On her way back to the Slytherin dungeons, Alice made a quick detour to the Gryffindor common room.
Pretty much everyone at Hogwarts knew who Alice was by now. Half the school had a betting pool on how long she'd last in Slytherin before she begged to transfer out or just straight-up quit Hogwarts.
So when Alice Norton showed up at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, every head in the corridor snapped around.
- Slytherin planning a raid?
- Or was she finally coming over to the right house?
(The second one felt unlikely; nobody could remember Hogwarts ever letting someone switch houses.)
The Fat Lady in the portrait looked down at the little snake in green-trimmed robes and asked, "Password?"
Alice gave her a sheepish smile. "Yeah, I definitely don't have that."
"Well, I'm not opening the door for someone who doesn't know it," the Fat Lady huffed, clearly clocking the Slytherin tie.
"I'm not trying to get in. I just need to stand here for a minute. That okay?" Alice asked. Then, sweetly, "By the way—what should I call you?"
Nobody ever asked the Fat Lady her name. Her eyes lit up like Christmas had come early. She straightened up, striking a dramatic pose. "I am Helga!"
"Helga? Like… opera singer Helga?" Alice guessed.
The portrait practically glowed. "You recognized my voice?!"
"It's gorgeous," Alice said honestly.
"Oh, you sweet little serpent! I simply must sing for you!" And before Alice could stop her, Helga launched into a full aria.
Alice's polite smile froze solid about three notes in.
How could someone with that beautiful a voice be so completely tone-deaf?
Thank every star in the sky, a Gryffindor finally showed up: Dean Thomas, the West Ham fan who'd argued with Ron about soccer.
"Mr. Thomas," Alice greeted.
Dean's eyes went wide and he practically bounced. "Alice Norton! You were unreal today! The whole common room's talking about you. We all think you should've been a Gryffindor!"
"That's really nice of you guys, thanks. Can we talk over here, though?" Alice nodded toward a spot far away from the still-singing portrait.
Dean got the hint instantly and followed her. He felt a little embarrassed on behalf of his House's door guardian.
"Why'd she start singing all of a sudden?" he asked.
Alice scratched her nose awkwardly. "I… might've complimented Helga's voice."
"Helga?"
"The lady you guys call the Fat Lady."
"Ohhh. I never knew her real name," Dean admitted. Then, curious, "What are you doing here? Need Hermione? I can go grab her."
"Nah, I'm just returning Neville's Remembrall. Draco picked it up earlier and asked me to give it back to you guys."
Dean stared at the little glass ball in her hand like it might explode. "Wait. A Slytherin did something nice?"
He realized how that sounded and backpedaled fast. "Not you! I meant Malfoy and his crew!"
"It's cool, I get it." Alice handed over the Remembrall. "Here you go. My job's done—see ya."
She gave him a quick wave and walked off like it was no big deal.
Dean watched her go, then turned back to the portrait (Helga was still belting it out). He rattled off the password super fast. The Fat Lady stopped mid-note, looking annoyed at being interrupted, and swung open.
"That polite little girl coming back anytime soon?" she asked hopefully.
"No clue, Helga," Dean said, shaking his head. A polite Slytherin. Weird combo.
Word in the Gryffindor upper years was that the Sorting Hat must be going senile to put someone that brave, smart, tough, and quick-witted in Slytherin. After Alice saved Neville that afternoon, a bunch of younger Gryffindors were starting to rethink their blanket hatred of snakes. The older lions thought that was nuts, but they were definitely curious about the kid now.
Dean slipped inside the common room and spotted Hermione and the gang circled up around Lee Jordan, who was clearly in full storyteller mode.
Dean handed Neville the Remembrall. Neville's face lit up like he'd won the lottery. "Where'd you find it? I thought I lost it for good!"
"Norton brought it back. Said Malfoy found it and told her to return it."
"Alice Norton? Draco Malfoy?" Neville's jaw dropped.
Dean just nodded and slid into the circle. "What's going on?"
Ron filled him in. "Lee got the full scoop on what went down in Slytherin last night. He's telling the epic saga of Alice."
Pretty much every Gryffindor in the year was crammed around the fireplace. Lee Jordan's storytelling skills were already legendary.
"So last night," Lee began dramatically, "Alice Norton, this poor girl the blind Sorting Hat dumped into the wrong house…"
One sentence in and he already had half the girls tearing up, picturing a tiny, bullied kid just trying to survive.
"Then, when she finally stood up for herself, every single Slytherin in the common room raised their wands. They were ready to gang up and take her out, that bright, beautiful, brilliant little witch."
Hermione's eyes were red. Parvati had an arm around her; she knew how much Hermione liked Alice.
"But Alice? She threw up a perfect Protego, danced through the spells like it was nothing, and closed in on Pansy Parkinson…"
"…One flick of the wrist, Expelliarmus, Parkinson's wand flying into Alice's hand. Then bam, Alice had that wand pointed at Parkinson's throat like a sword!"
Hermione pumped her fist. "I knew she could do it!"
"Then some cowardly slug blindsided her with a Jelly-Legs Jinx…"
The entire common room erupted.
"Scum!"
"Disgusting!"
"Typical slimy Slytherin move!"
Harry clenched his fists, torn between being totally impressed by Alice's skill and grossed out by the cheap shot. Hermione just looked relieved that Alice had carved out a little corner of safety through sheer grit.
Only Neville leaned over to Ron and whispered, "You think Alice would teach me sword fighting?"
Ron's eyes bugged out. A piece of candy fell straight out of his open mouth. "Mate. You're serious right now?"
He was starting to think ever since Alice showed up, Harry and company had forgotten how normal wizards were supposed to act.
Finally Lee wrapped it up with the professors swooping in to save the day. Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief.
"You wanna know what Alice Norton said to Parkinson and the whole Slytherin house?" Lee teased.
He waited until the entire common room was glaring at him before dropping the mic:
"She told Parkinson, 'You guys worship power, but right now you don't have any.'
Then she looked at all of them and said, 'Real honor comes from conviction, not some stupid bloodline. Slytherin should be about strength, not empty pure-blood nonsense!'"
The older Gryffindors actually cheered. "Beautiful comeback!"
Harry leaned over to Ron and muttered, "Gotta be honest—if Slytherin actually turned into that, I wouldn't hate them at all."