"Hey, you're Kim Chun-yong, right? Why aren't you answering? You're always such a brat."
This little kid who speaks very harshly, Kim Joo-an, was a trainee from my previous agency who was cut from the debut group before me and moved to AG.
If there's anything unusual, it's that he strangely dislikes me?
Our positions don't even overlap, and I haven't done anything to him.
The only thing we can say is that we are the same age.
"...Should you be talking like that when you're an aspiring idol?"
"-Ugh..."
When I pointed out the common sense, the innocent-looking boy shrugged his shoulders.
He was definitely a child.
His words are harsh, but it doesn't mean there's any unconditional malice, but rather it feels like the usual fights between middle and high school students?
Kim Joo-an pressed his body against mine and whined.
"Shut up. Why'd you come all the way here, you idiot? This isn't even your agency."
I rubbed my face with both hands and answered in a dejected voice.
"Hey, I also got cut from the QuinCE debut group."
"What?"
"I also got cut from the debut lineup. That's why I'm signing a preliminary contract with AG and going on a debut survival show. Got it?"
"...Don't be silly. You followed me here on purpose, didn't you? To piss me off?"
"Oh my..."
If that makes you feel better, then do whatever you want.
I ignored Kim Joo-an and went into the building first. Just like at my previous agency, Kim Joo-an followed me from behind, spouting random nonsense.
"Why are you going on a survival show? Who are you trying to upset again? Oh, it's me. We both got eliminated from the debut group anyway, so you're probably just trying to show off. Am I wrong?"
Was I ever that good in front of others around this time?
No matter how much I try to remember, I really don't remember anything like that.
"..."
"When people talk, listen to them, you son of a bitch."
It wasn't until we were both in the same elevator and there was no one around that I opened my mouth.
"You keep saying this and that to anyone. You're going to get in big trouble. Fix your attitude."
Kim Joo-an frowned as if he didn't understand what I was saying.
He doesn't know. Yeah, he doesn't know.
This happened a long time ago.
Although he looks cute and adorable, Kim Joo-an has a foul mouth and after making his debut with great difficulty, controversy over bullying erupts just as he was getting on track.
"How can I wear something like this? Are you out of your mind, noona? Anyone can tell it's ugly!"
He was left with no excuses after a video surfaced of him throwing clothes brought by a stylist and getting angry while pointing at them.
In particular, the backlash was huge because Kim Joo-an had created an image of himself as a kind and naive little prince.
I've said all I wanted to say since I've been cursed as much as I have, even though I'm known as the most malicious member of the century.
I clearly remember that at that time, all the yellow press reporters who had been chasing me flocked to Kim Joo-an.
Since then, Kim Joo-an's appearances on television noticeably decreased.
At least until I came back.
I can't say we were that close, but we practiced together and talked about how we had suffered together during the monthly evaluation.
"You're acting all know-it-all again, damn it. I really don't like that attitude of yours."
I guess it was useless.
"Oh, sure."
"Damn it, this again! Kim Chun-yong, you're a bastard with a name that's even old-fashioned-"
I ignored Kim Joo-an, who was rapping about why I didn't like him, and opened the door to the designated seminar room.
It didn't really matter whether he corrected his bad habits early on or whether he didn't and ended up ruining his entertainment career.
Anyway, Kim Joo-an.
He's not a member of Arrows like me, who debuted from 〈Targeting Star〉.
As Kim Joo-an and I entered the seminar room, several other trainees had already arrived and were sitting there.
So, I'm talking about the trainees who will be appearing on 〈Targeting Star〉 together.
Among them were my hyungs and dongsaengs who debuted with me.
I consciously tried not to notice the members as I found my seat.
I felt so guilty that I couldn't get close to them.
"Wow, hyung. Hi! How have you been? It's only been a week, right?"
Before Kim Joo-an could even find his seat, he ran over and greeted the person in the front row.
It hasn't been that long since he moved to another agency, but he's seen him so much that he calls him hyung.
But when I saw the face of the person Kim Joo-an greeted, I could immediately understand why he was acting so friendly.
"Oh, it's you..."
A gentle smile that matches his thin, flowing black hair. His features literally sparkle, making anyone who sees them turn around.
A soft gaze that drips with honey even when still. Guaranteed skill that is above average in everything.
Son Jae-ha, one of AG Entertainment's longest-serving trainees.
"Are you Chun-yong?"
"...Is that right?"
...our leader hyung.
Jae-ha hyung smiled brightly and warmly welcomed Kim Joo-an, who he had known for less than a month.
"Hello. Are you here now?"
"Yes. It's so hot outside. Wasn't it hot when you came, hyung?"
"Oh, I came early in the morning and stayed in the practice room until I came up. I didn't realize it was so hot outside. Do you want some juice?"
"Oh, is that okay?"
Kim Joo-an was on the verge of tears at Jae-ha's kindness.
Well, Jae-ha hyung was already a really nice guy, so there probably wasn't any other meaning to that favor. He just did it because he thought it might be really hot.
But Kim Joo-an says that's not the case.
"Thank you, hyung. Thanks to you, I think I'm adjusting to the agency quickly."
"Huh? Thanks to me?"
"Yes, because my hyung is so good to me...."
Look at those hateful eyes, over there.
They already know there's a camera in this seminar room and are trying t o create images.
You did it last time, and you're doing it again this time.
There aren't any cameras yet. These days, no matter how vicious the broadcasting companies are, they at least let everyone know whether or not they have cameras.
Do you turn the camera without saying anything, knowing where and what will be captured?
They installed cameras on their own later, but that's for later.
"Kim Joo-an hyung, there's no camera yet, so you don't have to act like that."
And as if voicing out my thoughts, a cold voice was heard directed at Kim Joo-an.
It was the seat right next to Jae-ha hyung.
"Huh? What did you say?"
Kim Joo-an barely managed a smile and opened his mouth in the face of the obvious attack directed at him.
The tall boy with bleached yellow hair and white skin smiled brightly and spoke again.
"You don't need to do any image-making yet. Why bother already?"
"I don't understand what you're talking about. Um. Your name is..."
"Ji Hwa-seong, it's Ji Hwa-seong. You memorized Jae-ha hyung's name so quickly, but you couldn't even remember mine?"
Ji Hwa-seong was another one of AG's long-term trainees.
"Haha, that's really funny. Why don't you recognize me? Is your memory not that great?"
And he's one of the few hellish mouths that can deal damage to Kim Joo-an.
And... the member who debuted with Arrows like me.
"Hyung, please stop drinking. It really pisses me off when I see you like that. Are you an idol or a drunkard? You stink."
While we were members together, I heard more than one or two sharp remarks.
Well, of course I could have heard more.
"Uh..."
Anyway, perhaps flustered by Ji Hwa-seong's lightning-like attack, Kim Joo-an stammered, glancing back and forth between Jae-ha hyung and Ji Hwa-seong.
"Well, we didn't really see each other much..."
"What? I was always with Jae-ha hyung whenever you saw him. Didn't you notice me? That's weird. I'm tall, so I should be noticeable."
"Oh, no... that's not it, Hwa-seong."
"Huh? Are we close? You called me Hwa-seong, right? You didn't even know my name until just now."
Even though he was a bit far away from me, I could see Kim Joo-an's fists trembling. There was something almost pitiful about that look...
I should say it was a bit absurd.
Why does that guy, who can't even say a word after getting beaten up by someone a year younger than himself, keep coming at me without fear?
"-Pfft."
Oh, that's not my laughter, but another trainee sitting in front of me.
"Kim Chun-yong, you…"
But Kim Joo-an seemed to think otherwise.
I pretended not to notice Kim Joo-an's hateful gaze. I didn't need to vent my frustrations on someone eight years younger than me, even if we're physically the same age now.
Even if it weren't for him, there would have been plenty of things to get excited about in the future.
"What, you're all friends already?"
As if it had been planned, at that very moment, someone briskly pushed open the seminar room door and came in.
Sharp, shining eyes under round glasses, square jaw.
"...ah."
I sighed softly at that familiar face.
〈Targeting Star〉's main producer, Joo Cheol-young.
The Midas touch of the idol survival world, having already succeeded with other shows like 〈Dive Little Star〉 and 〈Ready for Idol〉.
"What if you guys are having fun among yourselves? Then I won't have any fun."
...a human being without blood or tears!
My hands started shaking just thinking about the suffering I had endured because of that person.
I had to tense my thighs for fear of accidentally tripping the leg of the PD passing by.
"You have to turn on the camera and do everything, guys. You said you were going to be idols, right? That's why you're going on survival shows, right? To sell your faces."
PD Joo, completely oblivious to my turbulent state of mind, strolled leisurely across the seminar room, chuckling heartily. Behind him, the youngest writer, with dark circles under her eyes and a gloomy expression, was hurriedly following.
"Oh my, PD Joo. What are you saying to the kids...?"
Despite the youngest writer's dissuasion, PD Joo remained undaunted.
"What? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Ha-joon, the kids need to know so the show can be great. They're all about to debut, so what if they know a little?"
He handed out the paper and pens he had brought to the trainees and spoke cheerfully.
"We'll start with the ones who arrived early. Before we begin the pre-interview, you'll all sign a pledge. As you'll understand when you read it, it basically states that you'll take full responsibility for your past actions."
"You know what I mean, right? If you didn't, you wouldn't have come this far."
As Joo Cheol-young said, there was no one who didn't know what he was talking about.
A past that might be typical of a young man who is just entering society, fresh out of or still attending school. For example,
School violence.
Well, even if that's not the case, it's something that will definitely be disadvantageous when you debut.
"Some people might be offended, others might not. There might be some who think, 'Wouldn't this be a problem?' But even if that's the case? I don't care at all."
PD Joo said with a smile.
"The things you did in the past. Those things are all just ratings to me."
Yeah. That's why I had a hard time.
A person who will do anything for ratings.
It was he who also featured my malicious behavior on another entertainment news program he was in charge of.
Even the brief glare from the light was probably released with a title like 'Idol who hates fans'.
I gritted my teeth and glared at the producer, just enough to make it seem less obvious. Unaware of my gaze, he simply flicked his light-hearted snout, seemingly in a state of excitement.
"I'd be happier if someone got kicked out like that. It'd be a hot topic. I'd have to write an apology for not knowing in advance, but what's the big deal? That'd bring 10,000 more people to my broadcast."
The producer continued, brushing back the hair that had fallen in front of his forehead.
"Don't you want to be a topic of conversation by appearing on the same program as them? You'll get more viewer votes with the image of a clean, pure trainee. Let's all be happy together, that's what I'm saying."
The seminar room was as quiet as a mouse.
Words declaring that we will be used thoroughly for broadcasting.
It was harsh to hear for the young trainees who were in the flower garden of trying to debut through this survival show.
But of course, not to me. If I were to list all the malicious comments I received while being a malicious member, it would wrap around the world twice, so that's not even a bad thing.
So, it was my job to be the first to break the silence.
"Excuse me, PD-nim."
"Huh?"
When I raised my hand and spoke, the main producer raised his eyebrows as if he was surprised.
"Why? You want to quit already?"
"No, that's not it... after you finish speaking, could I do an interview right away?"
At my bold remark, PD Joo fiddled with the bridge of his glasses and made a face of bewilderment.
"...Really. You already signed? Did you even read the contents? How much is the penalty?"
I quickly cut off PD Joo.
"I don't have to read it if I've done nothing wrong."
Back then, after hearing that, I'd sat in the seminar room for a long time, wondering if I'd done something wrong. And that only ended up wasting practice time.
This time it won't happen.
Of course, you might ask, why waste time on an interview that only lasts for a minute?
"Can I do the interview first?"
Every minute and second of practice time was precious in becoming the greatest K-pop idol in history.
And that's because the PD's words were harsh. The clear fact is that if you've done nothing wrong, there's nothing to be afraid of.
My school days were clean. School, practice, home, school, practice, home. I didn't even have any friends at school.
Even if I did break routine once, it was just skipping practice and secretly going to a PC room to play games.
And all the kids here will be like that.
Because none of the kids on 〈Targeting Star〉 went home first due to school violence.
PD Joo, who was staring at me intently at my words, patted the youngest writer and said.
"Ha-joon. Send me the ones who signed the pledge in the order. And the trainee who raised his hand just now?"
The main producer's eyes sparkled.
"Okay. You'll be the first to be interviewed. Come with me."
I soon followed the main producer and moved to the office adjacent to the seminar room.
Reality only hit when I saw the cameraman standing in front of the fixed camera, the main writer, and the logo with the words "Targeting Star" written on it.
I really came back to do a debut survival show again.
I really came here to debut again as Arrows.
Leaving my feelings behind, PD Joo rubbed his hands together and checked my personal information, then snapped his fingers to get my attention.
"So... your stage name is Rex? It says Rex on your personal information. Is that correct?"
"Oh, it's Kim Chun-yong. Please use Chun-yong too."
I'm a different person from the trash I was before. So this time, I won't use a name like Rex, which doesn't suit me.
What is "Rex", really?
I'm not a damn dinosaur.
After hearing what I said, PD Joo rolled his eyes and scratched his cheek.
"..."Are you sure you want to go out with that name? Didn't you decide on this stage name after discussing with the CEO?"
"It's okay. I'll tell you later, so just do it as Chun-yong."
PD Joo, who had been making eye contact with me for a while, soon nodded.
"Well, let's do that then. Kim Chun-yong. Chun-yong. The name is old-fashioned, and big... it's unique, so it could go viral."
The main producer said, tapping the camera next to him.
"This is a one-minute pre-interview, so it won't be broadcasted. It's just a camera test. After I applaud, you can briefly introduce yourself and tell us about your aspirations for the show. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
What PD Joo said is half true and half false.
It's not just about broadcasting. This pre-interview will be uploaded to the official 〈Targeting Star〉 YouTube channel immediately after the first broadcast.
Uploaded as is, almost without any correction.
"Okay, then one, two-."
Jang!
"Hello, viewers of 〈Targeting Star〉! It's so nice to meet you. I'm Bom Chun! Yong Yong! Chun Yong, here to capture your hearts!"
I went to the salon at dawn because of this, damn PD Joo.