If you thought Raon was scary when she kicked a train into reverse, you should see her fighting Wi-Fi.
Specifically: the studio's new AI content algorithm.
It started harmlessly enough. Management wanted "engagement." Manager Kimchi kept repeating buzzwords like a malfunctioning parrot.
> "Synergy—viral—cross-platform—brand narrative.
Raon, darling, you must fight the algorithm."
Nobody asked how. Nobody asked why. Everyone just assumed Raon could karate-kick their digital problems the same way she flipped kaiju.
I, being a rational human with an IQ above room temperature, attempted logic.
"Raon, you can't kick software."
Raon cracked her knuckles.
"Shion, that's quitter talk."
---
1. The Challenge Arena
The studio had installed an immersive VR "engagement arena." It looked like an eSports stage had a baby with a stock-photo office.
Floating holograms displayed analytics, trending hashtags, and hateful comments from twelve-year-olds playing mobile games.
The Algorithm manifested as an avatar:
A tall, faceless mannequin made of glowing statistic bars.
Its limbs were literal metrics: click-through rates for arms, retention graphs for legs, and a TikTok watermark where its face should be.
"Player detected," it said in a text-to-speech voice that sounded like someone halfway through an existential crisis.
"Engagement below threshold. Punish content creator."
Raon stepped forward.
I tightened my headset. "We don't have to fight—"
Too late. She was already doing stretches.
---
2. Round One — The Hook
The Algorithm summoned a rain of thumbnails—gaudy titles like:
> OMG SHE REALLY DID THIS!!!
One Kick Girl CANCELLED??
Don't click unless you HATE joy 😱
The thumbnails screamed like dying influencers.
Raon's eyes narrowed.
She dodged. She weaved.
One Kick per thumbnail — pixelated explosions everywhere.
BOOM — "Maybe she's WASHED???"
POW — "Top 10 Worst Kicks (She's #1)"
CRACK — "Raon's SECRET BF???"
She flew through the digital debris, kicking commentary into subatomic dust.
The Algorithm recalculated.
"User attention… 72%… increasing. Deploy parasocial attack."
A 3D projection of Raon appeared, but sadder and wearing a hoodie.
Fake-Raon whispered:
> "I'm just misunderstood… like and subscribe…"
Raon froze mid-kick.
"Oh no," she said, horror dawning.
"They're making me… cringe."
I pulled out my emergency backup plan:
A USB drive labeled CLEAN DATA.
"I have anti-cringe protocols!"
Raon karate-chopped Fake-Raon through a trending tab.
---
3. Round Two — The Streamer Gauntlet
The Algorithm spawned a lineup of virtual opponents:
Speedrun Gamer with zero patience.
React streamer who pauses every 3 seconds.
Podcast bro who thinks 'kick power' is a metaphor.
ASMR goblin. (Do not ask. Just imagine whispering but hostile.)
They charged at Raon in slow motion.
She cracked her neck.
"Alright," she muttered. "Time to farm clips."
Her body blurred.
One Kick to the speedrunner.
One Kick to the reactor.
One Kick to the podcast bro.
The ASMR goblin tried to whisper "s-s-subscribe—"
Raon kicked him so hard the subtitles shattered.
Algorithm warnings flashed red:
> LOSS OF VIRALITY
VIOLATION OF CONTENT NORMS
SHE'S NOT MARKETABLE WHAT DO WE DO
I whispered, "Be unpredictable!"
Raon grinned.
---
4. The Forbidden Combo
She charged her foot with something I'd only ever seen in legend.
The One Kick Combo.
Five kicks in five directions at once.
Physics screamed.
The platform's servers spun up like jet engines.
Metric limbs snapped.
Click-through arms shattered.
Retention legs bent backwards like gluten-free pretzels.
The Algorithm flickered, pixelated, and hissed:
> "CONTENT… TOO AUTHENTIC… UNFILTERED… NON-COMPLIANT…"
Then it vaporized into one last shrieking hashtag:
#CANCELLED
---
5. Victory Screen
The arena dissolved.
We reappeared in the studio.
Raon wiped sweat from her brow.
"That was honestly pretty fun," she said.
Manager Kimchi emerged from behind a potted plant, trembling like a leaf in tax season.
"WHAT—HOW—YOU—THAT WAS OUR ENTIRE ALGORITHM BUDGET!"
Raon shrugged.
"Maybe get better content instead of forcing drama."
The man collapsed.
I patted his shoulder.
"Don't worry. I'll build a new one. This time it won't be evil."
Everyone stared at me like I'd promised to resurrect Satan.
Raon smiled.
"Shion, that's quitter talk."
The studio lights flickered ominously.