Tang Zeyan paused at the doorway like he was prepping for a boss fight he didn't train enough for. Every stupid fear he had all the way upstairs was clawing at him again. What if Ning Wen locked him out? What if he ignored him forever? What if today ruined everything?
Except… the door was open.
He pushed it gently. Dark room. Moonlight spilling in through the window like some dramatic stage lighting. And just like that, he wanted to laugh at himself. How could he even imagine Ning Wen shutting him out? Ning Wen, who literally couldn't be rude even if someone paid him. Ning Wen, who treated people like they were soft animals who needed gentle handling. Ning Wen, who let the world step on him but still smiled.
That kindness was beautiful and precious… and honestly, Tang Zeyan hated it sometimes. Because people took advantage of it. Because they took advantage of him. That wouldn't happen anymore. Not if Tang Zeyan was breathing.
He stepped inside quietly, closing the door behind him.
"Brother Ning… are you angry with me?" His voice dropped soft, almost afraid. The idea of Ning Wen feeling uneasy around him made something in his chest twist unpleasantly.
But Ning Wen didn't answer.
He was curled up under the blanket like a terrified little dumpling, pretending to sleep, eyes squeezed shut. He didn't want to hear Tang Zeyan's voice, but the silence wasn't helping either because his heart was doing that stupid spark-jump thing again.
Tang Zeyan let out a tiny smile. "It's okay. We can talk tomorrow. I just hope you won't avoid me… or dislike me. That's the only thing I fear the most."
The last part was barely above a whisper, but Ning Wen still heard it. And it hit him straight in the chest like electricity.
Tang Zeyan moved softly around the room, washed up, and slipped into bed. He lay on his side, staring through the dark where Ning Wen was hiding under the blanket. His gaze was heavy, warm, wanting.
He wished he could see Ning Wen's face before sleeping, like every night before. But since Ning Wen was basically playing corpse mode tonight, he didn't push.
He closed his eyes and pictured Ning Wen's smile instead. Imagined the way his eyes softened, imagined the quiet warmth he radiated. Imagined Ning Wen not running away from him tomorrow.
Then he let himself fall asleep, praying that the morning would be kinder to them both.
The room was so still it almost felt like it was holding its breath. Tang Zeyan had finally drifted off, his breathing slow and calm, the kind of peace Ning Wen hadn't felt in forever.
Ning Wen, meanwhile, was anything but peaceful.
He lifted his head from under the blanket and peeked at Tang Zeyan's sleeping figure, barely outlined by the moonlight. Then he stared up at the ceiling, expression blank, heart a full chaotic mess.
He couldn't do this.
He had no idea what he was supposed to do.
It felt like the past and the present were pulling him apart from opposite sides, and both hurt in completely different ways.
His past clung to him like a shadow that refused to let go.
A nightmare he never woke from. A voice he never escaped.
And his present…
His present was everything he once wished for. Everything he thought he'd never get.
Warmth. Safety. Someone who looked at him like only he mattered.
But it came too suddenly, too beautifully, in a way he didn't know how to hold.
He was terrified that grabbing it too tightly would shatter it.
Terrified that it would shatter him.
He bit his lip, breath trembling as Jiang Kaishan's words crawled back into his mind like poison.
"Don't do anything stupid I hate."
"I just hope you know the consequences of daring to let someone else enter your heart."
"And don't you dare ignore my calls again.
Otherwise I'll make sure everyone there knows exactly who you belong to.
I keep my promises."
Those threats echoed over and over, each one sharper than the last.
Ning Wen clutched the blanket, nails digging into the fabric as his chest tightened painfully.
He wanted to protect this newfound warmth.
He wanted to run away from it.
He wanted to hide.
He wanted to stay.
And most of all, he wanted the voices from his past to stop stealing the parts of his present that finally felt like they were his.
Ning Wen lay there trembling under the thin blanket, the darkness around him thick but nothing compared to the darkness curling inside his chest.
If it were the past…
He would've nodded.
He would've smiled.
He would've convinced himself Jiang Kaishan's possessiveness was some twisted form of affection he should be grateful for.
He would've thought,
He cares about me.
He wants me.
I'm lucky.
But now?
Now every word Jiang Kaishan said felt like a hand tightening around his throat.
Suffocating.
Crushing.
Especially that line about someone else entering his heart.
He couldn't answer. Not because he agreed.
But because he knew, painfully clearly, that it was already too late.
What has to happen, happens anyway.
He didn't want to accept it.
Didn't want to name it.
Didn't want to look at it directly.
But his heart wasn't lying.
His mind wasn't blind.
Both had already settled on the truth long before he dared to recognize it.
There was someone else.
Someone steady.
Someone warm.
Someone terrifyingly gentle.
And that someone was not Jiang Kaishan. Not even close.
He wasn't foolish enough to not notice it…
He was just scared. Terrified.
Too cowardly to turn toward something that felt real, something that felt like safety.
Because wanting the present felt just as dangerous as running from the past.
Both sides were equally terrifying.
His throat tightened.
He swallowed hard and reached for his waist, fingers brushing against the old scar.
Burnt into him.
Etched into his skin like ownership he never asked for.
A reminder of what he once believed was "normal" in love.
A reminder of how wrong he'd been.
His eyes filled as he squeezed them shut, his breath shaking while the memories clawed at him from the dark.
The smell of smoke and alcohol.
The sting of fire.
Jiang Kaishan's cold voice.
The way Ning Wen kept telling himself it wasn't that bad, it was just love, since he had upset him, he deserved punishment, he should endure it.
The past flashed like a nightmare reel on repeat, refusing to fade.
The cold that night wasn't just weather. It hung in the air of the house like a warning.
Ning Wen stepped inside after a brutal shift, still half in doctor mode, tugging off his lab coat while replaying a critical case in his head. He didn't expect warmth or celebration, but he didn't expect this either.
A stillness filled the living room. The kind that makes the skin prickle before the danger even shows itself.
Then he saw him.
Jiang Kaishan sat slouched on the couch, legs propped on the tea table like he owned the walls, the floor, the air. His shirt hung open, buttons undone, hair a mess. He reeked of cigarettes and alcohol, a lit one burning between his fingers. The glow of it only sharpened the darkness twisting across his expression.
"Kai Shan, I'm sorry. There was a critical patient I needed to—"
Ning Wen's breath cut off when Jiang Kaishan slammed his foot onto the floor. A sharp, deliberate stomp. The sound cracked through the room like a warning shot.
He was in a terrible mood.
Ning Wen recognized it instantly.
And that terrified him more than any failing heartbeat in the ER ever could.
"Kai Shan, please don't be mad—"
The words barely formed before Jiang Kaishan seized his wrists. Hard. Rough. The kind of grip that didn't just restrain; it punished.
"Kai Shan, w- what are you doing?" Ning Wen whispered, wincing as the stench of heavy alcohol and smoke rolled off him.
Jiang Kaishan leaned in until Ning Wen could feel the heat of his breath on his cheek. Ning Wen tried to turn away, but fingers clamped around his chin, forcing him still. Then Jiang Kaishan crushed their mouths together in a kiss that wasn't a kiss, not really. It was force wearing the mask of affection.
Ning Wen's eyes flew wide.
"Kai Shan, stop… you know I don't like this… not when you're drunk… please, stop." His voice trembled between breaths, between the bruising pressure. His hands pressed against Jiang Kaishan's chest, not in affection but in a desperate attempt to push him back.
Jiang Kaishan's face tightened, something ugly flashing in his expression.
"Stop moving. We're in a relationship, aren't we? Isn't this normal?"
His grip on Ning Wen's chin tightened until it hurt. Until the message was clear.
Normal meant whatever Jiang Kaishan decided.
And Ning Wen's comfort never once entered the definition.
"More than five years… and you're still uncomfortable kissing me? Who are you trying to fool, huh?" Jiang Kaishan's breath was heavy and husky as he held Ning Wen's face. With his other hand, he drew a puff from his cigarette and blew it across Ning Wen's skin, making him recoil.
"Kai Shan… stop!" Ning Wen muttered, voice trembling.
"Why? You don't like it with me… but you enjoy it with others, huh?"
"The hell are you talking about?" Ning Wen's eyes narrowed, pride and fear colliding. "I was at the hospital, Jiang Kaishan! Don't accuse me of things I'd never do!"
"Oh? So what's the problem with kissing me?"
"I've told you a million times… I don't like it when you're drunk or smoking. It's disgusting. Let me go!"
"Disgusting, huh? I see." Jiang Kaishan's hand moved deliberately, sliding Ning Wen's shirt out of his pants. His fingers grazed the soft, pale skin of Ning Wen's waist, sending a shiver of fear through him.
"Kai Shan… stop… please, what are you—agh!" Ning Wen screamed as heat suddenly seared his skin. The lit cigarette burned him, the pain sharp and immediate, leaving no room for mercy.
"Stop— Jiang Kaishan, stop! Please!" Ning Wen's voice cracked, the words tumbling out between sharp breaths. Tears streamed down his face as he twisted helplessly, but Jiang Kaishan's hold was unshakeable.
"It hurts… it hurts a lot… please…" Ning Wen choked out, eyes squeezed shut as the burning sting sliced into his skin again.
"If it hurts that much, then don't come home late again." Jiang Kaishan's tone was low, almost lazy. "I hate walking into an empty house without my pretty little thing waiting on the couch with dinner. So don't let it happen again. Understand?"
His lips brushed Ning Wen's wet cheek, almost tender, ruined only by the cruelty behind it.
Ning Wen nodded frantically, terrified. "Y-yes… I'll come home early… I promise… please, Kai Shan, stop… please, it hurts… I'm begging you…"
But Jiang Kaishan didn't stop. The cigarette traced over Ning Wen's skin in slow circles, like he was doodling on paper instead of burning flesh.
"Stop! Please!" Ning Wen cried out, voice hoarse. "I'll do anything—anything you want! I'll be home early every night, I swear, I swear… just stop…"
"There you go." Jiang Kaishan finally smiled, satisfied. "My good boy."
He pressed a light kiss to Ning Wen's forehead, warm in a way that made the moment even colder, then stepped back. With absolute calm, he took another drag of the cigarette and walked to the balcony to take a phone call, moving as if nothing had happened at all.
Ning Wen's skin burned, the pain spreading through him like fire, making his legs weak. He staggered toward the bathroom, hastily grabbing the first aid kit, his muffled noises echoing off the tiles as he treated the wounds. Every movement, every touch, sent fresh jolts of pain through him.
The shower hurt even more, each droplet of water stinging the already raw burns, but he endured it, forcing himself through it. When he finally stepped out, his face was red, swollen, and tear-streaked, his body trembling from exhaustion and pain.
Meanwhile, Jiang Kaishan lounged on the bed, leaning back against the headrest. He turned off his phone, voice low and sharp as he asked, "What are you doing?"
Ning Wen blinked, confused, his voice shaky, breath hitching with quiet sobs. "S-sleeping… I have an early appointment tomorrow…"
Jiang Kaishan muttered, dark and cold, "Ah yes… that damn hospital. I really regret ever letting you study medicine."
Hearing that, Ning Wen's eyes fell to the floor. He felt smaller than ever, at his lowest point with no one to protect or comfort him. It was Jiang Kaishan who had paid for his tuition, his books, every single expense of his studies—the reason Ning Wen could never truly leave him. Jiang Kaishan had given him the chance to fulfill his dream, and that alone chained Ning Wen in ways he couldn't escape.
Ning Wen struggled to breathe, his chest tight, when Jiang Kaishan suddenly stomped toward him and grabbed his wrist. The force shocked him.
"Jiang Kaishan, what are you doing? Stop…" he tried to pull away, but his efforts were useless.
Before he could react further, Jiang Kaishan opened the front door and shoved him out of the apartment.
"What… what are you doing?" Ning Wen gasped, the cold hallway air hitting him like a slap as he stumbled outside.
Jiang Kaishan's lips curved into a dark, knowing smirk. "Since you love your hospital so much, why bother sleeping here? Go, sleep there. I'm sure they have a place for a favorite doctor like you. See? I'm being kind—making sure you won't be late for your early appointment."
Ning Wen's body shivered violently. "Jiang Kaishan… stop joking… this isn't right. I've already apologized, done everything you wanted… why are you doing this? It's… it's humiliating… embarrassing…" His voice broke, tears welling up. Pride and respect for himself and his work had always been important, and tonight, every ounce of it felt crushed.
Jiang Kaishan chuckled, low and cold. "Exactly. Isn't your pride so big? That's why I'm doing this. Ruin it just enough for you to remember… and never repeat your mistakes." With that, he slammed the door shut, leaving Ning Wen frozen.
Ning Wen knocked desperately, calling out his name, tears streaming down his cheeks. When the door finally opened, hope flickered in his heart—only for Jiang Kaishan to throw his phone away and slam the door again.
That night was a perfect lesson in how Jiang Kaishan could extinguish light and hope from Ning Wen's life. Ning Wen should have learned his lesson… but deep inside, he still clung to the faint, impossible hope that someday the light would return. Yet tonight, it had not.
All that remained was darkness—pitch-black, absolute, where he couldn't even see himself.
Suddenly, a light flickered on, sharp and piercing, cutting through the shadow like a blade. Ning Wen blinked rapidly, his wet lashes trembling as he struggled to adjust, the brightness burning slightly at his eyes.
And then he saw them—deep hazel eyes, calm yet intense, staring straight into his.
Tang Zeyan leaned casually against the bed, relaxed, almost effortless, yet there was something about him that radiated warmth and quiet strength. The light seemed to cling to him, highlighting his presence as if he himself were glowing, a stark contrast to the darkness Ning Wen had been trapped in.
Ning Wen's heart skipped a beat. Tears spilled over before he even realized it. For the first time in what felt like forever, he didn't know whether to think, to hope, or to run… and yet he couldn't look away.