On the fourth day within this dream, Aion once more found himself with nothing to do. Breakfast played out the same as yesterday—Luna didn't show up, leaving Aira and him in silence as he ate. So, he decided to visit Alexander's in hopes of eating away at the time.
Entering the building, he was hit with the same smell he had experienced on his first day.
"Alexander, are you here?" Aion called out.
Several seconds passed, and he received no answer. Deciding that Alexander would take a bit, he decided to look around—or rather, look at the chessboard. The position was the same as the day he first showed up, back in the position that could result in victory or defeat for both sides depending on the move. However, there was a difference this time; a second board was set up with the position from their game at the move where he had been hinted at as a winning move by Alexander.
Staring at the position again, he decided to try and find the winning idea again. Originally, he had sacrificed the queen to have an attack against the king. But now, he found himself wondering if that was even the best move. Hypothetically speaking, it's a move that under normal circumstances he would never dare play. Maybe it was because he was urged on by Alexander, or perhaps it was because this game had no bearing on anything in the outside world, but he found himself completely fine with the idea in this case. Going further, he found himself tempted to sacrifice another piece: the rook that was hanging from earlier. After all, it granted him more time to attack the king. Of course, the opponent would likely ignore the sacrifice at the higher level. In other words, it was unlikely to work against Alexander.
Aion stopped for a moment at a thought: what level of chess was Alexander at? For one thing, Alexander had accurately gauged his skill level based on a single game. From his experience, most people that could are generally high up in ELO. And on top of that, they usually reached some sort of title. So was Alexander at the titled player level? Based on the game he played, Alexander didn't seem that skilled. But at the same time, he gave Aion a hint at victory. Going by that detail, it would imply that Alexander was holding back. Much like an advisor or coach for a younger chess player. Although, it's not as if he could comment on that specifically. In all his time learning chess, he's never had someone hold back against him.
So, under the assumption that Alexander was indeed holding back, which was backed by Alexander's ability to analyze Aion so well on top of him trying to lead Aion toward victory, would it not be safe to assume that he was titled level at bare minimum? Perhaps he was leaping a little too high; however, it was as if he had some sort of feeling telling him he was right. His intuition outside of academia has never been good, so relying on it struck him as dumb. Still, he decided to follow it.
So, circling back to the original point, Aion didn't think Alexander would simply take the sacrificed rook, instead opting to use that time for a tougher defense. That was what Aion believed would happen if the game unfolded with him sacrificing the rook immediately after the queen sacrifice. So, what would happen next? Aion considered it deeply as he stared into the board.
After a while, he felt like he had run through all the possibilities and came to the conclusion that sacrificing the rook was indeed the right option and that ultimately, he would end up winning with those two sacrifices. Looking back up, he realized Alexander still hadn't shown up. He had been spending quite a bit of time, but maybe it was much shorter than he thought. With no way of telling the time, he decided to try and call for Alexander once more.
"Alexander? Are you here?" Aion's voice was louder than last time, causing him to tense up.
No response. Time passed, and still no response. And when even more time passed with no response, Aion sighed and decided that Alexander must be out at the moment. So, he moved on with his day.
* * *
Walking through town, Aion hadn't managed to do anything. And going over the people he could talk to, he found himself coming up short. Luna was nowhere to be found, and he certainly didn't feel like asking around town. Samuel was busy with festival preparations. Aira and Aria were both helping at the Magnatium Manor. And Alexander had apparently disappeared off the map.
It's situations like these that reminded Aion again about his lack of social confidence. In the past, he often found himself in similar situations. One specific memory stood out among them.
When he first enrolled in college, he knew absolutely nobody except for one person who was only available to hang out with for a brief period of time every week. So, for the most part, he was alone in a new world. Like many people, Aion had wanted to make friends. To him, it would be making up for his high school years. However, people don't just change by entering a new environment.
Much like his past self, his college self wasn't able to just talk with people. He couldn't walk up to a stranger and start chatting about random topics. So, he found himself even lonelier than when he was in high school. And as time went on, the act of talking to other people grew even more dire. With every conversation, the gravity of Aion's situation became more present in his head. Even the person whom he knew from high school started to drift away.
Ultimately, Aion found himself in the same situation as that first semester. Alone and unable to talk to other people. He's heard people tell him to not think about it and just act, or some other monotonous advice that quickly escaped his memory. But knowing and doing were two separate things.
The strange thing is, Aion didn't think it was social anxiety. Rather, it was more accurate to say that talking to random people seemed impossible. What was he even supposed to say? Was he perhaps pushing too hard? Was what he said normal? And similar lines of thought always entered his head. Maybe that in and of itself was fear. But what he usually attributed to fear emotion-wise was nothing like what he felt trying to speak to others.
Additionally, looking at it from just an anxiety lens, it's not like he feels anxiety when talking to others. On the other hand, he supposed that he was nervous at the thought of talking to people. Did that qualify as social anxiety? When it comes to things like this, he could never be certain.
To know would be tantamount to knowing himself—something he could never do.
It's something he could never do.
* * *
Returning to his residence for the evening, he found that Aira was already in the kitchen.
"Welcome back, sir." Aira paused and turned to greet Aion.
"You're back earlier than I thought you'd be."
"I'm back the same time I usually am."
"Oh? Is that so? I somehow lost track of time."
Aira gave a small comment and resumed.
"Aira, I have a question about the festival," Aion asked, as he sat down.
"What is it?"
"There's the Festival Eve, and then there's the actual Winter Solstice; both of them act as their own separate events, right?"
"That's correct. The Festival Eve is supposed to be a day of rest after the preparations, and the Winter Solstice is supposed to be the celebration day."
"I see."
"Technically the Festival Eve has a myth surrounding it, and that's the real reason behind it. However, for someone like you and me, the myth isn't important."
"What's the myth? You've piqued my interest."
Aion thinks he vaguely recalls a mention of a myth in Crystal Machinations.
Aira thought for a couple of seconds before asking, "Do you wish to hear the whole story? Or an abridged version?"
"The whole story."
"Hm…" Aira made a quiet noise in understanding. "Let's finish dinner first, if that's fine with you, sir."
"That's fine."
He would've been fine hearing the myth tomorrow, as long as he heard the whole thing. The story, whatever it was, would satiate him for a little while, staving off the dull ache he was feeling.
Soon, dinner finished, and Aira sat opposite of Aion at the table.
"This is a tale from a long time ago, and I don't think it's all that good. Are you sure you wish to hear it, sir?"
Aion nodded.
Aira, sighing, began, "There were once two people who loved one another very deeply. A man, who was of common descent and a servant, and a woman, who was a part of the nobility and his master. The man and woman had always looked out for one another. The woman had always found herself struggling in the noble world, and it was only in the man that she could find solace. As for the man, he worked to take care of his siblings, and the woman would always ensure he would have enough to pay for their treatment.
"They had a silent but resolute agreement to always help one another, displaying their love through actions, not words. For the love of a commoner and a noble would never be accepted. So when the woman's engagement to another was announced, the two could only accept it as part of the world they lived in. As long as the two could still show their love to one another, they could go on.
"But the fiancé of the woman hated the idea of a male servant working so closely with her, so he ordered for his removal. Of course, the woman would never accept this. Therefore, the fiancé framed the man with an attempted assault against his fiancé so that he may be punished by the Church of Lunalis. The saint of the time, Saint Michael, had decided to exile the man. Saint Michael knew he had no way of opposing the nobility, so the least he could do was prevent the death of the man.
"The fiancé, enraged, secretly ordered the assassination of the man. The woman who uncovered the hidden plot rushed to the man's side to warn him of the coming danger. But she was too late. He was already dying by the time she arrived.
"The woman cried and began to tell the man that she loved him, but he simply hushed her, saying that he knows—that he's always known. The man was also going to say how he loved her, but she told him that she always knew. The two loved each other silently, and that was fine with them. Even in his dying breath, he could not allow those words of love to be spoken. Because it was taboo. For if word ever got out, her life would be over.
"But the woman didn't care; she spoke those three simple words: 'I love you.' His eyes widened, and he told her again and again that she couldn't—that she mustn't. But the woman only repeated those words over and over again while crying. The world had separated them. It was a cruel fate that they were damned to by birth.
"But they were not forsaken. Lunalis, having witnessed the display of love, shined her light down on the town of Magna. And on that day, she declared the making of the Festival Eve—a day filled with love. The man and woman, with the help of Lunalis, could finally live happily together. And thus, the myth was born."
Aira finished speaking, and the room fell quiet.
"So it's a love story? I assume that means there's a legend that if you confess your love to another and they accept, it's destined to be eternal?"
"That's right," Aira nodded. "So as I said earlier, it's not something that we're involved with."
"What if I confessed my undying love to you?" Aion asked.
"I would turn you down. I have zero interest in someone like you," Aira said—much more forcefully than he'd ever seen her speak before.
Despite the question being a joke, he still felt somewhat hurt by her harsh rejection.
"It was just a joke, you know."
"Good."
"..."
"What?"
"Nothing…"
"If you say so."
"Still, it's a rather sweet story, is it not?"
Aira raised an eyebrow and said, "I don't intend any offense, but I didn't take you for the type of person to like something like that."
"What makes you say that?"
"Hm…I guess I always thought that you were too caught up with yourself to care about others."
Aion gave a smile and said, "Is that so?"
"I don't know too much about you, so I could be wrong."
"I suppose we don't know much about each other, do we?"
"I suppose not. However, you're not very affected by my words. Is that not weird?"
"As you said, I'm too caught up with myself."
"...You're making fun of me…"
Aion laughed and said, "You got me. I do find it weird that you have that impression, though."
"I guess I've never been a very good judge of character. So, I guess I'm completely wrong."
"Then, we just have to get to know one another."
Aira looked into Aion's eyes and said, "I…suppose so…"
Aion smiled softly and said, "Tomorrow, we'll start off on a better foot, alright?"
Aira nodded. Aion stood up from his chair and left for his room. Aira still sat in her chair with an expression Aion had missed.
Aira was smiling ever so slightly.