The doctor said I was good to go by tomorrow.
For some reason I feel like there's a pit in my stomach, churning, revolting.
I have been having strange nightmares every night since I first woke up but end up forgetting all that happened by morning, just the unpleasant sticky feeling lingers like a bad smell.
I can't stand looking at those walls anymore, hearing the noises outside, making small talk with the nurses that come to check on me, I just want to go away.
Soon, I exhale.
***
No one came to visit the blonde girl, who is my roommate.
They removed almost all the machines that were connected to her, and she only talks softly to the doctor.
I asked Nurse Bianca, the plump one, who that girl was, but she only said that she had been admitted the same day as me, in almost the same condition.
Yet, somewhere inside me, I feel a tenderness, a care, a feeling that I must protect her.
Even without even knowing her. It's so strange.
***
We were discharged together, but no one came to pick her up.
As for me, I'm going to stay at Louise's house, because I have no living relatives left besides Sammy.
I take advantage of the moment when Lou goes to get a glass of water in the cafeteria, before returning to take me to the car where her mother is waiting.
I timidly approach the blonde girl, who is bent over, tying her shoelaces.
"Hi, I'm Alexandra." I almost stutter.
She turns to me.
I get the biggest scare of my life.
I remain completely still, as if my feet were nailed to the floor.
The blonde girl is Samantha Knight, my only sister.
***
"Oh my god, Sam!" Lou shouts, when he comes in and sees me next to Sammy.
Samantha is totally different from me.
She has a thick head of blonde hair, big emerald eyes, and is always smiling, even when she is angry or sad.
Really different from me.
"Well, I think we'll have another guest, I just don't know what my mother will say." Lou says with a look of concern.
Completely fake concern, since her mother is the most liberal person in the world, Lou does whatever she wants...
My mother didn't really like me being friends with Lou, she said she was a bad influence, but my mother had to accept it.
Lou is my only friend.
I've never been popular, nor would I want to be.
My achievements aren't admirable, they're more nerdy things, like science fair trophies, checkers, chess...
I would love to have a trophy in equestrianism, but my mother thought horse riding was dangerous.
Maybe Lou will take me to her family's country house, they have horses there.
Up until now my phone has not been found, but it's no big deal, there's no one else who would contact me anyway.
Why am I having random thoughts?
I think the crash messed with my weak brain a lot.
Lou and the doctor keep talking, but I don't hear anything. I'm too worried about the severity of my new attention deficit.
There was a shrink that came to see me but she just said I was having normal post traumatic symptoms and I still haven't faced the whole thing. So I just keep going like everything's normal. Apparently my brain hasn't catched up with the whole suddenly orphan thing.
I don't want to think about it either.
I don't want to remember him.