I'm laying in my bed, tapping the luminodiamond on and off.
On. Hilde. I hurt her. I really fucking hurt her and I need to fix things. She's my only real friend in these clouds. I mean, I do have others, but I don't even care to see or talk to them right now. If ever again. I'm second guessing whether any of them ever liked me, or only tolerated me. Looking back on my memories of them, I genuinely cannot tell either way.
Off. The Fell. I think… I think I hurt her too. Which is just as baffling as it is difficult to parse out. Guess it makes sense, in a way. Even if I was the most evil monster in existence, if someone screamed in my face about hating me, I'd probably still be wounded too. But she's a monster. A killer. A brute. A beast. She skins people alive for fun. Or something like that…
On. Hilde. Why did I say that I was afraid she might hurt me? I knew all along that she wouldn't. She never has. I'm certain she never will. But, in a way, it also does make sense that the fear is there. She's a pureblood dragon. I'm a rotblood wyvern. She could probably kill me in cold blood and nobody would bat a wing. And I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop her.
Off. The Fell. Same thing there. Exact same thing. Maybe I was just primed to think that way, because I was with her for so long. Maybe it's her fault I shot down Hilde. It's her fault I'm in this mess to begin with. Tangled up. My whole livelihood depends on a lie. She did this to me. But I'm the one who went with it, and told the Seraphim the lie.
On. Hilde. I'm not scared she'll hurt me. No, no. I'm scared she'll oust me. What did I do wrong? What part of my cover slipped? How did she know? How did she know? If she ever finds out the truth, I'm ruined. She won't hesitate to make it known. Will she? I don't know. I really don't know. Maybe she wouldn't. But what if she's telling people she suspects me of lying right this second?
Off. The Fell. For a moment, I did miss her. I can face that fact. It's gone now. That feeling is dead. I don't know why it came up, but it's over. How could I possibly miss her? That's what doesn't make sense. I can't seem to understand it. It's true she was generally nice to me, but she's the Fallen Queen.
I leave the luminodiamond off and hold it to my chest, rolling over in my maroon linen sheets to gaze out the window right next to my bed. So many stars. Such an infinite night. The darkness, her influence, her domain. Hells, now I'm seeing her face in mind. Her faint smile. Her shiny black hair. Her hissing whispering voice. The soft feeling of her touch. The way she held me in her sleep.
I'm haunted. I feel haunted. Hells, I'm cursed.
She broke the chain but her vines are twisted.
With a heavy sigh, I clutch the diamond tighter.
"This isn't fair. None of this is fair. What am I supposed to do?"
There are no answers that come to me in the night.
My bed feels colder than ever. I am alone.
When the morning comes, I make my rounds and feed my pets.
The serpent pool gets a few fistfuls of raw meat, usually elk or deer. I watch them to make sure everybody gets some, keeping an eye out for Slippy just to make sure. Their thick bodies thrash and write as they devour their meals, and from what I can tell, everybody is happy and healthy.
The largest pool gets an assortment of vegetables and meat. I wade through the different sections, giving some sliced carrots and lettuce to the turtles, chunks of squid to the bigger fish, diced cubes of halibut to the little fish, a dozen large chunks of boar meat to the alligators and crocodiles, small tidbits of insects or larvae to the salamanders and newts, a handful of dead flies to the frogs and toads, and then a packet of seeds and nuts to the birdfeeder for whoever wants it. I do a quick once over to make sure nobody's injured or sick, but everything looks good.
Returning to my stockade, I check the calendar on the wall, sliding my claw along the days before realizing I'm a week behind. Right, I was held prisoner for a while there. Looks like Hilde just forgot to scratch off the dates. Ah… Hilde… I'm going to let things settle some before I try to talk with her again. Maybe in a day or two.
Refocusing, I make sure I'm not missing anything.
"Drakes don't eat until next week, neither do snakes or groundwyrms… Cockatrices are two weeks out. Basilisks too. Geckoes and lizards ate yesterday. Who am I missing? Oh, komodos and monitors. Yes, that's… later this week. Right, and I need to get more birdseed. And… Mixed vegetables. Guess I'm running errands."
That's fine by me, because I have other things I need to do. Flying back up to my chambers at the top of my castle's tallest tower, I slip through the window and gather a bag, pulling on my Mantle before pausing as I stare at myself in the mirror. It looks fantastic. I look fantastic in it. But I didn't earn it. I didn't do anything. I just played pet draco for a few days and then lied about it.
I'm too ashamed to wear it in public. I leave it on my bed, which is tucked away in the corner closest to the other window and nested in with heavy maroon blackout drapes. My chambers are very cozy, with a nice fireplace of white marble, a thick plush rug the color of deep dark wine, animal encyclopedia pages torn out and posted all over the walls, partially covering the large diagrams of various crawlers' anatomy covering the rest of the wall space, and dozens of various specimens neatly sorted on wooden racks at my workdesk, which is covered in stationery and the books I've been reading lately.
I wander over to that desk and pick up the two on top.
The Luminous. Seventh edition.
The Luminous. First edition.
Without much of a care, I toss the seventh edition into my bag. After carefully wrapping the first edition in several layers of protective parchment and fabric, I gently stow it in my bag as well. However I may feel about the Fell, this is a genuine fucking treasure, and I'm not going to be the one who damages it.
With that, I make sure I have my luminodiamond in my pocket, then rifle through my coffers in the desk drawers to pinch out a few gold coins. All set, I should think. Birdseed and vegetables. I'll get those on the way back, so they stay fresh.
Standing on the windowsill, I shout down to the grounds, "You're in charge, Slippy!" then take flight. I'm off to visit an old friend.
Once I'm clear of the barrier, I latch my bag to my belt and shift forms. These clothes of ours are enchanted so that whenever we switch to draconic form, they sort of slip away out of existence and into something of a pocket dimension, and return to us when we switch back to humanoid form. Likewise, anything attached to them or in their pockets does the same.
It feels good to stretch my wings again. The sun warms the red webbing and my white scales, which is much needed after wading through the cold water. There's a fair amount of people out and about today, so I make sure to keep my distance. However…
There's a pack of about four other wyverns moving east to west up above me. That's the way I need to go, so I start to pick up speed. The clouds begin to blur past me, mixing together with the bright blue skies like paint being blended, and the air rushes past and along my streamlined body as my wings pull and my tail sways. Faster and faster I climb, breaking into a sprint as I race toward the Solaris. That pack of wyverns is directly overhead, and I'm closing fast.
Here it comes…
I whip past them at full tilt, less than a tail's length away directly in front of them. The instant I become visible, I'm gone just as quickly. A few wailing screams of alarm and fright echo through the air from behind me, and I laugh to myself. Not a chance they got a good look at me. Not a ghost of a chance they could ever catch up to me. Technically, buzzing people like that is illegal, but oh, Hells, it's so much fun. And what's the point of being the fastest wyvern alive if I don't show off a little now and then? Anything is legal, so long as I don't get caught…
When I reach the market skyland, in record time I might add, I switch forms as I touch down in the beautiful plaza. It's a huge circular space with a gigantic fountain at the center, where the granite visage of Saint Yvette has her wings spread out wide, and her front arms up in the air as she roars. It smells like spices and smoking meats, and a good number of other draconids are mulling about as they run their errands and fill their baskets with whatever they need. This place has everything. From food to weapons to furniture. The market has it all.
I go along my way, watching every direction with my ears up and on alert, checking corners and alleyways and behind obstructions. Being in public is never easy. I have to be on my guard at all times, ready to fly away within the span of a single heartbeat, and wary of every single interaction that I don't initiate. Meanwhile, everyone else is out having themselves a nice stroll, looking at the scenery or into glass windows, minding their business without a care in the sky.
It seems so nice to not have to worry about getting harassed or assaulted. I wish I could feel the same, even just for one day. Or maybe just an hour. Thankfully, I reach my favorite bookstore without incident.
There it is. The Twisted Quill.
I hurry inside to see old Mathis.