"..." She just stares at me for a moment since I'm not saying anything, so she decides to continue.
"...I see in your file that you have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), how are you feeling at the moment?" She asks while holding a pen and a notepad she grabbed.
"...I don't feel anything..." I really don't feel anything at the moment, most of the time I don't feel anything, and if I do, it's very little, although if I think about my sister, I feel a lot of things.
It's precisely because I feel almost nothing that I don't mind killing myself to save my sister, my life is a minimal cost to go back in time and save my beloved sister.
"Nothing at all?" She questions while taking notes on the paper with great professionalism.
"Nothing, not even the slightest thing" I would say that excluding my sister from the equation, I spend 60% of the time not feeling anything, 30% feeling light or small things, and 10% of the time feeling some different stimuli like liking certain foods and feeling some satisfaction when eating them.
Now adding my sister to the equation, I would say that 95% to 100% of the time I feel emotions focused or directed toward her, she occupies a lot of my mind, but of course, I won't tell the psychologist what I feel.
"I understand, so your Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is severe, from what I've seen in your file it's linked to the fact that you were abandoned in childhood and didn't receive good care in the orphanage, it must be difficult to notice that you're different from other children" She speaks, referring to the fact that I'm a "genius" according to what she knows.
"How do you feel about other people, do they make any difference to you in your opinion?" Mizuki speaks in a professional tone, but it's obvious to me that she looks at my breasts more than she looks into my eyes.
"I don't feel anything towards them" She writes something down in the notebook.
"I heard you entered the school in search of a person, is this person special to you?"
"...Yes" I respond only with yes, there's no point in talking too much or they might discover things I don't want them to know.
"From what I can see, your problem requires certain special care...have you ever done something, let's say harmful to yourself or others?"
"...No"
"Hmm...I see" She writes something down again.
"Have you ever felt the urge to kill yourself?" She continues down the same path, probably evaluating my overall profile, it doesn't matter if she's a nymphomaniac, she still has a certificate and diploma as a psychologist and knows how to do her job.
"...No" Well, I've felt the urge to kill myself, it was when I lost my sister, in fact, I was going to kill myself, but I found her diary by pure destiny and thanks to the demon I went back in time.
"..." She jots down a few things for a brief moment and seems to be thinking of a question, probably because of my few reactions, she asks more direct and less evasive questions.
"Have you ever self-harmed or done something to inflict pain on yourself or as self-punishment?"
"No" I've never reached that point, because there are no real benefits in hurting myself, I would only harm myself if it was for the sake of my sister's life.
"I understand, now I'm going to ask a much more serious question...have you ever seriously hurt another person? And would you choose that as an option?" I understand why she's asking this question, the reason is that since I feel almost nothing, the act of harming others is an easier option to choose.
In fact, hurting others has always been an option I've thought about if it's for my sister, and it was thanks to this that I noticed that my love was not normal, by going deeper into it, I realized that normal people don't choose the option of hurting others for those they love.
They tried to solve it in another way, violence is usually not the default choice for someone who is mentally sound, and the act of harming others is more difficult to choose at first, being a secondary or tertiary option.
Becoming easier over time, which is extremely different from me, where violence for the sake of my sister has always been one of the first options, of course, this made me more contained.
Noticing that this is not normal, I tried to avoid this option since my sister wouldn't like it, but now there are no more reasons not to choose this option that will always be a choice I can adopt.
No one else deserves this pity.
"I've never seriously hurt anyone, and I wouldn't choose that option" A lie, in the past it was partially true, but now I will hurt anyone who does something to my sister.
"..." She writes down some more things, I don't know if she believes this lie, but I don't care.
"Okay, let's move on from this heavy topic, let's ask some lighter questions, do you like any animals?"
"..." I usually don't care about animals, although my sister likes them, I don't feel anything for them.
"I like cats" My sister likes cats and I have a demon that always comes as a cat, so I'll just say I like cats.
"That's good, on the extra questionnaire for the exam, you chose your uniform and customization, so we don't need to worry about that part."
"But I need to do a check-up on you, in addition to being a psychologist, I'm also a general practitioner, so I'm qualified for this procedure. I hope you don't see any problems with me touching your body a little." Her tone is professional as she speaks.
However, her gaze doesn't deceive me, she just wants to touch my body as much as possible, since with the excuse of a check-up, she can touch my exposed skin and intimate areas directly without it being a crime.
After all, the general check-up is based on a qualified professional doing something, there are different types of check-ups, but in this case, it's a physical check-up, she will palpate my body in search of abnormalities.
Like diseases, there have been students who discovered they had diseases thanks to the physical check-up at this school, since in this case, they are excellent at discovering slight variations in the body, no matter how small, just through observation and contact.
Of course, in the past, physical exams didn't touch intimate areas, but it so happens that in this school, everyone is an adult and as such, sex is even allowed as long as it's not something explicit like inviting various partners, etc.
But a boyfriend and girlfriend can have sex, as there are couple programs and others, and as long as they use protection to avoid pregnancy, there are no major problems.
Since for the human body, sex really helps in some points and the school doesn't inhibit something that helps the body, but since sex, among other things, is free since everyone is an adult, several verifications become almost mandatory.
Like to discovering past diseases through sexual acts, breast cancer and among various other diseases that can only be discovered during a physical check-up.
What Mizuki is going to do is just a basic physical exam, but going forward, I'll need to do a complete one with blood collection, X-rays, and many other things to prove my health.
Since there are classes that sick students cannot take because it is problematic for them, but the point of all this is that since touch is allowed in the physical exam, Mizuki uses this to grope the girls as much as possible.
Of course, within a medical limit, as I've heard of cases of girls she's touched in their genitals, but she's never inserted her fingers in them, leaving a certain medical limit between patient and doctor.
"...Do you feel uncomfortable?" Mizuki asks, looking at my expression, my expression towards her is one of disgust, which is not normal since I'm good at hiding my expression normally.
"...Yes" I respond with some uncertainty, I didn't want to show disgust, and this is quite unusual for me.
I'm not sure, but the prospect of her touching my body is disgusting, repulsive, and repugnant as if they were asking me to let insects crawl on my skin.
Just the prospect of her touching my body disgusts me greatly, which is a little strange, in the past, I never liked being touched much beyond my sister, but this now seems to have increased.
To the point where the mere prospect of being touched disgusts me, as if larvae or worms were trying to touch my skin, it's extremely repugnant, causing my body to shiver and making me feel uncomfortable.
"Setsuna, could you say exactly what you're feeling, be honest" Mizuki asks without anger, while seeming interested. I decide to be honest about the feeling of physical contact.
"It's as if just the prospect of being touched is disgusting, like insects crawling on my skin, it's uncomfortable" This is not just with Mizuki, in fact, I feel this way towards everyone.
The act of someone trying to touch me too much disgusts me, and just thinking about it also makes me uncomfortable. I don't have problems with things like a handshake, but if they try to touch my body like when that guy held my waist, I feel discomfort.
When that guy held my waist to take me to the alley, I felt uncomfortable, of course, it wasn't something extreme since he only touched my clothes without direct skin contact and it was for a short time, and I knew I would end up with him.
And in more severe cases, like Mizuki wanting to touch my breasts and intimate areas, an instinctive disgust and strange repulsion comes to me.
"...I see, it seems you have an extreme aversion to direct physical contact, probably due to hypersensitivity in your skin, it can be called Selective or Passive Tactile Hypersensitivity, which functions as a defense."
"Like an automatic programming of your body to avoid things...I deduce that you don't have problems touching others, or having light touches, correct? And your skin must be sensitive, right?"
"Yes...my skin is sensitive, and I don't see any problems with basic touches like a handshake" I respond to her honestly.
"Well, it shouldn't affect your daily life, as long as no one tries to force themselves on you too much..." She speaks professionally.
'An automatic response of the brain...' It probably comes from the fact that I only accept my sister as someone who can touch me freely, and as the psychologist said, my body is currently very sensitive to touch.
"...I'll try to reduce contact with your body, try to endure it, okay? I'll put in your file that you have this problem and your class will be pre-warned to avoid touching you intrusively" Mizuki says as she writes down the things she discovered.
'Tsk...another mental problem...' I'm really unlucky, but I didn't have this problem before, so it was the fault of this new female body, turning into a girl made me more protective of my own body, and that combined with the sensitivity triggered this problem.
But honestly, I don't care that much since the only one I want to touch me is my sister.
"Okay, psychologist can touch my body briefly" At least with this, to try to maintain professionalism, she will reduce how much she touches me, which is good since I didn't want to be touched too much.
"Setsuna, I recommend you use gloves" Mizuki says while putting on gloves to do a physical check-up on me.
"Gloves? Why?"
"Maybe it will help you, your skin must be sensitive, right? Using gloves may help you reduce your general contact with everything."
'I'm not going to wear gloves' There's no reason to, so I won't start wearing gloves, it's not even such a serious problem as long as they don't keep trying to touch me.
"No need, psychologist, I'll stay without gloves."
"You can call me just Mizuki, Setsuna" She says, addressing me by name as if we were acquainted.