Tuesday morning arrived like a golden explosion.
Rito woke to a weight on his chest and the sensation of something soft bouncing against his hips.
"Rito! Rito! Wake up! It's ready!"
Pink hair everywhere. A tail swishing like an overexcited puppy. Lala Satalin Deviluke was bouncing on his bed, wearing nothing but one of his oversized white T-shirts. The hem rode high enough to flash the creamy curve of her ass with every jump, and the neckline dipped low enough to show she wasn't wearing anything underneath.
Rito's blush detonated instantly, ears, neck, chest burning crimson. But his "Honest Body" reacted faster.
His morning wood, already present, surged into a diamond-hard 9-inch tent beneath the sheet. And because Lala was straddling him, she was grinding right against it.
'She's... she's not wearing panties,' Rito thought, his brain short-circuiting. 'I should push her off. I really should. But... she feels incredible.'
Instead of pushing her away, his hands instinctively moved to her waist to steady her. Her skin was warm and impossibly soft.
Lala landed, her knees pinning the sheet, effectively trapping him.
"I stayed up ALL night!" she sang, holding up a tiny golden heart-shaped gun. "Engagement Confirmation Beam, complete!"
Peke floated beside her, swirl eyes spinning. "Peke assisted. One hundred percent success rate."
Rito blinked, forcing his eyes away from her chest. 'She really built it overnight. In the manga, I just panicked. But this time...'
Lala leaned in, eyes sparkling. "Ready, husband~ ♡?"
She pulled the trigger.
Golden Heart Beam: FIRE.
A perfect heart-shaped beam shot from the gun, wrapping them both in shimmering light. Holographic rings snapped into place around their fingers, golden, glowing, impossible to remove. Devilukean text floated in the air: ENGAGED.
Lala squealed, tail swish-swish-swishing faster than ever, wrapping around Rito's wrist.
"It worked! We're officially engaged~! Daddy can't say anything now!"
Peke spun in circles. "Peke confirms royal seal. Husband-dono status: permanent."
Slide.
The bedroom door slid open.
Yuuki Mikan stood frozen in the doorway, a breakfast tray balanced on one hand.
She took in the scene. It was overwhelming, even for her:
Rito under the sheet, his face red but his hands resting on Lala's waist.
His morning wood making a massive, undeniable tent that Lala was currently sitting on.
Lala straddling him, her tail unconsciously curling around the bulge.
Holographic rings glowing on their fingers.
Her spoon hit the tray with a clink.
'Rito… got married…?!' she thought, her cheeks exploding crimson. 'Overnight?! With HER?! And... and they're doing THAT?!'
The tray tilted.
Splat.
Pudding splattered across the floor in a perfect caramel star.
Lala hopped off the bed, the T-shirt fluttering dangerously high.
"Morning!" she chirped, completely unbothered by the chaos. "You're Rito's sister, right? I'm his soon-to-be wife now! Let's get along!"
Mikan's blush reached nuclear levels. Her eyes were glued to Rito's crotch, which was still fully erect and twitching slightly from the sudden loss of friction.
Peke zipped forward, projecting a giant heart-shaped shield right in front of Mikan's eyes.
"Little Mistress is not cleared for Royal Scepter viewing," Peke announced, swirl eyes deadpan. "Current measurement: 9.0 inches. Threat level: lethal to virgin retinas."
Mikan's tray hit the floor with a crash.
"Peke!" Rito yelped, pulling his knees up to hide himself. "Don't call it that in front of my sister!"
"Understood, Husband-dono!" Peke replied, retracting the shield. "I shall refer to it as the 'Family Maker' instead."
"That's worse!"
…
Meanwhile, far away, on a golden spaceship cutting through the stars, an alarm blared.
Zastin's cape flared dramatically.
"NANI?!!"
"ENGAGEMENT CONFIRMED?!" he roared, crushing a communicator in his hand. "To that Earth boy?! PICK UP THE SPEED! FULL SPEED TO EARTH NOW!"
…
Back in the bedroom, the cleanup was finished, but the tension remained.
Golden hearts still floated lazily in the air. Rito's blush refused to fade completely, partly because of the ring on his finger, and partly because he could still feel the phantom sensation of Lala's thighs on his waist.
Lala bounced on the bed again, tail squeezing Rito's arm playfully. "Best morning ever!"
Mikan stared at the holographic ring on Rito's finger like it was a bomb timer.
Peke floated between them, swirl eyes spinning rapidly. "Peke detects incoming swordsman. Prepare for impact."
BOOM!
The ceiling exploded.
Debris rained down as golden sunlight poured through the brand-new skylight. Zastin crashed through in a swirl of silver hair and dramatic cape.
"I, ZASTIN, CHIEF SWORDSMAN OF DEVILUKE, HAVE COME FOR THE PRINCESS!"
He landed in a perfect three-point pose on the tatami mats, sword raised, cape billowing like a storm.
Rito sat on the bed, sheet clutched to his waist. His eyebrows twitched.
'Right on time,' Rito thought, his future memories flashing. 'Here comes the Chief Swordsman.'
Lala clapped her hands. "Zastin! You came to say hi!"
Mikan peeked from behind the doorframe, eyes wide with terror.
Peke floated forward. "Intruder detected. Threat level: dramatic."
Zastin's cape settled. He pointed his massive sword at Rito.
"Earth boy! You dare claim Princess Lala as your future wife? Then you must prove your worth in combat!"
Rito took a deep breath. In the original timeline, he had screamed. This time, he felt a strange sense of calm. He knew Zastin wasn't actually going to kill him. He was just... intense.
"Let's go to the backyard," Rito said, standing up and grabbing his pants. His voice was shaky, but determined. "I don't want Mikan cleaning up any more mess in here."
The backyard was quiet except for the buzzing of cicadas.
Rito stood face to face with the towering alien. Zastin struck a pose, his aura flaring.
"Let's begin the fight! Prepare yourself!"
He charged with astonishing speed.
Rito's eyes widened. He remembered this. 'He swings from the right!'
Rito didn't freeze. He ducked.
Whoosh!
The massive blade sliced the air exactly where Rito's head had been a second ago. Zastin's eyes widened in surprise. "Oho? You have reflexes!"
Rito scrambled back, his foot catching on the gardening hose.
"Woah!"
He pitched sideways, arms flailing. The sheet he had been holding (why was he still holding the sheet?) snagged on the clothesline. A pair of Mikan's white socks whipped off the line and slapped across Zastin's faceplate with a wet thwack, blinding him completely.
"Mmph?!"
Zastin swung blindly, and the massive sword connected with the metal laundry pole. The pole snapped back like a catapult—CLANG—and smacked Zastin square in the helmet.
He staggered back, ripping the socks off his face, just as Rito backpedaled into the rickety wooden ladder.
The ladder wobbled and collapsed, striking Zastin on the shoulder with a hollow thunk.
"Yield!" Zastin growled, leaping into the air for a decisive overhead strike.
Unfortunately, his foot landed on the single glass marble Lala had dropped last night after she was done with her invention.
Slip.
"Nuuuooo?!"
Zastin tumbled head-over-heels. His sword flew from his hand, embedding point-down in soft dirt. The impact burst the clasp on his chest armor; the breastplate clattered to the ground with a loud clang.
He dropped to his knees, disarmed, half-undressed, his cape tangled around one ankle.
Rito stopped, panting. He stared at the towering alien bodyguard on his knees. The absurdity of the situation hit him like a truck.
He touched his chest, breathing hard. A wave of determination washed over him. He needed to say it. Not just to survive, but because he meant it.
"Let's stop this whole ridiculous charade!"
Zastin and Lala looked up in surprise.
"You can't just force someone to get married!" Rito shouted, his voice raw but honest. "It doesn't work like that! Love isn't some battle or a contract you sign because your parents tell you to!"
He looked at Lala.
"It has to be real! People should be free to choose who they want to spend their life with; whether they're from Earth or outer space!"
His earnest words hung in the air.
Lala's eyes turned into sparkling stars. She clasped her hands together. "Oh, Rito… he really is the best, isn't he, Peke?"
Zastin stood slowly, retrieving his sword and reattaching his breastplate with a click. He looked at the sweaty, blushing, half-naked human teenager and sheathed his weapon with a respectful shiiing.
"I see," Zastin said, his voice full of newfound respect. "I had misjudged you, Earthling... no, Yuuki Rito. Your words are honorable, and your spirit is fierce. To speak of true love with such courage… you are worthy of Princess Lala's hand."
He bowed deeply.
"I will report back to His Majesty, King Deviluke. The princess has found a husband on Earth. My duty here is done."
With a dramatic swirl of what remained of his cape, Zastin leapt skyward and vanished into the clouds.
Rito stared up at the sky, the reality of his new life sinking in deeper than ever.
He looked at Lala, who was cheerfully inspecting a flattened tomato plant.
'This is just the first time,' he thought, clenching his fist. 'The harem... the chaos... it's all starting. If I'm going to survive living with aliens and protect Mikan and everyone else… I'm going to need to get stronger.'
He looked at the sky.
"Starting tomorrow," Rito muttered, "I'm going to train. Seriously train."
Lala's tail swish-swished behind him.
Peke floated forward. "Peke approves training schedule. Perhaps Husband-dono's Royal Scepter will also need stamina upgrades?"
Rito's blush returned full force. "Shut up, Peke!"
…
The school bell rang like a starting gun.
Rito walked down the hallway with Lala bouncing beside him in her new Sainan High uniform. Peke was disguised as a normal hairpin.
Every head turned.
Large, vibrant green eyes sparkling with curiosity. Pink hair tied in two pigtails. A tail swishing under the skirt like it had a mind of its own.
"Rito! This is Earth school~ ♡" Lala chirped, spinning in place. "Everyone looks so serious! On Deviluke we have zero-G dodgeball regularly!"
Peke's voice whispered from the hairpin. "Peke advises low profile, Mistress."
Unfortunately, it was too late. Lala tripped over nothing, arms windmilling. She crashed into Rito; face-planting straight into his crotch, her hands grabbing his hips for support.
Thump.
"Oof!"
His dick, already sensitive from the morning, woke instantly, tenting his uniform pants like a flagpole.
Class 2-A went silent.
Kotegawa Yui's voice cracked across the room like a whip.
"SHAMELESS!"
Sairenji Haruna turned around, her face turning scarlet.
Lala popped back up, tail swish. "Oops~ ♡ Earth gravity is tricky!"
She spun to wave at the class; her skirt flared up.
Ping!
Peke's heart-shield pinged into existence instantly, golden and perfect. Not a single boy saw anything; only Rito, standing right there, got the full flash of white panties with tiny golden crowns.
Rito's blush deepened. His dick throbbed so hard the zipper groaned.
'I've seen this kind of scenes before,' he thought, heart racing as he etched the image into his memory. 'The first day she wore the uniform. Same spin. Same smile. But... god, I'm still getting hit by it.'
…
Lunch break was chaos.
Lala sat on Rito's desk, legs swinging, her tail flicking his cheek every few seconds.
"Rito! Your friends are fun~ ♡"
Haruna approached timidly, holding her bento box, her cheeks pink. "Um… welcome to our class, Lala-san."
Yui marched over, arms crossed, the armband of the Disciplinary Committee gleaming. "This is a place of learning! Not… whatever this is!"
Lala tilted her head, large green eyes sparkling. "On Deviluke we study in zero-G. Wanna try?"
She pulled out a device.
"Lala, no need—" Rito started, knowing exactly what was coming.
But it was too late. The device backfired.
VWOOM.
Gravity flipped. Desks floated. Students floated. Skirts lifted.
Peke's shield expanded into a giant golden bubble around the entire classroom, protecting the girls' modesty from the other boys.
However, Rito was not on the filter list.
He floated helplessly through the air, tumbling forward.
Squish.
His face ended up buried deep in Haruna's chest.
Thump.
Lala drifted into him from behind, her tail wrapping around his thigh, her own softness pressing against his back.
Rito was sandwiched. Softness in front. Softness behind. And his traitorous, honest body reacted immediately. His erection slapped against Haruna's stomach through their clothes.
"Wa-wait Yuuki-kun!" Haruna squeaked, her face burning. "Don't press your face there! And... something is poking me!"
Rito didn't pull away immediately. He couldn't. And honestly... he didn't want to. He inhaled the scent of her shampoo.
"I-I'm sorry, Sairenji!" Rito stammered, his voice muffled by her uniform. "I'm stuck! But... you smell really nice..."
Haruna froze, steam practically shooting out of her ears. "Y-Yuuki-kun?!"
"Yayyy~ Zero-G is fun even in an Earth school!" Lala cheered, hugging Rito from behind.
Rito floated there, suspended in a harem sandwich, realizing that no amount of future knowledge could prevent his luck, but at least he could enjoy the view.
…
The bell rang. School ended in a blur.
Rito walked home with Lala skipping beside him, her tail wrapped around his wrist like a possessive bracelet.
Buzz.
Mikan's text buzzed his phone.
Mikan:My friends Sachie & Mami are coming tomorrow after school!! They heard about the "real alien princess" and won't shut up!! We need to prepare the guest room!!
Rito looked at the message silently.
'I don't remember this happening so early in the canon,' he thought. 'This must be the Butterfly Effect. My acceptance of Lala... it's changing things. Sachie and Mami coming over...'
He remembered those two. He remembered their curiosity from the OVA.
Lala squeezed his hand, large green eyes shining. "Rito~ ♡ More friends tomorrow?"
Rito looked at her. A small, honest smile crossed his face.
"Yeah," he said. "Mikan's school friends. It's going to be lively."
Peke's voice whispered from the hairpin.
"Peke calculates incoming elementary chaos."
*****
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