The leather flap of the healing hut rustled, and a familiar scent swept in before my father did.
My nose twitched just a bit, as if telling me beforehand of his presence.
The chief ducked inside, his broad shoulders filling the cramped space. His concerned eyes went straight to me but then he caught the mud smeared on my face, then down to the muddy smears on my arms, and then my legs.
I was filthy.
Don't even remind me. I'll ask about where to take a bath soon, but let's focus on what's going on right now.
I felt a silent rage build up in his eyes as he stared at my state.
"Father?"
But he did not show it. He didn't let his emotions take control of him.
He masked it just as quickly, straightening his back.
The healer barely looked up.
She was an elderly woman who was dedicating her entire life to the health of the tribe.
Her wrinkles seemed carved deeper into her skin than normal, making me wonder if she was over a hundred years old yet.
She had a wolf pelt hanging heavy over her thin shoulders as she ground herbs with steady hands— a strange green mixture that probably has no name, was already cooling on my ankle, its sharp scent clogging the air.
It somehow felt like mint but I couldn't be sure.
Father cleared his throat.
"Arinya," he said with a controlled voice that seemed too calm. "How are you feeling?"
I forced a small smile.
"I'm fine. Truly. The males must've exaggerated it seeing how you rushed her right away." I sat up a little straighter on the rock I was sitting on, lifting my chin. "I got a strong body from you, Father. I'll be fine in no time."
My words had a sudden impact on my father. He wanted to say something but didn't have the chance to.
The healer snorted softly under her breath, but neither of us acknowledged her. It's more like she was doing her job and we were disturbing her.
Rakan stepped closer, studying my face with a heaviness that made my throat tighten.
If he looks at me like that, it'll make me feel like I'm the one doing something wrong.
His look of sympathy after years of ignorance... I didn't like it.
"And how long," he asked quietly, "...has this been happening?"
The breath caught in my chest. It was that feeling again. Arinya's feeling taking control as things she wished would've happened while she was still alive was happening after she was gone.
I looked down at my hands, muddy fingers curling into my palms and my heart throbbing.
This was probably my chance to spill out everything. Tell him how much Arinya suffered, how much the females always put her in trouble... But the truth that hovered on my tongue was just too heavy, too shameful, tangled with memories I didn't want to touch.
"I… would rather not say," I whispered. "Because… I don't remember when it started."
The silence that followed was thicker than the scent of herbs in the healer's hut.
I couldn't even look my father in the eye, I just lowered my head and waited for what he was going to say. But he did not say anything to me, as if he respected my choice not to say.
Father tore his gaze from me and turned to the healer.
"How is her leg?"
The old woman dabbed one last smear of the cooling paste onto my ankle and said, "She'll be fine." Her voice was gravelly but certain. "A few hours to a day and she'll be walking as she always does. No need for too much worry, Chief."
I could almost feel Father exhale but I still didn't lift my head.
He suddenly placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezed once—gentle and warm—then let go before leaving the hut.
He said no more words and I think I consider that a relief.
Talk about family drama. I might be good at acting but with Arinya's feelings causing me to hesitate and feel pain, it's getting harder.
Through the thin hide walls, I heard his voice rumble outside along with the males who had still been waiting. Seriously, why were they still waiting?
"You all did well. Very well. I'll see to it you receive some meat from my stores."
A chorus of surprised gasps followed from the males, and they bowed respectfully, continuously as if trying to feed him praises, but it wasn't his praises they wanted to feed him... but mine.
"We didn't do it for a reward," one of the males said quickly, and even if I couldn't see his face, I could tell he was blushing. "We did it for Arinya!"
The heck! Don't tell me...
Another chimed in, louder, "Yes! Only for her!"
Their eagerness pressed against the walls like heat and it annoyed me.
I didn't need to see them to feel the shift in their personality and perception of me— hopeful and foolish.
I could already tell they'd try even harder now… trying to please me, trying to stand out, trying to prove themselves worthy of becoming my spouse... After never even looking my way for so many years.
The very thought made my head throb. They were unbelievable.
Now I get why my father kept emphasizing that I stop acting like a male and become a gentle goddess. It's because males hate the fact that their female acted like a man, superior or equal, and wanted to be on top.
That's some messed-up shit if you ask me.
Males on top and females below.
It's not like they're hot or good-looking, and yet they demand so much.
Sure, the one who had carried me in his arms wasn't half bad-looking. He had broad shoulders, and kind eyes, but it wasn't enough to make me drool.
My standards were—well—higher. Too high for me to pretend I could ever be content with someone simply because he was 'decent.'
No offense, but if they're not on par with Damar or higher, then I don't want em.
They were all barking up the wrong tree.
I shifted, turning back toward the healer.
"Do you know who the architect in our village is?"
She blinked at me, clearly confused as she tried to repeat my words.
"The… ark-tek?"