Pain.
That was the whole world. Just pain.
It tasted like copper. It smelled like ozone and crushed rock. It felt like the sky itself had decided to fall down and crush Asta into a stain on the dirt.
Asta couldn't move. He tried. God, he tried. His muscles screamed, tearing against the pressure, but his body wouldn't obey. His Devil Union mode? Gone. Liebbe? Unconscious inside the grimoire.
"Kneel," the voice said. It wasn't loud. It didn't need to be. It vibrated in Asta's bones.
Lucifero. The King of Devils.
Gravity didn't just push down; it erased. The ground around Asta wasn't just broken; it was powder. Dust. Beside him, Yuno was face-down, his Spirit Dive shattered, the green light of the wind spirit barely a flicker. Captain Yami, Captain Nacht... they were piles of broken limbs in the distance.
"I am the King," Lucifero stated, bored. Just... bored. He raised a hand, palm open. Black miasma swirled, warping the light. "And insects should be crushed."
Get up, Asta screamed internally. GET UP! I promised! I'M GONNA BE THE WIZARD KING!
He forced a finger to twitch. Then another.
"Still struggling?" Lucifero smirked. It was a cruel, beautiful expression. "How tragic."
The gravity doubled.
CRACK.
Asta's vision went white. The air was forced out of his lungs. This was it. Not just defeat. Extinction. The Magic Knights were done. The Clover Kingdom was done. Humanity was—
SKRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The sound wasn't magic. It wasn't the scream of a devil.
It was the sound of reality tearing open like a cheap bag of chips.
Lucifero paused, looking up. The crushing gravity wavered for a split second. That was all Asta needed to gasp for air. He turned his head, dirt grinding into his cheek.
Above the battlefield, right between the smoking ruins of the Spade Kingdom castle and the blackened sun, the sky split. Not a portal. A tear. Jagged. Glitching. Multicolor static bled into the grey gloom of the demon world.
"Warning," a mechanical voice echoed from the rift. "Gravitational anomaly detected. Entering freefall."
"My leeks!" a second voice yelled. "Genos, grab the bag!"
Two figures plummeted from the tear.
They didn't float. They didn't fly with wind magic. They fell like sacks of potatoes.
THUD. SMASH.
They impacted the ground about fifty meters from Lucifero. The dust cloud was massive, obscuring them instantly.
The battlefield went silent. Even Lucifero looked confused. He hadn't sensed them coming. There was no mana. Zero. Nothing.
"Who dares?" Lucifero lowered his hand.
"That," the robotic voice came from the dust cloud, sounding crisp and irritated, "was a suboptimal landing trajectory. However, my shock absorption cushions protected the eggs. Master, are you injured?"
"I'm fine," the second voice said. Deadpan. Completely flat. "But look at this, Genos. The coupon specifically said 'Valid until 5 PM.' Do you know what time it is?"
"Sensors indicate we are no longer in our local time zone, Master Saitama."
"What? Again?"
The dust cleared.
Asta blinked, trying to clear the blood from his eyes. He had to be hallucinating. The blood loss finally got him.
Standing there, in the middle of a literal apocalypse, was a tin can and an egg.
Okay, not literally. One was a blonde cyborg, metal arms gleaming, eyes glowing yellow, steam hissing from vents in his shoulders. He looked cool. Really cool.
The other guy?
Yellow jumpsuit. Red gloves. White cape.
And bald. So incredibly bald. His head reflected the fires of the burning battlefield. He held a plastic bag in one hand, staring at a crumpled piece of paper in the other with a look of devastation more intense than Asta had seen on people dying.
"Who...?" Yuno wheezed from the dirt nearby. "Who are they?"
Lucifero's eye twitched.
This was an insult. A mockery. The Supreme Devil, manifestation of despair, ignored for... coupons?
"Insects!" Lucifero roared.
The gravity slammed down again.
This was the pressure that had flattened captains. It was the weight that crushed ancient demons. It warped space itself.
The ground around the two strangers imploded. A crater formed instantly, ten feet deep.
Asta braced himself for the gore. They had no mana. No reinforcement magic. They would be paste.
"My udon," the bald man said.
Asta's eyes popped open.
They were still standing.
They weren't kneeling. They weren't shaking. The cyborg was braced slightly, servos whirring loud enough to hear over the wind, legs sunk into the bedrock. But the bald guy?
He hadn't moved. The cape wasn't even fluttering downwards. It defied physics.
"Master," Genos said, scanning Lucifero with glowing eyes. "Scanning complete. High-energy readings detected. The gravity in this localized area is six hundred times standard earth gravity. Hostile entity identified."
"Is he a store manager?" the bald guy—Saitama—asked. "Maybe he honors expired coupons."
Genos raised an incinerator arm. "Unlikely. His biological signature suggests: Demon. Threat Level: Dragon. Possibly God. He appears to be the source of the structural damage to this city."
Lucifero stepped forward. The air screamed around him. He looked pissed. Properly, royally pissed. "You withstand my presence? You filth. Do you not know who I am?"
Saitama looked up. Finally.
"Don't care," he said. He dug a finger into his ear and wiggled it. "Hey, do you know where a supermarket is? We're kinda lost."
Silence.
Absolute, terrifying silence.
"Mockery," Lucifero whispered. The ground began to liquify. "MOCKERY!"
Asta felt the change in the air. Lucifero wasn't playing anymore.
"MOVE!" Asta tried to shout, but it came out as a gargle. "HE'S GONNA KILL YOU!"
Lucifero vanished.
No, he didn't vanish. He just moved faster than eyes could track. In a fraction of a heartbeat, the Supreme Devil was in front of Saitama. A fist, wrapped in enough gravitational energy to crack a tectonic plate, hammered toward the bald hero's face.
"Incinerate!" Genos screamed.
The cyborg was fast. Unbelievably fast. He threw himself between his master and the devil, chest core glowing like a second sun. A blast of spiraling fire—hotter than anything Asta had felt from the Vermillion siblings—erupted.
Lucifero swatted the fire away with the back of his hand.
CLANG.
He backhanded Genos.
Metal shrieked. The cyborg went flying—no, he was deleted from the spot, turning into a gold-and-silver streak that smashed through three mountains in the distance.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
"GENOS!" Saitama didn't sound panicked. Just... vaguely concerned. Like he dropped a spoon.
"Now you," Lucifero hissed.
The fist connected.
It hit Saitama's jaw.
The shockwave leveled the ruins of the Spade castle. Asta and Yuno were blown back like leaves, tumbling over the ravaged earth. A mushroom cloud of dust and debris rose into the stratosphere. The sound arrived a second later—a crack that ruptured eardrums.
It was over. Had to be. That punch had enough power to end a country.
Lucifero stood amidst the smoke, breathing heavily. "Disgusting trash without even a speck of magic. To think you stood before m—"
"Ow."
The voice cut through the dust.
Lucifero froze.
The smoke swirled away.
Saitama was standing there. Same spot.
He rubbed his chin. There was a scuff mark—no, that was just dirt. He wasn't bleeding. He wasn't bruised. He looked... disappointed.
"You ruined the leeks," Saitama said.
He held up the plastic bag. The vegetables inside were mush. A carton of eggs dripped yellow yolk onto the scorched ground.
"What..." Lucifero took a step back. For the first time in his existence, the concept of confusion entered his mind. "What are you?"
Saitama sighed. A heavy, soul-deep sigh that spoke of missed sales and endless boredom. He dropped the bag.
"I needed those for hotpot," Saitama muttered. He clenched his right fist. "And Genos is gonna be pieces again. He's expensive to fix."
Asta watched, paralyzed. He felt something. Not ki. Not mana.
He felt heaviness.
It wasn't gravity. It was the sensation of a massive object blocking out the sun. It was the feeling of standing next to a falling avalanche.
Saitama stepped forward.
"Gravity," Lucifero screamed, panic rising in his voice. "SINGULARITY!"
A black hole—a literal black hole the size of a carriage—formed in front of Saitama's face. Space warped. Light bent.
Saitama didn't blink. He just pulled his fist back.
"Killer Move," Saitama murmured.
He punched the black hole.
"Serious Series: Serious Punch."
The world went silent.
Sound couldn't keep up.
Asta saw it happen in slow motion, even though it happened in a nanosecond.
Saitama's red glove connected with the singularity.
The black hole didn't absorb the punch. It shattered.
Like glass. Reality just... broke.
The force traveled through the singularity and hit Lucifero.
The Supreme Devil, the strongest being in the underworld, didn't scream. He didn't have time. His torso stretched, his eyes bulged, and then—
ZOOM.
Lucifero was gone.
Behind him, the air split. The clouds above the continent didn't just part; they were erased. A massive tunnel of vacuum, fifty miles wide, stretched from the Spade Kingdom all the way to the horizon, carving a trench through the ocean beyond.
The sky turned blue.
The demonic clouds were blown away instantly, revealing the stars.
The wind hit them five seconds later. A hurricane generated by a single fist. Asta dug his fingers into the bedrock to keep from being blown away. Yami's limp body rolled past, smacking into a rock.
"What..." Asta yelled over the howling gale. "WHAT WAS THAAAAAAAT?!"
Then, stillness.
The wind died down. The dust settled.
Lucifero was gone. There wasn't a body. There was just a directional line of destruction extending literally halfway across the world.
Saitama stood there, fist still extended. Smoke curled off his red glove.
He lowered his hand. He looked at the ruined grocery bag.
"Man," he said. "This sucks."
A strange mechanical whirring sound approached.
A very crumpled, sparking Genos limped out of a pile of rubble. He was missing an arm, his left leg was dragging, and half his faceplate was gone, revealing the creepy skull-teeth underneath.
"Master!" Genos gargled, static distorting his voice. "Analysis confirms... threat neutralized. Your punch generated sufficient air pressure to propel the hostile entity into low orbit. Trajectory suggests he will land in the ocean in... three seconds."
SPLASH.
A distant, massive tsunami sound confirmed it.
"You okay, Genos?" Saitama asked, kicking a rock.
"Vital systems functioning at 14%," Genos reported. "Self-repair initiating. Master, I detect indigenous life forms still conscious."
Saitama looked over.
He saw Asta.
Asta, covered in blood, hair matted, clutching his anti-magic sword like a lifeline, was staring at Saitama with his mouth hanging so wide open a bird could nest in it. Yuno was trying to stand up, his typically stoic face replaced by sheer, unadulterated shock.
"Hey," Saitama said. "Do you guys live here?"
Asta's brain rebooted. "UH! UM! I! YES!?"
"Great." Saitama walked over. He looked so normal. Just a guy. "Do you know where the closest supermarket is? I need eggs. Preferably cheap ones."
Yuno blinked. He looked at the crater where the strongest devil in existence used to be. He looked at the horizon-splitting trench in the sky. He looked at the bald man picking his nose.
"You..." Yuno's voice cracked. "You defeated Lucifero. With one hit."
"Lucifero?" Saitama tilted his head. "Is that a band?"
"He was the King of Devils!" Asta screamed, finally finding his voice. He scrambled to his feet, ignoring the pain. He ran up to Saitama, getting right in his face. Stars were literally sparkling in Asta's eyes.
"YOU HAVE NO MAGIC! I CAN SENSE IT! YOU HAVE ZERO MAGIC!"
Saitama leaned back. "Woah, personal space, kid. You're loud."
"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" Asta was vibrating. "How did you get so strong?! Did you use a devil contract? Is it a curse? Ancient technology?"
Genos hobbled forward, his one good eye glowing menacingly. "Step back. Do not demand Master Saitama's secrets so casually."
"No, I need to know!" Asta grabbed Saitama's cape. "Please! I have no magic either! I trained so hard! I want to be the Wizard King! But you... you're stronger than anything I've ever seen! TEACH ME!"
Saitama looked down at the short, loud, grey-haired kid.
He reminded him of someone. Maybe a mix of Genos and Mumen Rider, but louder.
"You want to know?" Saitama asked.
The battlefield went quiet again. The surviving captains—Nozel, Fuegoleon—were dragging themselves closer, listening. This was it. The secret to god-killing power.
Asta nodded frantically. "YES!"
Saitama's face turned serious. Shadows fell over his eyes. The art style of his face suddenly became detailed, intense, heroic.
"Listen clearly," Saitama said deep voice.
"I'm listening!"
"100 Push-ups!"
Asta blinked. "...Huh?"
"100 Sit-ups!" Saitama continued, counting on his fingers.
"Wait..."
"100 Squats!"
"Hold on..."
"AND A 10 KILOMETER RUN!" Saitama shouted, pointing at the sky. "EVERY SINGLE DAY!"
Silence stretched across the ruined Spade Kingdom.
"And," Saitama added, his face returning to the goofy egg-shape. "Make sure you eat three meals a day. A banana in the morning is fine. And never use the AC in the summer or heat in the winter. To strengthen the mind."
Asta stared.
Genos took out a notepad and scribbled furiously. "He omitted the part about mental fortitude! I must update the logs!"
"THAT'S IT?!" Asta screamed. "THAT'S JUST A NORMAL WORKOUT!"
"It's not just a normal workout," Saitama said, looking offended. "It's hell. I went bald because of it."
"THERE'S NO WAY THAT KILLED A DEVIL GOD!" Asta pointed at the horizon. "THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"
Saitama shrugged. "It is what it is." He looked around. "So... supermarket?"
Yami, who had been listening while lying in a pool of his own blood nearby, let out a rough cough.
"Hah..." Yami wheezed, blowing smoke from a cigarette he'd somehow managed to light. "Baldy. You punch hard."
Saitama looked at the massive muscular man on the ground. "You look beat up, old man."
"I'm twenty-nine," Yami rasped.
"Rough paper round."
"Listen," Yami groaned, sitting up. "You saved our asses. And you want food? I know a place in the capital. Best meat in the kingdom. On me."
Saitama's eyes—which had been dead fish eyes a second ago—suddenly sharpened. "Free meat?"
"All you can eat," Yami lied. He was bleeding out, but he knew how to recruit a weirdo when he saw one.
"Genos," Saitama said instantly. "We're joining his team."
"Master," Genos said, "we are currently interdimensional drifters. Affiliation with local paramilitary organizations requires—"
"FREE. MEAT."
Genos snapped his heels together (metal clanking). "Understood. Initiation of alliance with... giant smoking man confirmed."
Yuno watched the scene, utterly baffled. The terror of the last hour was gone, replaced by a surreal comedy. But his instincts—his wind spirit—were terrified.
Sylph, the wind spirit, poked her head out of Yuno's shoulder. "Yuno... that bald one. He's unnatural. He feels empty. Like... like the end of the world wrapped in a cape."
"I know," Yuno whispered. He looked at his shaking hands. "Asta found someone even crazier than himself."
High above, unaware of the ground-level drama, a small rift flickered. A single flyer drifted down.
It was a flyer for the "Clover Kingdom Magical Knight Selection Exam - Late Entries Welcome."
Saitama caught it. He read it.
"Knights?" Saitama read. "Do knights get paid?"
Asta grinned, blood shining on his teeth. "We get paid in gold! And fame! I'm Asta, by the way! Let's be rivals!"
Saitama crumpled the flyer. "Gold buys groceries. Sure. Whatever."
"RIVALS!" Asta shouted, throwing a fist in the air.
"Shut up," Saitama said.
Elsewhere, in the deepest pit of the Underworld.
Lucifero's body drifted in the void between dimensions, battered, broken, but alive.
His ego, however, was dead.
"Push... ups..." he rasped, trembling in the cold dark. "Impossible..."
A new shadow loomed over him.
"Interesting," a voice echoed. "A breach in the reality wall. And a power that ignores the laws of mana. How... fascinating."
Julius Novachrono, sitting in his child form back in the Clover Capital, opened his eyes wide. The time stream had just convulsed. Future paths were dissolving.
"A variable has appeared," Julius whispered, a giddy smile spreading across his face. "A variable that exists outside of time!"
He looked out the window. In the distance, a group of Black Bulls were flying back on brooms. And one of them was being carried by a blonde robot.
Julius's eyes sparkled. "I must meet him. I must see it. The magic of... muscles?"