Humans are animals of oblivion. It's a commonly told story. That human memory has limits, and the brain adjusts those limits on its own, distinguishing between important and useless memories. But ultimately, even what was thought important loses value over time and is forgotten.
Some call oblivion a blessing.
The basis was that when you lose someone you love, being unable to forget that emotion is no different from a curse. How many people do you send off, accept, and live with in a lifetime? Living while remembering all of them is a punishment from God. So they say.
Some call oblivion a curse.
The basis was that when you lose a loved one, you can no longer cry for them. As time passes, you forget the face of the deceased, the memories of laughing, crying, and getting angry with them, until only emptiness remains—that can never be called a blessing. So they say.
For Mika, oblivion was a curse.
She didn't want to forget. The first meeting with him, the first exchange of greetings, his name, his face, his scent.
Everything.
She didn't want to forget. So she imprisoned herself in the past. Like a bird that cannot fly freely, she buried her body in a cage and thoroughly shattered her mind so no one could open it. Fearing oblivion, she instead forgot oblivion itself.
When she closes her eyes, it rises. When she opens them, she sees it. Even if it is a doll containing no vitality whatsoever. It was her most precious treasure, a bridge connecting the past, present, and future she shared with 'him'.
But then.
"I asked where you got it."
A monstrosity that crumbled her past and forcibly dragged her mind to the present appeared. Mika glared at Misaki with an expression colder than ice. If a gaze could kill, Misaki would have died dozens, hundreds of times from that sharp stare. Misaki couldn't utter a word, trembling under the intangible murderous intent.
She didn't understand the current situation itself. What did I do wrong to get picked on by this crazy bitch? Was it so displeasing that I briefly went out to buy gifts for the executive and Saori? Misaki twisted the corner of her mouth and barely squeezed out a voice. U21nUVJBTjFlUlpoZWdhS1l5Q1pTVEhQWVdkajhpWjhXblhlSlpueWt3MXg0MWdONXl5UHBwTkdZYVlNNHRKdg
"...What's it to you?"
"...Ahaha."
Mika smiled beautifully. *Crunch*, the doll she was hugging crumpled.
"You."
"..."
"Are insane."
The expression vanished from Mika's face. The intangible pressure intensified further. As if only two people remained in the world, the surrounding noise cleanly disappeared. Mika's presence dominated the space to the point of causing such an illusion. Misaki's breathing became erratic, and Mika grabbed her by the collar. The black doll powerlessly fell to the floor.
"My patience isn't that great. Answer before I rip your mouth apart."
"..."
"This outfit. I asked where you got it."
"...I found it."
"...I gave you a chance."
The hand gripping the collar moved roughly. Grabbing Misaki's neck like that, she let out a rough breath. Moans mixed in between intermittently cut-off breaths, and strength increased in Mika's grip on Misaki's neck. Mika looked down at Misaki with inorganic eyes and slightly leaned forward. The distance between Misaki and Mika's gazes narrowed to about a palm's length.
"What do you think would happen if I grabbed your neck here and twisted it?"
"*Cough*, *keh*, *kuek*..."
"Shall we test it? Huh? Ahaha, so you should have answered when I asked nicely. Why lie so arrogantly? I didn't want to do this either. Yeah, I'm not bad. It's you, you who didn't answer that caused this."
"...You... cra, zy... bitch..."
"Shut up. Only one person can say that to me."
*Crack*.
The strength in Mika's grip gradually increased. Handprints appeared on Misaki's neck, and her airway began to close.
Even the intermittent breaths became impossible. Misaki contorted her face and swung both arms to shake off Mika's hand, but Mika didn't budge. Rather, as if finding it pitiful, she added more strength to her grip.
Misaki's face turned bright red. She glared at Mika as if to kill her and fumbled to take out the dagger she had in her pocket. The moment Mika noticed that movement and showed a ferocious smile.
"Ugh."
Mika's body lurched greatly from a sudden, enormous impact. Because of that, the strength in the hand gripping Misaki's neck loosened. But there was no leisure to grab Misaki again. Mika hardened her eyes murderously and sharply turned her head toward the source of the impact.
Thus their eyes met. Or so it seemed.
Where Mika's gaze was directed, a suspicious figure wearing a black mask stood. It was a figure that evoked instinctive displeasure. Mika let out a hollow laugh, then aimed her firearm at the suspicious figure. An incomprehensible mystery condensed at the muzzle's end.
Just before pulling the trigger.
"...?"
Mika felt a strange emotion while looking at the suspicious figure.
The whirlwind of emotions—sadness and joy, familiarity, love—all mixed together was so messed up that recognizing what it even was became impossible. She contorted her pretty face and, instead of pulling the trigger, glared at the suspicious figure.
"You, what are you."
"..."
"I said what are you. Answer."
"..."
Kenji didn't answer. Precisely, he couldn't. The words circling his lips scattered without forming sentences, and his pupils shook with shock and disbelief. He just, just stared at Mika with a contorted expression. The broken appearance of a bond once more precious than anything—no, still the same now—brought extreme shock in itself.
"..."
He barely opened his mouth, but no voice came out. His vocal cords lost their function, and his lungs couldn't maintain steady breathing.
His fingertips trembled violently. His head hurt as if being stabbed with a sharp awl. It felt like all the bones in his body were breaking and repairing repeatedly. Just standing itself was difficult. His body began to twist on its own, to the point he would collapse if he didn't concentrate.
"Answer... I said."
Unlike Kenji, who couldn't even make a voice, Mika forced out a sentence by squeezing her throat. It was closer to a plea than a 'sentence', identical to a death rattle muttered just before dying. Why, why am I suddenly acting like this? Though疑問 arose, her head, where countless emotions swirled, couldn't produce a proper answer.
But emotions exceeding limits leaked out and transformed into tears. Mika, conscious of the tears flowing from her left eye, let out a foolish sound. In that gap. A tiny gap. Kenji gritted his teeth and utilized fear.
White Lotus Demon Art, Demonic Heaven Creation.
*Boom!*
With a tremendous noise, the sky turned black. Below, residents of the land who lost the sun's protection gasped for breath and clutched their chests. Breathing became difficult, and limbs twitched on their own as if nerves had been severed.
Misaki was the same. Forgetting even her resentment toward Mika, she lay face down on the floor, gasping for breath like mad. In contrast, Mika resisted. Though breathing was difficult and limbs convulsed the same, it wasn't to the point of being unable to move. She bit down hard enough to shatter her molars and took a step toward Kenji.
"...Your voice."
"..."
"If answering is hard, then at least give me your voice."
"..."
"Please, please...! It's not a difficult request, is it? Huh? Just once. Even a single phrase, please!"
It was a cry close to a scream.
The whirlwind of emotions felt upon meeting him. The flowing tears. The uncontrollable heartbeats. All of that pointed to one fact. But certainty was difficult. His face and voice weren't even confirmed, and his physique was different—how could she be sure? The only thing matching was the faintly wafting body scent. Even that was mixed with various scents, making proper judgment impossible.
But the more she continued thinking, the thicker the suspicion became, only one word circled in her head.
Could it be.
Could it be, could it be. It can't be. Kenji is fragile. He can't use such strange techniques. And he doesn't emanate such ominous energy.
But what if, what if it really is Kenji? Could it be, could it be? No, right? It can't be. But what if it is? If that... is Kenji?
The destination of the chain of疑问, one after another, was ultimately another question. Mika, painting her face with tears, took another step forward.
"Say something! Tell me you're not, tell me you're not the person I'm thinking of!"
Kenji couldn't answer. Instead, he tightly closed his eyes.
Making a voice, as Mika said, wasn't that difficult a request. But the problem was that when she learned his identity from that, what action Mika would take was all too predictable.
She would undoubtedly come. Even if it meant destroying everything, even if the result led to catastrophe. Even if it meant her own body breaking. She would never stop. Would others be any different?
This wasn't suspicion. Nor prediction, nor expectation.
It was simply conviction.
For Kenji, it was a conclusion he absolutely had to prevent. These are people he tried to protect even by discarding what was most precious. Them pouring blood and bone for his sake was an outcome he never wanted.
He recalled the words spoken by the 'me' he met inside the fear. When he said he would go with Gematria, that guy definitely uttered words implying things had twisted from there. What that meant wasn't hard to guess.
Surely it meant that if he hadn't gone to Gematria, everything would have ended. The end of everything. The meaning contained in those words, presumably, would absolutely not be a light meaning of 'end'. If it were, there would have been no reason for that guy's arm to be missing, no reason to say he had lost everything.
Suspicion breeds suspicion. Revenge breeds revenge. Likewise, distrust breeds distrust. Kenji harbored all that, and also reconsidered it.
'Suspicion.'
He doesn't trust Gematria. He endlessly suspects, and until the moment he leaves this place, that suspicion will never lift.
'Revenge.'
Hatred toward Beatrice still burns. To leave no future troubles, and for perfect revenge, he had to kill Beatrice before meeting those children.
'Distrust.'
He can't trust himself. He can't trust Gematria. He can't trust Beatrice. All that caused distrust. When one thing was resolved, another wall appeared, making him suspect that ultimately he would lose everything.
Thus.
There was only one right judgment he could make.
He knows. He knows very well how cruel a method it is, how selfish a judgment it is. But what can he do when no other method comes to mind? Even racking his brains until they split, even worrying alone for a whole week, the conclusion that came out was always the same.
'I'm sorry.'
Kenji spat that internally and carefully picked up Misaki, who was lying face down on the floor. At that sight, Mika had an even more violent fit. She desperately moved forward, stretching out her hand as if to grab Kenji. But Kenji disappeared faster than that. Without even looking back, he began to exit the department store.
"Don't go! *Sob*, don't go!"
He ignored the voice that reached him. The bitten molar dug into the gum, and blood seeped out. Anyway, once this sky cleared, he would vomit blood as the price for forcibly executing the technique. So he could endure minor bleeding.
Kenji kept moving. He moved outside the influence of the Demonic Heaven, kept moving until Misaki regained consciousness. Only after arriving at ruins that made the word Trinity seem colorless did he stop his steps.
Like rainwater washing a window, the mask covering his face melted away. The expression revealed was so wretched that Misaki couldn't help but open her mouth before even tending to herself.
"...Are you okay?"
"...Worry about yourself. Is your neck okay? Can you breathe?"
"...I'm fine. But..."
Misaki trailed off. Then, in a tiny voice, she spat out.
"...It's okay to cry sometimes."
"I won't cry."
Kenji spat that out, then vomited a mouthful of blood and twisted the corner of his mouth.
His face was so wretched it was impossible to tell if he was crying or laughing.
"I'm fine."
*Plop*, a droplet of liquid fell along his chin. Kenji tightly closed his eyes, trying not to see the color of that liquid.
"Everything... will be fine."
The final mutter was a plea close to self-hypnosis.