12
~Elara's POV
I curled up on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest. The room felt too big, too quiet, too cold. My head was spinning with everything that happened, that kiss, the way he looked at me, and then the way he just… left. Like it meant nothing.
I tossed and turned, trying to sleep, but it was useless. My heart hurt too much. My eyes were swollen, my pillow damp with tears. I finally drifted off sometime after dawn, my thoughts tangled between sadness and confusion.
When I woke up, the sunlight was already pouring in. My head ached from crying too much. For a long time, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, trying to gather the strength to move. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to face that cold look again.
My phone buzzed suddenly, startling me out of my thoughts. I wiped my eyes quickly and looked at the screen. It was Janae.
She called at the right time because I needed to talk to someone.
"Hey, Your Majesty!" Janae's voice came through, teasing and bright. "Girl, don't tell me you're sitting there scrolling your phone during your honeymoon. Shouldn't you be, like, busy right now?"
I forced a small smile even though my chest still ached. "Janae, please," I said quietly, my voice coming out softer than I meant it to.
She laughed again, loud and carefree. "Wait…oh my goddess…don't tell me it already happened! Is that why you sound like that? How was it? Was he, you know…" she lowered her voice dramatically, "…worth all the mystery?"
I swallowed hard, trying to steady my breathing. "Nothing happened," I said finally, barely above a whisper.
There was a pause on the other end, the kind that makes you realize someone's tone is about to change. "Wait, what? What do you mean nothing happened?" she asked, sounding suddenly serious.
I swallowed hard, trying not to cry. "Nothing happened."
"Nothing?!" she repeated. "Elara, you're supposed to be…."
"Janae, stop."
She went quiet instantly. "What happened?"
The tears I'd been holding back finally broke loose. "He doesn't like me," I whispered. "I don't think he did."
There was silence on the other end. Janae never stayed quiet for long, but this time she did.
"What do you mean?" she finally asked. "What makes you say that?"
"He… he prepared a separate room for me," I said, my voice trembling. "And he didn't even try to come in. Not once."
"Elara, maybe he just…"
"And we kissed," I said, cutting her off. "It just happened, and I thought…" My voice broke, and I covered my mouth, trying to steady myself. "I thought maybe he felt something. But then he just left, Janae. He pushed me away and walked off like I disgusted him."
Janae sighed softly. "Elara, maybe you're overthinking this. You know he's not the most expressive man alive. Maybe he just…."
"No," I said quickly. "He didn't even look back. Not once. He just left."
"Elara…"
"I don't know what to do," I whispered. "I feel so stupid. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to kiss him back. Maybe that was my mistake. Maybe he didn't expect someone like me."
"Someone like you?" Janae asked.
"You know what I mean," I said, sitting up on the bed, tears still falling. "I'm obese, disgusting, and…..I'm not as elegant as others. I'm just me, chubby, ordinary, and not that pretty. He probably regrets marrying me."
"Stop," Janae said softly. "Don't talk about yourself like that."
"But it's true!" I cried. "He didn't even want to share a room with me, Janae! What kind of husband does that? Maybe he didn't want to be near me. Maybe I make him uncomfortable."
"Elara," she said again, this time more firmly. "Breathe. Just breathe for me, okay?"
I tried, but the tears wouldn't stop. "Do you think I should run away? Maybe that would make things easier for both of us. He wouldn't have to pretend to care, and I wouldn't have to live with someone who hates me."
"Elara, stop saying that," she said quickly. "Don't even think of running. Do you know what that would cause? He's the Alpha of Alphas, you can't just…"
"I don't care," I muttered. "I'm tired, Janae. I'm tired of being unwanted. First my pack, now him. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I was never meant to be loved."
"Elara…" Her voice softened. "Listen to me. You need to calm down, okay? Maybe Alpha Darlon just needs time. He's not like other men. You know how cold and distant he can be. Maybe he doesn't hate you, maybe he's just… awkward about it."
"That's not true," I whispered. "He looked at me like I was nothing."
"That's not what I saw during the ceremony," Janae said quietly. "He couldn't take his eyes off you. I swear, Elara, he looked like he was holding himself back."
I shook my head. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."
"Maybe," she said honestly. "But maybe I'm not. You won't know unless you give it time."
I sniffled, wiping my eyes. "Time," I repeated weakly. "And what if time just makes things worse?"
"Then deal with it when it comes," she said simply. "Right now, just try to sleep, okay? You're overthinking everything. You've been through too much today."
"I can't sleep," I admitted. "Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. That look in his eyes when he pulled away… It's stuck in my head."
"Elara," she said gently, "you're not the problem here, okay? Just don't cross him. Stay calm, stay smart. You're stronger than you think."
"Maybe not strong enough," I said softly.
"You are," she said, her voice steady. "And even if he's distant, that doesn't mean he hates you. Don't let your mind lie to you."
"I'll try," I whispered.
"That's all I'm asking," she said. "Now rest. You'll feel better in the morning."
I nodded, though she couldn't see it. "Okay."
"Good girl," she said softly. "Now hang up before I start crying too."
I managed a small laugh, weak but real. "Take care, Janae."
"And you too, my Luna," she said with a teasing lilt. "And don't overthink things, okay? Just breathe."
When the call ended, I stared at the ceiling for a long time. The silence came back, heavier than before. I turned on my side, pulling the blanket up to my chin, but my mind wouldn't stop. I kept replaying every second, the way his hand brushed my waist, the warmth of his lips, the sudden cold when he left.
So I stayed in bed.
After a while, there was a knock on the door.
"Luna Elara?" a maid's voice called softly. "Breakfast is ready, my lady."
"I'll eat here," I said quickly, not even thinking. "Please bring it up."
The maid hesitated. "But the Alpha…"
"I'll eat here," I repeated meekly.
"Of course, Luna," she said quickly.
When they brought the food up, I forced a small smile and thanked them. As soon as the door closed, the room fell silent again.
I looked at the plate, eggs, bacon, bread, and a cup of warm milk. My stomach growled, but I hesitated. I remembered how he probably thought I ate too much, how I wasn't the type of woman men like him went for.
So I pushed the bread away. I only took half of the egg, one bite of bacon, and drank a little milk. I told myself it was fine. Maybe if I lost some weight, he'd look at me differently.
I pushed the tray aside and stood in front of the mirror. My reflection looked tired, my face pale, eyes red, hair messy. I touched my cheek and sighed.
"Maybe this is what you get for hoping too much," I whispered. "You should've known better."