The Going Merry, her soul now awake and her wood humming with magical energy, was a bastion of cheer in an ocean of pure insanity. One day, the sea was a boiling, tropical paradise. Next, it was the Arctic.
A freak snowstorm, appearing from a clear blue sky, had enveloped the ship in a thick, silent blanket of white.
Luffy, naturally, was in heaven.
"TA-DAAAAA!" he roared, stepping back from his creation on the main deck.
The crew (minus a very annoyed Nami) gathered around. Luffy had built a "snowman." It was... a lumpy, sideways, frankly disturbing pile of snow. It looked less like a man and more like a barrel that had melted. It had two mismatched pebbles for eyes, a carrot for a nose (which Luffy had stolen from Sanji's pantry, earning him a kick), and two spindly, pathetic sticks for arms.
"I call him... Mr. Snow Barrel!" Luffy declared, his chest puffed with pride. "He's the man who fell from the sky! He's our new nakama! Shishishi!"
Usopp, who had been working furiously on his own side of the deck, let out a smug, dismissive "Pfft."
"That's not a snowman, Luffy. That," he said, gesturing dramatically, "is a disgrace to the art of snow-sculpting. BEHOLD!"
Usopp whipped a tarp off his own creation. The crew gasped.
It was... beautiful.
It was a perfect, life-sized, heartbreakingly detailed sculpture of a young woman, sitting demurely on a snow-rock. The likeness to Kaya was unmistakable, from her gentle smile to the flow of her hair.
"I call this..." Usopp said, his voice thick with artistic pride, "...the Snow Princess! A tribute to a... uh... a friend... who is waiting for a brave warrior of the sea to return!"
Luffy stared at Usopp's statue. He stared at Mr. Snow Barrel. He looked back at the Snow Princess. His expression went from pride, to confusion, to a look of offended shock.
"What?!" Luffy yelled, pointing an accusatory finger. "How is yours so much better than mine?! That's not fair! Okay, Mr. Snow Barrel... PUNCH!"
Luffy grabbed his snowman's spindly stick-arm and, with a battle cry, slammed it forward. The stick flew from the snowman's lumpy body, spiraled through the air, and...
THWACK.
...it hit the Snow Princess, neatly, perfectly, and catastrophically, knocking her entire head clean off.
Usopp's face froze. The head of his beloved Kaya statue rolled, hit a railing, and shattered on the deck.
Silence.
"You..." Usopp's voice was a low, dangerous tremble. "You... murderer!"
"It was an accident!" Luffy protested, already starting to laugh. "He just... he has a really strong punch!"
"Oh, an accident, is it?!" Usopp roared, his eyes bugging out. "Then how about this accident?! GIANT... SNOW... KICK!"
Usopp delivered a flying kick to Mr. Snow Barrel, obliterating the lumpy creation in a massive explosion of white powder.
"MY NAKAMA!" Luffy screamed, his face a mask of pure, childish rage.
"YOU DESTROYED MY PRINCESS!"
"YOU DESTROYED MY BARREL-MAN!"
What followed was a chaotic, high-speed brawl that devolved into the two of them just grabbing handfuls of snow and smashing them into each other's faces.
Nami, who had been trying to get a stable reading from the Log Pose at the helm, finally let out a primal scream of pure frustration.
"WOULD YOU TWO IDIOTS SHUT UP?!" she roared, her voice laced with rage. "I am trying to navigate us through a blizzard in the middle of the ocean, our lives are on the line, and you two are fighting over water-fluff! I quit! I'm done!"
She sighed, a great, weary sound, and stomped back into her navigation room, slamming the door.
Ben, who was sitting on the railing, calmly sipping a magically-heated cup of tea, just chuckled. He patted the railing. "Don't mind them, Merry. They're just... spirited. Now, let's keep this heading. This snowstorm should be... over... in about... five minutes."
And, as if the Grand Line were listening to him, the snow stopped. Instantly. The sun came out, the temperature rose twenty degrees, and the snow on the deck melted into puddles in less than a minute. Luffy and Usopp, who were mid-punch, just found themselves covered in slush, their fight forgotten.
"Huh," Luffy said. "It's hot now. Sanji! I'm hungry!"
Thanks to Ben's enchantments and the Merry's new consciousness, the ship was a marvel of efficiency. While other rookie crews would be tossed about, lost in the chaotic weather, the Merry held her course.
Nami would plot the heading from the Log Pose, and the ship herself, guided by Ben's magic, would stick to it, subtly adjusting her own sails and rudder to compensate for the Grand Line's insane currents.
Two days after the great "Snowball War of '1522," they saw it.
"Land... ho?" Usopp called from the crow's nest, his voice filled with confusion. "I think? It's... just... fog?"
He was right. A thick, eerie, pale-green mist shrouded the island, which the Log Pose insisted was right in front of them. It was silent, dead, and utterly uninviting.
But as the Merry drew closer, two figures on the deck suddenly burst into action.
"This is it! Our stop! We're home!" Mr. 9 cheered, his voice trembling with relief.
"Finally!" Vivi (Miss Wednesday) spat, glaring at Ben. "Off this... circus ship!"
Before the crew could even react, Mr. 9 and Vivi grabbed a spare rope, tied it to the railing, and, with a final, "Thanks for nothing, you freaks!" they leaped off the ship, swinging wildly into the mist, and vanishing.
Luffy, who was picking his nose, just blinked. "Huh. They forgot their mops."
"More food for us!" Sanji declared, lighting a cigarette.
"Good riddance to the tacky-suit guy," Zoro grunted, not opening his eyes.
"Merry, let's go," Ben said, and the ship sailed calmly into the oppressive, green fog.
The mist was so thick, they couldn't see the figurehead from the helm. The only sound was the drip... drip... drip... of condensation.
"This is... creepy," Nami whispered, her hands tight on the wheel. "I can't see a thing..."
"This is where the Great Captain Usopp's legend ends," Usopp whimpered. "Eaten by... Mist-Zombies!"
"Don't be an idiot," Zoro said. "Mist can't... wait, what's that sound?"
A new sound. Faint, at first. Then... cheering?
"Is that... people?" Sanji asked, confused.
As if on cue, the Merry burst through the fog bank into a bright, sunlit river canyon.
And the entire population of the island was there.
They were lined up on the riverbanks, on the bridges, on the roofs of the cactus-shaped buildings. They were cheering, waving banners, throwing confetti, and screaming at the top of their lungs.
"WELCOME!"
"HEROES!"
"FREE BOOZE FOR THE PIRATES!"
"YOU'RE THE BEST!"
The Straw Hats were stunned. They had been... expecting... well, anything but this.
Luffy's eyes sparkled. "Whoa! Look, guys! A parade! They love us! Shishishi!"
Usopp, his fear instantly gone, struck a heroic pose on the railing. "Of course they love us! News of the Great Captain Usopp's exploits must have preceded him!"
Nami was just... bewildered. "A... a welcoming party? For pirates?"
The Merry docked, and the crew was immediately swarmed by a joyous, laughing mob. Before Nami could even get her bearings, a tall, old-looking man with the most ridiculous curly hair she had ever seen—hair that looked like two giant, purple... things... on the side of his head—pushed his way through, bowing deeply.
"Welcome, welcome, brave pirates!" he said, his voice jovial. "I am Igarappoi! Or, Igarappi, if you prefer! I am the mayor of this humble town, Whiskey Peak!"
Luffy, his face a mask of pure, unfiltered, childish curiosity, stepped right up to him. He leaned in, his nose inches from the man's hair.
"I'm Luffy. It's nice to meet you, Pops," Luffy said, his voice dead-serious. He then pointed. "You went way overboard with the curling of your hair."
The entire town... froze.
Igarappi's smile twitched. He let out a strained, high-pitched laugh. "Such... such honesty! What a refreshing, uncouth... I mean... charming young captain!"
He quickly recovered, spreading his arms wide. "Our town is famous across the Grand Line! Famous for its hospitality, its music, and its wine! Oh, the wine! We have heard... rumors... of your great adventures! We beg of you, allow us to throw a party! A grand banquet, in your honor, so that we may hear the magnificent tales of your voyage!"
The offer hung in the air. This was a trap, a lure, a poisoned apple.
And the Straw Hats took the bait. Hard.
Luffy's eyes lit up. "PARTY?!" (He heard: MEAT!)
Usopp's chest puffed out. "TALES OF ADVENTURE?!" (He heard: A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE FOR MY LIES!)
Sanji's one visible eye turned into a giant, pulsating heart as he scanned the crowd of... ahem... very friendly-looking women. "WIIIIINE?!" (He heard: MADEMOISELLES!)
"WE'LL BE GLAD TO!" the three of them roared in perfect, idiotic unison.
They didn't wait for an answer. Luffy, Usopp, and Sanji took off like a shot, sprinting into the town, following the cheering "citizens."
Ben, who had been watching the entire exchange with a small, knowing smile, just chuckled. He turned to Nami and Zoro. "Well, you heard the captain. A party. It would be rude to refuse."
He then took off at a jaunty pace, following them. "Wait for me, guys! Save me some of that famous wine!"
Nami and Zoro were left alone on the Merry's deck, surrounded by "helpful" townspeople trying to unload their cargo.
"...Idiots," Nami said, her voice flat. "Every last one of them. Utter, complete, hopeless... idiots."
The town square of Whiskey Peak was transformed. Lanterns were strung between the cactus-buildings, massive tables were groaning under the weight of food, and barrels of booze were being rolled out, free for the taking.
Nami, despite her reservations, was dragged into the chaos. "Mr. Igarappi!" she said, trying to be responsible. "This is all... lovely. But, my Log Pose. How many days does it take to set for the next island?"
Igarappi, who was now wearing a ridiculous party hat on top of his ridiculous hair, just laughed and waved a hand, dismissing her. "Such... boring questions! The Log Pose? Who cares! It could take a day! A week! Who knows! The night is young, my dear! Forget the boring stuff! Let's party!"
He shoved a massive mug of ale into her hands. Nami looked at the ale. She looked at the cheering crowd. She looked at her crew, who were already making fools of themselves.
"...Ah, what the hell," she muttered, and took a deep, long drink.
The party was, in a word, epic.
It was also, Ben knew, 100% a trap. Every citizen was a bounty hunter from Baroque Works. The booze was drugged. The food was drugged. The atmosphere was drugged. But Ben also knew... his crew had the constitution of gods.
Usopp was the star of the show. He was on a small stage, a spotlight on him, telling a massive, enraptured crowd the "true story" of how they defeated Arlong.
"...And there I was!" Usopp yelled, gesturing wildly. "Surrounded by ten thousand fishmen! Arlong, he says to me, 'Surrender, Captain Usopp!' And I say to him, 'Never!' And I... I... I whistled! And my 8,000 followers, who were hiding underwater, rose up! And then... I punched him! With my bare hands! Right in the nose!"
The crowd roared! "AMAZING, CAPTAIN USOPP!"
Sanji was in his own personal heaven. He was surrounded by no less than ten beautiful, adoring women. Sanji, however, was blind to all of it.
"Ah, mademoiselles~!" he crooned, spinning on one foot, a tray of cocktails on his hand. "Your beauty is like a perfectly executed consommé! Clear, deep, and making me... hot! My heart... it is sizzling... like a filet mignon on a hot stone! MELLORINE~!"
The women giggled, batting their eyelashes, all while thinking about the bounty on his head.
Zoro had, of course, found the booze. He wasn't interested in the townspeople, the food, or the music. He had been challenged to a "friendly" drinking contest by the entire local "Brewery Guild" (aka, the heavy-hitters of the bounty hunter squad).
One by one, they slammed back mugs of ale.
One by one, they turned green, their eyes rolled back, and they thudded onto the floor.
Zoro was unfazed. He was stacking his mugs in a pyramid.
"...Nine... ten... eleven..." he grunted, slamming back another. "This stuff's... weak."
He finished his thirteenth mug. "Gimme... 'nother..."
He then, without any fanfare, simply fell face-first onto the table, his hand still gripping the mug. A tiny zzzzz sound confirmed he was fast asleep.
Nami was having her own contest. A burly, bearded man had challenged her.
"You don't look like you can drink, little lady!" he'd bellowed.
Nami's response was a sharp, dangerous smile.
Ten minutes later, he was on the floor, foaming at the mouth. Nami was standing on the table, one foot on his chest, raising her fifteenth mug to the cheering crowd.
"I! AM THE QUEEN! OF THE... ocean..." she slurred, her face bright red. "And... I... am... rich..."
She then wobbled, her eyes went out of focus, and she collapsed backward into a pile of empty barrels, also fast asleep.
Luffy was, as always, a simpler case. He was at the main table. He had not spoken a word. He had not looked up. He had just... eaten.
The "townspeople" were just... bringing him food. Mountains of it. Giant cactus-steaks, roasted lizards, entire herds of... something. They were stuffing him, hoping the drugs in the food would finally take down the monster with the 30-million-berry bounty.
Luffy just kept eating.
He ate until the table was a bare, wooden wasteland. He ate until there was a pile of bones and plates taller than he was.
Finally, after consuming what was meant to be the entire town's food supply, Luffy let out a satisfied, steam-whistle-like burp.
"That was... good..." he murmured.
He then deflated like a balloon, his stomach retracting, and fell face-first onto the table, fast asleep.
And then... there was Ben.
Ben, the ultimate wildcard. The terrifying wizard. The bounty hunters had a special plan for him.
He was on a luxurious, cushioned lounge, surrounded by the most beautiful women in all of Whiskey Peak.
They were feeding him grapes. They were fanning him with palm fronds. They were playing with his long, white hair.
"Oh, Ben-sama~" one cooed. "You're so... magical. Your hair is like... silk."
"Tell us another story, wizard-san!" another purred, pouring him another (very, very drugged) cup of wine.
Ben, for his part, was playing the role perfectly. He was laughing, a jolly, "tipsy" laugh. He was winking. He was even doing small, stupid party tricks—making flowers bloom in their hair, turning their wine into harmless, sparkling bubbles.
"Oh, heavens!" he'd laughed. "My... my magic is... slipping! I think... I'm... drunk!"
He drank his fifth cup of drugged wine, gave a final, satisfied sigh, and "passed out," his head resting comfortably on the lap of a very beautiful, very dangerous assassin.