By the next morning, the entire village had transformed.
Everything still looked partially damaged, slightly lopsided, and spiritually exhausted.
But socially?
A wildfire of rumors had ignited.
The moment Yue and I stepped outside the small lodging they offered us, whispers spread faster than a divine plague.
"There! It's him the Disaster God!"
"Shhh! Don't say it too loudly! He might sneeze and blow away the houses!"
"His assistant is the real boss."
"She flicked a demon beast into a mountain!"
"I heard the beast apologized to her spirit."
Yue stood beside me, sipping tea, completely unfazed.
"Interesting," I said. "They have given me a title."
She nodded. "Congratulations, Master. You are now officially… a walking catastrophe."
"I prefer 'Divine Agent of Unexpected Events.'"
"They don't."
A group of villagers cautiously approached, bowing deeply.
"O-omnipotent being of accidental destruction…"
"…and serene goddess who prevents the end of the world…"
Yue choked on her tea. "Who? Me?!"
They nodded vigorously.
"Yes, Lady Yue."
"You protected us all!"
"You are the calm that tames the storm!"
"The gentle hand that disciplines the chaos!"
Yue's eye twitched. "Discipline? CHAOS?! Who taught you these words?!"
I cleared my throat. "Let them speak. I enjoy this phrasing."
The villagers continued.
"We wish to reward you both!"
Yue held up a hand quickly. "Please don't give him ANYTHING volatile, sharp, magical, heavy"
But they already had a basket prepared.
And inside it…
A single loaf of bread.
Yue froze.
"…Why bread?"
A villager whispered, "Because you destroyed the baker's ceiling. And we… wanted to give you a safe item."
"Safe" I repeated. "Bread is harmless."
Yue grabbed the basket like it was a bomb. "MASTER, DO NOT TOUCH IT."
I raised a brow. "I cannot be untrusted with bread."
"You launched dough into orbit yesterday."
"When?."
"That was YESTERDAY."
Before I could defend myself further, an older man approached tall, grey-bearded, and carrying the aura of someone who thought before speaking.
Village Chief.
He bowed deeply. "Great Immortals, I come to deliver urgent news."
"What is it?" I said
He smiled nervously. "Your reputation has already reached the nearby towns."
Yue stiffened. "WHAT?!"
He continued.
"A traveling merchant spread word of a mighty immortal who destroys everything he touches, and his calm, beautiful attendant who keeps him from annihilating entire civilizations."
Yue buried her face in her hands. "No. No, no, no…"
I nodded thoughtfully. "I like this merchant. He understands correctly."
The chief swallowed. "Because of these rumors… other villages are requesting your presence."
The villagers around him murmured
"Maybe they need miracles!"
"No, maybe they need someone to scare their enemies!"
"Or frighten their crops into growing!"
"Or flatten their mountains!"
Yue pointed accusingly at me. "MASTER! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"
"It is not my responsibility that mortals misunderstand my refined presence."
"Refined?! You terrifying them!"
The chief bowed again. "Please, if you depart, may we announce you officially? You would become honored guests across the region."
I folded my arms. "I seek excitement. And it appears rumors will bring it directly to me."
Yue sighed. Deeply. Eternally. "Master… this is backwards. We travel quietly and attract no attention. That's the rule."
"That was your rule."
"Yes. And it is a GOOD rule!"
The villagers leaned forward tensely, waiting for the decision of two beings who could, in their minds, instantly reshape the continent.
I smiled. "Very well. We shall travel."
The villagers erupted into cheers.
Yue looked horrified. "MASTER!"
I faced her. "Yue. Surely you understand. I came to the mortal world for, to get rid of my boring life and to seek excitement. Rumors are simply assisting my quest."
"But rumors attract problems!"
"Good" I said. "Problems are equal excitement."
She stared at me like someone who had aged two hundred years in two seconds.
"Fine," she muttered. "If disaster follows you, I will follow to clean it."
"That is appreciated."
"It is NOT APPRECIATED, MASTER!"
But it was decided.
We left the village with villagers waving cloths, throwing flowers, and shouting blessings and warnings.
"Visit again!"
"But don't touch anything!"
"Lady Yue, keep him under control!"
"Please no more divine accidents!"
Yue dragged me down the road before I could reply.
As the village disappeared behind us, she sighed.
"Master… you realize we now have a reputation."
"Yes."
"A terrifying reputation."
"Yes."
"A disastrously accurate reputation."
"…Yes."
"I swear, the next place we visit better not be expecting you to fix anything." Yue muttered.
I smiled. "Yue, when have I eve–"
BOOM.
A distant explosion echoed from the direction of the next town.
Smoke rose on the horizon.
Yue froze.
"…Master?"
"I did nothing," I said immediately.
Her eyes narrowed. "We haven't even arrived yet."
"Exactly."
She exhaled slowly. "This is going to be a long journey."
I clasped my hands behind my back and continued walking with calm confidence.
The rumors had begun.
And the excitement was only starting.