Well, well, well. Today is the first day of my life as the main character. Heh, nothing can stop me now! Not even my boss because that loser doesn't employ me anymore.
What should I do today? Hmm. Now that I have a narrator, all I need is a newfound power that makes me OP. I live on a normal planet, so I shouldn't expect some LitRPG or magical bullshit to appear in my life. Also, the monks in Los Angeles are probably normal monks who don't know how to cultivate.
Who cares? Maybe I don't need OP powers. Some main characters like Daniel Park are just hot. Wait no, can't he switch bodies? Plus he's cool as hell.
I guess I could join a gang and become a delinquent like in those cool Webtoons. Wait, that's not a bad idea.
***
*10 minutes later*
Alright, how about no gangs. I just went up to this thug-looking guy who was smoking and got my ass kicked. He said I looked funny. Initially, I thought he meant that I was looking at him funny. But now I realize that he beat the shit out of me because my face looked funny.
Seriously? I didn't even say anything to him. There's no way my face looks stupid enough to get beat up for.
I see Mr. Narrator walk towards me with his hands in his pockets.
Look at his stupid, smug face. If I had such a sexy body, I bet that thug would fear me, or even be attracted to me. Man, it's such a luxury being hot.
"Hello, Bubba!" Mr. Narrator exclaims. "What happened to your face... and your clothes? How come everything's all beaten up and ripped?"
He's right, that thug guy beat the shit out of me and stole my wallet. He didn't even bother running away. He just casually walked away and continued smoking.
I gulp. "Uhh... nothing! It's just a fashion thing, not like you would know unc!"
The truth is that I'm probably older than Mr. Narrator, but he speaks in such a mature tone, and he acts like my grandpa, so it feels like he's much older than he seems.
Mr. Narrator starts to frown a bit. "I see. Shall we begin your narration?"
I grin. "Heh, I guess I wouldn't mind some main character action."
Mr. Narrator clears his throat. "This is the beginning of Bubba's legendary tale. Join him in the search for greatness, and reach beyond the stars!"
"What the helly?" I blurt out, "Why does it sound like you got a dildo up your ass? I mean, you usually sound all high and mighty, but it sounds extra pretentious. You know what? Just keep going."
"Bubba questions the tone of his narration with a grain of salt. Perhaps he is a bit moody at the moment."
I shrug off his sassy comments like an alpha.
"Anyways, it's about time I reveal my grand plan to achieve greatness."
"Whatever could it be? What does Bubba plan to attempt on his journey for greatness?"
I smirk. "Heh. I thought you'd never ask. I'm going to gamble my life savings away and become rich!"
"Gambling?" Mr. Narrator questions.
"Yes, you heard me right. We're right now in downtown LA where they got all kinds of good stuff. You know, like sex, money, and… I guess drugs? But hey, hear me out. I'll be able to make freaking millions of dollars and become one of those wealthy CEO bosses in like K-dramas and stuff."
Mr. Narrator breaks character. "Very ambitious, but what would be your backup plan if you end up losing?"
"There is no backup plan. If I lose, I'll return to my pathetic life and beg out on the streets. It would just prove that I don't have what it takes to become the main character. But if I win, my whole life would be set. I would become a corporate boss with a romance complex and have multiple hot chicks begging to have a slice of my moolah. And then I'll marry the hottest chick and die peacefully knowing that I was at the pinnacle of success."
Mr. Narrator stands perfectly still in place, analyzing every word that just came out of my mouth.
He continues narrating. "Ah yes, Bubba has placed a heavy bet on becoming the main character. Will he face death or will he be one step closer to becoming the main character? Onwards, we continue to the casino!"
I interrupt Mr. Narrator. "Woah, woah, woah. This ain't no normal casino. This is the greatest, biggest, most underground casino in the whole world!"
"Ah, I see." Mr. Narrator ponders, "Bubba plans on tackling a great casino!"
"Nuh uh," I exclaim, "This is a hybrid casino, meaning that half of it is a strip club and the other half is a casino! This is where all the high rollers gamble at. And also where the hottest asses go!"
Mr. Narrator looks concerned. "Shall we proceed?"
"Heck yeah!"
***
*1 hour later, at the casino*
Aw shit. I forgot that I don't have a car. I assumed that Mr. Narrator had a car but I guess not. We ended up walking like gazillion miles :(
There's sweat running down all over my body like a salty waterfall. I look over at Mr. Narrator and he doesn't look tired at all.
Damn, maybe being hot also makes you immune to fatigue.
But it's whatever, none of this will matter when I become a millionaire corporate boss.
Me and Mr. Narrator slowly approach the casino. I read the neon lights that flash over the casino: Wet Dreams.
"Wow Mr. Narrator. We did it. After a bunch of walking and sweating my buttcheeks off, we finally made it."
"Indubitably, Bubba has finally arrived at his destination." Mr. Narrator comments.
I take a deep breath and enter through the girthy doors.
Inside, it's like the name suggests, its a literal wet dream. The casino smells like sticky beer and drugs galore, with pounds of meth being flung into the air. There's also a bunch of shitty EDM music and flashing disco lights that are raping my senses. Speaking of the music, I think it's vibrating the whole freaking casino, including everyones' booty cheeks!
Holy shit, I think I just saw a guy light himself on fire while chugging on a bottle of Everclear. And no ones cares! Actually, I think everyone's fucking high!
On the plus side though, there are a frick ton of strippers bouncing ass on some of the poker table. Some thirsty guys are throwing money on their booties and are lowkey dry humping each other. The others who aren't getting busy with the booties or drugs are all fucking each other in a giant orgy!
"Woah" I moan. "This place rocks."
Mr. Narrator combs back his hair. "Where shall Bubba begin?"
"Hmm..." I scan the room, trying to sense where I can make the biggest profit.
For a split second, my body twitches. I hear a voice inside my earlobes chanting "more".
I snap out if it. Damn, must be the meth particles. I spot a table of serious looking men gambling, off in the corner.
"Aha! I've got it. Let's join those guys and gamble!"
As we walk towards the gamblers, a rogue-like yet sexy cowboy man walks towards me.
"Is that guy a stripper or a gambler? He's literally wearing a thong with a cowboy hat," I whisper to Mr. Narrator
Mr. Narrator scratches his chin. "I'm not quite sure."
"Howdy sugar biscuits. Do you lot wanna partake in some gambling?" The sexy-cowboy man asks.
I have to restrain my excitement. "Yeah! Let's gamble, baby!"
Mr. Narrator briefly flashes a smile that feels... off? It's a bit unsettling, but maybe it's a hot-person thing.
"Glad to hear it, pal. People around here know me as the Cowboy Twink."
I gulp. "Man, I love twinks. I guess I like cowboys too."
Cowboy Twink points towards Mr. Narrator. "That's a fine twink right dere', yes sir."
"Oh he's not a twink, well kinda not. He's actually my narrator."
Cowboy Twink fiddles with his thong. "Welp, looks like we've got quite strange company comin' here. Anywho, that's enough talking. It's time for more gamblin'."
"And so, Bubba descends into the depths of the casino with money on his mind," Mr. Narrator narrates.