Chapter 52: Indirect Kiss
Staring at that fiery, magma-like bowl of hellish noodles, Vigne's lips twitched as she raised a trembling hand to cover her face in disbelief. The rising steam, thick with the pungent aroma of chili and spice, made her nose sting just from sitting nearby.
Gabriel, meanwhile, stifled her laughter behind her hand, her shoulders shaking as she tried—and failed—to keep her amusement under control.
Under their watchful eyes, Satania eagerly reached out with her chopsticks, her expression glowing with pure, foolish confidence. She delicately lifted a strand of noodles dripping with red broth, the sauce clinging to the noodles like molten lava, and placed it into her mouth.
Her eyes widened instantly, her face freezing mid-expression. Time itself seemed to stop.
"A-are you okay?" Vigne asked anxiously, her voice trembling. For a moment, she regretted not intervening earlier. Watching this scene unfold made her feel like an accomplice to a crime she didn't mean to help commit.
But come on, it's not her fault! If anyone's to blame, it's that lazy blonde angel beside her! Gabriel's grin was pure mischief—she was the real devil here!
Then, to everyone's shock, Satania raised a trembling hand and gave a big thumbs-up. "It's super delicious!"
"Eh?!"
Not only Gabriel and Vigne, but even Kouya froze mid-bite, eyes wide in disbelief.
Your sister! That thing looks like death in a bowl, and you're calling it delicious?
Most people's dark cooking might make you gag—but this one looks like it could melt steel!
Satania closed her eyes, face glowing with bliss, as if she'd just tasted heaven itself. "The spiciness perfectly brings out the fragrance of the broth. The noodles are smooth and springy, the aroma dances across the tongue, and the flavors come together in perfect harmony... It's the ultimate balance!"
Ultimate, my ass!
That bowl is something men would silently fear, and women would cry over!
And what's with that overly professional critique tone?!
For normal people, a simple "It's good!" would've been enough!
Are we supposed to congratulate the dark cuisine world on recruiting a new food critic?
You're perfect for the job—you can spout nonsense with your eyes wide open!
After finishing her ridiculous review, Satania flashed Gabriel a wide, gleeful smile. "It's really good! You should try it, Gabi!"
Idiot! That lazy angel clearly set you up, and you're thanking her for it! What's wrong with your brain?
Around them, nearby students stared in disbelief. One by one, they slowly picked up their trays and relocated as far as possible.
It was as if Satania radiated an invisible IQ-draining field—the longer you stayed near her, the dumber you felt.
"I hate to admit it, but you've really got an eye for flavor, Gabriel," Satania said proudly, chin held high.
Admire her, my ass!
You just got played, and you're complimenting your tormentor! Humanity has no hope!
"Huh?" Gabriel blinked, feigning innocence, though her smirk betrayed her satisfaction.
Vigne let out a small sigh of relief, her lips curving into a helpless smile. "Actually... Satania's sense of taste isn't very strong," she whispered.
Not strong? More like completely broken!
"Tch, so that's it. I wanted to see her breathe fire..."
Spit fire, your sister!
You're getting more twisted by the day, you lazy angel!
Even if she ate a volcano, she wouldn't breathe fire—she's not a Charizard! At most, she'd spit water.
Gabriel leaned in toward Vigne, the two whispering conspiratorially, when suddenly a strange noise came from across the table.
Gabriel looked up sharply. "Satania! What are you doing?!"
"I'm adding some for you too! You were the one who told me about it! It's too good not to share!" Satania giggled cheerfully as she shook the bottle of seasoning over Gabriel's bowl. "Don't worry, Vigne, you'll get your turn next!"
"N-no thanks!" Vigne yelped, shaking her head so fast her pigtails whipped the air. Even demons had limits—and eating that much spice was like flirting with death!
Moments later, Gabriel's once-clear udon had turned into a bubbling, crimson swamp that hissed menacingly.
Kouya couldn't help grinning. Karma always catches up, he thought, smirking as Gabriel stared in disbelief at her ruined meal.
That's what you get for bullying others—now it's your turn.
"Alright, dig in!" Satania said cheerfully, pushing the bowl toward Gabriel before happily slurping her own noodles again, the sound loud and carefree.
"Gulp..."
Gabriel swallowed nervously, watching Satania eat with such genuine joy it made her question reality. Could it really taste good...? she wondered.
After a few seconds of hesitation, curiosity got the better of her. She picked up her chopsticks, lifted a single noodle trembling with red oil, and took the smallest bite possible.
Then—
"Ahhh! Hot! It's so hot! My tongue's burning!" she shrieked.
The inferno exploded in her mouth instantly. Poor Gabriel, used to mild, delicate food, had never experienced such brutal, fiery punishment. It was like divine retribution for her earlier prank.
Chili peppers—humanity's favorite pain disguised as pleasure. A little bit brings bliss, but too much? Pure agony. Eat enough, and you'll be praying to see tomorrow.
Gabriel's pale cheeks turned crimson, her eyes watering, her wings twitching as she gasped for air. She stuck out her tongue and panted heavily, desperate for relief.
It didn't help.
Panting does nothing against that kind of burn—it was like trying to cool lava with a hand fan.
Her mind was spinning, her tongue numb. She needed something—anything—to save her life. Her eyes darted around desperately... and then landed on Kouya, who was calmly sipping his iced cola.
Before her brain could process it, her hand moved on instinct. She snatched the glass right out of his grasp and downed it in one go.
"Gulp, gulp, gulp!"
The cold bubbles hit her throat like heaven itself. After draining every last drop, she let out a long sigh of relief. "Haaaah... I'm alive again..."
"..."
The air went still.
Vigne and Satania stared at her, their jaws slack.
Gabriel blinked. Slowly, she looked down at the empty glass in her hands—and then at Kouya's stunned face. Her already-red cheeks deepened to a furious blush.
Satania tilted her head. "I saw this on TV the other day! Isn't this what they call an 'indirect kiss'?"
Vigne bit her lip, turning away, her own cheeks faintly pink.
"Y-you're mistaken!" Gabriel barked, flustered. "TV exaggerates everything!"
It was just a sip from the same cup—it didn't count! Friends share food all the time, right?
She tried to steady her tone, pretending nothing had happened. "I was simply collecting data for Heaven's report on 'the eating habits of single human males,' that's all."
Then, in an uncharacteristic stroke of brilliance, Satania jabbed a finger toward her. "You're blushing!"
"It's called research!"
"You're still blushing!"
"It was just cola! What's the big deal?!"
"You're definitely blushing! I've never seen you blush before—Ow!"
Gabriel calmly put the cup down, turning her head away. From the corner of her eye, she glanced at Kouya and said softly but firmly:
"I'll pay you back later."
Who the hell cares about the money!
You just hijacked my half-finished cola—that's the real crime here!
Seeing Kouya's sour expression, Vigne bit her lip gently, her voice soft and tinged with concern. "Gabi didn't mean it... please don't be angry..."
Her words hung in the air, quiet but strangely heavy, as if something deeper lingered behind them.