten years in Azkaban. Which one do you prefer?"
When Hem Hem reached for her wand, Katie was prepared and stunned Hem Hem. She asked, "Harry, can you call the Aurors? Or do we let Headmaster Abbot deal with it?"
I shrugged after I removed my cloak, "I'll call them both. And let them fight it out."
Headmaster Abbot sighed when he received my Patronus at home. {Headmaster Abbot, Miss Umbitch forced my underage fiancé to write lines with a Blood Quill. We informed the DMLE already.}
Lady Abbot commented, "You were right, Bradley, they are trouble magnets. Have fun."
A Patronus appeared before Madam Bones, {Aunty Amelia... Sorry, Director Bones, can you come over? Umbitch forced my fiancée to write lines with a blood Quill."
Madam Bones groaned, "Not one day in school, and he is making trouble again."
A German shepherd appeared before Robarts, {Robarts! Take a team to Hogwarts and arrest that pink bitch! Now!}
Xxxxx
Can you believe Hem Hem chose Azkaban over Gringotts? Come on! The Goblins are not that bad! You freeze your ass off in Azkaban in Winter and the Dementors make sure you won't have any happy thoughts. In the mines, it is warm and dry, and you get a daily workout. Even the mortality rate is lower than Azkaban, not by much, but it is lower.
We thought by removing the Tiara, the curse would be gone, maybe we have to wait until the year is over. Headmaster Abbot had no choice but to hire the wolf back. He forced a Magic contract on the wolf that forbade it from making contact in any way with Dumbledore and refused to answer his calls and questions.
You found a loophole, you say? Ah, they could meet accidentally, and Lupin would report without being asked. Then Dumbledore would talk to himself like old men often do. Too bad that Dobby was listening in.
Therefore, when Lupin wanted to slap a Portkey on me during our Hogsmeade weekend, two teams of Aurors accompanied us. While Albus was focusing on the Aurors, I cast my Expelliarmus, the signature spell of Harry Potter!
It got me two wands, one Hallow and one that I don't care about. I am the Master of DEATH! Bow to me!
Albie and his wolf got a nice cell awaiting their trial, and Headmaster Abbot has to look for another Dada Professor. Damn the Curse!
Xxxxx
Huh? Why are the Patils in my bed? Daphne said, "Lord Patil signed the contracts last weekend while you were playing with Dumbledore, Harry. They have the same contract as we do."
Parvati pointed a finger at me, "You better know how to dance before next Christmas, Harry. And I want Lavender with me. I kill MoRon first before he will use potions on Lavender. Won Won and Lav Lav will never happen!"
I asked, "Does Lav Lav know about the Harry Potter books?"
Parvati shook her head, "No, we got these memories just before New Year from Twins that died in an airplane crash. We noticed the first two books were accurate until you fell off your broom. Padma dropped the line about the Pink Toad to test the waters. We never knew so many have those memories."
Astoria commented, "You are right, it is getting crowded in here. By the time I am sixteen, he will have died from exhaustion."
I shrugged, "Don't worry, Tory, I bet Daphne and Tracey are willing to help to share the love."
Katie giggled, "Never mind Daphne and Tracey, Harry can handle it just fine with his Parseltongue. It is a Magical one."
I held my hand up, "Fourteen years and older, no exceptions. And it is only fourteen because Katie is the only fifteen-year-old girl in our bed. She would hog all my attention."
Xxxxx
Alby and Lupin got cells next to each other. Lupin got fifty years, ten years for every Lordship he wanted to kidnap. Albie got life because he was planning to murder five Lords. They stuffed him with Veritaserum and milked the truth out of him til the last drop.
I had to ask the goblins for a certificate that my scar is Tom-free, and that Tom left the world in seven pieces. They believed me eventually.
The rest of the year passed quickly. I studied Magic like a zealot, afraid that the dream would soon be over. My nights were filled with jaw-breaking actions. The girls started to complain. I got my resistance trained, and it took half an hour before I lost a load. To speed it up, they had to resolve to teamwork. I did not complain, of course.
Headmaster Abbot lost it and hired a Gringotts Curse breaker team to remove the curse on the Dada position. The Goblins came in, waved their daggers around for a minute, and left. It was a small effort, but the bill was not small, though.
At the end of the year, we looked at eachother, I asked, "Why do I feel this is the end? This is a Harem story, and I only shagged one girl!"
Luna answered, "Because all the villains are gone, silly. You had to keep some of the Nargles around."
Hermione patted my back, "Patience, Harry, you will have us all eventually."
Katie giggled, "You can practice on Tonks and Jones if you get them drunk enough."
Xxxxx
At the train ride home, MoRon asked Ginny, "Why didn't you tell Harry you got memories of books about us and him?"
Ginny glared at him, "And what? Join his herd? What about you? You had them from last year, and you didn't do squat about it!"
MoRon shook his head, "I wanted to keep the original stories, some of those alternatives scared me to death. Bloody Malfoy can not be trusted. He sticks his dick in everyone."
Ginny giggled, "Too bad you got the memories of a gay man who read only Draco Fan Fiction stories.
Xxxxx
Nineteen years later.
We returned home after delivering the last batch of kids on the train. Looking back, we have a good life, every girl had or has a nice career, Katie was a Harpy for ten years, Daphne and Hermione are into politics, Padma and Tracey are into business, import and export, and good money. Luna owns the Quibbler and the Daily Prophet. We still take two weeks each summer to look for those Snorcacks.
Parvati and Lavender are managing Teen Witch weekly, yes, I got Lav Lav too. Padma and the Carrow twins are teaching at Hogwarts and are keeping an eye on the kids. Hestia's boys are not bothered by their Grandparents; they went on a trip and never came back. You don't need to believe those rumors.
Tonks and Jones both have twins, their fault! I caught them piss drunk out of their room. That had to be punished! They still live at my place, but now, before they open a bottle of booze, they cast an anti-conception spell. I bet they pass out outside their room on purpose.
We are a harmonious family. We formed a coven to eliminate fights, yeah, Tonks and Jones joined too. I only got one time in trouble, that was when I suggested to name Astoria's baby boy Scorpio. I could not sit for weeks.