Two days after the hearing, the combat assessment arrived.
The entire first-year class assembled in the main training arena, students from all departments. A massive space with reinforced floors, magical barriers to contain damage, and tiered seating for observers.
Which was currently filling up with upper-year students.
"Why are there so many people here?" someone near me muttered.
Master Torvald, our combat instructor, stood at the center of the arena. Scarred, grizzled, looking thoroughly annoyed.
"Listen up!" his voice boomed across the space. "Original plan was a tournament bracket. Rankings based on wins. But given recent... incidents...." his eyes flicked to me , "I'd like to prevent anymore unfriendly competition so I'm changing format."
Murmurs rippled through the students.
"Rankings will be determined by elimination matches. Each of you will face a single opponent. Your score is based on how long you last. Simple, clean, no grudge matches."
"Who's the opponent?" someone called out.
"Me," a familiar voice said.
Lucas Hartwell walked into the arena. Full combat gear, practice sword in hand, looking every inch the Student Council President and combat prodigy.
"Senior Lucas has graciously agreed to serve as your benchmark," Master Torvald continued. "You'll face him one at a time. Fight until you're disarmed, incapacitated, or yield. Time determines your rank. Any questions?"
Nobody dared ask any.
I looked at the gathered upper-years in the stands. Sera sat among them, blonde hair catching the light. Theodore was there too, watching with calculating eyes. Other third years I didn't recognize.
They were here to watch us get destroyed by Lucas. Entertainment.
"This is going to be interesting," Asura said in my head. She was physically back in the dorm but could still communicate telepathically. "You going to fight him?"
I have to. It's the assessment.
"But can you? Without freezing up?"
I'll manage.
The matches began.
Students stepped up one by one. Lucas destroyed them with efficient brutality. Not with any kind of cruelty, he didn't humiliate anyone. Just clinical, precise, overwhelming.
Average time that most students lasted was about a minute
Some lasted less. A few lasted slightly more. But the pattern was clear Lucas was on a completely different level.
Then the exceptional students.
First was Damian Cross. Tall, confident, fire mage. He lasted sixteen minutes through sheer endurance and creative magic use. The crowd actually applauded when Lucas finally disarmed him.
Second was Eren Vale. Earth specialization, defensive alchemy. Splashing potions that quite literally summoned barricades out of earth. He drank potions mid fight to boost his mana capacity. Twelve minutes of stubborn resistance before Lucas broke through.
Third was Sophia Reeves. Wind magic, incredible speed, she was also in the combat department, she made use of a rapier, her quick strikes and elegant footwork were, just beautiful, but over all she was lacking in physical strength, and could not make up for it with mana. She danced around Lucas for nine minutes before making a mistake he capitalized on instantly.
These were the top three of our year. Genuine prodigies.
Then it was my turn.
"Aldric Ashford," Master Torvald called.
I walked to the center of the arena. Every step felt heavy. The crowd was watching. Sera was watching. Theodore was there too.
Lucas stood across from me, practice sword ready. Professional. Neutral.
The exact same stance he'd taken in our duel two years ago.
My vision blurred.
Suddenly I wasn't in the Academy arena. I was in the Ashford manor courtyard. Two years ago. Crowd watching. Sera's broken wrist. The humiliation of loss.
My hands started shaking.
"Ready?" Lucas asked.
No. No, I wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to face him again. Wasn't ready for everyone to watch me lose again.
"Breathe," Asura's voice, urgent. "Deep breaths. You're having a panic attack. Breathe through it."
I tried. Couldn't. My chest was tight. Vision tunneling. Heart racing so fast it hurt.
I looked at the stands. Found Sera. She was watching with that same neutral expression. Probably expecting me to lose. Probably wanting me to lose.
Lucas stood there. And expression of perplexity, muddled with genuine kindness and effortless power. Everything I wasn't. Everything I'd tried to be and failed.
The man who'd beaten me then. Would beat me now. In front of everyone.
Again.
I turned around.
Started walking toward the exit.
"Ashford!" Master Torvald's voice. "If you forfeit, you'll be ranked dead last. Bottom of the class. You'll be flagged for removal at year's end if you don't improve. Do you understand?"
"I understand."
"Then why...."
"I forfeit." My voice was flat. Dead. "Rank me last. I don't care."
I kept walking.
The crowd erupted in whispers.
"He's just giving up?"
"Coward...."
"Too scared to even try..."
From the stands, I heard Theodore's voice, dripping with contempt: "Pathetic."
I ignored them all. Kept walking.
"Aldric, wait."
Lucas's voice. Closer now. He'd followed me.
I didn't stop.
"You're not even going to try? You're just going to run away?"
"Yes."
"That's not like you. The same person who destroyed a training room fighting Theodore. The one who pinned him to a wall. From my experience that person doesn't run."
"That person was angry. This person is smart enough to know when he can't win."
"You don't know you can't win unless you try."
I stopped walking. Turned to face him. "I know. I've fought you before, remember? Two years ago. I know exactly how badly I'd lose."
Lucas's expression shifted, he paused to remember the situation they met. Recognition. "The banquet. oh! I remember now. You were that spoiled brat I dueled"
"Yes. And I'm not repeating that humiliation. So I forfeit. Rank me last. I'll deal with the consequences."
"You'd rather be removed from the Academy than fight me?"
"I'd rather not give everyone another show of me failing."
Lucas studied me. Then his expression hardened.
"I see. You're not afraid of losing. You're afraid of being seen losing. Of being judged. Of being humiliated." His voice gained an edge I'd never heard. "That's even more pathetic than just being weak. You're just some ego oriented kid. You refuse to fight because you think loosing will make you look bad?"
The words stung.
"At least weak students try. At least they have the courage to face their limits." Lucas's voice carried across the arena. "But you? You'd rather quit than risk your pride. That's not smart. That's cowardice."
"He's baiting you," Asura warned. "Trying to make you angry enough to fight. Don't fall for it."
"I've seen actual cowards," Lucas continued. "Students who freeze in combat. Who can't handle pressure. They at least step up and try. But you? You have skill. I've seen it. You beat Theodore. And you're throwing it away because you're scared of what people will think."
"I'm not scared!"
"Then prove it. Turn around and fight me. Show everyone you're not the coward they think you are."
"I don't care what they think."
"Liar. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be running." His voice dropped, became almost conversational. "You know what I think? I think you're still that same person from two years ago. The one who hurt someone just because he couldn't handle his own insecurity. The one who challenged someone to a duel he knew he'd lose because at least losing with honor was better than being ignored."
My fists clenched.
"I remember that duel now. You broke Sera's wrist, didn't you? Your friend. You hurt her because you couldn't control yourself. Couldn't handle whatever was eating at you." Lucas's eyes were cold now. "And now you're doing the same thing. Running from anything that might make you look weak."
I stopped walking.
Turned fully to face him.
Every word was true. Every accusation accurate. And it burned.
"You want me to fight you," I said quietly. "Why?"
"Because I'm tired of people wasting potential. Because you're better than this and you know it.
I looked up at the stands. She was leaning forward slightly. Watching.
Waiting to see if I'd run or fight.
Every instinct screamed at me to fight. To avoid the humiliation. To protect what little pride I had left.
Fighting Lucas wouldn't make things right. Wouldn't fix what I'd done. Wouldn't change Sera's opinion of me.
But running would confirm everything they thought. Would prove I was the same coward who'd rather hurt people than face his own weakness.
I looked at Lucas. At his stance. At the genuine challenge in his eyes.
Then at the exit.
At freedom. At safety. At the easy path.
I started walking again.
Toward the exit.
"Aldric,"
"I forfeit," I said again. "Rank me last. I'll earn my way up from the bottom."
The arena was silent. Stunned.
Lucas didn't follow this time. Just watched me leave.
From the stands, Theodore's voice rang out with rage and contempt: "This bastard probably gets a kick out of pretending to be weak, he enjoys feeling superior when he beats someone who everyone thought was stronger than him.....This coward?"
His goons murmured in Agreement.
I kept walking until I was outside. Until I couldn't hear them anymore.
Then I ran.
Back in my dorm room, Asura was still sitting on my bed.
"What the hell was that?!" Her tiny ten-year-old face was furious. "You didn't even try! You just walked away!"
"I forfeited."
"I can see that! Why?!"
"Because I couldn't fight him." I collapsed onto the bed. "I tried. I stood there. And I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. All I could see was that duel two years ago. Everyone watching me fail."
"So you gave up? That's your solution? Just quit?"
"Better than fighting and freezing up in the middle. Better than everyone seeing me panic."
"It's not better! It's worse! Now everyone thinks you're a coward!"
"I am a coward."
"YOU'RE NOT...." She stopped, took a breath. When she spoke again, her voice was calmer but still angry. "You beat Theodore. You stood up to him when no one else would. That's not cowardice."
"That was anger. This was different."
Maya floated through the wall, literally through it. "What happened? The other students are saying you forfeited without fighting."
"I did."
"Why?"
I explained. The panic. My history with Lucas and Sera. The inability to move. Everything.
Maya listened quietly. When I finished, she settled into her usual spot near the window.
"Lucas Hartwell was the one who beat you in that duel?" she asked.
"Yes."
"And you broke Seraphina Blackwood's wrist."
"Yes."
"Sera." Maya's voice became softer. "I knew her. She's my senior. We were close."
I looked up. "You knew Sera?"
"Very well. She was kind to everyone. Genuine. She even used to braid my hair before..." Maya touched her own blue hair. "Before I died. We were close friends."
The guilt intensified. Of course Maya had known Sera.
"She's nice to everyone," Maya continued. "Helpful. Patient. Except with you."
"I know."
"And you know why."
"Because I hurt her. Because I was stupid and broke her wrist and challenged someone to a duel over her like she was property."
"Yes." Maya floated closer. "You hurt her, with no apology, no explanation. And she hasn't forgiven you. Probably never will, unless..."
"Unless what?"
"Unless you actually apologize. Properly. Not just saying sorry in a hallway. Real apology. Acknowledging what you did wrong. Not making excuses. Not asking for forgiveness. Just... being genuinely sorry."
"She won't accept it."
"Maybe not. But it's a start. It's the first step to making things right." Maya's grey eyes were serious. "I think you subconsciously know this. That's why you couldn't fight Lucas. Because part of you knows you need to make things right with Sera before you can move forward."
Asura had calmed down, was listening thoughtfully. "The ghost has a point. You're carrying guilt. It's making you weak. You need to deal with it."
"How? She hates me."
"By apologizing," Maya said simply. "Find her. Tell her you're sorry. Mean it. Then accept whatever happens next."
It sounded impossible. Terrifying. Sera wouldn't want to hear from me. Would probably tell me to leave her alone.
But Maya was right. I couldn't move forward while dragging this guilt behind me.
"Okay," I said finally. "I'll apologize. Properly. When I find the right moment."
"Now," Asura said. "Do it now. Before you lose your nerve."
"I can't just...."
"Yes you can. Go find her. Apologize. We'll wait here." She pushed me toward the door. "Go. Before you chicken out again."
Maya nodded encouragingly.
I didn't want to. Wanted to put it off. Wait for the perfect time that would never come.
But they were right. If I waited, I'd never do it.
I left the dorm. Started searching the Academy.
Sera probably wasn't in her dorm. Diamond Dorm residents had a strict visitor policy, and the desk attendant wouldn't even confirm if she was there.
Not in the library. Not in the dining hall. Not in the training areas.
I searched for over an hour. Checked everywhere I could think of.
Nothing.
Finally, exhausted and defeated, I returned to my room.
"Did you find her?" Maya asked.
"No. She's not anywhere I looked."
"Then try again tomorrow."
"Tomorrow she'll be even less willing to talk to me. After today's assessment, after I forfeited and looked like a coward..."
"Then you apologize for that too," Asura said pragmatically. "Apologize for everything. Make it a comprehensive apology."
"That's not how apologies work."
"Sure it is. Just throw everything in there. 'Sorry I broke your wrist, sorry I was possessive, sorry I forfeited today, sorry I'm generally a disaster as a human being.' Boom. Complete apology."
Despite everything, I almost smiled. "You're terrible at this."
"I'm a demon. Social niceties aren't my strong suit." She climbed onto the bed, claimed her spot. "But the offer stands. Tomorrow, find her. Apologize properly. Then you can start actually dealing with your trauma instead of running from it."
Maya floated near the ceiling. "She's right. You can't move forward while dragging your past. Trust me. I know what it's like to be stuck."
I lay down on my side of the bed. "Tomorrow. I'll find her tomorrow."
"Good," Asura said. "Now sleep. You look terrible."
"I'd want to say, that its just afternoon, but I'm wiped out."
"You're welcome."
I closed my eyes. But sleep didn't come easily.
Kept seeing Lucas's face. Sera's expression. The contempt of the crowd. Theodore's anger.
I'd made everything worse today. Confirmed everyone's worst opinions of me. Proved I was exactly what they thought. A coward who ran when things got hard.
But tomorrow, I'd start fixing it.
Tomorrow, I'd find Sera and apologize.
Tomorrow, I'd take the first step toward being better.
Tomorrow.
If I could find her.
If she'd even listen.
If it wasn't already too late.
I fell asleep with those doubts circling my mind.