Life's a bitch then you die, right?
I guess what I'm asking is, is it too late for me ?
The happiest day crumbling to nothing with the passing of a second; there's nothing there in your heart, just a corrupted Lenten rose.
The turmoil tugs at your already crippled heart, in hopes of escaping your self.
The need to cut out the sophistry and connect with you; the weight of this self induced isolation, akin to the fisher kings ailment, one that Percival fails to perceive .
Tormented by my own mind, judged guilty by the court no moment allowed to pass without its cost, you must pay with your sanity. Every day feels suffocating and I start planning how to not feel fulfilled so that I do not have to battle against a court which will never find me innocent .
Percival didn't fail to perceive he was taught to not pry, Percival's failure lies in his silence; simple compassion is what keeps us connected it is the most simple yet the most important thing to a person passing through any hardship
The judge: jury, executioner, king fisher, Percival they're all you; the judge paid off by your self hate, the court isn't real it's your misplaced guilt .
You may be a corrupted Lenten rose, using sophistry to create a complex framework to methodically punish yourself; To prove you deserve to be unhappy, the truth is when a rose is corrupted it isn't burnt to the ground. The rose is revitalised with gentle care, pruning the dead leaves, watering the soil and providing it light. Next season that same rose will bloom, yes it may have scars, it might not look the same but healing starts with accepting yourself and then initiating change.
You're the gardener now, not the defendant.
The fisher king was eventually healed by Percival, not by something so extraordinary or extravagant only the greatest mind could think of, but by a simple "what ails thee, uncle". Simple empathy; If you wish to cure yourself apply this to your own life and stop fretting the complexities