I can't handle myself.
All over the place, reminiscing, ruminating, rummaging over and over again, I know the truth ; my dwelling is within my own keeping yet I remain so powerless over my own settlement
Why am I so bewildered to accept what I know; to have solace in my imperfection.
Dreams of my carefully constructed Death, different every time but always absolute; If my peace lies in my demise is chaos my existence .
I'm back out of my coma, 20 years of a wasted life, nothing achieved, everything lost ; a hopeless loner content in his own delirious self hate.
Is the soft embrace of care enough? enough to melt the glacier freezing my soul, in a world full of soulless soulmates can I find the one, do I even deserve it; the yearning to be able to thrive on isolation .
Melting hurts; it stings, it burns, its messy, when a glacier melts it causes floods. The ice however is frozen, safe and consistent.
The sinning noise is jealous it wants me back whispering words of consolation, tread onto the stage lights flourish in its glamour. The quiet getting ever so far, the gardener laid to rest.
I want them to stop judging me, I'm sorry I know I'm bad I just want a resolution; I want my soul freed
The observer eagerly awaiting your permission to siphon this poison out of your body so that you can see, is there really anyone judging you ?
I know that, I know that I really do I just, I can't, maybe I am the poison, im just poison to myself
Does poison have an observer ? You are not poison; the vessel holding the poison wil think it is poison, but that thought is just a toxin vaporised into the soul from the heating of the poison through your own chaos.
I feel a leak inside of me but somehow instead of the poison leaking out, I leak out what is left of me, one more cold night that's all I can take.
The gardener, the child with the glint in his eye; all of it is draining away leaving behind only sludge
It's all a hallucination the Vapor from the poison is dizzying your mind; A parasite stubborn to release its host will convince its host they are one and the same
I am powerless