Chapter 51: School Bullying
Under Kouya's questioning gaze, Vigne explained softly, her hands fidgeting nervously as her voice trembled just a little:
"B-because it's our first time at the cafeteria, we didn't know how to do it..."
Your sister!
Two demons and an angel, and none of them can even use a vending machine?
This kind of idiot-proof machine—you can just look at what others do and copy it! It literally has glowing buttons with pictures of food!
It's like getting off a train in a new city for a business trip—you don't know the way out, but all you need to do is follow the crowd! How hard can that be?
"It's simple, watch me." Kouya gave them a quick demonstration on how to use the ticket machine, tapping the screen twice, inserting coins, and collecting his meal ticket. Then, with a faint sigh, he went off to buy his food.
He vaguely heard Satania's trademark laughter echoing behind him. "Hahaha, something this simple is just a piece of cake! Let me handle it! I, the great demon Satania, shall conquer this mortal device!"
Kouya wasn't short on money now, so his lunch was naturally more lavish than average. Rice, side dishes, miso soup, and an iced cola on the side—a small feast compared to the basic student meals.
When he sat down with his tray, he finally noticed how quiet it was behind him. Soon, Vigne, Gabriel, and Satania appeared, walking carefully while holding trays that each carried only a single bowl of udon noodles.
They sat across from him, their expressions stiff and awkward, none daring to speak first.
"Why are you all eating noodles?" Kouya asked curiously, looking between the three bowls that looked suspiciously identical.
"Because that idiot Satania ordered three bowls of the same thing," Gabriel complained flatly, stabbing at her noodles with chopsticks.
"I'm not an idiot!" Satania immediately puffed up like a cat, her face red.
"Then you're paying this time."
"Eh? Why do I have to pay? You all ate too!"
"Enough already," Vigne sighed helplessly. "Gabi, hand me a pair of disposable chopsticks."
"Oh, sure." Gabriel casually reached into the holder, pulled out a pair, and handed them over.
Vigne took them and, without a word, tossed them toward Satania.
Satania barely caught them, fumbling like she was defusing a bomb. She glared suspiciously. "Hey, are you trying to provoke me? Why did you only give me one chopstick?"
"Huh?" Gabriel looked at her sideways. "You've never used disposable chopsticks before?"
"W-who hasn't!" Satania shot back instantly, though her eyes betrayed her panic.
"You just split them from the middle, that's all," Vigne said patiently, pointing to the seam.
"Hahaha, something this basic? Of course I know that! I was just testing you! Yes, that's right! Testing you!"
Satania swallowed hard, gripped the chopsticks tightly as if holding a holy weapon, and then—*crack!*—broke them clean in half horizontally.
"..."
Kouya sat there, expressionless, watching the scene unfold like a slow-motion disaster.
He already knew Satania was the class idiot, but somehow, witnessing it live was still shocking.
Such a pure and simple-minded demon...
Pure, my ass!
Her IQ must be in the negatives!
At this rate, if someone tried to scam her, she'd help them count the money and hand over her lunch too!
All this for the sake of pride and appearances... Wearing safety shorts under a skirt is one thing, but not knowing how to use disposable chopsticks?
"What a waste." Gabriel looked at her with disgust. "Those poor chopsticks died for nothing. Go apologize to the trees they came from."
"Gabi, they're bamboo," Vigne corrected softly, ever the gentle voice of reason.
"Eh?"
Disposable chopsticks, or *waribashi*, are made of bamboo, not trees. In Japan, you can find them everywhere—from ramen shops to high-end sushi places.
And bamboo isn't even a tree—it's a perennial grass. It grows ridiculously fast; under good conditions, it can grow over a meter in just one day. It's one of the fastest-growing plants on Earth.
If left alone, it can become invasive and take over entire areas. That's why bamboo chopsticks are considered eco-friendly—they're sustainable, cheap, and easy to produce.
"N-no way!" Satania puffed out her chest, putting on airs. "It's their honor to be broken by a great demon like me! They'll definitely go to hell later!"
Go to hell, my ass!
If those poor chopsticks had souls, they'd be weeping in despair!
The scariest thing in the world isn't meeting one idiot—it's being surrounded by a whole flock of them.
"Alright, enough. Eat," Vigne said firmly, stopping the nonsense.
The girls' udon was the cheapest meal on the menu—just 200 yen (1.30$)—but the broth shimmered with oil, sprinkled with scallions, and actually smelled pretty appetizing.
"Mmm, so good!" Vigne's eyes sparkled as she slurped her noodles with delight.
Gabriel followed, nodding approvingly. "It really does taste good. Simple but nice."
"Hahahaha." Satania rested her chin on her hand, grinning like she'd just masterminded something.
What's with that smug expression!
The deliciousness of the noodles has nothing to do with you—it's the chef's skill!
And if cheap food tastes this good, then the expensive dishes must be heaven itself!
"Hmph, Gabriel, you should thank me!" Satania declared proudly, like a conquering queen. "Without me, you wouldn't have discovered this culinary masterpiece!"
"Tch." Gabriel's eyes didn't even flicker.
Satania picked up another pair of chopsticks—this time managing to split them correctly—and was about to eat when she spotted a small red-labeled bottle next to the napkins.
"Eh? Qimi Sugar Stars?" she muttered, squinting.
"You read that wrong. It's Shichimi Togarashi," Gabriel corrected, her lips curling into a devilish smirk. "They say if you sprinkle it seven times, it'll make your food super delicious..."
Your sister! Since when did you turn into a prankster angel!
Where did that kind, smiling blonde girl go? And who replaced her with this lazy schemer?
Is this what school bullying looks like among celestial beings?
Shichimi Togarashi is a spicy seasoning mix—dried chili, sesame seeds, seaweed, and more. It's a Japanese classic, used on noodles, soups, and rice bowls. People love it so much it's basically a national condiment.
"Eh?" Vigne blinked in alarm. "That's..."
Before she could finish, Gabriel reached over and covered her mouth, eyes gleaming with mischief.
"Really? I'll try it then!" Satania said eagerly, half convinced. She grabbed the bottle and started sprinkling it onto her noodles.
"One, two, three, four..."
"Too little, do it again," Gabriel said smoothly.
"Oh, one, two, three..."
"Still not even. Sprinkle again."
By now, Kouya had his face in his hands.
As expected from the class's idiot representative—she'd successfully lowered the group's collective IQ yet again. Bravo.
Bravo, my ass!
This isn't purity—it's brain failure!
Good thing Gabriel's a girl. If she were a guy, she could scam Satania ten times and she'd still thank him for it!
By the end, Satania's bowl of udon—once a clear, innocent soup—was now buried beneath a fiery red mountain of powder. The noodles vanished under the spice like a volcano on the verge of eruption, bubbling with impending doom, as the smell of chili filled the air...