Every time I go into Berserker mode, I always end up wanting to pee.Now that I think about it, there's even a villain in Fist of the North Star who gets the urge to urinate every time he kills someone.…Am I slightly perverted?
But my bladder was about to explode, and there were no public restrooms anywhere nearby.
I considered just letting it out into the roaring DaNing River.
Then I suddenly remembered a poem my dad used to recite. Something like:"I live at the head of the river, you live at the tail. I think of you every day, sharing the same flowing water."I'm probably remembering it wrong, but the idea was something like that.
Still… what if someone actually drank this water downstream? Wouldn't it be morally wrong to just pee into the river?
Fine. Better to just do it here on dry land—up against the bridge pier. At least the mushrooms, grass, and weeds below would get a nutrient boost.
I kicked the unconscious ringleader aside.Don't block my way—I'm trying to relieve myself here!
Even if I hate someone, I'm not the kind of guy who would deliberately pee on them. I'm not that far gone.
Our school sports uniform doesn't even have a zipper, so I had to pull my pants down a bit.
…Eh? Nothing's coming out.
But my bladder is absolutely screaming right now.
Oh right. The "physiological reaction."
Great. Fantastic. Haruya, confirmed pervert.
I've heard some men get that "reaction" after fighting—especially after winning.If you think about it, in the animal kingdom, males usually fight for mating rights, so maybe this is just biology kicking in. Evolutionary instinct or whatever.
So as long as I'm the victorious male of the species, my body thinks it's time to celebrate.
Even if there isn't a single female around.
Clearly, Berserker mode just drags out the animal side of me. I really shouldn't use it too much, or I'll lose brain cells and turn into an actual beast.
Ah—finally! It's flowing!
So relaxing. So satisfying. Life feels worth living again.
Huh? Why does the water pressure seem especially strong today?
The sound was mostly drowned out by the roaring DaNing River. Thankfully.Please, please let no one see me. I feel like some kind of criminal.
I don't usually pee in random places. I honestly feel a little guilty.If there were a bathroom within 500 meters, I would never, ever do this—not even under threat of death.
Then suddenly, I heard a bicycle approaching.
A bright flashlight beamed directly onto my back.
What the—A patrolling cop?One of the gang's backup buddies?
I didn't have time to think. I turned around instantly—without pulling my pants up—because the "water arc" was still mid-flight.
Whoever you are, you DO NOT sneak up on a guy who's mid-pee!
Thankfully, the person didn't come close. They sat on the bicycle, one hand on the handlebar, the other holding a flashlight, watching me from a distance.
I squinted through the glare.
They were wearing our school uniform.Long black hair—so long I worried it might get caught in the bike spokes.A pale face in the moonlight.Eyes sharp, focused—like a sniper.
Wait.Is that… Shu Sha, our class leader?
Why are you here!? I didn't know you lived nearby! Are you seriously still holding a grudge because I faked a toothache earlier? Have you been stalking me on your bike this whole time? How petty ARE you?!
And stop staring directly at my faucet!
If you want to look at one so badly, go home and stare at your little brother's!
I wanted to put everything away, but I wasn't done yet!
And what kind of reaction is that!?Normal girls would scream "MOM! THERE'S A PERVERT!" and cover their faces.But you—you're frowning, eyes wide open, analyzing it like it's some archaeological artifact.
Look away! I'm not a scientific specimen!
It's over. I exposed myself to a female classmate. This qualifies as serious perversion.If Shu Sha reports this, I won't be able to face anyone again. Even my dad would disown me.
But… class leader, why won't you look away!?Is this revenge because I once saw that photoshopped nude image of you? So now you HAVE to see mine too!?
Fine then. If you're not embarrassed… why should I be?
With that thought, I snorted and continued peeing.After I finished, I even gave things a very unapologetic shake.
She made a face like she'd just witnessed the most grotesque horror on earth.
Tch. If it's so disgusting, don't look!
I pulled my pants up, suddenly much calmer.
Shu Sha didn't speak. Instead, she swept her flashlight over the guys lying at my feet.
What—looking for someone?Don't tell me you actually know one of these thugs. At school you're always lecturing people, reporting rule-breakers left and right, but secretly hanging around criminal types?
Could it be your boyfriend is one of the ones I knocked out?
But she checked carefully, and clearly didn't find whoever she was looking for.
Finally, she asked, "Haruya, why did you fight these people?"
Her tone was icy and authoritative—like a parent catching their child red-handed.
I wanted to say that I was just imitating Lei Feng and helping others…But her suspicious face told me she wouldn't believe it.
"Hehehe, no reason. I was just passing by and they looked at me funny."
I replied with a nasty grin. Berserker mode still hadn't totally faded; I must've looked terrifying.
"You beat them up this badly just because they looked at you wrong!?" she said, almost heartbroken.
I nodded firmly.
"You… you're insanely violent!"
"Well said! I AM violent! If anyone dares look at me wrong, I knock them out. And if I'm in a bad mood, I'll wipe out their whole family!"
"You—!"
She was too furious to finish the sentence.
"You what? Huh? Class leader, you've been staring right at me for so long. Aren't you afraid I'll just take you—"
I stepped toward her, pretending I was about to grab her.
She stomped on her pedals and shot off instantly.
Her reaction speed was impressive.
She rode so fast that her long hair streamed behind her, floating in the wind.In her panicked haste to escape my "evil clutches," she bent forward, accidentally exposing a patch of pale skin under her sports jacket.
Watching her flee like her life depended on it, I couldn't help grinning smugly.
I broke into a run behind her, deliberately stomping loudly and yelling:
"I'm coming after you!"
She jolted so hard she nearly fell off her seat.
Then she regained her composure, tossed the flashlight into her basket to use as a headlamp, and pedaled away into the night.
The only girl here was gone.
Time for me to head home too.
Dad always tells me not to get into fights. Something about Sun Tzu saying:"Killing a thousand enemies costs eight hundred of your own."
Honestly, my arm does hurt. Probably bruised.
It'd be nice to have Wolverine's claws.Or even brass knuckles. Anything to save my fists.
But when the Little Tyrant used to bully me, he never used weapons.So I've always wanted to beat him fair and square, barehanded.
I want a proper rematch with him!
Looking at the five groaning bodies on the ground, I felt so conflicted I almost cried.
When I got home, I showered immediately.
Dad had just received the latest issue of Global Science, and was sitting at the table reading it.I quietly slipped into the bathroom with my dirty clothes and came out after washing up.He didn't even notice I'd been in a fight.
Global Science is world-famous—over a hundred Nobel Prize winners have written for it. It used to be called Scientific American.
Scientific my ass! Explain Ai Mi to me then!Guess I'll have to buy a Bible tomorrow and help her copy it.
"Hey, Dad, do we have a Bible? That really unscientific thing?"
Dad looked up from the magazine, puzzled."We do. Why? Haruya, are you researching religion now?"
"No, I just suddenly need it for something. Can I borrow it for a while?"
"Old Testament or New Testament? It's not the combined version."
"Old Testament is fine."
Ai Mi specifically said she needed the Old Testament.
"Why not the New Testament?" Dad frowned. "God in the Old Testament is pretty strict and unreasonable."
"Eh? Is the God in the New Testament reasonable?"
"More reasonable than the Old Testament… If you read only the Old Testament, you'll never like that version of God."
Dad had mentioned before that in the Old Testament, you must obey God no matter what—if He asks you to sacrifice your son, you have to do it. He'll let your family die just to test your loyalty. Pretty awful parenting.
It feels like Ai Mi's mom is making her copy the Old Testament specifically to give her a message.
A message like: "Disobey me and nothing good will happen to you."
Seeing her own daughter as property, treating herself like God…
I suddenly really disliked Ai Mi's mother.
Not that someone else's mom should matter to me.
The Bible we had was the traditional Chinese version. Ai Mi's punishment requires copying five pages from a simplified Chinese Bible and five from a traditional one.
So I still need to buy a simplified version.
"Wait, Haruya, you can read traditional characters just fine," Dad said, confused.
Yeah, I can read them. I grew up reading Hong Kong manga.But writing simplified characters while reading traditional ones?I'll absolutely forget some strokes.
Better to buy a simplified Old Testament. Just in case.
I'm not sure if the bookstore near school sells Bibles along with textbooks.
I'll check tomorrow during lunch.