Imet Robin five years ago exactly on this day, I know because Shama died five years ago on this day. I was at the morgue and so was he.
He was more sturdy and put together back then, only now he is a coughing aging man. The deal was simple, I would work for him and he wouldn't stop me when I needed to take a break, and he agreed. Our paths crossed on the worst day of our lives, he had lost his only daughter and I had lost Shama, we both had to identify our respective corpses and we did, he stumbled out shaking and his milky white skin had turned red, I trailed right behind him, walking on and on, when we arrived at the exit, I figured I had no where to go, so I simply followed him as he stumbled on and on.
When he finally collapsed to the floor, the sun had gone down and the bugs of the night were making their presence known in lyrical chimes. He stumbled to the floor and let out a chuckle, I stood behind him and took a sit not far from him.
He chuckled again, then laughed then banged his fists on raw sand, he looked deranged but only if anyone else was here to see him, we had walked to a secluded field. He screamed and screamed and punched and trashed around, I watched.
I don't know how much time passed, but when I reached awareness again the world was much more quiet and dark, so it must have been pretty late. When he finally stood up from the ground, he turned around, finally noticing that he wasn't alone.
"What are you doing here?" He asked quietly
I didn't feel like answering, but I hadn't said anything all day and my throat felt heavy.
"If you tell me, I'll tell you" The voice was quite small and hoarse, probably because I hadn't used it for a while, but it was mine.
"I needed to process all of this...Imagine the world losing the sun, my sun is gone, so I lost my mind for a while" He told me trying to sound put together, but really all I was hearing was an arranged figure masking derangement.
"I have no where to go, and you seem like you also didn't know where to go, yet you kept walking, so I followed you" He looked at me more intently, then he walked up to me.
"I have a small cafe, and we will need more help, if you want, you can come work with me, there is a small room where you can stay " I think about his offer for a while..
"I will come, but whenever I have to leave, you can't stop me, if that's fine, then thank you" I tell him.
"Okay, let's go" He stands up and begins to walk, and once again, I followed him. He was 45 years old, and I was 18.
And five years have passed since that day.
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The recurring realization about this world we live in, is the fact that no one is really that important, no matter how wonderful you might be or seem, no matter how you might try to beat all the odds stacked against you, if anything were to happen to you today, the world would continue moving even long after you are gone, like nothing ever happened.
And this might be sad on some days, but it's something you might come to terms with eventually, but you know what I absolutely can't ***** take — it's that someone can destroy someone else's life, ruin all hopes and dreams they ever could hold and go on living like nothing ever happened, like nothing happened— I can take the world's dismissal of my being and suffering, but I haven't learnt how to patiently wait for Karma to do her job, if karma won't be a bitch, might as well help her out.
"Callum....where are you?" A young man who is neatly dressed, tall, elegant, graceful and easy on the eyes calls out with a smile on his face, as he paces around the park, searching for his son.
The boy is in my view and honestly in everyone's view but the man pretends not to see him in his obvious hiding position, the boy chuckles and holds tightly to his legs, looking and chuckling, believing himself to be a genius who has hidden himself so well, his father cannot find him.
They go on and about for a while, the boy hiding and chuckling while the father paces and calls out to him, searching everywhere but where the boy actually is. The interaction is what you would call cute, and I would too, if only I didn't know what lays behind that two faced smiling figure.
An equally elegant, mesmerizing woman walks up to them with a huge smile on her face, She embodies what you would describe as privileged, She looked like she had never spent a day worrying in her entire life, like she only knew hunger as a word and not an actual feeling, her eyes looked Immensely kind and her lips curled up in innocence and naivety. She walked slowly to the man as she wrapped her arms around his neck, in anticipation he also placed his hand on he waist drawing her closer, they dived in for a long, passionate kiss.
The boy leaving his hiding spot, excitedly runs to the woman, as he runs in full height, he is noticeably around 6 years old, he tugs on her dress interrupting their kiss, lifting his hands upwards waiting to be carried.
"Cal....my love" she says as she carries him up.
"Momm....you smell like candy " He says in a candy like voice and they both chuckle.
They play around for a while, laughing, chuckling and running, the picture was truly cute and enviable, almost like they were the only ones present and every other person was a prop. It was a beautiful sight, and even slightly I wanted it to be real, just a normal proud father and man, with his beautiful wife and their son, but i knew, I knew that it wasn't true. The man stepped away to make a call and the lady lifts her son up to the swing, back and forth they went, they would swing on and on happily, and the boy would chuckle everytime he was launched into the air, while his mother smiled as she softly received him back before swinging him again, carefully, with just enough force to launch him up but not too much that he would fall. The man returns after a while and they pack up to go.
I don't pay much attention to what they say as they walk towards the exit to their car.
For a while, all I have done is watch and observe and it's enough, Atleast for now.
I pace around the park before finally settling down on a bench, as the sun starts to hide behind the clouds, the weather is cold, people are scurrying inside, afraid to get wet, the clouds are ashy and grey, the wind seems like it might just win on gravity and carry me of to the land of dreams, but alas, even the wind doesn't mind me, it flirts a little with my hair, and slaps some strands to my face, the skies look like it might rain and overall the feeling is like the world is about to end....Just as I like it.
I remember that I used to like playing the swing too a while back, I enjoyed how it felt like I was flying, but more than that, it was how you would continue swinging back and forth till I said to stop, I would close my eyes because I knew you wouldn't let me fall, back and forth we would go, until I was satisfied, you would continue regardless if your hands hurt or not. That feeling was safety, freedom and peace, and I realize that every instance that I have gotten of this feeling was from you, but I wonder if you ever felt it too.
I have my jacket on, but the cold continues to sweep in from my heart, I have grown to like it, any feeling is appreciated. I can't feel my fingers well enough, the wind dances with fallen leaves, and it might rain, but I won't leave, no one is around anyway which makes it all the more better, they have all gone inside to hide from the coming downpour. But they'll all be safe, the only person who should hope to God that he finds a good hiding spot is the elegant looking man, the one who always has a smile on his face and laughter as his shadow— I hope he hides better than his son, because after all of this time, I finally feel like chasing, and we all know, that chasing is only fun when the prey runs well enough.
I swing myself as the first drops of rain begin to hit the ground