"Brother Ning… are you okay?" Tang Zeyan's voice was gentler than ever, layered with patience and softness—things Ning Wen had never truly felt before.
"Y-Yeah… yeah, I'm fine." Ning Wen quickly wiped his tears, forcing a shaky smile, though he couldn't understand how he'd let himself break down like this—or wake Tang Zeyan in the middle of the night.
"I'm sorry… I disturbed your sleep..." he muttered, quietly perching on the edge of the bed, too timid to meet those steady, hazel eyes.
Tang Zeyan's gaze softened but didn't waver. "Brother Ning… when will you stop lying… to everyone, and to yourself?" His voice was low, deliberate, each word pressing against Ning Wen like a weight he couldn't move, leaving him frozen, unable to respond.
Tang Zeyan didn't want to make Ning Wen any more uneasy or sad.
Seeing those beautiful eyes glistening with tears felt like standing in a pit of fire—each sniffle from Ning Wen burned Tang Zeyan's heart. His sleep had already been light, restless, his mind constantly circling around Ning Wen, sensing that something was wrong. And then… he heard it: a soft, barely-there sniffle, so faint it could have gone unnoticed. But Tang Zeyan, whose every thought was fixed on Ning Wen, caught it immediately.
He got up, turning on the light just enough to see Ning Wen—red-eyed, teary, and quietly hurting. Tang Zeyan felt the ache in his own chest, but he kept his expression calm, not wanting to overwhelm Ning Wen further.
"Brother Ning," he said softly, voice warm like a blanket against the chill, "if you aren't sleepy… would you like to go to the balcony with me? It's cold, but the sky looks beautiful tonight."
Ning Wen, desperate for a distraction, nodded gently. He rose from the bed and followed Tang Zeyan toward the balcony, each step quiet, tentative, yet somehow steady.
"The moon is really pretty, isn't it, Brother Ning?" Tang Zeyan said, his words soft, his eyes were on Ning Wen instead.
Ning Wen gripped the balcony railing, nodding as he let his gaze sweep over the moonlit sky. Stars dotted the clear night, more vivid here in the hillside village. Dark forest silhouettes framed the horizon, the cold wind brushing past, carrying a calmness that slowly eased the turmoil in his mind. For the first time in hours, Ning Wen felt… peaceful.
"Brother Ning, would you like to sneak some snacks?" Tang Zeyan added, a teasing lilt in his voice.
Ning Wen chuckled, shaking his head. "Where'd you find snacks at 2 a.m.?"
Tang Zeyan's grin widened. "Don't worry. I always stay prepared." He dashed inside, returning with a backpack brimming with chips, candies, and little treats. "Always ready… like a crime partner."
Ning Wen smiled, lips curving up naturally. Taking a small packet of chips, he teased gently, "You're just like Lil Yue. He also carries snacks everywhere."
"Really?" Tang Zeyan asked, curious.
"Yes… you two have quite a few similar traits."
"That's good," Tang Zeyan said, stepping closer, his voice low and deliberate. "I want to have more traits like him… for you."
"For example?" Ning Wen tilted his head, leaning on the railing, letting the wind tousle his hair.
"For example… being close to you, just like Brother Yue. You two are so comfortable with each other. I want you to feel that comfortable and happy with me too… though, of course, there must be a difference between him and me."
Ning Wen's heart skipped a beat. "Oh… and what is that difference?"
Tang Zeyan's eyes darkened under the starry sky, his voice magnifying in the cold night, deep and unwavering. "Brother Yue is your best friend… but me? I want to be more than that."
Ning Wen's face flushed crimson, and he quickly looked away, unable to meet Tang Zeyan's gaze, feeling the weight of that confession and the gentle heat it brought to his chest.
"I… about that…" Ning Wen's voice trailed off, disappearing into the cold night air. The words tangled in his throat, stuck between fear and something dangerously close to hope.
Tang Zeyan shook his head gently. "It's okay. I'm not asking you to answer now." His smile softened, but his eyes didn't. "You can dodge it for a bit."
Before Ning Wen could feel relieved, Tang Zeyan leaned in. Just a tiny step. One that felt like slipping over the edge of something he couldn't climb back from.
Warm breath brushed Ning Wen's ear as Tang Zeyan added, voice low enough to steal the air from his lungs, "But you can't avoid it forever. Now or later, I'll still want your answer. And you won't be able to resist."
Ning Wen froze, heat flickering across his skin despite the cold wind. Tang Zeyan leaned against the railing like he owned the night, eyes fixed shamelessly on Ning Wen's reddened ears.
"Brother Ning," he said, teasing and too gentle at the same time, "why aren't you speaking?"
Ning Wen didn't even know when the distance had evaporated. One moment they were comfortably apart; the next he could feel Tang Zeyan's warmth brushing against him like an invitation he wasn't brave enough to touch.
His chest tightened when those deep hazel eyes locked onto his. He forgot how to breathe for a second. Then Tang Zeyan reached out.
His hand trembled—just slightly, barely enough to notice—before cupping Ning Wen's cheek with aching care. As if Ning Wen were made of something breakable.
Tang Zeyan's thumb brushed the corner of Ning Wen's lips, wiping away the chips crumbs with a small smile. "Didn't expect Brother Ning to be a messy eater."
"I'm… I'm not…" Ning Wen stammered, ears burning. "I just didn't notice…"
He didn't look away. He couldn't.
That touch. That absurdly gentle touch. It made warmth bloom through him in places that had known only pain before. His cheek fit perfectly against Tang Zeyan's palm, and for a moment Ning Wen had the dizzy urge to lean into it. To stay there.
Because for the first time in years, someone's touch didn't hurt.
For the first time in years, Ning Wen didn't flinch.
Tang Zeyan watched every tiny shift in Ning Wen's expression like they were stars only he knew how to read and loved to read, his thumb tracing the softest line along Ning Wen's cheekbone before he whispered, barely audible under the wind, "See? This… suits you better."
He didn't say the rest aloud, but the air between them carried it anyway.
This kind of touch.
This kind of care.
This kind of person.
Ning Wen's heart trembled hard enough to shake the rest of him.
Tang Zeyan tilted his head slightly, watching Ning Wen's breathing quicken.
"What's wrong, Brother Ning? You look tense." His voice dropped into something warm, steady. "If something's bothering you, just tell me. I'll handle it properly."
His thumb traced Ning Wen's cheek again, unhurried, gentle, like he was trying to reassure him with touch alone. His other hand lifted as well, brushing lightly against the curve of Ning Wen's ear. The soft tug made Ning Wen's fingers tighten around the railing, the other hand clutching the fabric of his shirt to ground himself. Every stroke sent a wave of goosebumps across his skin.
"Your ears are so red," Tang Zeyan murmured, leaning a fraction closer. His fingertip skimmed the shell of Ning Wen's ear, slow enough to drive a man insane. "And they're hot too."
"It's… because of the cold," Ning Wen blurted, heat crawling all the way down his neck. "I'm sensitive to cold."
Tang Zeyan raised a brow. "Sensitive to cold?"
"Yes. Obviously..."
"You're not lying to me, are you?"
"No, I'm not… why would I lie?"
Tang Zeyan's eyes softened, the corner of his lips lifting. "Brother Ning, do you hear that?"
"H-Hear what?"
"A loud thumping." His gaze dropped to Ning Wen's chest before drifting back up. "Like someone's heart is beating out of their chest in this quiet night."
Ning Wen froze. His entire face burned as he realized exactly what Tang Zeyan was hearing. He didn't dare look up. Didn't dare breathe too hard. Everything in him felt too hot, too exposed, and Tang Zeyan was close enough to catch every tiny tremble.
Tang Zeyan's gaze didn't waver for even a heartbeat. His hand slipped away from Ning Wen's ear, fingers brushing down to his shoulder. From there, his touch traveled slowly, deliberately, tracing the line of Ning Wen's arm like a quiet promise until he reached his hand. He lifted Ning Wen's palm with both care and certainty, guiding it to rest against his own chest.
"I think you can hear it," he murmured.
"My heartbeat. Isn't it loud? Like it's trying to break out of my chest. Strange, right?"
Relief washed through Ning Wen for one fragile second, realizing Tang Zeyan meant his own heartbeat, not Ning Wen's. But that relief shattered just as fast, replaced by a heat that spread from his shoulder to his fingertips. His hand against Tang Zeyan's chest felt too warm, and the steady, powerful thumping beneath his palm only made the moment more intoxicating. The rhythm grew quicker, stronger, as if reacting to his touch.
"Do you think I should see a doctor?" Tang Zeyan asked, voice deceptively light. "Though… I don't think any doctor can fix this. Except you."
Those words hit deeper than the cold air, slipping under Ning Wen's skin, peeling away every layer he used to keep himself composed. Tang Zeyan spoke as if he already knew each secret weakness hiding inside him.
And Ning Wen—who had spent years starving on scraps of affection—felt something inside him crumble. Was he really this desperate for gentleness? For someone's warmth? For a touch that didn't hurt?
He didn't dislike it.
He wanted it.
He had been craving this without even knowing.
"Then… don't go to anyone else," Ning Wen whispered, almost too quietly.
Tang Zeyan's hand froze on his cheek. His eyes widened just enough to betray the impact of those words.
Ning Wen leaned in, slow and unsure, but brave in the way someone is when they finally let themselves want something. His palm slid up Tang Zeyan's chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. His other hand rose to cover the one still cupping his cheek, holding it tighter than before. Not rough, not desperate, just… needing him there.
Each tiny movement sent a shock straight down Tang Zeyan's spine. His breath stuttered. His whole body reacted, every nerve awake, his lips parting as his eyes locked helplessly onto Ning Wen's.
"Tang Zeyan," Ning Wen whispered, voice lower than he meant, soft enough to ruin. "Can you do me a favor?" he added, barely audible.
Tang Zeyan's throat bobbed. "Brother Ning… when you say my name like that, I don't think I'm capable of refusing you."
Ning Wen's eyes blibked gently, staring at him, expectantly.
"Tell me," Tang Zeyan murmured, voice rougher now, hanging on every syllable.
Ning Wen's gaze dropped. His teeth caught his bottom lip, and Tang Zeyan felt the hit straight to his chest. If his heart had been loud before, now it was practically punching him from the inside.
"Would you please…" Ning Wen hesitated, breath catching, "not hate me for making you wait so long. For not giving you… an answer yet."
The night went very still.
Only wind.
Only their breath mingling between them.
Only Tang Zeyan's heartbeat thundering under Ning Wen's hand.
Tang Zeyan didn't move. Not because he was cold. Not because he was shocked.
But because for the first time, Ning Wen wasn't just reacting to his affection…
he was reaching back.
Ning Wen's face burned. The embarrassment hit him so sharply he almost wished the floor would do him a favor and swallow him whole. He was already preparing to mentally curl up and regret every word when Tang Zeyan's hands came up and cradled his face, guiding him gently, firmly, to look up.
Tang Zeyan's fingers pressed lightly into his soft cheeks, grounding him. His smile was steady, but the tiny tremor behind it betrayed the chaos he was barely holding together.
"Brother Ning," he said quietly, "I could never hate you. Never."
His voice carried something raw underneath the calm tone, something tight and hungry he was obviously fighting to keep under control. Ning Wen felt that thrum of suppressed emotion like a pulse under Tang Zeyan's hazel eyes, warm and desperate and too honest.
Tang Zeyan leaned in, breath brushing Ning Wen's lips as he continued, "You're the only person I'd ever wait for. Willingly. Happily. No matter how long it takes."
Ning Wen's fingers tightened on Tang Zeyan's shirt.
"Because when you finally choose to give yourself to me…" Tang Zeyan's smile deepened, soft but devastating, "I know it'll be worth every second. Waiting for you feels sweet, Brother Ning. Sweeter than you think."
How could anyone say words like that? And how was a person supposed to survive hearing them? Ning Wen didn't even know people spoke to each other this way, like feelings weren't something meant to be rationed. Like devotion could be stated out loud without shame.
No one had ever said things like this to him. No one had ever made him feel seen like this. His chest tightened, emotions threatening to spill over, and he knew if he let the moment stretch even a second longer, he would completely fall apart right there.
"G-good… then… it's late," Ning Wen muttered, eyes darting away. "We have to wake up early tomorrow, so… let's just sleep."
It was a flimsy escape route, but at least it was an escape.
Tang Zeyan didn't push. He just smiled, soft and unbearably patient, the kind of patience that made Ning Wen's heart throb painfully.
"Okay," he said quietly, "as you say, Brother Ning."
But his hands remained exactly where they were, warm against Ning Wen's face, thumbs resting lightly on his cheeks as if letting go wasn't even an option. The gentle touch made Ning Wen's heartbeat spike all over again, betraying him completely.
Tang Zeyan simply held him there, close enough to feel each other breathe, close enough that the cold night air didn't stand a chance against the heat rising between them.
Ning Wen didn't actually want to pull away. His body said stay, stay just a little longer. But he forced himself to wait, expecting Tang Zeyan to step back.
Except Tang Zeyan didn't.
Instead, he leaned in, close enough that Ning Wen felt soft breaths brushing over his lips. Ning Wen froze, eyes dropping instinctively to Tang Zeyan's mouth… only for Tang Zeyan to tilt up and press the faintest, lightest kiss to his forehead. Barely there, but somehow shattering.
"Please sleep well," Tang Zeyan whispered against his skin, voice warm but strained. Like he was holding onto his own control with both hands. Like the thought of Ning Wen falling asleep unhappy while thinking of unpleasant past physically hurt him.
That sincerity hit deeper than it should have.
Ning Wen's heart tightened, something melting so fast inside him it almost scared him. He let himself feel that kiss fully this time, let it settle into him. It was nothing like the ones Jiang Kaishan used to give. Those were pressure, toxicity, duty.
This one? It was care.
Warm. Tender. And… lovely, in a way Ning Wen didn't even know touches could be.
"I will," Ning Wen finally said, breathing out slowly, eyes lifting to meet Tang Zeyan's.
Tang Zeyan looked at him like love wasn't something complicated, like loving Ning Wen was the easiest and prettiest thing his heart ever decided to do. And for the first time, Ning Wen didn't push that feeling away. He took it in. Let it soak into him.
He allowed himself a moment with no defenses. No fear. Just him, and this boy, and the quiet night holding them together.
Even if it was small, even if it was fragile… he wanted this.
Even if he wasn't ready for more...