Then we headed towards our room…
but I felt lost.
Lost somewhere I never want to be again.
I don't want to hurt myself anymore.
I don't want to feel that hollow, that miserable feeling again —
the one that cannot be explained through words.
But how do I stop it?
Oh my god!!!
Main kya hi karu…
I chose to stay with Rohini.
I didn't even dare to leave her
on the most important day of her life.
Rohini pushed open the door to our room.
Three beds.
Soft lights.
A little corner made exactly for gossip and secrets.
And then my eyes landed on that picture —
"the three of us.
It forced a smile out of me
even if my heart was still trembling.
It pulled a smile out of me instantly.
For a moment,
I felt light.
I felt… happy.
Rohini told us, "Guys, fresh ho jao and come downstairs for lunch."
Shakshi nodded, but I wasn't feeling like eating anything.
So I said, "Shakshi, tu ja… par main abhi I'm not going."
Rohini looked at me with that worried expression.
you can't avoid him forever. You're gonna face Subho at some point.I know it hurts. I know you very well…
but you can't skip every function like this.
Come on, babe… I know it's super hard,
but one day you have to face it.
Facing your fears is really important."
My chest tightened.
She was right. And that made it worse.
"Rohini, you're right," I finally said,
"but I'm not ready to face him right now."
Shakshi touched my arm gently.you have to face him."
I know," I whispered,
"and I will… ek din.
But right now?
I really don't feel like eating anything.
I just need a nap.
I haven't slept properly since last night…
so please. I'll join you guys later."
My voice cracked at the end,
and both of them knew—
this wasn't about lunch.
This was about facing the one person
I had spent years trying to forget.
"Rohini… please. I'm okay. Really, I'm okay," I said, forcing a smile that didn't reach my eyes.
"Shakshi, tu ja na. Lunch karlena. Then hum baad mein bahut saari baatein karni hain, yaar—gossip, you know."
I laughed a little, but they both knew I was hiding my pain behind that stupid smile.
," Rohini said softly, "don't pretend. I know you too well."
She brushed my hair back like she always did.
"Okay… take a nap and we will be right back."
Shakshi and Rohini exchanged a look.
"Okay baby," Rohini said, squeezing my hand before leaving.
Rohini you'll never change ," Shakshi teased.
"Beharam aurat"
And Shakshi burst into laughter.
I managed a tiny smile as they left the room.
~To be continued.....