The room was eerily silent as the instructor distributed the test papers. The atmosphere grew heavier with every tick of the clock. Not a single person dared to move; her eyes darted and scanned each one of us, roaming through every corner of the classroom.
All of us were focused solely on the test papers. My eyes landed on a particular question in the lower‑left section—an identification item. Suddenly, my mind went blank.
"Why does this question feel so familiar?" I muttered to myself.
"I studied so hard… and now this?" I whispered in frustration, shaking my head. "Ah, of course it's familiar!"
"This familiar feeling… it's going nowhere good. It's just leading me straight into nothing. Not okay. I can't do this."
"It makes me say it out of pure hopelessness—'It is… what it is.' This… this is gaslighting yourself at its finest." I dramatically sighed.
The instructor allowed us to write tentative answers on the back sheet. I quickly jotted down everything I could remember from last night's study session—from terms and definitions to the keywords and mnemonics I made.
A few minutes passed, and my eyes wandered to the white walls and ceiling. I traced the information in the air, trying to remember whether it was on the left or right, top or bottom of my notes.
It was intense, but thankfully, I managed to answer the questions. The only problem now was: were my answers correct? That thought lingered, leaving me overthinking for a while.
Right after answering those not‑so‑brutal tests, I went outside along with my classmates. We sat in the hallway with an untranslatable look and began discussing our answers, which made me even more anxious… because none of my answers matched theirs. It made me want to punch a wall.
A moment later, we began checking the papers. I could feel my heart pounding at a higher BPM, my chest growing heavier with every second.
"Anxiety took the maneuver again," I muttered to myself.
Each item was a mix of nervousness and weird excitement. A wave of regret washed over me when one item was marked wrong. Honestly, I hated it when I listened to my second thoughts instead of my first instinct. Even though I kept getting scammed by my own overthinking, I still hadn't learned my lesson.
"I've never been this dumb before!" I scolded myself.