Heart Kingdom Border - The Great River
Current Activity: River Cruise (With Monsters)
The river was beautiful. If you ignored the fifty-foot waterfall they had just dropped down.
Finral held the rudder of the magic boat, screaming.
Asta held the side of the boat, screaming.
Noelle held her hair in place, screaming internally.
Saitama sat in the front, eating an orange.
"This fruit is good," Saitama munched, tossing the peel into the water where a piranha the size of a cow ate it instantly. "Juicy. And free."
"Master," Genos stood at the bow, scanning the lush, vibrant jungle surrounding them. "This environment is heavily saturated with Mana. The plants are photosynthesizing magic instead of sunlight. Analysis: This entire country is a Bio-Reactor."
"It's called the Heart Kingdom!" Mimosa Vermillion chirped, acting as their tour guide. "We coexist with natural mana! It's peaceful here!"
ZAP.
A bolt of lightning struck the water five feet from the boat. Steam hissed. Dead fish floated up.
"Peaceful," Saitama noted. "Just like Sunday morning sales."
The mist cleared. Hovering above the water was a man. He looked serious. He had floating lightning runes around him.
Gadjah. The Spirit Guardian of Lightning.
"Intruders," Gadjah spoke calmly. "Queen Lolopechka has authorized entry. But... I must verify your strength. The threats facing the world are not for tourists."
He looked at Asta (Demon dweller). Strong.
He looked at Noelle (Royal). Strong.
He looked at Saitama (Bald tourist).
"You," Gadjah pointed at Saitama. "The man with no mana. Are you the porter?"
Saitama swallowed his orange segment. "I'm the hero. Sort of. More like... freelance problem solver."
"Freelance?" Gadjah narrowed his eyes. "The Heart Kingdom requires commitment."
Gadjah moved.
Lightning Magic: True Lightning Magic.
He didn't cast a spell. He became the phenomenon. He moved at the speed of a thunderclap, appearing behind Saitama with a finger aimed at his back.
"Can you react?" Gadjah whispered.
In the Magic Knights' eyes, Gadjah teleported. He was faster than Luck. Faster than anyone.
But to Saitama...
Saitama turned his head lazily.
"Do you have a charger?" Saitama asked. "Genos is running low."
Gadjah froze. His finger was an inch from Saitama's spine. But the bald man had turned during the lightning movement.
"He... tracked me?" Gadjah thought, cold sweat beading on his forehead. "Without sensing Ki or Mana?"
Saitama looked at the floating runes.
"Are those neon signs?" Saitama poked a rune.
POOF.
The rune shattered. Gadjah's spell fizzled out.
Gadjah retreated instantly, flying back twenty feet. He panted. His instincts—honed by defending the Queen for a decade—screamed one word: Monster.
"You pass," Gadjah said, voice stiff. "Follow me. And... please don't poke the defense grid."
"Tell him not to be so sparkly," Saitama mumbled to Asta.
The Palace of Water
The palace was a masterpiece of water architecture. Walls of cascading falls. Floors made of solidified liquid. It smelled like rain and flowers.
"It's so fancy!" Asta yelled, his echo bouncing off the water-walls.
"Be polite, Asta," Noelle chided, fixing her dress. "We are meeting a Queen. A Spirit-User Queen. She oversees the entire kingdom with the Water Spirit, Undine."
"Water Spirit?" Genos processed this. "A localized hydro-kinetic entity with omniscience. Threat Level: High."
They entered the throne room. It was flooded (intentionally).
A massive curtain of water parted.
There, on a throne of coral and pearls, sat Queen Lolopechka. She wore glasses. She looked regal. Divine. Powerful.
"Welcome," she said, standing up. Her voice was melody itself. "Heroes of the Clo..."
She took one step.
Her foot caught on the hem of her incredibly long dress.
"Ah?"
Trip.
She fell forward.
Usually, a fall is just a thud.
But Lolopechka's mana was connected to the entire country's water supply. When she panicked, the water panicked.
"EEEEEK!" Lolopechka screamed.
The water in the room—millions of gallons—surged. A tidal wave materialized inside the throne room, washing toward the door.
"THE QUEEN!" Gadjah shouted, diving to save her.
"Tsunami!" Noelle cried, activating her shield.
The wave crashed over the Black Bulls.
When the water receded...
Asta was choking on a goldfish.
Genos was hanging from a chandelier, dripping.
Noelle was soaking wet (again).
Yami (who had refused to come because of travel sickness) was lucky back home.
And Saitama?
He was standing there. Completely dry.
Well, mostly. His feet were wet. But he was holding the Queen up by the back of her dress, suspending her face inches from the floor.
"You dropped this," Saitama said.
Lolopechka blinked behind her fogged glasses. "U-Uh?"
She dangled there like a cat.
"I..." Lolopechka turned beat-red. "I tripped! I'm so clumsy! I'm sorry! Are you drowned?!"
Saitama set her upright. "Just my socks. Wet socks are the worst though. It's like stepping on a slug."
A massive shape rose from the water behind the throne. A woman made of water, towering over them.
Undine. The Water Spirit.
"UNHAND HER!" Undine roared, blasting a water cannon at Saitama. "You touch the Priestess?! Brute!"
Saitama just batted the water blast away.
Splash.
It hit the wall.
"She fell," Saitama pointed out. "I caught her. Is 'Thank You' not a thing in the wet kingdom?"
Undine paused. Her eyes—blue deep oceans—scanned Saitama.
She couldn't see him.
"Lolopechka," Undine whispered, shrinking down to human size to float next to the Queen. "This man... I can't read his soul. He has no mana. It's like... a void. A hole in the world."
"Really?" Lolopechka adjusted her glasses. She looked closely at Saitama's smooth head.
"He's shiny," the Queen noted.
"I get that a lot," Saitama sighed.
The Feast (Of Course)
To apologize for the tsunami, Lolopechka ordered a feast.
Fruits. River fish. Strange jelly things that glowed.
Saitama was in heaven.
"It's all free?" he asked for the tenth time.
"Yes!" Lolopechka smiled, spilling tea on herself. "The Heart Kingdom is rich in nature's bounty. Eat as much as you like!"
"Challenge accepted."
Charmy (who had snuck into Asta's backpack) burst out. "DID SOMEONE SAY FEAST?!"
Within minutes, Charmy and Saitama were decimating the table. Genos was analyzing the glowing jelly ("High viscosity, Mana-enriched electrolytes. Recommended for recharge").
But the mood shifted.
Lolopechka put down her cup. Her smile faded.
"You fought the Devil in the Clover Kingdom," she said softly. "Zagred."
"Master shushed him," Genos corrected. "Literally."
"That is... impressive," Lolopechka said. "But Zagred was just a pawn. A drifter."
She pulled down the collar of her dress slightly.
On her abdomen, creeping up toward her chest, was a black, rotting curse mark.
The room went cold.
"I have been cursed," the Queen stated. "By a devil named Megicula. He inhabits a human in the Spade Kingdom. Vanica Zogratis."
"Megicula," Noelle gripped her fork until it bent. "That's the name... the devil that killed my mother."
"I have one year left," Lolopechka smiled sadly. "Before the curse kills me. And when I die, the wisdom of the Heart Kingdom, Undine's protection... it all vanishes. The Spade Kingdom will overrun us. And they plan to open the Qliphoth Tree to unleash all the devils."
Saitama stopped chewing his fish.
"All of them?" Saitama asked.
"Ten," Gadjah explained grimly. "Ten Supreme Devils. Each one stronger than Zagred. The final one... Lucifero... can destroy the world just by existing."
Genos looked at Saitama. "Master. Lucifero. That was the 'Gravity Store Manager' you punched on arrival."
"Oh right," Saitama nodded. "He was annoying. Broke my eggs."
"Wait..." Lolopechka stared. "You... punched Lucifero? But he is in the underworld! He hasn't emerged!"
"He tried to pop out," Saitama explained vaguely. "I popped him back in."
Lolopechka looked at Undine. Undine looked at Gadjah.
"This man," Undine said. "We cannot measure him by standard logic. But Vanica... Vanica possesses Curse Magic. It doesn't attack physically. It rots fate. It rots life."
She looked at Saitama.
"Can you punch a Curse?"
Saitama finished his fish. He looked at the mark on the Queen's stomach.
"I dunno," Saitama said. "Maybe if I hit the guy who cast it really hard."
"That's the plan!" Asta yelled, standing up. "We invade Spade! We kick Vanica's butt! We save the Queen! Right?!"
"Correct," Lolopechka nodded. "But right now... you are too weak."
Asta fell over. "Weak?!"
"Yes," Gadjah stepped forward, sparks flying. "Compared to a Supreme Devil host at 100%, you are insects. You need to learn the Heart Kingdom's technique. Mana Method. Using natural runes to create real elements."
"Training Arc!" Asta cheered.
Saitama groaned. "Training? Again? I'd rather do squats."
"Actually," Gadjah looked at Genos. "The metal man. You. You use runes on your machine-book, yes?"
Genos held up his rusty-chrome grimoire. "Affirmative."
"Your application is crude," Gadjah criticized. "Inefficient. Stay with me. I will teach you how to write runes directly onto your metal skeleton. You could process mana faster than any human."
Genos's sensors dilated. "Internal Upgrade? Runes on Chassis? Efficiency boost?"
Genos grabbed Saitama's shoulder.
"Master! I request permission to stay and acquire 'Cool Rune Tattoos'!"
Saitama shrugged. "Sure. As long as I don't have to learn math."
"You, Bald One," Undine floated down. "You have no mana. Mana Method is useless to you."
"Good," Saitama said. "Can I nap?"
"No," Undine smirked. "You will be my sparring partner. I want to see if a 'Tsunami' can drown a 'Black Hole'."
Two Weeks Later - Training Montage
Genos was sitting in a lightning storm, Gadjah carving glowing runes onto his chest plates with magic.
"PAIN RECEPTORS: MUTED. AESTHETICS: BADASS."
Asta was trying to write words with his sword in the air. "It just says 'POTATO'!"
Noelle was battling Undine, learning to create True Water Magic.
And Saitama?
Saitama was standing in the middle of a lake. Undine was throwing leviathans at him.
"Ludic Sanctuary!" Undine shouted. Giant water monsters shaped like sharks bit Saitama.
Chomp.
Saitama pried the water jaws open.
"I'm bored," he bubbled underwater. "When is lunch?"
Undine was sweating. He's been underwater for 20 minutes without breathing. He just treats the water like it's thick air. He's... terrifying.
Nighttime - The Campfire
Saitama sat looking at the stars. The air here was clean. The food was good.
But he felt it.
That itch.
"Saitama-sensei?" Asta sat down next to him. "You okay? You look serious."
"Asta."
"Yeah?"
"That curse mark on the Queen," Saitama poked the fire. "It smells bad."
"Smells?"
"Like the deep sea guy. But older. Rottener."
Saitama clenched his gloved hand.
"The bad guys are coming here," Saitama said. "Soon."
Asta gripped his sword. "Then we'll be ready! We'll get stronger!"
"I'm not worried about you getting stronger," Saitama looked at the young bull. "I'm worried you're gonna break if you push too hard. Take a rest day, kid. Muscles need rest."
Asta stared. Then he grinned. "YES MASTER SAITAMA! REST DAY... STARTING NOW! ...Okay, rest day over! ONE HUNDRED PUSHUPS!"
Saitama sighed. "Hopeless."
Meanwhile: The Spade Kingdom
Vanica Zogratis was putting on her eyepatch. She checked her reflection. The Devil Mark covered half her face.
"Dante says wait," she pouted. "Zenon says wait. But I'm booooored."
Her devil, Megicula, whispered in her ear.
"The Queen is weak. But Undine... and the Anomaly... I want to test them."
Vanica grinned. She grabbed her followers—the Dark Disciples.
"Let's go say hi!" Vanica cheered. "Let's go destroy the Heart Kingdom! Maybe I can make the Queen cry before I kill her!"
She opened a window, letting the blizzard in.
"I wonder if the Bald Guy bounces?"