Rito woke not to his usual alarm, nor to Lala's cheerful, or Mikan's voice, or mechanical humming.
He woke to the sound of static.
It was a sharp, low rasp, a sound of interference that set his heart racing. He sat up in his bed, the sheets pooling around his waist. The first thing he registered, even before the noise outside, was the all-too-familiar tent the blanket was making over his lap.
'Well… These days I haven't even masturbated… The last action was my first-time with Lala, and after that, I didn't feel like masturbating anymore… But with all of this chaos in the last few days, I am getting quite frustrated in more ways than one…'
The window to his room was cracked open, and a low, mechanical hum filled the air, the ominous thrum of alien technology.
'Not again. These are alien drones.'
A sleepy, panicked voice drifted up from... beside him.
"R-Rito-kun…"
Rito froze. The voice was soft, scared... and coming from under his blanket, disturbingly close to the "tent".
He looked down. Run Elsie Jewelria, in her pajamas, was peeking out from under his covers, her light green hair splayed across his pillow.
'When did she even get in here?!' he screamed internally, his face instantly hot.
Run murmured, her voice soft with confusion. "What's that noise…?"
Her sleepy, unfocused eyes looked up at Rito's panicked face, then traveled down the slope of the blanket. Her gaze landed squarely on the prominent, unavoidable ridge in his lap. The 9-inch monster was already awake, its curved head pressing warm and urgent against the fabric, making its shape look even more obvious to Run's eyes.
Run's eyes went wide as saucers. A deep, spectacular blush consumed her entire face.
She didn't scream or pull away; she just stared, her mind clearly connecting Rito's "morning readiness" with her presence in his bed.
'S-so big… Rito-kun is so... manly… and prepared! Even when he's just waking up! He's already... welcoming me…'
Meanwhile Ren's subconscious roared, caused due to the sudden and pre-emptive defeat by Rito.
"THAT...! THAT BASTARD! HE'S ALREADY PREPARED FOR BATTLE AT DAWN?! HE KNEW SHE WAS HERE AND HE'S ALREADY...! I'VE LOST! I'VE LOST AGAIN IN THE CONTEST OF TRUE MANLINESS!"
Before Rito could even begin to process the girl in his bed, the drones, or his own biological needs, his door burst open. Lala bounced in, her tail swishing excitedly. She held a glowing, silver, discus-shaped shield.
"Paparazzi!" she cheered. "Peke just detected them! Let's play hide-and-seek!"
Mikan stormed in right behind her, clad in pajamas, her spatula raised. She stopped dead at the door, her eyes taking in the entire, damning scene: Lala at the door, Rito sitting up in bed, Run's head peeking out from the covers, and the unmistakable, large tent Rito was not even trying to hide.
Her face darkened, her usual mature demeanor cracking under the strain.
"Rito." she said, her voice dangerously calm, the spatula in her hand trembling slightly. "It's barely sunrise, and your room is already a circus. And... why is Run-san in your bed... under... that?"
Her eyes flicked pointedly down to his lap.
Rito let out a sigh, he was past the point of screaming denials.
He didn't bother trying to hide it; it was pointless.
He just looked Mikan, his face burning with a mixture of embarrassment and frustration.
"Mikan, this is just a normal biological function. It's called 'morning wood.' It just happens."
He took a sharp breath, his voice cracking slightly as he decided to just... be a little more honest with her.
"Look, I won't lie. Yeah, sometimes I get hard because I'm a guy and I'm surrounded by pretty girls all day and I have... you know, lewd thoughts. But this," he gestured vaguely under the blanket, "is just what happens when I wake up. It's not just because Run is here."
He saw the look of disbelief on Mikan's face. Maybe it was because he just woke up, or maybe he really wanted to say some things, but Rito kept on speaking.
"If you really don't believe me, you can find out for yourself! If you want, Mikan, you can even sleep with me tomorrow. You can... feel it for yourself and see that it happens no matter who is here!"
The room went dead silent.
Run, under the covers, let out a tiny, choked squeak, her face now steam-red.
Lala tilted her head. "Ooh! A sleep experiment with Rito's front-tail! Can I join~?"
Mikan just stared. Her face wasn't serious anymore; it was turning a slow, deep crimson.
The spatula slipped from her fingers and clattered onto the hardwood floor. Her eyes darted from Rito's defiant, embarrassed face, down to the tent under the blanket, and then quickly away to the wall, as if she couldn't bear to look but also couldn't stop thinking about it.
Truthfully, she was clearly tempted by the offer, even as she was horrified by it.
Mikan, stammering, her voice high and tight, "Ri... Rito... y-you can't just... s-say things like that... t-to your sister... W-what if I... what if I said yes...?"
The implication of her question, that she was considering it, shattered Rito's bravado. His face went supernova-red as he yanked the blanket up to his chin.
"I'm just tired of this! That's all! Now can we please deal with the alien drones outside the house?!"
…
Sainan High School – Morning.
Rito walked through the school gates, sandwiched between Lala and Run. Lala was cheerfully explaining her new idea for a rocket-powered lunchbox, while Run was still blushing from the "morning tent" incident. Rito was just trying to get to class, hoping the worst was over.
He was wrong.
The school PA system suddenly crackled to life, but it wasn't the usual monotone voice of the principal.
"BREAKING GALAXY NEWS!" a shrill, alien voice boomed, hijacking every speaker on campus.
A holographic screen flickered into existence above the courtyard, massive and shimmering, casting the entire field in an eerie blue glow. Every student stopped.
"MEMORZE HEIR/HEIRESS ELOPES WITH EARTH BOY!"
Clips played on loop, sharp and merciless:
Ren's failed tug-of-war, face-planting into the grass.
Rito's body flying backward, crashing onto a newly-transformed Run.
The accidental, intimate push-down in the grass.
Run's swooning, starry-eyed, flushed-cheek close-up.
"PRINCE REN OR PRINCESS RUN? SCANDAL! INTERSTELLAR BETTING POOLS ARE OPEN!"
Students froze mid-step. A forest of black mirrors rose as every phone in the school was aimed at the sky.
Rito and Run were frozen in the center of the courtyard, a spotlight of humiliation fixed directly on them.
Near the bleachers, Haruna's cheeks burned a painful crimson, her fingers tightening on her bag strap until the fabric creaked. She remembered her own accidental fall with Rito yesterday and felt a wave of sympathetic mortification.
Over by the shoe lockers, Risa and Mio were ecstatic.
"Mio, are you seeing this?!" Risa shrieked, bouncing on her toes. "They're broadcasting our footage!"
"It's not just a scandal, Risa," Mio said, her eyes gleaming. "It's syndicated!"
Near the main building, Saki watched with her arms crossed, flanked by her entourage.
"Utterly vulgar," Saki announced, her eye twitching. "Broadcasting such commoner indecency across the entire campus. This school's reputation is ruined."
"Saki-sama is right," Rin agreed.
Aya just looked worried. "Oh dear, Haruna-chan looks so upset…?"
Yui came marching onto the scene, her clipboard raised.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS UNAPPROVED BROADCA—"
She stopped, looked up, and saw the clip of Rito on top of Run. Her knees buckled, and she crumpled to the ground in a dead faint.
Lala, however, clapped her hands, her tail swishing with delight.
"Wow, Rito! Look! It's a movie about us! Your face looks so cute when you fall!"
Run gasped, her face turning a bright, matching pink to Lala's hair.
R-Rito-kun! T-that's us! They're... they're showing everyone... that moment in the grass!"
She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with mortification, though her voice was a high-pitched, excited squeal. "How embarrassing! They're treating it like we're... like we're a couple~!"
Rito didn't hesitate. He grabbed her and Lala's hand, his fingers intertwining with theirs.
"RUN!"
They bolted.
The courtyard erupted. The drones, having finished their broadcast, swarmed down like metallic locusts, their lenses glinting in the sun.
Drone Voices: "EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW! YUUKI-DONO! WAS THE GRASS SOFT?!"
One drone locked onto Run's face, its laser sight glowing red.
A laser selfie flash, a blinding white beam designed to stun and capture, began to charge.
Lala immediately spoke seeing this.
"Ooh! Let me help, Rito!" She started fumbling her D-Dial for a device. "I have my new Super-Mega-Happy-Fun-Blaster-kun!"
Rito glanced at the name of the invention and instantly decided that was the worst possible option.
His eyes darted frantically, until he saw the Sports Day trophy, still perched foolishly on the podium from the previous day.
He lunged and grabbed the polished silver cup.
He didn't think much; he just reacted. He angled the reflective surface toward the incoming flash.
ZAP!
The blinding beam bounced off the trophy, magnified and redirected. It hit the drone swarm itself.
CRASH!
The drones smoked, short-circuited, and fell from the sky, raining down onto the courtyard in a pile of smoking scrap metal.
The entire student body was silent, staring at Rito, who was panting, still holding the trophy like a hero.
Run stared, her pink eyes wide with awe.
"Rito-kun…" she whispered, her voice trembling with adoration. "You're so smart… and brave! You always save me!"
She stepped closer, her hand brushing his arm.
Lala pouted, lowering the Super-Mega-Happy-Fun-Blaster-kun. "Aww~, Rito! You broke my new toys! I wanted to play with them!"
Meanwhile, in Run's subconscious, a certain manly wail sounded: "STOP! THAT'S MY BODY! HE'S GAINING AFFECTION POINTS FOR VANDALIZING SCHOOL PROPERTY!"
*****
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