I'm stumbling, I can't see straight
And it's my fault I got this way
I got my hands on something great
And found a way to mess it all up
I did my best, I tried to change
But it's just in my DNA
I got my hands on something great
And found a way to f*ck it up again
Now I'm the one thing
You couldn't hate more
But you're the one thing
That I would die for
All my life, I was told
I was never nothing special
I don't need to be reminded of it
Every other second
'Specially when all my self-esteem's
Already shot the hell up
I'm fallin' helplessly, I'm embarrassed
And I don't want no one else to see
'Cause I feel like I'm a piece of shit
Every time she yells at me
Selfishly indeed
Definitely doesn't help that she
Makes me feel like I've died and gone to heaven
But makes life a living hell for me
She does that thing with her lip
Now she's melting me
I'm putty in her palms
I'm wrapped around her finger
A yo-yo on a string
She lets me sit there and just dangle
Until something better comes along
And she'll just drop me like a hot potato
I look like I'm in pain
But I'm okay, though
'Cause I know she loves me
My friends, what do they know?
It's like I'm drowning at sea
Hoping that you reach for me
I know you're there but I can't see
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
I'm dying to breathe
And all you do is strangle me
Such a beautiful relief
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
Drunk off tragic endings
In my moments of weakness
I openly admit this shit, I wouldn't normally
I'm extremely self-conscious
And enormously
Insecure and she uses it to torture
When she torments me
It only turns to ammunition for her
In this war
When she gets going, she don't stop
When I'm up, she's like a downer
When I found her
It was love at first encounter
Plus, somehow, she must've took the carton
Of eggs off the counter
Cracked them and placed all the shells on the ground
For me to walk on when I'm around her
But there's just something 'bout her
That makes me not able to function without her
How can I get out of it
When I don't know how to?
I'm a doubter, I'm a pessimist
Make a believer out of me
And show me the way now
Or stay the f*ck out of my cloud of rain
'Cause I'm going straight down the drain
I'm drowning
It's like I'm drowning at sea
Hoping that you reach for me
I know you're there but I can't see
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
I'm dying to breathe
And all you do is strangle me
Such a beautiful relief
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
Drunk off tragic endings
Now I'm the one thing
You couldn't hate more
But you're the one thing
That I would die for
It took a while for me to get it
But I think I've figured it out
She don't want me, she just don't wanna
See me with someone else
The idea of seeing me happy
Destroys her in itself
To see me falling to pieces
Brings her joy, brings her hell
But it annoys her to see me
Get this straight, then say "screw her"
I threw up on myself, I'm dumb sick
I'm addicted to her
She's tryna block the door
So here's how I do her
Since I'm manure, she's a sewer
This time, this piece of shit's running through her
I can see the light now, I'm running to it
What the f*ck? Should've knew it
Who would think she'd actually have the balls to do it?
As soon as I hopped in it, she doused the car with lighter fluid
She's standing there with a rag, 'bout to put the lighter to it
Lit the fucking thing on fire, then she threw it
It's like I'm drowning at sea
Hoping that you reach for me
I know you're there but I can't see
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
I'm dying to breathe
And all you do is strangle me
Such a beautiful relief
'Cause I'm so drunk off tragic endings
Drunk off tragic endings
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Feeling kinky, lip syncing to Too $hort's
Freaky tales (Biatch!)
Having creepy visions of whiskey drinking
Envisioning sneaking into where Christie Brinkley dwells
I know this is risky thinking, but I wanna stick her like she decals
But when murdering females, better pay attention to these details
Or you could be derailed
Better wear at least three layers of clothing or be in jail
If you get scratched because your DNA'll be all up under her fingernails
Man, he hears you, I don't think he cares
He gives a f*ck, even his pinky swears
Three personalities bursting outta me, please, beware
Her TV blares, can't hear the creaking stairs
She's unaware in no underwear, she's completely bare
Turns around and screams, I remember distinctly
I said "I'm here to do sink repairs"
Chop her up, put her body parts in front of Steven Avery's trailer
And leave 'em there
But, hey, man, I was framed
I know what this looks like, officers, please give me one minute
I think I can explain
I ain't murder nobody, I know these words are so nutty
But I'm just here to entertain
How come your shirt is so bloody?
There's a missing person, so what, it's nothing to do with me
I'm almost certain I was framed
Woke up, it was dawn, musta knew something was wrong
Think I'm becoming monster 'cause of the drugs that I'm on
Donald Duck's on, there's a Tonka Truck in the yard
But, dog, how the f*ck is Ivanka Trump in the trunk of my car?
Gotta get to the bottom of it, to try to solve it
Must go above and beyond
'Cause it's incumbent upon
Me, plus I feel somewhat responsible for the dumb little blonde girl
The motherfuckin' baton twirler that got dumped in the pond
Second murder with no recollection of it
Collecting newspaper articles, cutting up seconds from it
Memory's too fucked to remember, destructive temper cut my public defender's
Jugular, then stuck up in the blender
Another dismembered toddler
Discovered this winter probably
'Cause the disassembled body
Was covered up in the snow since the month of November oddly
I'm wanted for questioning
Them son of a bitches probably just wanna pin this on me
But, hey, man, I was framed
I know what this looks like, officers, please give me one minute
I think I can explain
I ain't murder nobody, I know these words are so nutty
But I'm just here to entertain
How come your shirt is so bloody?
There's a missing person, so what, it's nothing to do with me
I'm almost certain I was framed
Still on the loose, they
Spotted me inside McDonald's Tuesday
In a Toronto Blue Jays cap looking like your college roommate
With Rihanna, Lupe, Saddam Hussein, Bobby Boucher
Or was it Cool J? The cops is on a goose chase
Just escaped from the state pen, for raping eight women who hate men
Don't make it no weirder, I'm naked when I break in your basement
Under your baby's playpen, I lay in wait, adjacent facing the door remaining patient
While staying complacent, blatant
Sexual implications are continuing to get thrown
Insinuations are placed in little riddles and poems
Left on your pillow, in hopes that when you get home
You'll get the hint ho, I'm in your window
But it never occurred to me
I could describe a murder scene in a verse
And be charged with first degree
'Cause it just happened to match up perfectly
With the massacre or the Burger King burglary
No officer, you see I was framed
I know what this looks like, officers, please just give me one minute
I think I can explain
I ain't murder nobody, I know these words are so nutty
But I'm just here to entertain
How come your shirt is so bloody?
There's a missing person, so what, it's nothing to do with me
I'm almost certain I was framed
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You claim if you get knocked by the cops
You'll give 'em not even a statement
Walk in the arraignment, shoot the bailiff
Karate kick the plaintiff
Gotti with the stainless
I'll just call it shotty entertainment
If y'all was in the party gettin' faded
On molly, had the audience sedated
You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted
Probably let it fall and hit the pavement
But you'd be the first lobbyin' to claim it
Bitch, stop bein' a lame
Your hobby isn't robbery and dismemberin' body limbs
Like you was Tommy Lynn Sells
And chainsawing them in the basement
Hardly fits your job description
Ain't nobody dippin' out the back of the club like, "Oh my God, he's trippin'"
Only time you get the blade is probably with the dang lawn equipment, ain't it?
Wouldn't take a bobby pin and wave it
I need to stop bein' debated
You're still copyin', Xeroxing, I'm still coppin' a feel
Like Bill Cosby at will, popping a pill then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee
Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil' wobbly and still groggy
This blonde fucks reprehensible misconducts, never sensible
Kiss my butt, my set of principles is gone
But 'til I get the President to respond
My pen and pencil is a missile launcher
And send it to Mitch McConnell
Just as big of a bitch as Donald
Shit's on, bruh
Let me sing this shit soprano
While I do it pizzicato
Ivanka, stiff arm her
While I'm hittin' on Melania
And this song's for all ya
'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms (I hope you offended)
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I'ma make you eat your words (I hope you offended)
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
'Cause you're only gonna make things worse (I hope you offended)
'Cause I pray when I get up I'm never gonna let up
'Til everybody eats my turds
These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me
Like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery
Goin' ham at candy yam on nanny cam
I'm gettin' handys with the Xanny Xannys in the Caddy armrest
I'm imagining objects, so I'm batting cobwebs
From a daddy longleg
In Hamtramck, got the panoramic camera
Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat
I'm smellin' like a damn mechanic
With a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent
Twice your age and I'm actin' half it
Grow up? Nah
Not that I know of, y'all
Basement just got a frickin' overhaul, got a stripper pole installed
Started rollin' all through those Kolonopins like a bowlin' ball
Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol and go through no withdrawal
While I get fellatio and give a facial to an interracial blow-up doll, a Rachel Dolezal
You're so appalled, (Em) so's my manager
Bitch I'm amateur, f*ck a pro career
Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here
And nobody's close, so don't compare
They ain't nowhere near, I'm way over here
My competition can't see me
'Cause I don't own a mirror
But Marshall, you are terrific, so smart and gifted
I'm so narcissistic, when I fart, I sniff it
Do a fake dab to smell my armpits with it
Your anxiety's throwin' gang signs
But I made strides with these rape lines
I'm cuttin' back on women hate crimes
Like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes
Bang, bang, bang, bang time
Dang knives to butcher them gay wives
You're gonna need sutures the same size
As the blade I push in to kaputt you when I
Pull 'em like, sleigh rides
Gotta stab a bitch at least eight times
To make it on Dateline
And I came to stake my claim like a canine
Waitin' in a buffet line
So Kellyanne Conway, I'm a really bad hombre
Come play, belly dance on me
I've been making wedding plans all day
'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms (I hope you offended)
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I'ma make you eat your words (I hope you offended)
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
'Cause you're only gonna make things worse (I hope you offended)
'Cause I pray when I get up I'm never gonna let up
'Til everybody eats my turds
Eight year old with the wordplay
Girl, take this pole like a survey
Today wasn't my birthday
But I'm caked up like a dessert tray
So we're in shape
'Cause you're in a slurrin' state
I'm a 10, you're an 8
Like what I do before, after, and during rape
You wanna get into a pissin' contest and find out who's better?
And they made a fool out of what I pulled out him
R. Kelly with a full bladder
Not in high school, grad, I'm not a scholar
But I'm so cold that I'm droppin' out with my degrees
It's the same as I got in college (zero)
But nobody's hotter, you owe me my respect
I owe you nada like lodi partner, blow me
Told you I'm so dirty, homie you can throw me in some holy water
With some floaties on
And get to soakin', try to get to poke the hole in
While you hose me off, and nope I won't be washed
You hope to God I don't explode, I gotta blow this spot up, though
I got a lotta more
I won't put the sugar coating on it though
'Cause sometimes you can feel like your energy's expired
Rap's got you drained, dead tired, zapped
You feel like a wet pile of crap
But look, man, like the feds buggin' my phone, uh huh
I get why you're tapped
But you gotta get your fire back
Catch fire, get upset and fire back
Is what I tell myself
When times get bad
'Cause sometimes I might get sad
But I take the same advice I had
And tell myself like I used to tell Hailie, when life's a drag
Told her to do like her dad, don't cry, get mad
'Cause little baby powders belong in diaper bags
I'm hyper, by the time you see this side of me
I'm right in your ass
Foot up it, I stood up for the kid who had to put up with the bullies at his school (at his school)
You ain't have to have no money or go shoppin' just to cop a fuckin' attitude
Now my dough's amountin' to a mountain, it's rised too high to count it
Never asked to be rich, all I did was wish I had a dime for every time that I was doubted
But then I think about it and I'm enraged
'Cause I just figured out that if I was paid
For the time I spent to put the pen to the page
It'd be minimum wage
But it's embedded in my head, I never hunted for the bread
And what I wanted was to be the one that they was scared of
But I'm never gonna get the credit for the sweat and blood I put up in the pen
And when I'm dead I wonder will they put me on a pedestal
Or forget I was ever this incredible
I guess I better go harder than ever 'cause I'll never get
Another mothafuckin' opportunity again
To offend as many people with this I can, simply
Because, I can
'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms (I hope you offended)
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I'ma make you eat your words (I hope you offended)
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
'Cause you're only gonna make things worse (I hope you offended)
'Cause I pray when I get up I'm never gonna let up
'Til everybody eats my turds
Sheet Music PDF
Written by: Charles Edward Bradley, David
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