Fire.
Red fire.
Like a funeral song from hell.
When Rudeus woke up, all he could see was a roaring fire.
The strong smell of burning stung his nose, and the smoke made his eyes water.
The whole world was lit up by the red fire.
Then came the roaring sound.
The fire roared with a terrible sound, lighting up the whole world, broken and boiling.
Why did this suddenly happen?
Why did this happen to me?
He probably already knew the answer: he wasn't paying attention while reading and knocked over the candle, causing the fire to engulf the whole house.
But Rudeus didn't want to admit it was his fault.
It was just an accident, bad luck.
I didn't do anything wrong.
It's everyone else's fault!
If his parents, Paul and Zenith, hadn't left their children and gone on a trip, they would have noticed the fire.
And Lilia, as a maid of the Greyrat family, couldn't she have tried to stop the fire?
Even though Lilia's leg injury made it hard for her to run, couldn't she have done something?
And his brother, the boy named Shirou... if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for him...
Rudeus kept passing the blame, blaming everyone but himself, avoiding the mistake he should have taken responsibility for.
It was what he was best at in his previous life, and what he did the most.
It's not my fault.
It's everyone else's fault.
You all made me a shut-in, the whole world is against me.
I tried so hard, I did my best, why did it end up like this? What did I do wrong?!
How much do you want to hurt me before you stop!
Rudeus's mind went back to the same state as his previous life. When faced with problems he couldn't solve, he instinctively tried to escape, avoiding reality and blaming everyone else.
He used this trick to avoid reality for almost twenty years in his past life, blaming everyone for his problems, accepting his parents' support and his siblings' sympathy, enjoying his lazy life, and letting others pay for his cowardice.
As long as he didn't feel guilty, he wouldn't notice how bad his life was.
As long as he cut himself off from the outside world, any selfish thought was okay.
Because when someone shuts themselves off, they don't think about other people's feelings. They only think about their own pain and sadness, and don't think about how they're making things hard for the people around them.
This works well when people are kind, but when the world is cruel, running away just makes things worse.
Like when he was kicked out of his house in his past life, or like the fire that was now closing in on him.
Running away might make him feel better, but it doesn't solve the real problem!
"Snap!"
A spark flew out near him. Rudeus saw the fire and finally realized that it wouldn't just disappear because he was avoiding responsibility.
The fire was so close that he could feel the heat and burning on his skin.
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do!
Rudeus's mind was in chaos.
He knew what he should do. At least get rid of the fire, or at least escape from the room.
But could he really escape?
Could he really leave the room and face reality?
When he thought about the blame he might get, and how angry Paul and Zenith would be when they came back, Rudeus even thought about dying in the fire.
If he died, he wouldn't have to take responsibility, right?
He'd already died once, so maybe dying again wouldn't be so bad?
Maybe God would grant his wish again and give him another chance to start over, or maybe he'd even have the power to go back in time like some characters in novels...
Rudeus's mind was filled with escape and illusions.
He gave up and just huddled in the corner of the room, waiting for the fire to engulf him.
And then—
"Rudy! Lilia!"
A boy's voice suddenly rang out in the burning house.
Compared to Rudeus, the boy's voice was calm and strong, as if he didn't know what it meant to be lost or to run away. He would do everything he could to defeat reality.
"Shirou..."
When Rudeus heard the boy's voice, he was stunned. He didn't expect to hear his voice in the house.
No way.
He shouldn't be home right now, right?
The house is on fire, did he really come in here?
Looking at the fire that seemed to be swallowing everything, Rudeus couldn't imagine anyone making that choice.
If it were him, he would try to solve the problem, but if he realized it was beyond his ability, he would give up without hesitation.
It has nothing to do with me, it doesn't matter if I can't do it...
Rudeus thought that normal people would think like him, they would be a little kind, but more often they would choose to run away from reality.
So he didn't think the boy would be here, let alone appear in front of him like a hero who saves everything.
No one would do that...
Normal people can't do that!
"Crash!"
As Rudeus thought this, a burning pillar fell down, as if wrapped in red tongues.
Luckily, it just fell next to Rudeus, but the feeling of being close to death still made his face pale.
He realized that just because he had died once, didn't mean he wasn't afraid of death anymore.
On the contrary, because he had experienced death and knew how terrible it was, he was even more afraid of it than anyone else.
Death is a terrible thing.
"I don't want to die..."
His mind finally wanted to live, but his body couldn't do anything. His shaking muscles didn't seem to belong to him, and didn't move the way he wanted them to.
Rudeus realized that cowardice is a disease.
This disease slowly eats away at a person's mind, and makes them useless without them even realizing it.
They can't make the right decisions in dangerous situations.
Am I going to die here?
I don't want to die.
I really don't want to die.
I finally got a new life, and I don't want it to end here...
Rudeus tried his best to move his legs and take action, but his arms and legs just kept shaking and didn't listen to him.
If there was a disease called weakness, he was definitely in the final stages.
On the other hand, his brother Shirou had never been infected with this disease, he had never even been exposed to it. He always did the right thing and never hesitated because of fear.
Rudeus suddenly realized that his feelings for Shirou were not fear or guilt, but envy.
It was something he didn't have, something that didn't belong to him.
If I had something like that, would things be different...?
As the fire got closer and the smoke clouded his mind, Rudeus's vision narrowed, and he couldn't even see his surroundings clearly.
At that moment—
"Bang!"
The door was suddenly pushed open from the outside.
Like a hallucination, or like a dream come to life.
The hero who saves everything.
He appeared.