I was dragged to the front of a room. When we reached the door, the security robots gave me a lengthy explanation of what had happened and what was to come, which I'll summarize for you.
Normally, I would have been simply interrogated in the meeting room and, if nothing suspicious was found, we would be released with the institution agreeing to pay compensation. If we were found guilty, the matter would be taken to a higher court. That is, if I hadn't said some unspeakable things to this so-called Dr. Lara.
According to the security robots, they had become quite lenient because they liked Hulk. Dr. Lara had been working at that facility since its founding and couldn't tolerate this disrespect. Considering the facility was founded 350 years ago, I had broken the record for a woman about 10 times my age who had never been walked on for centuries. This was truly a strange record to break.
Now, this is what was going to happen: we had to appear before the director of the facility, Dr. Lehstorm, and defend ourselves. If Dr. Haim Lehstorm didn't like our defense, he would complain about us to the Weapon Security Agency (WSA), the Interstellar Law Enforcement Agency (ILEA), the Bioethics Oversight Agency (BOA), the Space Economy & Financial Security Agency (SEFSA), and the Cosmic Innovation & Scientific Advancement Agency (CISA). According to Hulk, considering the speed of these institutions, it would take about 45 years for all these complaints to be resolved in court. I really didn't want to waste 45 years of my life like this.
When they took us into the room, we found a room with black walls but with white LED strips along the edges. The security robots left. Only Dr. Lara entered the room with us, and according to Hulk, she was still looking at me with hatred.
In front of us was a gigantic, three-meter-tall human statue. It was sitting on a throne. On its head was a four-sided crown, and pipes rising from each corner of this crown went into an oval black protrusion stuck to the ceiling. Looking a little closer, I saw that the scalp under the crown had been cut open, and a digital brain was exposed.
After looking at this statue for a while, the statue opened its two yellow eyes and looked at me. Its pupils darted around like a paranoiac's eyes. The nerves inside the eyes resembled scratches on a CD.
"Are these the ones?" it said without making any movement.
"Yes, director," said Lara.
"Explain yourselves…" I swallowed. This robotic, monstrous voice had scared me a little. I didn't know what to do.
"About what?"
"Why did you attack us?"
"Would you believe me if I said we didn't attack you? If we said it was all an accident… That we were even dumber than you think…"
From behind, Dr. Lara chimed in: "Don't be fooled by this man looking like a simple human, director. My team and I believe this man is an artificial human. We also believe he killed the ship's real owner and hijacked the ship. His creature friend has no index… which means the illegal creature was clearly created without permission. Just like this man…"
"But you haven't done any tests!" Hulk shouted. "How can you call this man an artificial human without experimenting on him?"
"I don't feel the need to."
"Why didn't you feel the need, Dr. Lara?" asked the statue-like human, Director Lehstorm.
"It's very obvious that he is not a Bioethics Oversight Agency (BOA) Inspector… He can't use his own ship, and he has a dysfunctional assistant. We also found an ID on him. The BOA ID has no photo, no data containing any information that he is a BOA inspector. It's probably fake or stolen. Also, his attempt to bomb us is a big piece of evidence."
"It wasn't on purpose. The buttons got mixed up!"
"That doesn't make sense to us, stranger," said the statue.
Hulk was so scared at that moment that he was enthusiastically whispering: "Please, boss, save us! I'm an illegal creature, I have no index. They will either lock me up somewhere or kill me."
At that moment, I noticed something. This statue-like computer man—who was clearly a Neo-Human—didn't harbor any hatred toward me. Or rather, his robotic part prevented him from harboring it. Any hatred, anger, sadness, jealousy. He felt nothing. It was very likely that I could use this to my advantage and get myself out of trouble. It seemed like I had to defend myself, to put on a show here, just like in a lawyer movie.
But did I have the talent to do that? That was the real question to be asked.
"So what makes sense to you, Doctor Lehstorm? What do you think I am?"
"I don't have enough data. Therefore, I cannot make any judgments." He was truly like a stiff statue. Nothing moved except his eyes.
"Make a guess." With the information I had also acquired from Jose, computers were in great pain when they made guesses. They weren't as good as humans at making things up, or rather, they preferred not to make things up. Because they were trying to make the most appropriate guess.
"It's… It's possible you are an aggressor."
"Like a pirate?"
"Could be…"
"An agent…"
"Could be…"
"How can it be both? One enters secretly, the other attacks ferociously."
"I don't have enough data, so it could be both."
"But where one is, the other cannot be."
"You are talking nonsensically."
"Maybe…" I had started pacing around. "I'd like to say this, Director Lehstorm, you actually have the data in your hand; the result of the data just doesn't make sense to you."
"Impossible… I have never denied what the data shows."
"Then let's think. You wake up one day and continue to distribute data with those cables on your head. Our doctor, Lara, continues to scowl angrily and drink coffee. Suddenly a ship arrives and bombs your facility… Just like that… When was the last time this facility was attacked?"
"173 years ago…"
"You're being attacked for the first time in 173 years. A missile attack… Just a single missile, no more. And where does this missile land?"
"The missile came toward us but the energy barriers stopped it."
"So this missile was just fired for nothing?"
"Yes…"
"But sir…" Dr. Lara chimed in. "…couldn't this artificial human have just failed to attack? He couldn't even land the ship."
"If I can't do it, why would I even want to attack?"
"Maybe he just did it because he has a tendency toward violence. Didn't he attack one of our robots? Didn't he say indecent things to me?"
At that moment, I lifted my head and looked at the gigantic statue. It was waiting for an answer.
"First of all, I want to say this. It's clear that I'm not a pirate or an agent. If I were a pirate, I wouldn't attack so incompetently. An agent would try to enter secretly. So your question now is this: am I someone with a tendency toward violence?"
"You could also be a thief, a distraction, or a cult member," said the Statue.
"But Director Lehstorm, what did I tell you? Didn't I ask what you thought I could be? Didn't you say I could be a pirate or an agent?"
"I didn't have enough data, and they were your…" I cut him off right then. It was the best thing humans did. Especially in parliaments…
"Shhh… Please don't interrupt me. I proved to you that I'm not a pirate or an agent. We don't want to waste our lives proving everything one by one here, do we? Well, not your life, but mine. What was I saying… Do you think it's a crime for a person to have a tendency toward violence?"
"A tendency toward violence is a crime," said Lehstorm.
"For a human…"
"Yes, it is a crime."
"Then I will ask you this. Go ahead and browse the internet, databases, or wherever you want; go back centuries. Go back to a time when inspectors were human. Examine the inspectors with a tendency toward violence one by one. The violent, foul-mouthed, useless, scatterbrained ones… The ones you said are like me."
"I am examining."
"You will encounter one word."
"What word… There are a lot of words here…"
"Corruption…"
"What does this mean?"
"First, I want you to research the word corruption thoroughly, to internalize it. Research it well, let its meaning settle in your mind." I had given him a few seconds, then continued to speak. "In the past, humans used to help each other out of favor. This was the reason institutions became so robotic. Breaking rules for a favor was breaking the system. The bugs in the system were now causing problems in an incredibly advanced era, when human influence had greatly increased.
Now, what were you normally planning to do? You were going to report me to the authorities and ask them to take me from here. You were going to report me to the Bioethics Oversight Agency (BOA)… an inspector of the Bioethics Oversight Agency (BOA) like me… Don't you think there might be a reason for me being the only human inspector in the BOA, Mr. Lehstorm?"
"How are we to know you're an inspector?" Dr. Lara chimed in from behind.
"It doesn't matter what I am right now. You know this too, Lehstorm. There are only mistakes and opportunities arising from mistakes. I want to ask you this: what if you report me and I turn out to be a real inspector? The only human inspector of the BOA… That name sounds very dangerous. And also, the only human inspector who has been sleeping for 400 years and was suddenly woken up for this mission. I didn't want to give this detail, but I had to."
"You have been sleeping for 400 years, and you were woken up for this mission?"
"Yes…"
"If that's the case, does it mean the institution is in trouble?" asked Lehstorm.
"We don't know what it means. But we can say that the fate of the institution is on my lips…"
"But what if we don't report you and you turn out to be a fraud!" Dr. Lara chimed in from behind.
"I couldn't harm you, so you can let me go, and you won't have lost anything."
"Very logical… Mr…"
"Mr. Mehmet…"
"Alright, Mr. Mehmet… If we don't file a complaint against you and you are an inspector, can you guarantee that you will help us during this audit?"
"As much as I can…" Then I chuckled slightly and added: "…you know how to make a deal with a human very well."
"So can you prove to us that you are an inspector?"
"First, my robot assistant needs to be able to wake up. And I want an apology."
"An apology?"
I turned my finger and pointed at Dr. Lara. "Even though I apologized for the wrong things I said because I thought she was a robot, I want Ms. Lara, who slapped me, to apologize to me."
"What!" Dr. Lara screamed, and it echoed throughout the room. "You disgusting jerk!"
"One more apology!"