Chapter 20: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, AcceptanceNotes:Alright, alright. I'll be nice and keep updating. But I won't be that nice. I am still making people suffer. Also, we have some trigger warnings this chapter so read carefully and protect your mental health.
Trigger Warnings: Death, discussions of death, references to child abuse, depression, panic attacks, self-harm, descriptions of gore, implied and attempted child grooming, and brief mentions of sexual harassment and non-consensual touching
I believe I've got the bulk of them.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter TextMIA
Missing in action.
Missing.
In.
Action.
No.
It couldn't be.
Rex couldn't be MIA. He…
He wouldn't.
He couldn't.
This had to be a trick.
Rex couldn't be MIA.
MIA.
Those three letters burned their way into Cody's mind.
MIA.
Imprinted on the backs of his eyelids so that every time he closed his eyes, he could see them.
MIA.
Echoed in his ears.
MIA.
Slipped into his every thought.
MIA.
Never leaving him alone for a second.
MIA.
That was all he could think about. It filled his every thought, his every waking moment.
Fox had sent him a message on the unregulated datapads.
He only said one thing. "I am so sorry."
Cody hadn't had time to read it until much later. Dooku had shown up at their last engagement and was obsessed with getting Obi-Wan to join him, like usual. They had managed to regain control of the planet and scare Dooku off, like usual. Cody had found Obi-Wan's lightsaber and cloak in a bush and handed it back to the man with a sarcastic quip, like usual.
Everything was normal.
Everything was fine.
He hadn't even realized his world was about to shatter.
Shouldn't there have been some indication? Some feeling? Something to point to the tragedy he was about to endure?
Back on The Negotiator, he had gotten distracted once again with paperwork. Then he got distracted by checking in on everyone and seeing how they were holding up. Just because the battle was a victory didn't mean it was easy. The shinies especially needed support as no amount of Kaminoan training or Alpha-17 threats could truly prepare them for the horrors of war.
He hadn't seen Fox's message until nearly twenty hours after it had been sent.
And then he had seen it.
And then the report came in.
And then Cody had gone to the nearest toilet and vomited his guts out.
MIA.
Rex was MIA. As were Echo, Fives, Hardcase, Tup, and Kix.
It couldn't be.
It could not be possible. Rex was too good to go MIA. This had to be a trick. A trap. Maybe he had discovered something and had gone AWOL to try and get more information. That had to be it! That had to be!
Fox called him later and explained that Tarkin had been the one to send the mission out and that he had only given Rex fifteen minutes. Fox tried to get there in time, but he didn't make it. He was sorry. He was so, so sorry.
Obi-Wan had read the reports too, the official ones at least, and immediately started sending out search parties for Rex.
"Is this really necessary?" Palpatine asked with narrowed eyes. "It seems like a waste of resources."
Cody had never wanted to strangle that man more. He bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood. But he showed no emotion. No flickers of annoyance. No outward distrust. Just a soldier, following orders, not questioning his superiors.
"Chancellor, those men were on a top-secret mission. If any Separatists got ahold of them, who knows what information they can drag from them," Obi-Wan replied. He was annoyed too, Cody could tell. But he was doing his best to hide it.
"Are you saying your clones would break under torture?"
Cody felt sick again. Skywalker was in on the call (whoever thought that was a good idea was a fucking idiot) and something in the man had snapped. Snapped so hard it caused Ahsoka (little Ahsoka, looking so sad and vulnerable and ready to cry. Cody should be there to comfort her. It shouldn't all be on Jesse. They both needed him. But he wasn't there. Just like he wasn't there for Rex when he needed him) flinched.
"Dooku is a powerful man. Rex is Force-null. One doesn't need torture to break a mind. Especially when your captor is a Sith," Obi-Wan said, his voice taking a dangerous edge.
He and Palpatine stared at each other for several moments. A battle of wills to see which one would break first.
"I'm not giving up on Rex," Skywalker said, showcasing a lot less control than Obi-Wan.
For once, Cody was glad. His words, his tone, and the clear anger that radiated through the call got Palpatine to relent.
"Very well, Master Kenobi," he said. "Send out search parties. See if you can't find these brave heroes."
Lies. All lies. Palpatine was the one that sent them out there. Palpatine was the one who wanted them gone. Palpatine was the reason his brother was MIA.
Cody would never be able to put into words just how grateful he was to Obi-Wan for sending out search party after search party. For coordinating with the other generals and admirals to see if they could spare even two men to do a quick sweep in the quadrants they were stationed.
A day passed.
Rex had to be alive.
Then another.
He had to be.
Then another.
There was no way he would die.
Then another.
Cody would not presume his brother dead until he had his body in his arms.
Then another.
He would not break Rex's trust like that. He wouldn't give up on him.
Then another.
The status was updated from MIA to presumed KIA.
Cody got sick again.
He couldn't eat.
He couldn't sleep.
He buried himself in flimsiwork.
Helix started asking him if he was resting.
Cody lied and said he was.
He stayed up for almost forty-eight hours straight.
Every time he tried to eat, his mouth rejected the food. On the rare times he managed to swallow it down, it came right back up.
KIA.
Killed in Action.
Jesse reported that Skywalker was becoming more and more destructive and reckless. Which was a feat in and of itself given how destructive Skywalker was normally. He had gone off on his own multiple times to search for Rex and the others, leaving Ahsoka (who was a still grieving child!) in charge of the 501st.
Obi-Wan finally confronted him about it.
Cody could hear their shouting from outside the room.
Obi-Wan called in Padme to see if she could talk some sense into him.
She must have because Skywalker stopped running off on his own.
Obi-Wan kept sending out search parties.
Palpatine had grown frustrated with the amount of time Obi-Wan was spending on this. He was trying to subtly move things along. He was trying to make Obi-Wan give up on his search. He was trying to make Skywalker give up on his search.
Obi-Wan assured him that he would certainly stop sending scouts out, after this one little trip. Oh, you know what? Maybe just one more. And one more. And another one. And they were right by this planet here. Surely it wouldn't hurt to send a few scouts to check it out. The Negotiator needed to hang in dead space for a bit for repairs anyway. Would you be a dear and have Tarkin send over the coordinates the men were supposed to be going to? That'd narrow down the locations. Oh, no? Okay then. He'd stop sending scouts. Oh, but wouldn't you know it, Luminara needed to send a few men to pick up supplies and a quick side trip really wouldn't delay them for too long.
No matter how many scouts Obi-Wan sent, no matter where they looked, there was always nothing. No sign of Rex or Tup or Kix or Hardcase or Echo or Fives.
Cody tried to reign in his emotions if only to support his men and Ahsoka through this. The loss of Rex hit them all hard. He needed to stay strong. He was a commander. If he couldn't handle the loss and move on, then how was he supposed to expect any of his men to handle their losses?
He tried.
He tried so hard.
He shoveled flavorless nutritional goo in his mouth. Even if most days he threw it up immediately after.
He tried to sleep most nights. Even if most nights he spent the sleep cycle staring at the ceiling.
He tried.
Already it felt like his memories of Rex were growing fuzzy. Was it the result of their advanced aging? Was he losing memories at twice the speed too?
Yeah, Rex had his voice and his face, but he also didn't. Not really. They were all just a bit different from one another and each of them held onto those differences tightly.
Cody was starting to forget.
He started to forget what Rex sounded like when he was frustrated. Happy. Sad. Angry. He forgot how he rolled his eyes. He forgot what his favorite protein bar flavor was. He forgot if he preferred rain or snow. The details of his little brother were slipping out of his mind like water in a sieve.
He didn't show it outwardly.
People asked how he was doing and he said fine.
He didn't smile.
He didn't cry.
He kept his face neutral and his voice from cracking.
One night, he broke and wrote down everything he could still remember about Rex, down to the very last detail. He wasn't sure if it helped.
Another night he nearly deleted all photos of him and Rex, not knowing if seeing them was helping or hindering his ability to get over his death.
Obi-Wan had come to his room and distracted him with flimsiwork before he could.
The next morning, he was glad he hadn't. He didn't care if holding onto the photos made him less efficient. They were all that remained of his little brother.
Well, not all that remained.
He watched the Creche to Command Episodes that Rex featured in multiple times. Sometimes, he just left them on in the background so he wouldn't forget his voice.
Sometimes, he sent Rex messages.
Sometimes these messages were accidental. Him requesting this form or that form or information to help with his reports. It wasn't until hours later that Cody remembered that Rex would never respond.
Sometimes he messaged him on purpose. Hoping that this time, Rex would finally reply. This time it would be different. This time, he would wake up from this nightmare.
He never did.
Still, Cody did think he was doing a good job at compartmentalizing his emotions so he could continue to be a productive and efficient commander. There was still a war on, after all. He would not put the lives of his men in danger just because he wanted to cry about his brother.
He was doing well.
He was doing so well.
Then, a week and a half after Rex had officially gone MIA, something in Cody snapped.
Waxer and Boil were being annoying. Wooley (either intentionally or not) was egging them on. Crys wouldn't stop complaining. Helix and Gregor wouldn't stop fussing over him. Longshot and Oddball had gotten into a fight. The natborns were being more dickish than normal.
Even the droids seemed to be trying to test his every goddamn nerve.
"All of you, shut up!" Cody shouted, slamming his fists down on the table as Waxer and Boil got into yet another argument as to whose fault it was that they were running low on droid poppers.
Cody had hit the table with such force, it felt like the entire room was vibrating. He didn't need to look to realize he had dented the table. Whatever, it was a piece of shit anyways.
Everyone in the room stopped talking and looked towards Cody, eyes wide and bodies rigid in perfect, military posture.
Cody knew what he should do next.
He should apologize.
He should take a deep breath and regain control of his emotions.
He should regain control of the situation like a good commander would. Like a proper commander would.
He didn't want to do that.
He wanted to hit something.
He wanted to hurt something.
With a growl, he stormed out of the room, leaving his men stunned behind him. No one chased after him. No one tried to talk to him in the hallways.
He wove through the ship until he got to the room he wanted, the training room. Thankfully empty.
With a carelessness that would have Alpha-17 and Prime beating him black and blue, he stripped off his armor and tossed it on the ground. He was too hot and too cold all at once. He felt suffocated. Restricted. His chest collapsed in on itself like a dying star.
He stripped the last piece and chucked it against the wall with a clatter.
He didn't want to break down sobbing.
He couldn't break down sobbing.
He needed another outlet.
He needed…
He needed…
He…
In the corner of his eye, he saw a punching bag.
He needed to hurt something.
He stormed up to it.
He didn't tape his knuckles.
He needed to feel the pain.
He needed to feel the burn.
He needed to draw blood.
He needed to punish someone for what had happened.
Palpatine wasn't on the ship.
Grievous wasn't on the ship.
Tarkin wasn't on the ship.
Ventress wasn't on the ship.
He had no other option.
His fist hit the bag, the force swinging it back so far, that it was practically parallel to the ground.
He dropped into a defensive stance. Years of hand-to-hand combat training were still embedded into his mind.
It was like that first punch unlocked something in him.
Fury took over his body.
He hit the bag.
He hit the bag again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Right hook.
Left jab.
Right cross.
Right hook.
Right round-house kick
Spinning back kick.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
The bag transformed into Ventress.
Right hook.
He pictured his fist smashing her face.
Left hook.
Revenge for taking Wolffe's eye.
Right leg side-kick.
Revenge for hurting his brother.
Right cross.
He hit her so hard the bones of her face were crushed under the strength of his fists. Blood and brain matter leaking through the holes. Head practically exploding from the force.
Left jab.
She took Wolffe's eye, so Cody would take her head.
Right back hand.
Ventress' face disappeared. Instead, Tarkin was looking at him. Disapproving as always.
Right front kick.
How dare he be Palpatine's lackey.
Right jab.
How dare he treat his brothers like they were nothing.
Left cross.
How dare he be the one to send Rex on a suicide mission like a coward.
Left hook kick.
The kick was so powerful, that it knocked Tarkin's head clean off. Blood gushing from the neck like a geyser.
Right spinning back kick.
Now it was Grievous.
Right jab.
All those lightsabers.
Left cross.
All his trophies from Jedi he had slain.
Right jab.
All because he was a pathetic sack of flesh who wanted to feel special.
Left cross.
Cody had nightmares that he'd face Grievous one day. And he'd show off his collection like always. Only, there'd be a new lightsaber there. A familiar lightsaber.
Right cross.
Obi-Wan's lightsaber.
Left jab.
And Grievous would pull it out and fight him with it.
Right jab.
His fist hit that stupid face plate with enough force to shatter it into a million pieces.
Left jab.
The soft flesh was completely exposed so Cody could crush his skull with his bare hands.
Left jab.
Cave his face in.
Left jab.
He'd be unrecognizable by the time he was done.
Left jab.
Left jab.
Left jab.
Left jab.
And then it was Palpatine.
The man was smiling at him.
Talking to him.
Trying to lull him into a false sense of security.
Trying to assure Cody that he was most distressed by Rex's disappearance and was doing everything in his power to bring him home.
He had their best interests at heart.
Trust him.
Trust him.
Trust him.
Cody let out an animalistic snarl and threw himself at the bag
Left cross.
Right jab.
Right hook.
Spinning back kick.
Hook kick.
Left hook.
His form got sloppy.
Right jab.
Right jab.
Right jab.
He didn't care.
Right hook.
Left backhand.
The bag spun and swung wildly with his force.
Roundhouse kick.
No matter how hard he hit it, Palpatine's face would not break.
Back kick.
He didn't care.
Left cross.
The skin on his knuckles split open.
Right jab.
The blood stained his skin and blacks.
Left cross.
He.
Jab.
Did.
Cross.
Not.
Jab.
Care.
Cross.
He wanted it to hurt.
Punch
He wanted Palpatine to hurt.
Kick.
Every hit on the bag.
Kick.
He needed the man to hurt.
Punch.
He needed to take his anger out on someone.
Kick.
Palpatine was the perfect target.
Punch.
This was his fault.
Punch.
All his fault.
Punch.
He was the one that sent Rex to die.
Punch.
He was the one who tried to kill Ahsoka.
Punch.
He was the one who forced peacekeepers to be generals.
Punch.
He was the one who forced children to be commanders.
Punch.
He spoke peace but prolonged the war with stupid side-quests and missions with bad intel.
Punch.
He sent his brothers to their deaths.
Punch.
He sent Rex to his death.
Punch.
He pretended to be a loving grandfatherly figure but tortured Fox and the Corries.
Punch.
He was an evil
Punch
Evil man who cared for nothing but his own power.
Kick.
Punch.
Kick.
Cody was sick of it.
Kick.
Kick.
He wasn't going to stand by any longer.
Punch.
Kick.
Kick.
Punch.
Punch.
He wasn't going to lose any more brothers.
Punch.
Tonight, he'd grab a ship and head to Coruscant and march right into Palpatine's office and put a blaster between his eyes and pull the trigger and—
He let out a roar and hit the bag so hard the chain anchoring it to the ceiling snapped.
It went sailing through the air.
It never crashed to the ground or hit the opposite wall.
"I always wondered if your enhanced strength could break chains, dear," Obi-Wan said, hand outstretched as he held the bag up with the Force.
His voice snapped Cody out of his rage. "Sir," he said, panting heavily as he struggled into a pathetic upright position and a weak salute. His limbs felt like jelly and he felt like he might pass out.
Obi-Wan gently placed the bag against the ground. "No need for formalities, Commander," he said. His eyes roved over Cody for a second.
Cody faltered under his gaze. He knew how he must look. Knuckles bloody. Blacks disheveled. Eyes wild. Hair a mess.
"Come to my quarters, Commander. I need to talk to you about something," he said, not making any mention of Cody's state. He waved his hand. All of Cody's armor stacked itself neatly and then deposited itself into Obi-Wan's arms.
"Sir?" he asked. "If this is about earlier with Waxer and Boil—"
Obi-Wan had already turned and walked out the door. Cody jogged to catch up to him.
"Hmm? Oh, yes. Possibly."
"Possibly?"
"Frankly, my dear, I don't know what happened with Waxer and Boil. But I'm assuming it's related. No matter. We can discuss more in my quarters. Come along now."
Cody did not know what to say. It didn't feel like he was about to get reprimanded for his abhorrent behavior these past few days. Still, he couldn't help but worry. Surely, as the Marshal Commander, he should be able to compartmentalize his emotions better. He should be able to move on from Rex's death quickly and get back to the matter at hand: winning the war. Luckily, they hadn't had another battle. Who knows how useful he'd be out in the field in this state?
Obi-Wan stepped into his quarters and deposited Cody's armor in the corner.
"Sir—"
"Sit on the bed. We'll talk in a moment," he said.
Obi-Wan stepped into the small kitchen attached to his quarters while Cody stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. He did say to sit on the bed. But was that an order? Or a suggestion? Sometimes it was hard to tell with the man.
Cody heard him rummaging about the kitchen and filling something with water. Ah. Tea. He was making tea, most likely.
Once the kettle had been filled, Obi-Wan stepped back into the room. He took one look at Cody, still standing like a statue, and clicked his tongue.
"On the bed, Commander. I promise we'll talk in a moment. I need to gather a few things first." He stepped into the adjoining fresher without another word.
Cody nodded numbly and sat on the bed. His legs, still feeling like jelly, were grateful for the break.
The tea kettle started whistling. Obi-Wan stepped out of the room and deposited a small box on the bed before going to take care of the tea.
It felt like Cody had blinked and a steaming mug of something fruity-smelling was pushed into his hands.
"I know you're not a fan of green or black tea. I thought something herbal with berries might be nice instead." Obi-Wan explained.
"Thank you, sir," Cody replied, not knowing what else to do.
"You're very welcome. Now then, let's see what you've done to your hands." Obi-Wan gently took Cody's left hand and knelt in front of him. He grabbed the box he had thrown on the bed and opened it up.
Small medkit, then. He probably should have known.
"You'll have to forgive me, commander. I don't have any bacta. You'll have to heal the old-fashioned way."
"It's fine," Cody replied.
Obi-Wan hummed in agreement. "Drink your tea while it's still warm."
He did as he commanded. He was a bit worried that trying to swallow the tea would have the same result as trying to swallow the nutritional goo. The last thing he needed was to vomit all over his superior officer. Thankfully, his mouth, and his stomach, seemed to accept the liquid. It settled in his gut like a stone, but not in an unpleasant way. More like something tethering him to the ground.
He took another sip.
They sat in silence for several minutes. Obi-Wan remained kneeling on the floor, rubbing some blue disinfecting gel over Cody's knuckles. It stung just a bit. When he was satisfied, he wrapped them up.
"Other hand please."
Cody switched the mug to his left hand.
Obi-Wan once again gently took the bloody hand in his and started to wipe away the blood.
"Sir—"
"Just a second, commander. I'm almost done," Obi-Wan said. The last knuckle was cleaned, disinfected, and wrapped up. "There. Good as new."
He looked up at Cody and smiled. "Now then, let's talk. Shall we?"
Cody nodded stiffly. "I apologize for my behavior these last few days."
"Apologize?"
"It is unacceptable for me to react so strongly to a death. I understand that we are soldiers and my lapse in control puts the other men in danger. It will not happen again."
"Cody," Obi-Wan said, he was still holding Cody's hand in his. His hands were warm. It was nice.
Cody snapped his mouth shut.
Obi-Wan didn't answer right away. Instead, he sat back on his heels. He thought over what he was going to say, carefully weighing his words. Cody had seen him do it before. Though, usually it was directed towards other people. It was a bit unnerving to be on the receiving end of it.
Finally, he spoke. "May I join you?"
"It's your bed."
"There are other places in the room I can sit, my dear," Obi-Wan said, still smiling gently at him.
He swallowed. "Yeah. Alright. You can sit here." It felt weird giving the general permission to sit on his own bed.
Obi-Wan gave him another small smile and pushed himself to his feet, wincing as his knees cracked from injuries that were older than this war. Cody grabbed his forearms and helped pull him to his feet.
"Thank you, my dear," Obi-Wan said. He settled next to him.
Their shoulders pressed together. Cody could feel the warmth from his body seeping through the blacks. It felt nice. Having someone to lean on. He didn't slouch (he wasn't sure slouching was possible after all the training on Kamino) but he also felt like Obi-Wan was taking some of his weight. Supporting him.
For several more minutes, neither of them spoke. Cody would have asked what was going on but knew that Obi-Wan was gathering his thoughts or something of that nature. If he remained quiet, he'd find out what was going on soon enough.
Finally, Obi-Wan began to speak. "You're not in trouble. I'm not mad at you and I'm not going to punish you. Especially for going through something like this."
Cody snorted and started picking at the bandages. "You should. He is not the first brother I've lost. He won't be the last. And I have living men that need me at my best. I need to compartmentalize and move on."
Obi-Wan let out a thoughtful hum. "Yes, compartmentalizing death. In my experience, though, there's only so much you can compartmentalize before you run out of space. And then everything spills out. And when it does, it's not pretty."
"I should be better at this."
"Cody you are human." He said this so simply yet so vehemently that it took Cody aback.
You are human.
Yes.
Yes, he was.
That was what his species was listed as on his identification. And yet, sometimes it was easy to forget. Palpatine and those of his ilk certainly didn't treat Cody like he was human.
He was expected to go longer than any human could. Fight harder. Sleep less. Do more. Be better. Lose brother after brother and continue on as if they meant nothing to him. He wasn't human. Not to the Republic. Not to the Separatists. Not to the Kaminoans. He was a flesh-droid. Made only for war and death and destruction. That was his programming. That was his design.
Obi-Wan put a hand on his shoulder, testing the boundaries. When Cody didn't remove it, the hand remained and he spoke once more.
"You are human, no matter what others say. No matter what the Kaminoans or Jango Fett told you. You just lost one of your closest brothers. Of course, it's hitting you harder than some of the other deaths. You're allowed to grieve. It's a good thing for you and the men to see you like this."
He took the tea mug from Cody's hands, now cold, and set it on the table.
"How could this be good for anyone?" Cody said, burying his head in his hands. "How could anyone trust me to lead them if I break down? How can I expect anyone to move on after a death if I can't even do it?"
"Well, for one, you can't stop your emotions. They're going to come whether you like them or not. No amount of abusive upbringing will stop it," Obi-Wan said. "But also, your men are human too. Each and every one of them has brothers that they were close to. Like you and Rex were close. They've also had times when they couldn't pick themselves up as quickly after a death. Who were angry and depressed at the world. Who wanted to shout, scream, cry, and hide in their bunks for days on end until the pain passed. What would you say if Boil lost Waxer and was struggling like you are?"
Cody flinched. "That's not a fair question."
"I think it's a perfectly fair question."
"I'm their commander. I need to be better."
"You can't be better if your men think you're an emotionless droid with no attachments to anything. They'll refuse to come to you for fear that you'll look down on them. They need to see that it's okay to feel things about the death of a loved one. Including all the ugly emotions that come with grief."
"Speaking from experience, sir?" Cody's voice cracked. He could feel emotion building. It was like a bantha was sitting on his chest. One more push would cause him to shatter completely. He was desperately holding onto the last shreds of his control. He would not break down.
He would not break down.
He would not.
"After Qui-Gon's death," Obi-Wan started, his breath hitching just a bit, "I buried my emotions far down. I thought I had to for Anakin's sake. I was worried that if I allowed myself to feel the grief, to go through it, I wouldn't be able to support this young child who had just been removed from everything he had ever known. I was trying to be strong so I could support him. I worry that he took it to mean Jedi didn't have emotions. That we didn't mourn the loss of loved ones. I worry that, in trying to keep myself together for his sake, I did more harm than good."
"You did your best," Cody said. The pressure in his chest was moving upwards to his throat. He could feel it, choking him.
Obi-Wan chuckled. "I did. But we're not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you. Cody, you lost someone who meant a lot to you. We are not currently in the middle of a battle and have some time. Break down. Please. In my experience, the only way to come out of these difficult emotions, the only way to truly release them into the Force and move forward, is to go through them. Allow yourself to feel your grief in all its entirety. I'd rather you do it now than have it happen to you whilst we're getting shot at."
Another piece of him shattered.
He still held onto his control.
"It will hurt. It will feel awful. But you need this."
Another piece shattered.
He would not break down.
Obi-Wan's hand moved from his shoulder to his back, rubbing circles. "Trust me. Lean on me. Let me be here for you. You need this, Cody. It's okay."
Back in the training room, he had felt like his chest was collapsing in on itself. He had thought that by attacking the punching bag and letting his anger out on it, he had stopped that particular feeling in its tracks.
He did not.
He only delayed the inevitable.
The final piece of his control shattered. He lurched forward and let out some sort of wounded, howling sob as his entire sense of being broke. Obi-Wan was there to hold him up so he didn't hit the floor, but otherwise, let him curl in on himself.
It wasn't just Rex he was sobbing over. It was this whole war. Every brother lost. Every Jedi lost. Every Padawan lost. Every civilian, on both sides, lost. Everyone he couldn't save. He cried for them. He cried for all of them.
Rex. Fives. Echo. Tup. Kix. Hardcase. But also Hevy, Ninety-nine, Keeli, and the thousands of other brothers lost to the Separatist army. They weren't supposed to die yet. They were supposed to be around for a very long time. They were supposed to outlive him. They were supposed to be saying his name in the remembrances.
When he thought about the end of the war, he didn't think about what he would do. He thought about what his brothers would do. Would Rex stay in the army or would he find civilian work? Would he settle down and start a family? Would he finally grow out his hair? Would he stay on Coruscant or find some quiet planet to live out the rest of his days? All those possibilities, all those scenarios were now gone. Snuffed away in an instant.
And the worst part of all of this was that Rex didn't die for a good cause. He didn't die out on the battlefield trying to free a planet or kill Dooku. He died because Palpatine wanted power and control and was willing to kill to get and maintain it. All that talent, all that life, wasted on a selfish man who didn't even know Rex's name.
His brother was gone.
The one brother Cody thought he could protect was gone.
Obi-Wan wrapped his other arm around Cody to hold him close. Possibly the only reason he wasn't completely losing himself right now. Tethering him to reality.
"Please," he sobbed, he begged, "Please, I'll do anything."
"I know," Obi-Wan said softly. One of his hands was softly stroking through Cody's hair.
"I'll do anything. Please. Just bring him back. Bring my little brother back. I need him. I can't… You have to…. I'll trade places. Please, just…" He let out a gasping, hitching breath and dissolved into more sobs. He fully collapsed in on Obi-Wan, with no more strength left in his body.
"You're a Jedi… you should have the power…"
"I can't, Cody. I'm sorry, but not even a Jedi can escape death." He continued to stroke his hair.
More tears came. Rex was gone. He was gone. No one could bring him back. No one could save him. If Obi-Wan couldn't, then no one could. And Cody was going to have to figure out how to live the rest of his life without him.
Cody didn't know how long he sat there sobbing. Much longer than appropriate, considering he was sobbing into Obi-Wan's robes. But he couldn't get himself to stop. He didn't want to stop.
Eventually, though, the sobs did slow, leaving him with a headache, a sore throat, and a sticky face.
Obi-Wan didn't let go of him. He just held him, letting Cody soak up the warmth.
" Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum, Rex, Tup, Fives, Echo, Kix, Hardcase," Obi-Wan said softly.
"Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la." Cody replied. "I got attached to Rex the moment I saw him. We were very young, but I remember seeing him and not wanting to let him out of my sight."
"The Kaminoans," he shuddered and continued, "they were going to decommission him for being non-standard. In the beginning, they would decommission clones if they deviated from the template even a little. Rex had nothing else wrong with him. He was just blond. It was probably the only nice thing Prime ever did for me, demanding they keep Rex around. Either that or he was getting tired of half the batch getting decommissioned because one's eye color was slightly off or another was left-handed instead of right-handed. Maybe he got paid by the clone and killing half of them cut into his profits. I don't know. After that, I got worried that if Rex wasn't the best, they'd decommission him anyway. He had to prove that he was worthy enough to be kept around. So, I started training him based on the Command track. For some reason, they let me. I think they were curious to see what would happen. It was all just a big fucking experiment to them."
Cody let out another shuddery breath. It felt good to talk about Rex like this. It made him feel like if he died, someone else would know. Someone else would remember.
"The storms on Kamino used to scare him. He'd come sleep in my tube every time there was one."
"I imagine that was every night then," Obi-Wan said.
Cody laughed. "Yeah, pretty much. It was the only thing he was afraid of. Which sounds good until you realize that he'd probably try to wrestle a gundark if given the chance. I was so worried when I found out he'd be separated from me. Not because I didn't think he was capable, but because I was worried he'd punch his commanding officer in the face and then jump out a window without a jet pack."
Obi-Wan laughed. "I'm sure having him serve under Anakin did not help assuage your fears."
"Hell no. I thought I was going to get a report saying those two idiots stole a ship and crashed it right into Dooku's palace."
"That would be a sight to see. It is strange to hear you so worried about Rex's more rebellious nature. I hear many troopers complain about how strict he is."
Cody rolled his eyes. "Only when I'm not around and he's trying to keep Skywalker alive. Honestly, I don't feel sorry for him getting assigned to Skywalker. He deserves it after all the shit he put me through on Kamino. Did you know he managed to poison half of our instructors?"
"Really?"
"Food poisoning. He took some nutritional goo and left it in his tube for like a month until it got nice and moldy, then mixed it in with the rest of the food. The results were… disgusting and explosive. Fox, Wolffe, and I scrambled to scrub any evidence that Rex was the one who did it. To this day, Nala Se and Lama Su both think it was a glitch in their food preservation methods."
Cody felt better. Or, at least, he felt more in control of himself. So, he pushed himself away from Obi-Wan and sat back to scrub his face.
"I always knew him dying was a possibility. We're in a war. It's going to happen. But, for some reason, I also thought it wouldn't happen to him, you know? I don't know why. It's not like Rex has some sort of special ability to defy death. I just… I thought if anyone could see the end of the war, it'd be him." More tears leaked from his eyes. At least he wasn't sobbing anymore. "I know it's stupid to even think that—"
"It's not," Obi-Wan said. "It's not, Cody. It's perfectly natural. Everyone thinks bad things won't happen to them or the people they love, even if logic says otherwise."
Cody nodded. He still felt stupid for ever believing that Rex would survive. "I don't know how I'm going to continue without him. I'm just supposed to wake up and live, every day? Like I did before? How can I do that when he's gone?" More tears slipped down his cheeks.
"The same way every grieving person does," Obi-Wan said. "One day at a time. And if one day is too much, then one hour at a time. And if one hour is too much, then one minute at a time. Rex would want you to continue moving forward. To win this fight for him."
Cody nodded. "I know."
He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say, no matter how much it hurt. "You can stop sending scouts to look for him. I don't want to waste resources on a dead brother while there are still living ones in my care."
Those words alone made him feel crushed under the weight of his guilt. Like he was turning his back on Rex. Like he was admitting that the Kaminoans should have decommissioned him all those years ago.
Truthfully, though, he should have stopped Obi-Wan days ago. He should have stopped him as soon as the KIA determination came through. Palpatine wanted Rex out of the way. He had the resources to make it happen. Rex was dead as soon as Tarkin had sent him on that mission. And Cody was a fool to think that a few scouting missions could save him.
Obi-Wan sucked in a breath. "Cody, I don't think that's a good idea. The circumstances surrounding Rex's disappearance are su—"
Cody's heart rate spiked. With a desperate look in his eye, he let his shields shatter so Obi-Wan could feel the panic and sincerity from him. He grabbed Obi-Wan's shoulder and yanked him so they were face to face, using the field hand signal for Stop.
He thought about the recording devices in this room. The fact that Palpatine was watching all of them. The fact that he was going out of his way to kill those he could not control. Obi-Wan was one of those people. He regularly argued with the chancellor. He was more open about his dislike of the man. Hell, he had just spent the last week and a half openly defying his orders to not look for Rex!
Cody had almost lost Ahsoka. He had lost Rex. He was not about to put Obi-Wan in Palpatine's line of sight.
Obi-Wan stopped talking immediately, the words dying in his mouth as his brow furrowed and he studied Cody.
" Status?" He signed back.
Cody hesitated, unsure of how much he should tell Obi-Wan since they had no solid proof that Palpatine was behind any of this. Unsure of how much he should bring him into this, especially not without discussing it with Wolffe and Fox first. They were treading in very dangerous waters right now. One wrong move, one rushed decision, could cause this whole thing to collapse and Palpatine to win.
But, he had just alerted him to the fact that something was wrong. He couldn't just leave the conversation hanging.
" They're listening." He signed.
Obi-Wan's brow furrowed even more. Then he nodded and took Cody's hands. "The circumstances surrounding Rex's disappearance are severely worrying," he said, very deliberately. "He was on a top-secret mission. If Dooku managed to get ahold of him, the damage that could be done is troubling. Especially since the information surrounding the mission is so confidential. I'm not even allowed to know where Rex was heading. I worry that damaging information may end up in the wrong hands."
It was an act. A show. Cody knew how Obi-Wan spoke when he was trying to distract an enemy or a politician. He was glad the man took it seriously without asking for further clarification. Yet. He would ask eventually, and Cody needed to be prepared for that.
"Still," Cody said, "we don't know where they were headed. The galaxy is too big to keep sending men out and we don't have resources to waste."
Obi-Wan's face was grim. "Yes, you're right. I'll keep an ear out, though. And if something comes up, I'll send people to investigate."
"Thank you," Cody said softly. He felt exhausted. Even just sitting in the room, relieved that, at least for now, Palpatine hopefully wouldn't suspect that Obi-Wan suspected something was up, he felt a bone-deep weariness seep into his body. His eyes started slipping closed.
"Get some rest, Commander," Obi-Wan said, guiding him to lie down on the bed.
"Stay?" Cody asked.
"Of course, my dear." The bed shifted and Obi-Wan laid down next to him, gathering him up in his arms once more.
Cody's eyes slipped closed and, for the first time since Rex disappeared, he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
*****
"They're listening."
Well, that was a worrying thing to hear from his commander.
Obi-Wan sat in the dark room, Cody asleep on his chest, engines and life-support humming softly and creating white noise he had grown to find soothing. Despite the warmth and the white noise and the emotional exhaustion from the grief Cody was feeling, Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to sleep.
"They're listening."
Who was listening? And why was Cody so concerned with them overhearing?
Even if Waxer, Boil, and Wooley had their ears pressed against the door, the thick durasteel wouldn't let any sound out, especially with as softly as they were talking.
Someone else might mistake Cody's insistence for a temporary bout of insanity brought on by extreme grief and emotional distress. But Obi-Wan knew his commander. He knew this was no bout of insanity. The way Cody consciously let his shields shatter so Obi-Wan could feel his fear was proof enough that Cody was not paranoid or acting out of grief and sleep exhaustion.
Someone was listening to them. Perhaps through a listening device in this room. A device that Cody knew about, but Obi-Wan didn't.
How worrying indeed.
Why would anyone need to know what went on in Obi-Wan's room? Sure, he understood the need for cameras placed throughout the ship. Security was necessary. But the rooms? And if there was a listening device in his room, then there were likely similar devices in the barracks as well.
Was it just on The Negotiator or did all ships within the GAR have these devices? Who was listening? What did they want to hear? And how did Cody know about it, but Obi-Wan didn't?
He kept running his fingers through Cody's hair, the repetitive motion almost like meditation, allowing his mind to work through the problem, and untangle the knot.
They had gotten through the entire conversation without Cody panicking that someone was listening. He had been more open and vulnerable than Obi-Wan had ever seen him, but it was only after Obi-Wan implied Rex's mission was suspicious and worth another look that he panicked.
Someone in the GAR or Republic, then.
Worrying indeed.
This wasn't the first time Obi-Wan felt as though not all members of the Republic were truly on their side. And not just in the normal way of those like Rush Clovis who put profits over people. Nor was it the first time he felt as though there was something else going on. A bigger game. A secret, second war that he didn't know about, nor did he know what side he was on.
Master Qui-Gon said there was always a bigger fish. Obi-Wan didn't think it was possible to have a bigger fish than a galactic war that, at this point, had involved every planet in one way or another, whether they liked it or not.
But maybe he was being foolish in thinking he had found the biggest fish there was.
Dooku had spoken about a Sith in the senate. At the time, Obi-Wan had brushed it off as his grandmaster trying to make his side seem more impressive and intimidating than it was. An attempt to discourage Obi-Wan from attempting to stop him. An attempt to sway him to the dark side by implying they were more powerful than the Jedi.
Besides, Obi-Wan had spent a lot of time around the Senators and their aides. One did not gain the moniker of 'the negotiator' without spending a truly abhorrent amount of time around politicians. And none of them had any indication of being a powerful Sith. The council and Obi-Wan should be able to spot a Sith if they were in the room with them. And, while some politicians did have mild Force sensitivity, none of them were enough to be a powerful Sith lord who commanded Dooku himself.
Obi-Wan did wonder if perhaps the Sith was a lower member of staff. Perhaps an intern or something, but even that idea was laughable. There was no way someone who was a Sith Lord would lower themselves to a position of servitude, especially if the goal was to influence the Senate. Interns and secretaries weren't exactly powerful people.
Based on all this evidence, based on the fact that no one on the Jedi Council could sense the dark side in the Senate, that meant that Dooku was lying. Only, now Obi-Wan wasn't convinced.
"They're listening."
Quin had told Obi-Wan and the rest of the council off for discussing the investigation into the Corries over the GAR network. All calls and messages were recorded and it was very likely the person they were investigating had access to these logs and knew they were coming.
What were the chances that the person Cody was worried about was the same person mistreating the Corries?
The more Obi-Wan's mind worked through the problem, the more worrying the picture became.
What would a Sith want with the troopers? And how much damage could they do while the Council wasn't looking?
And then there was Ahsoka's assassination attempt. Something hadn't sat right with Obi-Wan about the mission from the very beginning. The Force seemed to be nudging him back towards that once again.
There was a Sith in the Senate.
Someone was listening in on the troopers (and apparently Obi-Wan).
Someone Cody knew about, but Obi-Wan didn't.
Someone was mistreating the Corries.
Someone powerful enough to make them so very, very afraid.
And someone had rushed Ahsoka to a far-off planet alone where she was nearly killed by a bounty hunter.
Well, not someone. Palpatine had been the one to set the mission up.
Ah, yes, Palpatine. It all seemed to be coming back to Palpatine. Every thread he pulled led right back to the man in ways that sometimes made too much sense.
While the mission for Rex and the others was top secret so there was no way to know who ordered it, the fact that Palpatine seemed to be in the know, and the fact that Tarkin had pulled men who didn't work under him for the mission signaled that someone higher up was involved. And the fact that Tarkin even had access to Rex in the first place was repugnant! Imagine if Obi-Wan just marched up to Depa and demanded Gray go on a top-secret mission for him! Scratch that, imagine if Obi-Wan didn't even demand Gray from Depa and just took him anyway! It'd never happen. Except it did happen, with Rex. Not to mention there had been an oh-so-important meeting that Anakin and Yularen just had to attend, leaving Rex alone in the shipyard with no other commanding officers to step in and stop Tarkin from taking him. All in all, the circumstances around his disappearance certainly pointed to a larger player involved.
And then with Ahsoka's assassination attempt. Palpatine had been the one to set the mission up. Palpatine had been the one to deny all attempts for Obi-Wan to give her help. Palpatine had put her in a position that isolated her from other Jedi and Admirals damn near on the opposite edge of the Galaxy from where everyone else was and then whisked Mace away even though he was already there. Really, to this day, Obi-Wan could not get a straight answer as to what was so important that Mace could not stay on the planet and help Ahsoka clean it up. Or why Cody couldn't have gone to give her some support. Or why they couldn't wait a few hours for one of the other Jedi to finish up their campaigns and join her.
The Corries were another sticking point. Palpatine had near unrestricted access to them. He was powerful. Technically, he could order their deaths (renamed decommissioning to make it an easier pill to swallow) at any point in time. It made sense that if he was the one who was hurting the Corries, they wouldn't tell Quin. Palpatine was more powerful than Quin. Hell, at this point he practically controlled the Jedi order with all those emergency powers acts that he kept passing. For all the Corries knew, Quin was on Palpatine's side, not theirs.
Also, Obi-Wan's distrust of Palpatine stemmed from long before the war had started. It always rubbed him the wrong way how hyper-focused the man seemed to be on Anakin. "Mentorship", he called it. He wanted to "mentor" Anakin.
That made Obi-Wan scoff. When he was younger, he had been offered several opportunities to be "mentored" by powerful men in high-ranking positions. Always with a sickly-sweet smile on their faces. Good thing Obi-Wan was a bit feral as a child and tended to bite people he didn't like. It was part of the reason he grew out the beard in the first place. It made him look older. Sadly, though, while offers for "mentorship" dropped off after he got some facial hair, wandering hands and innuendos did not.
While he could detect no such urge from Palpatine towards Anakin, something about the requests seemed off. Thankfully, Obi-Wan had managed to keep Anakin from spending time alone with the man, especially as a child. He batted his eyes at the Chancellor and implied that rumors would swirl if he spent time alone with a recently freed slave child lacking a support system and Obi-Wan was only thinking of Palpatine's reputation. He'd hate for some disgusting rumors to sprout up. It worked.
Up until a point.
As Anakin grew older, he grew more independent. And with that independence came the desire to be alone with the Chancellor. Obi-Wan could never put his finger on the feeling of unease and distrust he had towards Palpatine. He had no solid proof. Whenever he urged Anakin to cut his time with the Chancellor down, he could never give a good reason. Leading to arguments, fights, and accusations that Obi-Wan was trying to control Anakin and ending with one of them storming off.
Eventually, he had to accept that his padawan was an adult and would make choices that Obi-Wan didn't agree with. And part of being an adult was making mistakes and finding out for yourself why you shouldn't do certain things. He would be there if Palpatine ever hurt Anakin. He'd be there to pick up the pieces. He wouldn't say 'I told you so'. He'd support his Padawan and help Anakin learn from the experience so he wouldn't be taken advantage of again.
And now that he had Padme, Obi-Wan hoped it would help bring him balance and peace.
The only problem with Palpatine being the Sith and abusing the troopers and sending Rex to his death and trying to kill Ashoka was that he didn't have any Force Sensitivity. The man was so Force-null that even Cody had more midochlorians in his blood than Palpatine. Cody was a sun in the Force; bright, guiding, and warm. Not powerful enough to be a Jedi, but powerful enough for Obi-Wan to be drawn to him. Palpatine was like a lump of lead: absolutely nothing going on in there. He was convinced R2-D2 had more Force sensitivity than him.
Not only that, but it made no sense why he would go through all this trouble. What was so special about Ahsoka and Rex that he had to kill them? Why spend all this time, energy, and money to get them out of the way?
What was Obi-Wan missing?
Once again, he wished he had some sort of secure way to talk to Quin about this. If he could just point his friend in a direction, maybe they'd finally start getting somewhere. But Obi-Wan hadn't had the chance to set foot on Coruscant in over a month. And, looking at the line-up of campaigns, he probably wasn't going to get back for at least another two.
How suspicious.
While Anakin got to regularly return, it was almost like someone wanted to keep Obi-Wan as far from the Capitol as possible.
Quin had chewed them all out for discussing sensitive topics relating to the GAR over the GAR network, pointing out that anyone could be listening. And now it looked like this went further than chatlogs and security cameras. Someone was listening. At least, Cody seemed to think so. And Obi-Wan was inclined to believe his commander.
He'd meditate on potential ways to get in contact with Quin later. They had codes they could use. Sadly, nothing that translated to "Look into the Chancellor of the Republic, he might be a Sith Lord even though he's got the Force Sensitivity of a potato."
He was crafty. He could figure out a way to get Quin in the loop without alerting their eavesdropper. But first, he'd help Cody get through his grief. It might be a good idea to set him up with a mind healer like Master Plo was inclined to do with his troops.
Yes, that was a good plan. Set Cody up with a mind healer, and then work through how to communicate with Quin when every move Obi-Wan made was being watched.
*****
Cody had woken up several hours later still in Obi-Wan's room. Still in his bed. Still in his arms.
Yeah, that was very inappropriate of him and something that would have him decommissioned in a heartbeat if anyone ever found out. Still, he couldn't bring himself to care. It felt nice, for once, not feeling like everything had to be on his shoulders.
He still felt tired and empty inside, but he also felt like he wouldn't snap and punch Waxer the next time he pissed him off. With this sense of control also came a sense of determination.
Cody was pissed off.
He had allowed Palpatine to get away with too much. He hadn't acted quickly enough. He hadn't had a plan when they first started investigating him. And now they were paying the price. Palpatine was making moves. He was attempting to reassert control over the situation. If they let this go on for much longer, they could lose everything.
Cody could not sit around any longer. He had to step the fuck up, man the fuck up, and be a fucking commander.
With this thought in his mind, he slipped from the bed, put on his armor, and stepped out, leaving Obi-Wan sleeping.
The blind spot he chose was one of the more comfortable ones. It was in the engine room. Turns out, there was a set of pipes that if you could squeeze through, there was a nice-sized gap that was perfect for pacing and standing upright. Instead of hunched over like so many of the blind spots. The only problem was that there were a lot of troopers passing through. It was difficult to slip in unnoticed. But, at this time in the night cycle, Cody managed it easily. He marked it off on the unregulated datapad and called up Wolffe and Fox.
Wolffe answered immediately. "Cody? Are you okay? How are you holding up? I heard about what happened to Rex. Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine."
Wolffe did not look convinced.
Cody sighed and pinched his brow. "I'll be fine," he amended. "Just taking it one day at a time."
"Yeah, of course. What's up?"
Fox joined the call. "Cody," he said, nodding to his brother. "I'm sorry about Rex."
Cody swallowed. He didn't need apologies. They wouldn't help now. They needed action.
"We need to kill the Chancellor."
For a second, neither of them said anything. He was prepared for arguments, for them to tell him that they should hold back and find another way.
"Okay," Wolffe said instead.
"Wait really?"
Wolffe rolled his eyes. "Yes, really. What the fuck do you want me to say? Want me to argue with you? Oh, no, Cody, we shouldn't kill the Chancellor. He's such a nice man. Oh, he tried to kill Ahsoka and did kill Rex? Okay, then. I guess we can kill him." Wolffe mocked. "There. We argued. Let's kill the Chancellor."
"I agree," Fox said. "He's the problem. He's the reason all of this is happening. We need to get rid of him. Gathering evidence against him is taking too much time. I was hoping we'd have something solid to bring the Jedi, but it's all gut feelings and circumstantial evidence."
Wolffe nodded. "We don't even know if Tarkin is doing anything illegal or immoral. For all we know, he's planning surprise birthday parties for various senators. And even if he is doing body shots off of Separatist leaders and selling them information, that still might not be enough to implicate Palpatine. We might put in all this time and effort for nothing."
"Should we stop the investigation then?" Fox asked.
Cody shook his head. "No. I don't want to focus all of our attention on one plan of attack. We'll continue the investigation. If we find something on Tarkin or Palpatine that we can take to the Jedi, we'll have another potential way to get rid of both of them."
"Agreed," Wolffe said. "I'm meeting up with someone in a few days that will hopefully help handle my girls better. They're doing the best they can, but they're not trained spies. Hopefully, if they get some training, they'll be able to get better information faster."
"Are you going to tell us who it is?" Fox asked.
Wolffe shook his head. "I want to wait and see if she's willing to help out first. Don't worry, I'll let you know eventually. Now, back to Palpatine. It's clear he's trying to take back control of us and the Jedi."
"What do you mean?" Cody asked.
"Think about it, Codes, Ashoka's series was never under his control. He had no way of using it for his own gains. It influences people. It influences the war. It's influencing us. He doesn't like that. So, he tries to kill her. Only, it doesn't work. And he's not stupid. He knows a second assassination attempt will draw too much attention, particularly from the Jedi. So, he's sneakier this time. He takes out the people closest to Ahsoka, either to intimidate her into stopping or to make her so depressed she doesn't want to post any more videos. And it worked. Even when she was out on medical leave for a month, people still posted videos for her. This time? Nothing. I haven't even updated 'Best of the GAR' out of respect for her. He's regained control of the situation and that scares me."
"Scares me too," Fox said softly. "The amount of power and control he has over us already… and it's growing. We can't wait any longer. The man is dangerous. Not only that, but he's definitely up to something else. I don't like it at all."
Cody nodded. "Good, so we're all on the same page. He needs to go. Just…" He sighed and pinched his brow. "Can we just wait a day? I'm still pissed off and I don't want to make any reckless decisions that might get us all killed."
"A week. We'll wait a week," Wolffe said.
Cody glared at him. "A day. Give me a day."
Wolffe shook his head. "No, vod'ika. You need at least a week. You might feel fine now, but in an hour, in a day, the grief might crash into you all over again. It's not a linear process. If we're going to do this, we need to all be at our best. Take another week, and grieve for your brothers. We don't want to pull a Palpatine and botch an assassination attempt."
"I agree," Fox said. "Besides, hopefully by not reacting immediately and you breaking down visibly on camera, we lull Palpatine into a false sense of security and he drops his guard. He thinks he has more control than he does. We want him to continue thinking we're not smart enough to be enemies."
"The Kaminoans did do their best to make us mindless soldiers that only follow orders," Wolffe added.
"Good soldiers follow orders," Fox muttered.
"We're not good soldiers, though," Wolffe grinned. "We're great ones. And great soldiers will do whatever it takes to destroy the enemy."
"Besides, a week will give Wolffe and I a chance to brainstorm how to do this in a way that doesn't completely destroy the galaxy," Fox said. "As much as I want Palpatine gone, I don't want to hand the Republic to Dooku on a silver platter."
Cody nodded, knowing that he wasn't going to convince his brothers to speed up the timeline. Besides, they were right. Right now the emotional wounds were still too raw and ragged. He risked destroying everything if he forced them to move too fast. Anger could provide clarity, but it could also make you sloppy. Cody would not lose any more brothers. To do that, he needed to let his anger and his desire to kill Palpatine immediately go so that they could succeed.
"Fine, a week," he said. "Then we start planning. I also want another plan, a way for us to grab the Jedi and disappear if we need to as a last resort."
"Can do," Wolffe said.
"And have Tech speed up on getting those datapads to the other commanders. I want all of them to have one by the end of the month. Wolffe, use your network if you have to. We are not going to leave another brother by himself again. Got it?"
"Yes sir," Wolffe said.
Cody turned to Fox. "I know you have a lot on your plate, but you need to get more sleep."
"Cody—"
"No, don't argue with me on this, Fox. We're not just messing around anymore. We're doing something very dangerous that requires all of us to be in top form. We cannot afford to make any mistakes."
"If I sleep more, then not everything gets done," Fox argued.
"Sacrifices have to be made. I know it's hard, but let some things go knowing that it'll be easier to make it better when we don't have Palpatine trying to kill us and manipulate us."
Fox bristled.
"He's right, Fox," Wolffe said. "You're doing a great job trying to be the Marshal Commander and the Representative and helping us with these investigations, but you can't do everything. Six hours of sleep a night."
"Three," Fox grunted.
"Four," Cody said. "And that's not up for negotiation."
Fox grunted again. "Fine. Four hours of sleep. You," he pointed at Cody, "properly grieve for a week. Then we kill the bastard."
"Now that's what I like to hear," Wolffe said with a predatory grin. " Oya!"
"Oya." Fox and Cody replied.
The holoprojector turned off, leaving Cody in silence for a few minutes. He still felt like he could break at any moment, but he also felt a fire light in his veins. A drive and determination he hadn't felt before.
He mentally kicked himself.
When they had first started this, the datapads and the investigations, they had been doing it without a clear goal in mind. There was only the vague sense of 'if we find something, we'll hand it to the Jedi and let them take care of it'. That had been Cody's mistake. That had been his downfall.
He couldn't assume that any information he got would be enough for the Jedi to act. He couldn't assume that they'd get information in time. He couldn't assume that the information he got would lead him to the conclusion he wanted.
If he wanted this war to end, if he wanted to protect the people he cared about, then he needed to take an active role. If they found something, he'd still let the Jedi in on it. He trusted Obi-Wan enough to believe he'd be down for cutting the Chancellor's head off if given the chance. But he couldn't wait. Now was the time to plan. Now was the time to act.
Palpatine thought he was in control?
Let him think that.
Let him believe that he had the upper hand.
Let him be lulled into a false sense of security while Cody openly grieved his lost brothers.
Let him watch and listen to the troopers for any hints of insubordination.
Cody was no longer a pawn in his game. But he would play the part perfectly. If Palpatine had secret agendas, then he would too.
Once he felt ready, he stepped out from the alcove and began to wander.
He had no destination in mind, he just wanted to walk and be in his head for a bit. Besides, aimless wandering on the cameras was a good look for a grieving clone who was reminded of how expendable he and his brothers were.
It didn't last long, though.
"Commander," a trooper said, jogging up to him. "There you are. There's a message for you on the bridge, sir. It's urgent."
Cody sighed and acknowledged the trooper. "Thanks. I'll be there in a bit."
So much for wandering aimlessly. That was okay, though. He was ending this one way or another. They were getting rid of Palpatine and they were going to end the war.
This had gone on long enough.
Notes:Mandoa Translations:
Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum: Daily remembrance of those passed on *I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal.
Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la.: Not gone, merely marching far away.
Cody, speed running his way through the stages of grief in under two weeks: I'm a failure as a commander because I'm not getting over the death of my little brother fast enough!
Obi-Wan, who has been dealing with Anakin Skywalker's histrionics for over a decade: Please, have some tea and a cuddle before you lose your mind!