At 7 AM, Dorm 603 sounded like a concert hall.
Chen Pingjiang's alarm rang first:
"Let the autumn wind take away my longing, take away my tears. I have been tightly guarding the agreed place."
Next was Dong Tinghui's alarm:
"I'm here waiting for you to come back, waiting for you to come back, to see the peach blossoms bloom..."
Interspersed was Guo Dewen's alarm:
"Can we still meet again? I've prayed earnestly before Buddha for thousands of years, willing to exchange several lifetimes for one lifetime of our love, hoping to move heaven..."
Finally, Zhao Shaoyang's:
"I still want to do it with you, still want to do it with you. That crazy night, you were really amazing."
Chen Pingjiang always had morning grumpiness.
Hearing Zhao Shaoyang's flamboyant alarm, he immediately grumbled:
"What is this, a Renaissance?"
To be fair, the Chinese music scene in 2006 was truly a battle of gods.
Some songs, even after more than ten years, still don't sound outdated in their arrangement, and old songs even occasionally go viral again.
It's nothing like 2023, where new songs on apps are few and far between, mostly covers of old songs.
At the beginning of the year, there were "Invisible Wings," "Cao Cao," "Romance of the Three Kingdoms," "Millennium Tears."
By mid-year, "I Want to Understand You More," "Serious Snow." Recently, there's been the huge hits "A Thousand Miles Away," "Only You Can Feel It," "Today I'm Going to Marry You."
And at the end of the year, "Little Love Song," "Under Mount Fuji," "Confession," which haven't been released yet.
Each song was popular and exceptionally strong.
The same was true for TV shows and movies.
At the beginning of the year, "My Own Swordsman" started playing stories in the Tongfu Inn; "Fearless" was Jet Li's last action film; "The Little Fairy," "The Return of the Condor Heroes," "Soldiers Sortie" were all classics.
All these constituted the memories of 2006.
Sometimes Chen Pingjiang even thought he could get rich just by copying songs.
The washing room was unusually busy in the morning.
After queuing and finishing their wash-up, the guys from Dorm 603 walked towards Canteen No. 2.
As soon as they arrived at Canteen No. 2, it was clearly the busiest time for breakfast, but Chen Pingjiang felt a strange atmosphere amidst the hustle and bustle.
Those not wearing military training uniforms and those wearing them were vaguely looking in a certain direction in the canteen.
Faintly, a few conversations could be heard.
"Is that a freshman, woc, so beautiful. Jiang Bei's title of campus beauty might not be safe."
"Do you dare to go ask for her QQ?"
"No, I'm afraid of being called a toad wanting to eat swan meat."
...
"If I could marry a wife like that, I'd set up a table for all the dogs in the village."
...
Chen Pingjiang raised an eyebrow,
"It seems there's a super beauty in Canteen No. 2."
Zhao Shaoyang replied,
"I heard it too, but where is she?"
He said, looking around.
Dong Tinghui was more observant, pointing to a girl not far away, sitting at a dining table, dressed in casual clothes, laughing and chatting with several other girls in military training uniforms.
From time to time, boys would deliberately detour past her to sneak a glance, and even girls were no exception.
When it comes to looks, if everyone is similar, most will be jealous.
Only when the gap is considerably large will there only be admiration, a gap so large that it prevents even a hint of jealousy from arising.
"Shall we go take a look, brothers?"
The horny Zhao Shaoyang was battle-ready, while the others were not interested.
Dong Tinghui was recently chatting hotly with Wang Liwen on QQ, Wang Lei and a few others were the secretly flirty type, and as for Chen Pingjiang, what kind of beauty hadn't he seen?
"What the hell are you looking at? As soon as women are mentioned, you can't even move your three legs, Shaoyang. Listen to your older brother, you can't handle a beauty of that caliber."
Chen Pingjiang teased him earnestly.
Zhao Shaoyang rolled his eyes,
"Brother Chen, you're a rich man who doesn't know the hunger of a poor man. If I had a girlfriend like Zhang Xinyue, how could other common women catch my eye?"
The others deeply agreed.
Chen Pingjiang, without blushing or a racing heart, immediately gave a triple denial:
"We have no relationship, it's not what you think, don't talk nonsense."
"Brother Chen, I found your mouth is harder than a corpus cavernosum."
Wang Lei, a usually quiet guy who barely spoke, suddenly blurted out.
This left Chen Pingjiang speechless.
"How can a 37-degree mouth say something colder than -50 degrees?" Guo Dewen added, delivering a precise strike.
Chen Pingjiang: "..."
Given that he usually said too many playful remarks and brought up many future memes, his younger brothers learned quickly.
Chen Pingjiang changed the subject, staring at Dong Tinghui, who was tapping away at his phone, and glanced at the screen from the corner of his eye.
Wang Liwen: "By the way, how tall are you?"
Dong Tinghui: "175."
"Old Dong, I usually see you're quite a ladies' man. You hooked up with Wang Liwen on the first day of enrollment, and you still haven't sealed the deal?"
Chen Pingjiang, having trained his eye-scanning skills by reading hundreds of novels, instantly scanned their conversation.
The entire conversation was filled with closed-ended chat.
For example, Wang Liwen sent:
"Good night."
Dong Tinghui replied:
"Sweet dreams."
"I don't know how to take it to the next step either. Now, I just feel like there's always a layer between us, and her attitude towards me feels lukewarm. I'm also afraid of pursuing too aggressively and scaring her away."
Dong Tinghui sighed.
Chen Pingjiang smiled.
Boys without dating experience lacked the skill to make a decisive move.
This feeling was like only being able to rub at the entrance, never quite getting inside.
"I have a 'Love Manual,' a secret that is not to be passed down. Upon its mastery, you can conquer men, women, old, and young."
Dong Tinghui was almost kneeling:
"Dad, start the lesson."
"A semester's worth of hot water, otherwise no deal."
Chen Pingjiang crossed his legs, smiling mischievously, then looked back at Zhao Shaoyang and the other four, who had eager faces wanting to learn: "Unrelated people, don't try to crash the class."
"Dad's hungry, I'll go get your breakfast."
Wang Lei, the most secretly flirty, rushed straight to the canteen window without a word.
"Brother Chen, I'll take care of bringing your meals for all four years of university."
Zhao Shaoyang was too shy to call him "Dad," but he pounded his chest loudly.
"I'll be in charge of shouting when skipping class."
This was Guo Dewen.
Even the innocent-looking child He Siyu frowned and thought for a long time:
"Brother Chen, leave the homework to me."
After Wang Lei brought back breakfast, Chen Pingjiang, after keeping everyone in suspense, finally said:
"You feel that there's always a layer between you and Wang Liwen. To put it bluntly, she just doesn't like you. To make a woman fall in love with you, you must first control her emotions.A simp who simps until he has nothing left only shows that his rank is too low; he's the lowest-level simp.
A high-level simp should cast a wide net and fish selectively. If your tongue is good, simp for a few more; there will always be a blind person who fancies you. If no one fancies you, it means you haven't simped enough."
Zhao Shaoyang seemed to have an epiphany, his eyes shining, nodding repeatedly, as if he had learned a true scripture.
Chen Pingjiang continued:
"Of course, if you're set on Wang Liwen, then simp even more fiercely. Simp with everything you can think of, including but not limited to treating her to meals, buying water, giving gifts. You must have a thick skin and simp her to orgasm.
However, you need to control the rhythm: simp when you want to, and once you stop, she should experience withdrawal symptoms. This strategy emphasizes groundwork, and the prerequisite is to definitely simp her well, so it will take a relatively long time."
Wang Lei and Guo Dewen's faces turned red, and they rubbed their hands excitedly, clasping them in gratitude.
A motivated student asked:
"Is there a more advanced strategy?"
"Yes,"
Chen Pingjiang nodded,
"but it's not recommended for beginners, otherwise it might backfire. The strategic outline is: the enemy advances, we retreat; the enemy stays, we harass; the enemy tires, we attack; the enemy retreats, we pursue.
Specific tactics include letting the prey go to catch it, being hot and cold, neither hot nor cold, tossing and turning, fully mobilizing the other party's negative emotions, making her crave what she can't have, and then she'll want it even more.
"It's too complicated, Dad, elaborate."
"Create a sense of mystery, generate a sense of demand, build a sense of charm. Women admire strength. Work hard to improve yourself and make her adore you. Whether it's being handsome, rich, humorous, having leadership, having your own opinions, etc., all are fine, but don't deliberately show off, otherwise that's called 'showing off'."
Chen Pingjiang talked for a long time, exhausting himself.
Seeing everyone looking thoughtful, he nodded and waved his hand:
"Class dismissed!"
Not only the people in Dorm 603, but even those at nearby tables were stunned, and some even pulled out small notebooks to take notes.
They weren't even this serious in actual classes.
"Then, excuse me, classmate, which type are you?" Someone asked.
Chen Pingjiang sneered:
"I'm usually the one being chased!"
His demeanor was both arrogant and asking for a beating.
(End of this chapter)
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