The five seconds of frozen time passed like a breath.
Far away, Miyuki Uchiha and Uzumaki Kushina were still mid-argument, completely unaware anything impossible had just occurred.
Meanwhile, Luo Hao's brows lifted.
The air currents were wrong—unnatural, like the world had just hiccupped.
"…Hey. Little girl. What did you just do?"
She turned toward Kasumigaoka Utaha, fully expecting an answer.
Utaha didn't answer.
She only stared at the ground with burning cheeks, trying very, very hard to look like she didn't exist.
Jaeger quietly touched his cheek.
…Damp.
And faintly sweet-smelling.
He glanced at Utaha.
Wow… she really did it.
In the original story, Utaha was cool, elegant, poison-tongued, and confidently seductive.
This version?
She had used a time-stop to sneak a kiss like some panicked forbidden-romance heroine.
Time-stop confession…
This girl reads too many doujins.
Nonetheless girl's got some moves!
Jaeger coughed twice—violently—before Luo Hao could interrogate the girl any further.
"Ahem. Anyway—Luo Hao, about Miyuki's mission. Are you planning to attack Iwagakure?"
Instantly, Luo Hao's delicate expression transformed into something bright, unhinged, and terrifyingly enthusiastic.
"Of course. After waking up, I checked the chat history. Iwagakure is currently weak, yes? I shall simply destroy them."
She said it with the same tone someone uses when deciding what to have for lunch.
Jaeger nodded calmly.
Reasonable.
For a god slayer, dropping a hidden village was basically a warm-up stretch.
Her Dragon Roaring, Tiger Howling Arts weren't ninjutsu; they were full-on natural disasters. If she chanted long enough, she could literally send a country into orbit.
The only reason Jaeger didn't panic earlier when they fought…
…was because his Noble Phantasms were cheats so broken they should be illegal in 12 different universes.
If he'd been fresh after transmigration?
He would have clung to Luo Hao like a baby koala clings to a tree.
But now he had a different target.
When Luo Hao fainted earlier, Miyuki had shared intel:
Iwagakure is mobilizing a massive army for a secret operation.
Every major village knew about the movement.
No one knew the motive.
Except Jaeger and Miyuki.
Because they'd watched the anime.
This was the setup for the legendary battle:
The Third Raikage vs. Ten Thousand Iwagakure shinobi.
One man.
Ten thousand enemies.
A myth forged in lightning.
Originally, Miyuki wasn't going to interfere—both Iwa and Kumo were her enemies.
Let the dogs fight.
But Jaeger's presence opened new possibilities.
In canon, the Third Raikage massacred Iwa soldiers, but Iwagakure itself wasn't crippled.
But if she helped the situation become worse…
War would end faster.
And if war ended faster…
She could go home and flirt with cute girls sooner.
Yup.
Pure, noble motivation.
So she told Jaeger everything.
And Jaeger immediately grew excited.
A man with the ultimate Lightning Release, the strongest spear, and the strongest shield…
If Jaeger turned him into a Noble Phantasm?
He started drooling like a gacha player who just saw a limited 5-star banner.
Three Days Later
Three more days passed.
Only three days remained until the chat group forcibly recalled everyone.
Those three days were pure psychological torture for Miyuki Uchiha.
Miyuki Uchiha: "Why? Senpai was happy to come to my world. Luo Hao-sama was happy to come. Kushina was bouncing with excitement."
Miyuki Uchiha: "If you stack three happinesses, they should become ULTRA-HAPPINESS! That's basic math!!"
Miyuki Uchiha: "So why did Senpai reject me?! Why did Kushina start ignoring me?!"
In chat, she ranted like she was writing her tragic autobiography.
In reality, she was curled on the floor like a depressed cat who'd been robbed of snacks.
It took three days of constant hugging and kissing from the girls around her to reboot her soul.
Meanwhile, Esdeath—whose brain was 90% bloodlust and 10% "violence is justice"—gave her exactly zero sympathy.
Only Tohsaka Sakura, small and gentle, patted her virtual back.
Kushina just rolled her eyes.
To be honest, Miyuki was cute, sweet, charming, and very good at spoiling people.
If Miyuki had confessed to her normally, Kushina might've considered it.
BUT—
Kurenai.
Shizune.
Mikoto.
Tsunade-sama.
Her own little sister.
Random foreign kunoichi.
If Kushina weren't a girl herself, she would've beaten Miyuki with a pan.
Playgirl! Shameless flirt! Serial heartbreaker!
No forgiveness!!
So in a fit of emotional flame, Kushina marched to Jaeger.
"Jaeger-san! Take me with you!"
Her eyes sparkled like a battle-maniac who'd been presented with a dream buffet.
"Tens of thousands of shinobi vs. one man—if I miss that, I'll definitely feel itchy for a long time!"
"…I can take you," Jaeger said slowly. "But will your village let their Nine-Tails jinchūriki disappear?"
"It's fine!" Kushina puffed her chest. "I sneaked out with Miyuki. They can't find me anyway."
"…Well, I guess that works."
"And you'll help protect Utaha."
Yes—Utaha was going too.
She had no combat skills besides time-stop, and she very much did not want to spend time with Luo Hao after her rejection. Mostly because the awkwardness was strong enough to be considered an S-rank jutsu.
"YESSSS!" Kushina cheered.
She instantly flickered beside Utaha and hugged her arm.
"Don't worry, Utaha-chan! I'll protect you with my life!"
"…Thank you," Utaha said.
She had already figured out that Kushina was a friendly golden retriever in human form, so she accepted it calmly.
Miyuki Uchiha:"NOOOO! MY KUSHINA!!
Senpai, Saint Jaeger you're literally One Piece Sanji but worse. At least Sanji cooks! YOU just steal everyone's girls!!"
Miyuki Uchiha: "I get tragic love triangles and heartbreak arcs and YOU get girls sticking to both sides of your body?!?"
She screamed in chat while dramatically collapsing in real life.
Tohsaka Sakura: "Miyuki-san… hang in there."
Esdeath: "Good grief. Enough romance. Can we go do the mission?"
Luo Hao: "One moment. I encountered a minor issue."
The moment she typed it, Jaeger and everyone turned toward the horizon.
A 3,000-meter golden Vajra Avatar appeared—its head lost in the clouds, its feet crushing mountains into dust.
"BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"
The giant swung its fist.
Several entire mountain ranges vanished.
The ground cracked like broken glass.
A shockwave swept through the world as if a god had slammed down a hammer.
Luo Hao: "It's settled."
Luo Hao:"I was doing light training. Some shinobi must've tracked the commotion from my duel with Jaeger sometimes ago."
Luo Hao: "Their leader claimed to be Amegakure's leader—Hanzo of the Salamander."
Luo Hao: "He survived one punch from my Vajra Avatar while it still crushed the other ninjas into pulp. Since that version is much weaker than the 20-meter one, I must admit—surviving even one strike makes him worthy of respect."
She typed this casually, like she was rating a gym workout.
Jaeger sighed.
"…I love this woman's energy."
•••
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