Kiki, Marx, and I galloped across the vast grassland for a few hours. Eventually, we came across a small village. "Ah, nice, a village! How about we make a quick stop? I'm hungry."
[No problem, your majesty. It would serve us best to preserve our energy and stay in tip-top shape just in case we run into any trouble along the way. Kiki.]
"See? You get it!" We headed towards the town. "Hey, Kiki. If we're gonna journey on together, you gonna have to stop calling me Your Majesty. I'm no king or anything, you know."
[Very well, how does Lord Renenhotep sound? Kiki.]
"That's a bit of a mouthful. How about dropping all the formalities?"
[You want me to be cordial with you? That's quite a large task you are asking of me, Milord. Kiki.]
"Dummy, you act like you weren't just calling me an ignoramus a few hours ago. Plus, I'm not asking you, it's an order."
[Very well, Lord Renenhotep.]
"Ragna. My name is Ragna Egillson."
[Very well. How does 'Renen' sound? Kiki.]
"YOU TOTALLY JUST IGNORED WHAT I SAID, DIDN'T YOU?!" I sighed. "If it makes you all the more comfortable, then go ahead. Don't expect me to respond when you call out to me though."
We made it to the town. It looked run down. As I walked down the street, the villagers hid themselves inside their house. Mothers pulled their children off the street. Many shut their windows quickly.
[Quite the warm welcome. Kiki.]
"Yeah. Doesn't seem like it has anything to do with me necessarily either." As we carried on down the muddy road of the village, I approached a decrypted old man with skin as red as a tomato, smoking a on a pipe while sitting on a rock looking after some livestock. I swear this old man was so red, it looked like he was born with a sunburn. He was so red that everyone he met probably thought he was blushing at them. He was so red that a matador could use his body as bait for a bull, and no one would bat an eye. Ironically, this old man was watching over some bulls grazing nearby. Was he dumb? How was he still alive? "Hey, geezer. Is there a restaurant around here?". He pointed backwards with his thumb.
"Corner around by the right of the road."
"Thanks!"
"Wait a minute, lad. You clearly aren't from around here, are you?"
"Nope. Just passing through."
"I wouldn't recommend that you pass through. This town has become a bandit's nest. Not even the Aglonian knights have come to this town to stop their tyranny."
"A bandit's nest, huh? Thanks for the warning, old man. I'll be careful!"
I found a saloon after following the old man's directions. There were several horses parked in front of the saloon, each tied to a post. I reached the saloon and got off Marx. As I was about to tie Marx to a post, a voice cried out to me. "Hey, you shouldn't be here! Do you want to get killed?" As I looked up to see who it was, it was an olive-skinned dude around my age dressed as a merchant. He seemed like he hailed from the continent of Mashreqdar.
"Is that a threat?"
"No! It's just that the guys in the saloon are dangerous! If you get in there, not only will they kill you, but they'll also kill me for letting you in."
"Huh? Then why would you hang around guys who would kill you for something like that?"
"Hey, I didn't choose to be here, okay? In fact, I've tried to escape countless times!"
"How'd you end up in this predicament?"
"It happened three years ago. My fellow merchants and I were travelling along the trade route from Jallab to Panncotta. We were carrying valuable goods, including textiles, spices, and precious metals. As we journeyed through the rugged terrain of Piscus, a group of bandits led by Jean-Pierre le Roux
demanded that we hand over our goods and provide them with supplies and shelter. The moment we refused; my fellow merchants were killed. Me and the few who survived were tortured for days on end. Aside from me, everyone succumbed to the torture. Jean-Pierre forced me to agree to a "protection" deal and had me transport goods that he and his gang stole and provide them with information about other merchant caravans."
"Why don't you just run away then?"
"I JUST TOLD YOU THAT I'VE TRIED TO ESCAPE COUNTLESS TIMES!" The young merchant covered his mouth instantly after yelling. "You've got to listen to me, Jean-Pierre is said to be the most notorious bandit in the South of Aglonia! He was once a knight. Someone of his calibre can't be messed with. So please, get away while you still can!" He whispered.
"I see."
"AMIR! WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING YOU SO LONG WITH THE DAMN WINE?!"
"Eek!" the merchant was frightened. "I…I'm coming!" He turned around to warn me yet again. "Please get out of here while you can!"
"AMIR!"
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" He entered the saloon carrying a large barrel of ginger flavoured wine.
[So, Renen… Are you going to skip out on this meal? Kiki?]
"Are you kidding me? No way! Besides, it's just an in-an-out type of deal. It's not like I'm gonna bother anyone." I said as I finished tying up Marx on the post. I petted Marx on the bed. "I'll be right back boy!" I entered the restaurant.
As I entered, I noticed a group of rugged men who filled the saloon. They were an assortment of all kinds of people from different backgrounds. Some from here in Septum, some from Dunya-Kelen, some from Mashreqdar. The place smelled like pig ass. There were knives and bottles lying around. The air was stuffy because the windows were sealed shut. Couple that with the awful smell, and their unsavoury hygiene practices and you've got yourself a gas explosion of shitty smells waiting to happen if some dimwit was to decide to smoke a pipe in here. This place was quite the safety hazard. They all gave me a nasty look once I entered the saloon. Looking at me like I'd just walked into church late. The merchant kid was shaking in his boots when he saw me enter the saloon. I ignored them and sat on the counter, waving my hand at the bartender. "Yo, bartender. I'd like some roasted beef, roasted pork, roasted lamb, roasted boar, Pottage, Corn bread, and 10 Fruit pies thanks!" The bartender gave me a nasty look. He came back with a bunch of raw meat and slowly threw each chunk on the counter one by one, right in front of me. "I specifically asked for the meat to be roasted, didn't I? Are you sure it's safe to eat this?". The bartender was smoking on pipe, so, he leaned point blank in front of me like he was about to kiss me and blew the smoke on my face.
Everyone in the saloon burst into laughter. "Hmm, talk about poor customer service." I said. I left a few coins on the counter, stood up, drew my normal sword from the scabbard, and sliced through one of the wooden chairs. The precision and speed of my slices set the chair on fire, ghastly flames bursting into the air. I plunged the tip of my sword into the meat so that I could cook it up like a S 'more. To save time, I plunged all the meet into the blade of my sword making a sword kebab. The bandits were definitely not fond of that.
"HEY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!! YOU WANNA KILL US?!" They all started to yell. But I wasn't paying attention, for the grumbling of my stomach flushed out all other sounds. All I could hear was 'Growl, growl, growl.'
During the entire fray, a shadowy figure called out to the Merchant. "Amir. Who allowed that punk in here?"
"S…sir, I warned him but- "
"SILENCE!" He whacked the merchant across the face with his sheathed sword. The blow sent the merchant flying and crashing into the other side of the room. This man was clearly strong if he was capable of such a crazy feat. "Oii! You! Why are you entering my saloon without paying the entrance fee?!"
"A fee? Oh, I see, you just want my meat don't ya! I'd have to refuse. Unless you want me to buy you some, then I don't mind. The tabs on me. Hey! Bartender, get my friend here some pork will ya?"
"ARE YOU INSULTING ME YOU STUPID PUNK?!! DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA WHO I AM?"
"How am I supposed to know who you are when I've never even met you in my life?"
"FOOL! I AM JEAN-PIERRE LE ROUX! THE STRONGEST AND MOST NOTORIOUS BANDIT IN THE SOUTHERN REGION OF AGLONIUS!!"
"Oh. Nice to meet you. I'm Ragna."
"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE PREDICAMENT YOU'RE IN?!"
"Dude, keep quiet, you are making me lose concentration here! Do you want me to burn my meat?!"
"YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING OPEN FLAMES IN A BUILDING LIKE THIS! LET ALONE ONE FILLED WITH ALCOHOL ALL OVER THE FLOOR YOU IDIOT! THAT IS A SAFETY HAZARD!"
"Huh? Oh, so you say. I came in assuming that this saloon was a safety hazard free for all, based on how "well" you and your men maintained the place."
"DID YOU JUST INSULT OUR HYGIENE?"
"I wasn't insulting anyone. But if you took offence to what I said, then I'm pretty sure it says more about you than it does about me."
"WHY YOU LITTLE-!! MEN! SLAUGHTER THAT PUNK!!" All his bandit henchmen started to cheer and ululate like barbarians as they were given the task of taking my head. I couldn't just leave my meat though. So, I ate the roasted beef and put all the other meat on the counter. All the bandits surrounded me. There were 30 in front of me and 60 more looking down at me from upstairs. I gave myself a challenge. The challenge: could defeat all 30 of the bandits in front of me before finishing my meal? So, the countdown began. With my normal sword, I took down the bandits left and right. There were some archers within the bandit troop that fired at me from upstairs, however, I managed to deflect the arrows with my sword. There were 10 archers in total flanking me from above. Upon deflecting the arrows, I used the Flying Dagger technique to incapacitate them. Before throwing the dagger like a boomerang, I clasped the bracelet that Bjorn gave me, the same bracelet that Kiki took refuge in, sending a message to Kiki that I need a little bit of his help. The blade was then infused with Kiki's magic to have it target the foes that I had in mind, these being the archers. To some degree, it was almost like Kiki, and I could read each other's mind due to how in-tune we were with each other during this battle. As I threw the dagger, I decided to rely on my hand-to-hand skills to beat up the bandits. In that moment, I took down ten of them.
[Renen! The blade will return in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!]
I caught the blade in my hand, then spun through the air after, delivering a backhand fist mid-spin. I took down all the remaining of the 30 bandits, just in time for me to swallow my food. Overall, I took down 10 more than I expected. I went back to grab another piece of meat off the counter. The
bartender quickly backed away, hitting the cupboard of alcoholic beverages behind him. Causing some of them to collapse. His fear of me made him careless. All that mean mugging and bravado he puffed up earlier meant zilch to me. He was probably weaker than all these bandits that I just beat up. As all the other bandits from upstairs tried to attack me, they were stopped. "HALT!!" The room was drowned in silence. All you could hear was the wind whistling in the beer bottles scattered across this pigsty of a saloon.
Jean-Pierre finally rose and emerged from the shadows. He was a tall, brunette man towering at 6.7ft. Long and lanky legs, leg torso and giant wrecking balls for arms. He unsheathed his sword and walked up towards me. I grabbed my blade again, holding the meat with my teeth. All I saw was a larger dummy to practice with.
"BRAT! YOU SHALL BE USED AS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE JEAN-PIERRE BRIGADE!!" As Jean-Pierre said that, all of his men ululated like drug induced savages again.
"Ohwight I asheff yurr fhawensh (All right. I accept your challenge.)
[Aren't you going to use the Sekhem-Ma'at? Kiki?]
"Nah, jish guy ain worff aww dah twovuh! (Nah, this guy ain't worth that trouble!)" Besides, I can't keep relying on a magical sword to grant me victory. I also see this as a chance to test my skills in an actual fight to the death. Without magic. Without cheating. The prospect of this scenario excited me too. Deep in my heart, I too wanted to ululate like a savage. This was my first real battle to the death, against an actual swordsman like me.
Our blades began to clash. We both used two handed wielding styles of combat. But the more we clashed, the more underwhelmed I became. After exchanging blades with the likes of Bjorn and Victor, this fight just felt like I was battling dummy. My preconception of this bastard was true all along. If I had fought this guy three weeks ago, surely, I would have had a challenge by now. But I had grown so many leaps and bounds above the man I was before that it felt like I was just fighting a dummy. His swings were sluggish, filled theatrics and wasted movements. I just couldn't bring myself to take him seriously. I even yawned in the middle of the fight, grabbed a lamb chop from the counter while deflecting his attacks with one hand, mimicking Victor's fighting style from my image training simulations. This must have been how bored Victor felt during our duel. Holy shit, I must've looked so pathetic in front of Roberta. How uncool! Goddamn it!
Jean-Pierre, irritated by my lack of investment, yelled. "TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY YOU STUPID PUNK!!". He unleashed a powerful downward strike, aiming to cleave me in half. I blocked it with one hand. "Okay, bored now," my expression flat and monotone. I used a diagonal slash to slice across Jean-Pierre's chest. I spun my sword around my hand like a pistol, grabbed it by the hilt when it faced forward, and struck him on the stomach with the back of the hilt. I sent him flying outside of the saloon, crashing through the swing doors into the building across the street.
All the bandits stared at me as if I were a circus act and murmured amongst themselves. "AAARGH!!!" Jean-Pierre shrugged all the rubble on top of him like it was nothing. He was covered from head to toe in his own blood. He ran towards the entrance of the saloon. Once he got there, he told the Merchant to go get his gun since he was the closest member of the brigade to the personal belongings downstairs. "AMIR! GET MY PISTOL, NOW!!"
"Y…Yes, sir!" the merchant responded, running across the room to rummage through the loot bags on the table. He pulled out a Colt Revolver. "NOW, HAND IT OVER TO ME!" Screamed Jean-Pierre.
"Yes sir!" yelled the merchant. The merchant ran towards the Bandit leader but stopped in his tracks midway. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? HAND OVER THE GUN!" yelled Jean-Pierre. The merchant stood frozen, staring at the gun in his hands. "HURRY THE FUCK UP, AMIR!! BRING ME THE FUCKING GUN!!"
"No." the merchant said, looking up. "I'm done listening to you! I'm done being your lapdog Jean-Pierre! I just wanna go home! I wanna be free!"
Freedom huh? He'd been held captive against his will, after all. I can only imagine how his family and friends at home must feel having their loved one missing for over three years. It must have been really hard for him too. In many ways, standing up for himself like this must be far more gratifying than just escaping. I'm glad he got this opportunity. Looking at that timid young man who knows nothing of the thrill of battle standing up to himself in such a manner just made me break out in a smile. I don't know whether this was an inappropriate time to smile or not, but I just couldn't help it.
Jean-Pierre was furious at the sight of a weakling standing up to him. Even the other bandits were afraid. It seemed like there would be some very severe consequences for those that dare to rebel against Jean-Pierre. Just as Jean-Pierre was about to attack the merchant, the trigger was pulled. The bullet pierced right through Jean-Pierre's skull. Thud! Jean-Pierre's corpse fell flat on the floor. There was a small moment of silence, followed by a tumbleweed passing by like a bystander who didn't want to get involved. The remaining bandits got riled up and tried to attack the merchant. I dashed in front of the merchant before they could even lay a finger on him. I swung my blade, which created a blade of air which sliced up twenty of the fifty bandits, causing the remaining number to stop in their tracks. The room fell back into a suffocating silence.
"Come, I dare you to try laying a hand on the merchant again. Just know that you'll regret it if you do." These words struck fear into the hearts of the bandits. Upon hearing my threat, each and every one of them ran out of the saloon, some using the front door and some breaking through the sealed-up windows. It was such a hilarious sight. I couldn't help but laugh at them.
"Hey, merchant dude. You really put up a great fight. I'm happy for you. Now you can finally go home!" I said as I went back to the counter to finish my food.
"Oh no, it's all thanks to you. If you didn't come, I would have remained a servant to them for the rest of my life."
"Hey now, that's not true and you know it! Do you know how dangerous it is to be a merchant? You gotta traverse all types of unknown lands. You never know when you could run into bastards like these guys!" I said while kicking one of the corpses on the floor. "You've basically been facing death from the day you decided to become a merchant! So, I think you would have stood up to that Jean-Pierre guy eventually. I can see it in your eyes."
"Y…you think so?"
"Yeah, of course."
"B…by the way. What's your name?"
"I'm Ragna Egillson! But you can just call me Ragna!"
[Or Renenhotep.]
"Shut it you!" I punched the bracelet on my neck.
"I'm truly indebted to you, Sir Ragna."
"Just Ragna is fine."
"Uh… very well. I'm truly indebted to you, Ragna."
"Hey now, it's no big deal! Who are you anyway?"
"My name is Amir Ibn Khalil! It's a pleasure to meet you!"
"Amir huh? Nice to meet ya too! You look like you haven't chowed on a thing for days! Want some meat?"
"I…no, I couldn't possibly…"
"Hey, it's no big deal! C'mon, eat up!"
As we shared a meal together, Amir asked me a question. "So, where are you headed right now? Are you an explorer or something? You surely don't seem like a merchant or anything."
"Well, you could say that. I'm on an adventure to find the second half of my sword to kill some demons or something."
"Hah! That sounds like something out of a fairytale. Alright, c'mon, tell me the truth."
"Hm? But I am telling the truth."
"No way. You said you're looking for the other half of your sword, yet you were using your sword just now and it was in tip top shape."
"Oh nah, I ain't talking about this sword. I'm talking about this one!" As I clasped my bracelet I yelled, "C'mon out Kiki!" Kiki burst out as a blue light and materialised into our reality in his normal form. "Kikiki~! I'm here!"
Amir was flabbergasted and fell on his backside upon being faced with the sudden appearance of Kiki. "Whoa!! What is that?! Is that a demon?!"
"Hey, I'm not a demon! I'm an Aziza! An Aziza! Get that right, jerk! Kiki!"
"Hey, Kiki, do you mind turning into the Circumette? I wanna show Amir what I'm talking about.
"Grr, seriously, Renen… how many more times are you gonna say the name wrong? It's Sekhem-Ma'at!! Sekhem-Ma'at!! Get it right next time! Kiki!"
"…" I didn't respond.
"ARE YOU IGNORING ME? KIKI!!"
"I told you, I'm not obligated to respond if you called me Remenova, remember?"
"Jeez, you can't even pronounce your own name either? YOUR NAME IS RENEN…SHORT FOR RENENHOTEP, NOT RAMONA!! KIKI~!"
"You clearly heard me say Remenova, didn't you? I have no idea where you heard Ramona from?"
"YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE REMENOVA IS CORRECT!! I SHOULD BE THE ONE COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU CALLING THE SEKHEM-MA'AT A FRIGGING "CIRCUMETTE"! WHERE DID YOU EVEN HEAR THAT?! HOW DID YOU EVEN COME UP WITH THAT?! KIKI!!"
"But I've been saying it the same way as you do!"
"Is that so? Kiki."
"Yeah!"
"Okay, say it then. Kiki."
"Circume- "
"NOT EVEN CLOSE! KIKI! NOT EVEN CLOSE! IT'S SEKHEM-MA'AT!! SEKHEM-MA'AT!! KIKI!! HOW HARD IS IT TO SAY?!! HOW?! KIKI!"
"Sikhum-Mette?"
"SE…KHEM…MA…AT!! SEKHEM MA'AT KIKI!!" yelled Kiki as he jumped up and down in frustration.
"Sekhem-Ma'at…Kiki."
"NOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET ON MY NERVES, AREN'T YOU?! KIKI!!" yelled Kiki as he clenched his fingerless fist as me.
"Alright! Now that you're here, let's show Amir the Sekhem-My'Hut."
Kiki sighed in frustration and rolled his eyes. "This is gonna be a long journey, isn't it? Kiki."
"Yep." I responded. Kiki transformed into the hilt of the Sekhem-My-Hut. I grabbed the incomplete blade and pointed it towards the sky. "Now Amir. This is the sword I was talking about. Pretty neat huh?"
"Whaxskcnjde vh." Clearly, Amir was incapable of words at the sight he just beheld. Either that or he was speaking in tongues.
[Renen. I think we're gonna have to fill this guy in, huh? Kiki.]
"…" I absentmindedly picked my nose, pretending I didn't hear him.
[ I think I'm starting to hate you. Kiki.]
So, we filled Amir in on everything. "You know Ragna. After everything I've just seen, I'm gonna have to believe everything you just told me."
"Yep."
"I'm not all too certain about going through the Trench of Doom though. As strong as you are, there's only so much that you can handle."
"Meh! I'll find a way somehow."
"Hmph. Very well. I would like to join you on your quest my friend. I owe you my life afterall. I'll use the wealth the bandit gained through the exploitation of my labour and my expertise as a merchant to make the journey easier for you. Be it fees for an inn, food fees, travel fees, I've got it handled! Plus, I served as a bard for the bandits, so that ups my repertoire! What's a long perilous journey without some accompanying music?!"
"Hahahaha!! Alright! I like the sound of that! Hey, how about a toast for our new friendship?!" I jumped over the counter and took some glasses and a bottle of milk. "I don't drink alcohol so; I hope this won't be much of a bother for you Amir!"
"Oh no, I don't mind. It's the sentiment that matters."
"Cool stuff!" I poured the milk in the two glasses and lifted the cup in the air. "To new friendships and new horizons!!" Amir did the same too. "To new friendships and new horizons!!" We both tapped our cups together. "CHEERS!!"
While we were taking a sip from our glasses of brotherhood, a gigantic menacing figure loomed over us like a bear about to catch its prey. It was Jean-Pierre once again!! He was drenched in blood from his forehead!
"HAHAHAHA!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET RID OF ME AMIR?!! I'VE SLAIN MANY A MERCHANT, WOMAN AND CHILD!! I'VE MADE ENEMIES ALL THROUGHT ALGONIUS AND BEYOND!! I'VE ENCOUNTERED DEATH MORE TIMES THAN I COULD COUNT!! BOTH HERE IN THE CRIMINAL UNDERWORLD AND ON THE BATTLEFIELDS OF AGLONIAN MILITARY CAMPAIGNS!! I'VE SEEN IT ALL!! I KNOW IT ALL! I'M THE SHIT!! I'M THE BEST!! I'M THE DEADLIEST BANDIT IN THE SOUTH OF AGLONIUS!! I'M A BEAST!! I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN YOU FOOL! THAT'S WHY I LOBOTOMISED MY FRONTAL LOBE AND PIERCED A HOLE IN MY BRAIN AT THE EXACT SAME SPOT THAT YOU SHOT ME, BECAUSE I KNEW!! I KNEW BABY~!! I KNEW THAT SOMEWAY, SOMEHOW, SOMETIME THAT SOMEONE WOULD SHOOT ME AT THAT EXACT SPOT!! THUS, THE BULLET DIDN'T PIERCE ME!! INSTEAD, IT PENETRATED MY HOLE, LEAVING NO DAMAGE!! HAHAHAHAAHA!! I'M UNPREDICTABLE!! DON'T MESS WITH THE JEAN-PIER- "
"STAY DEAD ALREADY!!" Amir and I punched Jean-Pierre straight through the roof of the saloon. We watched him fly all the way to the sky. He even pierced through the cloud. The only remainder of him left was a star-like twinkle in the sky. Amir must have been really irritated with that loser to get the sudden burst of strength needed to punch him that far along with me.
"That, was the so called "most notorious" bandit in the south of Aglonius? Geez, talk about a big fish in a small pond." I said mockingly.
"You don't say~," Amir, responded.
"Hey, wanna redo the ceremony? That jerk interrupted us."
"Yeah, why not!" Amir said laughing. I jumped over the counter again to pour us another glass of milk.
"YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!" The bartender sneaked up behind me with a bottle.
"Ragna, watch out!"
"Oh, for goodness' sake!" I exclaimed in frustration as the bartender swung at me with a bottle. I swayed to the side and punched him across the jaw. His jaw spun around like a pinwheel before he collapsed to the floor.
"Sigh… To new horizons and new-"
"Uh, yeah Ragna, I don't think I'm comfortable doing a toast in here anymore." We both glanced around the saloon, wary of all the 'corpses' on the floor.
"Yeah, let's just go outside."