Lucien Klein
Kaius's kisses softened until they were slow and careful, like he was afraid to miss even a small part of me. He followed the line of my jaw with his mouth, brushing light, warm kisses over my skin, then moved to my ear, where his lips lingered just long enough to make my breath hitch. When he pressed his mouth to the side of my neck, holding there like he needed the contact as much as I did, my whole body shivered. My fingers clutched at his shirt without thinking, trying to pull him closer, trying to ask him not to stop. Each kiss felt like more than just touch, it felt like him saying I'm here, I choose you, over and over, until my chest ached with how much I wanted to believe it.
"K-Kaius…" I breathed. A hot sting gathered at the corners of my eyes, blurring the lines of his face. His chest hitched against mine on a shaky breath, the unsteady rise and fall saying more than any apology or promise ever could. My lashes lowered under the weight of it all, eyes fluttering shut as the feelings piled up too fast to sort; relief and hurt, love and fear, joy and something close to grief, twisting together until I couldn't pull them apart, only feel them wash through me in one deep, aching rush.
Then, suddenly, something cold and wet touched my neck. It wasn't the heat of Kaius's mouth anymore… but tears.. his tears, slipping down onto my skin, shocking in how cool they felt against how hot I was. For a second my whole body went still, like the world had been tilted back. It felt like ice water had been poured down my spine, cutting through the haze, and the sharp chill of it snapped me back into myself, back into the heavy, aching truth that whatever this was between us, it was hurting him too.
I froze, my whole body locking up while my heart slammed against my ribs so hard it almost hurt. The room fell quiet, and in that thin, fragile silence I finally heard it.. the small, broken sounds he'd been holding back, slipping out of him in shaky, uneven sobs. Each one brushed my skin where he leaned over me, soft and desperate, like he was trying to hide them and failing. He didn't move away, didn't try to pull himself together; he just stayed there, shaking with every breath, clinging to me like he was scared that if he let go, he'd fall apart completely.
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in, holding him as tightly as I could, like if I just didn't let go then nothing else would be allowed to touch him. My hands slid up his back and pressed between his shoulder blades, trying to cover every place that shook, trying to steady the tremors I felt under my palms. I tucked him closer to my chest, burying his face against my neck, as if my body could be a wall between him and the rest of the world, as if I could take all the weight off his shoulders just by holding on.
In that moment it didn't matter that I couldn't fix what hurt him; all I could think was to stay.
I knew. I knew he wouldn't fall apart like this unless the pain was pressing down so hard that he couldn't hold it back anymore. Kaius was always the one who smiled for everyone else, who swallowed his worries and joked them away so no one would see how much he carried. He has always been like that since college.
But here, in my arms, the mask slipped. His shoulders shook, his breath hitched, and all that hurt he'd been hiding finally spilled out where I could feel it. Watching him break open against me made something inside my chest crack wide, a sharp, aching snap that felt like my own heart was splitting just trying to hold his pieces together.
Please tell me what Julian did to you. What did he do to you this time?
"H-help me, Lucien." The words scraped out of him, thin and broken, like his throat had been torn raw by all the cries he'd swallowed before this. His voice shook on every word, each one heavy with a kind of hurt that made my stomach twist. "Please," he begged, the word barely more than a breath, "Make it stop. Please, I need this pain to go away…" His plea hung between us, shaking and fragile, and for a heartbeat all I could hear was the wrecked sound of him needing me in a way he had never let himself need anyone before.
My heart broke. It felt like every piece I'd carefully tucked away, every bit of strength I'd built to keep myself steady, just cracked under the weight of his pain. All the armor I'd wrapped around myself didn't matter anymore, not when he was shaking in my arms and looking at me like I was the only thing holding him together. I wanted to fix it, to reach inside his chest and pull out every shard of hurt, every dark thought, until all that was left was quiet. More than anything, I wanted him to feel what my hands, my voice, my touch were trying to say.. that he was safe here, that he could fall apart as much as he needed to and I would still be holding on.
"I will," I whispered, the words spit out from somewhere deep and raw. "I promise, Zel." My voice shook so hard it almost didn't sound like mine, but I meant every word in a way that made my chest ache. "You won't be hurt again," I breathed against his hair. "I won't let anyone ever do this to you anymore. I'll stand between you and everything that tries to break you." My arms tightened around him, as if I could seal the promise into his skin. "You're safe with me," I murmured, over and over like a prayer. "I won't let you go ever again. Not now. Not ever."
And I held him there, my arms locked around him. I didn't tell him to calm down, didn't tell him it was okay or that he had to be strong; I just let him cry, let every broken sound shake through me too. With every soft promise I murmured against his hair, I tried to tell him that this time, he didn't have to hold himself together alone, that he could fall apart as much as he needed and I would still be here, catching every piece of him.
In silence, I prayed he could feel all the love I'd never voiced, every vow wrapped around his pain, every thread of hope I had left.
I would stay. I would fight. I would love until we both remembered how it felt to be whole.