While John was studying the laws of space, Maria the oracle arch angel had a sudden premonition. She saw a future where Fourchans ruled the galaxy and invited trouble for John.
Most of her visions weren't too scary. In fact they were extremely beneficial. She saw a black hole, she saw a galactic war shouting John's name. She saw shrines and people sacrificing themselves in his name, for his glory, all worshipping him as a god.
Most importantly.
She saw how bored John was.
As he sat on his throne on his stage (a replica of the iron throne) , just sighing in boredom. This scene… IT INFURIATED HER!
"HOW DARE THEY NOT ENTERTAIN HIM MORE! THEY SEE HIM AS A GOD YET STILL BORE HIM?!" Maria screeched in anger!
Yes, that's what she was angry about. It wasn't the fact that he had quintillions of people worshiping his name or the fact that he had become a tier 9 planet and still had the audacity to be bored.
No! It was the fact that nobody was there to keep him entertained!
Her obsession for John could only be rivaled by her sisters.
Either way, Maria was livid.
Just as she tried to figure out a way to help him, she had yet another premonition! Except this one made her scream at the top of her lungs!
The oracle leaves the star system after becoming an Earth-Immortal and gets herself killed like an idiot by another Earth-Immortal. THE END.
If there was a way to break things in her domain she would. Sadly the only possessions she had were the fake sun overhead and the endless clouds. All of which weren't even real.
So with nothing to vent over she instead made her own plans. After she had made her plan she had a THIRD AND FINAL vision. This one was perfect! It had entertainment, it had loyal subjects, it had black holes, it even had beastmen!
Sure the Fourchans will survive but as long as they're put on the back burner that's all that matters.
With that, she made her plan. The only thing she was missing were accomplices!
She couldn't do this alone and she knew John well enough to know that he enjoys one thing.
ENTERTAINMENT!
"HAHAHHAHAH!!!" Maria laughed like a maniac as she called for reinforcements.
A few minutes later Jace, Sofia and Susan came to her domain.
Sofia looked mildly uncomfortable being surrounded by so much sunlight and clouds. As a representative of fire, chaos and swords she could only stare at the shining golden sun in absolute horror!
This was nothing like her domain!
"I feel like I'm going to hurl."
Before she could yell at her sister and complain Maria stopped her.
"GUYS! I know you don't like me, and I don't like you, but I have something to tell you!"
Susan scrunched her face in confusion.
"I like you." She said.
Maria just blushed, "Oh. Well I like you too."
Susan just huffed and thought about leaving, but before she could, Maria grabbed her arm and yelled, "WAIT!"
"I'm right here. You don't have to yell."
Maria just shied away.
All three girls just looked at her like she was an idiot.
"Anyway… Here's the sitch."
After a few minutes of explaining all four girls were livid! Susan was busy chewing on her nails while Sofia was beginning to emit fire hot enough to boil the oceans of clouds around them. Fortunately everything wasn't real so the only ones getting burned were her sisters.
"Sofia! Stoooop. It's too hot!"
Sofia reluctantly calmed down with a bit of effort.
After a while the four of them calmed down and had to think about their future, or more importantly John's future.
"On one hand, the first vision isn't so bad. At least he's safe. The second vision doesn't need to be talked about but the third one sounds… risky."
"But fun."
"It does sound fun…"
All four of them nodded along in agreement.
They weren't thinking about themselves. They were thinking about how best to give John the excitement he craved.
So after a bit of thinking they decided to go with the third route.
"He sounds super strong in this version!"
"He sounds really cool."
"Future galactic devourer!"
After picking this route the four of them got together and made their plan. Susan would implant a secret bit of coding that would make the ship self-destruct, while Maria was the only one who could reach the ship and give the command and Sofia was here for support.
'Kinda figured she'd be more helpful. Oh well, at least she's good for moral support.'
...
A few weeks went by and the plan was shaping up quite well.
The time to sabotage the Fourchans was here and Sofia finally had something she could do!
While the oracle was busy she was responsible for egging on the other alien freaks.
It wasn't hard, she wasn't able to go in orbit of another moon's atmosphere but she could at least visit the shuttle.
After boarding the shuttle she came face to face with two 'pilots', if you could call them that. You have to remember, for these peasants, technology like this is way too new.
They looked a bit freaked out but they already knew their oracle was visiting 'humans', whatever those were.
After opening her mouth she quickly encountered a problem.
"$#!^^!^!#$%*&"
"!^%@&%$&$?"
She had no idea what they were saying.
After some back and forth she grew angry and stormed out of the shuttle. Of course she wasn't done there however.
"ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"
As she screamed at the top of her lungs she did the only thing she knew. She cast [Fire Ball].
Except this was no ordinary fire ball. No no no…
This was an illusion of one only they could see. In the eyes of the two pilots it was the size of a friggin mountain! It's also the reason why they were so quick to get out of there.
"$@^&@$&!!!!"
"!$^!#%^%^!!!"
After the shuttle docked with the ship they were quickly interrogated by their superiors, but in less than a second the unthinkable happened.
KABOOM!
...…
"And that's what happened."
John just stared with a blank face before replying with a look of understanding.
"You know me well."
They were a bit nervous he would get upset but they were delighted to know that he actually approved of their interference.
Besides, he was going to betray her anyway, or at least he assumed that was the case since she reacted so negatively after he had the thought of betraying her.
Though he also had a few other ideas, like outright denying giving her the spiritual energy or just giving in and seeing what would happen. Apparently if he took the latter it would only bite him in the ass.
'Thankfully Maria is the better oracle.'
He just looked at the four as they acted shy clearly hoping for a reward.
"You did good. Thank you for looking after me. Although I would appreciate…"
He was about to ask for a warning but he thought back on the fact that they did it for his entertainment… and he did like watching that ship explode…
"Never mind, who doesn't like surprises from time to time? Just give me a hug."
Without thinking he shrugged it off and gave them their rewards.
He wasn't worried about the future, he figured if a problem ever arose that was serious enough he could just consult the Akashic Record.
As he was cuddling with the girls in bed he suddenly perked up as if remembering something.
"Wait what blackhole?"
Maria opened her eyes as if remembering that small tidbit of information.
"Oh right. Yeah, there's a black hole coming our way."
Maria just cuddled back up with John and closed her eyes like she didn't just release planetary destroying news!
"Well shit."
...….
Meanwhile in an alternate timeline.
John sat in his throne waiting for his next meal cooked up by wife #73.
'Life is good.' He thought to himself as he noticed one of his kids approaching.
Just as he was about to get up he noticed somebody watching him.
'Another spy peering into my future?'
Just as he was about to punish this rude oracle the presence disappeared and with it one of his daughters showed up with lunch in her hands.
'So cute!'
John had the biggest smile on his face as he saw her approach.
"Daddy!"
John just chuckled as he watched her nearly trip in her excitement.
"Yeah. Life is good. Plenty of excitement these days. Hate to be anyone but me. Hahaha!"