The pond isn't very big, but it has koi fish and that's enough for me.
I've been wading around in the crystal clear waters all afternoon, checking out all the different critters both big and small. The only fish in here are koi, but there are a ton of frogs and toads too, and tadpoles, and dragonflies, and newts, and salamanders, and beetles, and centipedes, and even a few water snakes. None of them are novel species to me, not like the ones in Umbra's waters, but I'm still enjoying myself.
Hilde, like Umbra, is sitting at the banks with her legs in the water as she watches me with a warm grin. I gave her a wave and she waves back. The cobalt blue of her scales glimmers under the water, and the tan shade of her skin looks like bright gold in the sun. She's sitting back, propped up by her hands behind her, and her thick axetail is gently swaying as she churns the water, just like I asked her to.
Hells. She is pretty. Breathtaking. But…
I miss Umbra.
"Do you like it?" Hilde asks. "I know it's not much."
"It's great. Really." My tail flicks and I start wading toward her. "The koi are nice. And the lily pads. And the dragonflies. I like it."
"That's good." She sits up as I draw near, kicking her feet. "Care to talk a little?"
"Oh. Sure." I hop up to sit at the water's edge with her, soaking my legs and tail too. The courtyard around us is decently wide, with a few tall trees standing overhead for shade from the Solaris. I haven't felt the sun in a while. That part's nice, at least. "Um. Talk about what?"
"How you're feeling, mainly." She curls her tail and one of her wings around me. "I'm sure it's a big adjustment to go from somewhere so horrible to somewhere so nice. To go from being in danger all the time to being safe. But… I just want you to know, you don't have to hide anything from me. If there's anything you're worried about or anything that bothers you… Please, let me know. You don't have to suffer through any of this. I want to make it as gentle as possible. You know? This is rehabilitation. Not punishment."
I slowly nod. "Um. Right. How am I feeling? I'd say… Nervous. Confused. And… If I'm honest… A little scared. No, a lot scared. Yeah, I'm really scared… I don't know what's happening. I don't know if I'm in trouble or danger. Obviously, I know you'd never hurt me, regardless of that time I stupidly said I was. But… It's not you I'm scared of. It's everything and everyone else. I've done a lot of bad things. I hurt people. I killed people. Legends. So why am I… here? Instead of in the Cages."
"Oh. Didn't I already tell you? This is a new system. The Cages are for heavenly draconids, as a disciplinary measure. This is for the Wretched–draconids who've been smited or willingly turned coats. The Fell preys on their vulnerability and makes them into puppets. They don't choose to do any of what they've done. They're under her control. You were under her control. So, even though your hand killed those Legends, you didn't do anything to merit retribution. You genuinely didn't have a choice. Now you're free from her grasp, you're you again, and the Church concurs with my argument that you yourself, Crimson, are innocent of the crimes the Fell forced you to commit."
I think I'll give her this one. Besides, it works to my benefit. However, I'm not ever going to concede to the idea that we Wretched are mindless slaves. I'll have to navigate my way around that. "R–Right. And… That's good. I'm grateful. For this second chance. Um. But what about… I mean, I destroyed the Cathedral, right? And I killed Vitalius. That was before I was Wretched."
"The Goddess is nothing if not merciful." Hilde lowers her head in something like a bow. "I begged and pleaded for you to be pardoned of those crimes. It wasn't easy, but… Well, I shouldn't go into too much detail. The point is that you've been absolved of all wrongdoing."
Merciful. Of course. "And… The three who… Kayus, Raiden, Lucien?"
Hilde sighs, axetail knocking against the rocks. "Acquitted. Internally."
"Of fucking course. The Valorant Order investigated itself and found no evidence of wrongdoing. Why am I not surprised?"
"It pisses me off too. Fucking detestable. I resigned the day after you fell. Good riddance. Honestly, once you're out of here, I'm going after them." She pauses, giving me a sideways look. "However you prefer I do so. Legal channels. Or…"
I remain quiet for a moment, watching the water ripple. "Does that offer still stand?"
She lights a cigarette with a blue flame on her fingertip and exhales smoke. "It does."
That much is appreciated. "But… You don't have a drake in this fight anymore. You're a big shot now. You have your own department. You're doing things. Going places. Why would you risk it all? If we do this and happen to get caught, everything you've worked towards and accomplished will be destroyed by the very people who gave it to you."
On second thought, that might be for the better.
Hilde sits back on one hand, offering the cigarette with the other. "Let's just say I'm not expecting to get caught. Plus, I have more sway now. You were right earlier. I did get promoted. I was… Waiting for a good time to tell you, but…"
I breathe smoke in and breathe smoke out, my eyes locked to hers. "You're kidding."
"I'm not." She smiles bright, sharp teeth glinting. "You're looking at the newest Legend. Me. Legend Hildegard. Has a nice ring, doesn't it?"
I'm conflicted. On the one hand, that's another way Aurora is dragging her in, but it's always been hugely important to Hilde too. This is something she's wanted for nearly a century now, and she finally has it. Hells, fuck Aurora. I'm going to be happy for my friend.
"Hilz, that's amazing!" I toss myself into her arms and hug tight. "You did it! You finally did it! I knew you could! It was only a matter of time!"
"You were right." She holds me in return, scratching my back. "You always believed in me. And I… didn't. At times. But I was able to keep trying because of you. Through everything, you stayed with me. You helped me. You kept me going. And you pushed me to be my best. I can't thank you enough. I didn't thank you enough."
"That's a separate conversation. You don't have to worry about that right now."
"No, but I am." She pulls back from the hug, keeping her wing and tail around me with her hand resting on my back. Her eyes are misty as she looks at me. "I said it before, but I can never say it enough. I was all wrong, and I'm sorry. I should've done everything differently. It's absolutely their fault for what they did to you, but I'm also to blame for doing nothing to stop it when I had the chance. That's how it got to that point. Because I didn't step in, and it all just compounded and got worse, and–"
She chokes off, jaw clenched as she looks down at the water.
"Your home. Your fish. Your snakes. Your serpents, turtles, and frogs. Those poor little animals. All that work, and effort, and time you put into making them the perfectplace to live. I know better than anyone that your skyland was everything to you. And if I'd just fucking stopped them from harassing you right at the start, it never would've gone as far as it did. And I fucking regret that so much, every single second of every single day. I just can't help looking back and thinking… If I'd stopped them here, or there, or after that other thing, or whatever, then maybe… Maybe your life wouldn't have been… fucking… destroyed. And none of this would've ever happened…"
I can tell she's trying not to, but she is crying.
So I move closer, returning my arms around her shoulders to hold her close. "Hilde. Listen. Please. Trust me when I say this. I don't blame you. Okay? I don't. I don't blame you at all."
"Yes, you do." She hangs her head and avoids my eyes, one arm around my waist. "I've seen the way you look at me. You blamed me when things ended between us. You blame me for this now. And rightfully so…"
"You're not listening to me. Hey." I cup her face and turn her to look at me. Tears are sliding down her cheeks, catching the sunlight. In no uncertain terms, I tell her, "If anything, sure, maybe I blamed you for not defending me. I was angry with you. I was hurt because you never stood up for me. I resented you. But that's completely different. And it's not your fucking fault they did any of this shit to me, Hilde. It just isn't. You are not to blame for their actions. They are."
"I'm still so fucking sor–"
"I accepted your apology. I accept it again. We agreed to move forward, so let's keep moving forward. We're okay, Hilde. I'm okay. The important thing is that you've chosen to be different. You're trying to atone. And I'm choosing to allow you to do so. Because… I love you. As a person. I do. That much has never changed. I love who you are. So… Please. I'm giving you the chance. So just take it, Hilz. If you're stuck hating yourself for something I've already forgiven you for, then we're never going to get anywhere. Please. Trust me. And move forward with me."
"R–Right." Hilde hugs me tighter and falls quiet for a while. The whistling wind, the serene chimes, the rustling trees, and the babbling pond are all I can hear. Eventually, she groans a soft and pitiful sound. "I love who you are too, Crimz. Thank you for giving me this chance. I'll do everything I can to make you happy. And I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. Ever."
I certainly feel protected. But I'm not yet sure if I feel safe. From her, yes. From the Church? Not in the slightest. But it does make me happy to know she's earnestly trying.
I wipe away the last of her tears. "We're okay. I believe in you."
"Th–Thanks," she stammers with a wincing smile. "You deserve the best. So I'll give you mine."
I hesitate. Then blink. "Give me yours? Your what?"
"My best, silly. Hells, you sound like Penny."
"Hm? What were we talking about? I love her."
"She's so fucking perfect. As are you, Crimz."
"Aw. Thanks, Hilz. You're pretty great yourself."
The two of us stay close and watch the day go by.
This is good. This is very good. I'm pleased.
Hilde clearly still cares for me. I appreciate that.
And it's an avenue to getting her to rethink things.
Slowly. Carefully. Hearts are still tender.
But mine has grown resilient.