The next day, my reeducation begins.
"Good morning, red," Hilde sing-songs as she enters my cell with a tray of food. Alongside her is a tall and skinny man I've never seen before, but I'm more interested in breakfast. As Hilde sets it out on the table in my cell, she grins, "I had them make your favorites. Anything you need?"
"No. Looks great. Thank you." I inhale a salty over-easy fried egg in one bite then gnash into some ham. It's still weird feeding myself. Still chewing, I point at the stranger in the room with a link of sausage. "Who's he?"
"Master Scribe Innes. A colleague," Hilde says as he sets out an armful of books, then some stationery too. Remaining standing, Hilde sets one hand on the back of my chair and explains, "This is the part where we just… talk with you. Mostly about doctrine. Theology. What's true and what isn't. So on, so forth. Though I'll mostly be observing."
I crunch on some bacon. "Um. Okay."
"Think of me," he sighs as he takes a seat across the table, "as something of an instructor. This is our classroom. And you are my student. We're going to discuss some things. Periodically, I'll be asking you questions. You may do the same."
I tap the table a few times.
The yellow-green arcane amphithere stares at me.
I do it again.
"What are you doing?"
"I have a question. I can't exactly raise my tail."
"Why can you not raise your tail?"
"Because… Oh." Right. He's not blind. I choke down a little orange juice and hurry along. "What happens if I say something wrong?"
Hilde answers, "You can't. Not really. See, this whole thing is devised with the idea in mind that your beliefs, values, and morals have been corrupted by the Fell's influence. That's not your fault, it's hers. So this system isn't going to hold you accountable for any of it."
The man, Innes, nods. "If you happen to say anything off-key, all you'll face in response is a careful and nuanced discussion as to why and how her evils have shaped the fabric of your perceptions."
So I can say whatever I like. "Right. Sure."
"We'll start with something simple and straightforward." After flipping through a few pages, Innes stops and taps on one in particular. "There. The Church of Solaris defends the weak from the strong. Now, what does that mean? It means that the Fell and her Wretched, who are strong, make victims out of the mortals on Avi, who are weak. So we step in, because we're also strong, and capable of defending mortalkind from harm."
I glance up at Hilde and then ask Innes, "What about weak draconids being abused by strong draconids right here in the Heavens?"
He takes a slow breath. "That's different."
"How is it different? The Valorant are more powerful than I am and they caused me harm consistently for decades, yet the Church did nothing to stop them. So? Strong harming the weak, right?"
"I should've said that's separate. It's a separate issue because you're a draconid. This tenet only applies to mortalkind."
"Then why doesn't the tenet itself include that stipulation?"
"What? Because it's–"
"The Church defends the weak from the strong. There is no conditional exception in those words, is there. If draconids are excluded from that rule, then why don't the Goddess's words reflect that? Better yet, why doesn't the Church adhere to the tenet as it stands? Why don't they defend all of the weak from all of the strong? That's what the diction stipulates. Yet I'm disqualified from being defended because I'm not the right kind of weak? So what the fuck?"
"Slow down, Crimz," Hilde sighs, placing a warm hand on my back. "One question at a time, please. We're still figuring out this procedure."
"That said," Innes begins, "I think this will cover all of the ones you asked. We, as draconids, are the Goddess's chosen. Before anything else, we're soldiers. Part of being a soldier is learning to endure hardships and push onward regardless. We have to be resilient, resistant, and durable. It's not that the Church endorses abuse within its ranks, just that all of us are expected to withstand and overcome any and all challenges. Externally… Or internally."
My turn.
"What you're saying, Innes, is that the Church does nothing to stop abuse within their ranks because it benefits from them. Fine, they may not be aiding in the abuse, but they are abetting. They are allowing it to happen. The Church. Is. Complicit. And so is Aurora."
I could cut the silence with my tailblade.
"You…" He trails off, eyes wide as he glares a hole through me. "You are not permitted to speak the Goddess's name."
"And why is that? Why do you think that's a rule?"
"Because the Goddess is no paltry associate you would refer to so casually. She is not amongst us. She is above us. In all things, the Goddess is beyond our reckoning, and therefore–"
"So you're saying we're not good enough?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."
"We're not worthy. We don't have the same value."
"Not one living being can claim to equate Her."
"She's a divine being, right? So any other divine being is equivalent."
"There are no other divine be–"
"What about Umbra?"
"You will not speak of that accursed–"
"Umbra is divine. She's a Goddess, just the same as Aurora. Except Umbra encourages us to refer to her by name. In fact, I call her Umbsy. And she loves it. What if Umbsy said Aurora's name? Isn't she equal to her younger sister? Or perhaps superior…"
Innes is struck dumb. Furiously dumb.
Hilde only sighs. "Red, please, take this seriously."
"I am taking this seriously. I'm asking serious questions that I want answers to. But if this drac can't fly straight and drag it for me, how am I supposed to learn anything here during my reeducation? Right? If my questions offend him to the point of enraged stupefied silence, then maybe he isn't qualified to fucking be here doing this."
Again, the silence is palpable.
And Hilde turns her head. "Are you qualified, Innes?"
"Yeah, Innes." I lean forward over the table. "Are you? Or are my questions too difficult for you to answer? Maybe I'm testing your faith, instead of the other way around…"
He stands up, his chair scraping across the floor. "It is self-evident that the Wretched cannot be redeemed in the slightest, and you're wasting your time on this worthless rotblood, Legend Hildegard. I'll have no further part of this nonsense. If it were up to me, this entire department would be shut down."
As he's gathering his books and papers, I dryly and laughingly remark, "Drac got clipped on the slipstream, huh? Don't trip over your tail on the way out." Once he slams the door and disappears, I let out a sigh and keep eating breakfast. "Sorry, Hilz. That drac clearly wasn't cut out for this."
"He wasn't my first pick," she sighs as she sits down beside me. "Unfortunately, I've had to make some… concessions. In terms of staffing and faculty. Some of these assholes really wanted a chance to prove their own capabilities. Or rather their incapabilities. Nepotism and such…"
"Well, keep them coming." I crunch on some more bacon and give her a wink. "I'll see if they can curve it or not."
"Hells." She cracks a smile. "So you are taking this seriously. You're just being a tricky fucking snake about it."
"If they aren't up to the job, they shouldn't be here trying to do it. And you shouldn't be stuck with hiring amateurs just because someone said so. We'll filter through them until we find someone who can handle the job." Gnashing on some sweet and savory sausage, I grumble, "And then I can rip them apart too."
"What was that? I didn't catch that last part."
"Oh, nothing. I am sorry, Hilz. If that felt like I was antagonizing you. I'm not trying to. It's just… You know. Fuck that drac. Stuck up piece of shit."
"No, no, I caught up once you said it. We're fine. Please, get rid of these idiots I'm being forced to employ." She and I share a laugh and then she steals a piece of my bacon. "I have to ask though. You're at least freed from the Wretched curse. So… Why are you talking about the Fell so fondly? It sounds almost as if you admire her. But she enslaved you, red. Doesn't that make you angry?"
I bite my lip and stay sharp. Shredding that Scribe was one thing. I have to be much more careful when it comes to Hilde. "I don't know, blue. I don't know what to think anymore. But no, I'm not angry. She was good to me, while I was there. And nobody treated me any differently just because of my talons. In some ways… Things were better for me in the Hells."
"But you had no free will. None of you did. So none of that kindness was genuine. It was all under her control, and she was using it to make you more compliant."
"Maybe." I eat another egg whole. "Maybe not. Didn't feel that way to me."
"Hm." There's nothing for her to grasp onto there, so she lets it go and moves on. "Well, I suppose Innes quitting means we have the rest of the morning to ourselves before I have to brief the next tutor. Anything you'd like to do?"
"Can we go to the ponds again?"
"Absolutely. Oh, speaking of. There should be a delivery for you later today or early tomorrow. All those things I know you'll like. So we can set everything up once the delivery arrives."
I smile. "That sounds nice, Hilz. Let's do it."
"Yeah." She smiles too. "Are you going to finish that sausage?"
"I was leaving it for you."
"Aw! Crimz! That's so sweet! May I?"
"All yours, Hilz. Eat up, Miss Titanic Dragon."
"I'll eat you next if you're not careful, Miss Miniature Wyvern."
I throw one of the sausages at her and we both laugh.
Every so-called tutor I dismantle in front of Hilde is one step closer to getting her to see the truth. The more scholars, theocrats, and priests I pick apart, the more obvious it will become that none of them have a clue what they're doing. Maybe I'll even instigate self reflection in their hearts too.
Crimson one, Church zero.
On to the next!