"It's been a long night…" Yuan finally broke the silence, and even though his voice stayed level, Xiao Feng heard how forced the calmness was. "We must be tired. We should rest," he added.
He shifted as if ready to leave and head to his room, but before he could take a single step, Li Yue reached out and grabbed both their hands, Yuan's on her right, Xiao Feng's on her left.
She looked from one to the other, her intention clear.
She pulled them toward the bed. She guided them to sit on either side of her, her hands still holding theirs. "It's our wedding night," she murmured.
This time her voice carried no shyness, only softness and certainty. "Don't you want to spend it with me?" She lifted her gaze, eyes gentle. "You know… I have loved both of you all my life. I spent years wondering which of you I would choose because both of you made me feel the same way. And now the Moon Goddess has answered my prayers." Her words slowed. "Did you ever think of me like that? Or does this feel like a forced marriage to you?"
"What? No," Yuan answered first, though hesitation clung to every part of his voice. His tone was unsure, like he didn't quite know what he was denying.
Xiao Feng noticed how Yuan still didn't look his way, not even once. In fact, ever since the wedding rituals began, Yuan's eyes slid past him every time, like he was avoiding even the smallest chance of meeting his gaze.
Something bitter and painful rose in Xiao Feng's chest, something he didn't want to acknowledge.
Sitting there, listening to Yuan reassure Li Yue, it made him feel terrible. And he hated himself for how weak it made him feel. He wished he could push away his feelings the way Yuan seemed to. He wished he could act unaffected. He wished he could pretend, or just make those feelings disappear.
Li Yue suddenly turned toward him, breaking his thoughts. "Why are you this quiet? Didn't you want this marriage? You didn't even answer when I asked if it feels forced to you."
Xiao Feng almost stayed silent again. But he didn't, he tried and formed the words.
And when he spoke, it wasn't because he truly wanted to, but because Yuan was doing everything he could to show that he had moved on, that the past between them meant nothing now.
And Xiao Feng refused to sit there looking like the only one stuck, the only one who hadn't let go. If Yuan could pretend he didn't care anymore, then so could he.
"It's not like that…" he murmured, turning slightly toward Li Yue. "It's just that… I wished it would only be the two of us. It would be better that way. I have loved you too, all my life, and I… I'm still not comfortable with the fact that I have to share you with someone else now." His voice lifted just a little, as if he wanted Yuan to hear every word loud and clear.
As he spoke, he couldn't stop himself from stealing a quick glance at Yuan, just to see how he reacted.
Yuan didn't show any emotion on his face, but Xiao Feng noticed the fingers of his free hand curling tightly into a fist.
He didn't know whether that reaction was because of Li Yue…
Or because of him.
Li Yue's lips curved into a small smile. "You don't have to feel that way," she said quietly. "I promise I will love both of you equally. I'll give you the same attention. Just… can you two try to get along? Why can't you be close anymore after being good friends for so long?"
Xiao Feng held her hand more tightly. "Actually… the reason we can't get along is…" He stopped, as if searching again for Yuan's reaction.
And for the first time that night, Yuan's eyes snapped toward him, like something inside him moved before he could stop it.
Xiao Feng felt his breath catch.
He drowned in those blue eyes without warning.
He hadn't realized how badly he had been craving Yuan to look at him, even just once. Only now, when it finally happened, did he realize how hungry he'd been for it.
He forgot what he was about to say. He just stared back, and Yuan didn't look away either. It was a quiet, heavy moment that neither of them seemed able to break.
"What's the reason?" Li Yue asked again, when Xiao Feng stayed silent for too long.
"You," Xiao Feng said finally, turning to her. "You're the reason the misunderstanding started. We were two friends who loved the same girl, and neither of us wanted to let the other have you alone."
Li Yue blinked, stunned. "What? Really?"
Xiao Feng couldn't force himself to answer. A strange guilt tugged at him. Instead, he changed the direction of his words. "Don't worry. I'm willing to do whatever I need to do to get along. And if Alpha Wang is willing".. he changed to the formal address intentionally, "then everything will be fine."
His gaze slid back to Yuan. Li Yue's did as well. The two of them waited for his response.
"I do not have any problems with anyone," Yuan said. That was all. He didn't look at Xiao Feng this time.
"Well then," Li Yue said softly, her voice light again, a gentle smile playing on her lips.
She leaned in and kissed Yuan first. Then she turned to Xiao Feng and kissed him too. But as her lips touched his, all Xiao Feng found himself searching for was the lingering taste she had taken from Yuan when she kissed him first.
She rose to her feet while the two men remained seated, watching her.
Slowly, she reached for the first layer of her wedding robe and slipped it off.
Both Xiao Feng and Yuan's eyes widened. Even though they had known what tonight would be, neither of them knew if they were truly ready to see what lay beneath those heavy red robes.
Xiao Feng couldn't help wondering why Li Yue was that confident now. Every other time, she had seemed shy, gentle, soft-spoken. Especially while out there.
His heart was racing.
Something deep inside him whispered that this might finally be the moment when he would know whether he'd been delusional all along, forcing himself to feel something for a man… or whether he truly couldn't be attracted to a woman at all.
In that moment, he made a promise to himself: that if he felt even the slightest spark toward her, he would cut Yuan out of his system completely and choose a woman instead, even if that woman wasn't Li Yue.
He would rather leave Li Yue for him and find another woman.
Because loving a man… loving Yuan… hurt.,. It had already cost him everything. It made him feel as if he were always walking on the edge of a cliff, where one wrong step meant certain death.
And worse, Yuan hadn't acknowledged him, not even once, in three years. It was as if he hated him for what happened, as if he'd used every last bit of strength to run as far away from him as possible.
Xiao Feng told himself that he understood why they needed to stay away from each other.
But did Yuan really have to push him that far away?
Not a single conversation. Not a single word about what they did. Did Yuan regret it that much? Was he disgusted? Why hadn't he even tried to talk in secret?
These thoughts had stolen his peace for three long years. And now he despised them, despised himself for still caring. He wished he could hate Yuan as easily as everyone assumed he did.