Cowboy Twink signals with his fingers to follow him.
Instead of going to the poker tables, he leads us towards an ominous corner.
"Hey, uh, Cowboy Twink? Why are we going over here?"
"Don't worry about it, sugar tits. We're almost there."
Cowboy Twink walks us through every nook and cranny of the casino like a stupid tour guide that needs a tour guide.
It wasn't that bad though since there were strippers shaking ass everywhere you look. Pretty nice if you ask me.
After a few minutes of walking, we arrive in a white room with nothing inside.
I look around the room. There really is nothing, not even a single chair. It's just a white room, probably padded on the outside to prevent noise from coming in.
"Hey Cowboy Twink, you're not kidnapping us right? I mean, I'm like thirty, dude. I'd say that most of my organs are pretty dookie from drinking Dr. Pepper everyday. Not exactly a top seller."
Cowboy Twink slaps my face. "Shut up boy. I can tell you're like me. I brought you lot out here for privacy. This room is where the casino VIP's go to discuss political matters and whatnot."
"You're no VIP, how'd you find this room?"
Cowboy Twink slaps my face again. "I am a VIP, you shit nugget. I just got promoted recently. Anyways, I could sense the Glory oozing out of you. Who exactly are you two?"
Glory? What the heck is that?
I try to slap Cowboy Twink but he ends up dodging my hand.
"What was that for?" Cowboy Twink cries out.
"You just fucking slapped me twice with your twink hands!"
Cowboy Twink fixes his cowboy hat.
"I see, you haven't got a clue about the Glory. I guess I'll explain it to you."
I glance over at Mr. Narrator and he doesn't look confused at all. Maybe it's a hot guy thing.
Cowboy Twink explains, "Every now and then, some humans go through a metamorphosis."
"Like a butterfly?"
"Yes, dipshit. Like a butterfly. This metamorphosis usually derives out of necessity. An individual will realize their personal struggle and develop powers that aid them in escaping it. But most of the time, the user also plans on also achieving their dreams. Does that ring a bell?"
I think for a second. "Aha! Like that one time when I got fired for establishing dominance in my boring life!"
Cowboy Twink sighs. "Yeah something like that. In that specific moment, your body transformed into a tool suited to use Glory."
"Wait so I have cool powers. Like… like… a main character?!"
"Well you should. I could smell your Glory as soon as you stepped into Wet Dreams."
"Soooo… How do I use this power?"
"Well it should always be on. It's sort of like a passive ability."
"Hmm… it's been like two days since I got fired. Nothing crazy has happened. Well, I did get beat up by a thug pretty badly."
Cowboy Twink thinks for a moment. "Now that I think about it, I can't smell the Glory from you anymore. Maybe I was wrong."
"Maybe cus you suck! Hah!"
Cowboy Twink slaps me for a third time.
"Okay jeez. Sorry. Maybe I can figure it out with an example. What does your Glory do?"
"It's quite simple really. My Glory guarantees a win when I gamble. However, I need to lose 100 times in a row before I get that guaranteed win."
"Aren't you losing more than you win then?"
"Well, I've figured out that each loss needs to lose more money than the previous loss. In other words, my first loss of one cent has to be followed by a loss of two cents and so on."
"Hmm… I think I smell bullshit. Perhaps someone here has been smoking too much pot."
"Nah sir, the shit they got in here tastes like ass. Like donkey ass."
I start sweating a bit. "Damn, it's kinda hot in here."
"Really? Maybe you're just a fatass!"
Mr. Narrator looks over at me and raises an eyebrow.
"What are you lookin' at! Just because you're a cutie doesn't mean I won't beat your ass. Or lick it."
Cowboy Twink grabs me and starts sniffing me like a puppy.
"What the helly? Get off me bro!"
"Hey! Stand still, boy. I smell your Glory now. I think… it's coming from your sweat?"
"What? That makes zero sense. I'm sweaty like 90% of the time and nothing happens. Just a tad bit of B.O."
"Yeah you're right. You smell like ballsacks and butt. But you also smell like Glory."
Cowboy Twink touches the nape of my neck and his hand slides off from the sweat.
Abruptly, Cowboy Twink starts spasming.
"Holy shit! Is my power putting people into fucking seizures!"
Mr. Narrator analyzes the situation calmly.
"I believe that your Glory has affected him. Cowboy Twink's body is having a hard time adjusting to your Glory," Mr. Narrator elaborates.
"Huh, I didn't know you were hot and smart. But I have a feeling that my sweat has something to do with it."
Cowboy Twink stops spasming. He stands up weakly.
"Well that's interesting. It appears that you've altered my Glory."
"How so?" Mr. Narrator asks.
"Well usually I see a big ass number in front of me that tells me how many losses I have. There's also another number that tells me how many more losses I need. Before I touched Bubba, I needed 48 more losses. Now it's down to 24."
"Woah," I moan, "I just helped you save some money."
Cowboy Twink reaches his hand towards me again. "Let me get some more of that sweat, sugar tits."
Before Cowboy Twink can reach my sweaty neck, Mr. Narrator grabs his arm.
Mr. Narrator explains, "I think I understand now. Touching Bubba's sweat doubles the speed of Glory abilities. Based on your body's initial reaction, another dosage of Bubba's sweat will be lethal. The acceleration is a lot for your body to handle."
"I see. Not bad, fellow twink. I think I've got an idea," Cowboy Twink remarks.
I chuckle, "I think I got one too…"
We yell in unison, "It's time to gamble!"