The Trio Wake Up — HUMBLE, TERRIFIED, QUIETER
Madam Pomfrey had barely stepped aside when the three idiots jolted awake at once.
Ron (gasping):
"NO—DON'T LET THE SNAKE EAT ME—!!!"
Neville (sobbing):
"M-my plants… tried to strangle me…"
Seamus (whispering):
"…Everything exploded… even things that can't explode…"
They were pale.
Shaking.
Sweaty.
Eyes wide like traumatized puppies.
The nurses leaned in.
The three spoke together:
Trio:
"…We are never going on an adventure again."
Silence.
Then:
Ron:
"I just want to go home."
Neville nodded violently.
Seamus curled into a ball muttering,
"no more boom… no more boom…"
Even Madam Pomfrey raised an eyebrow.
🏫 Hogwarts Reacts to Their Sudden Good Behavior
The next morning, the Trio came to breakfast like scared kittens.
No bragging No loud voices No wild gestures No "chosen one" delusions
They sat down quietly.
Students stared.
Hufflepuff 1:
"Ron Weasley isn't talking. Is he… sick?"
Ravenclaw 3:
"Maybe he finally learned something?"
Slytherin 2:
"I give it two days."
Fred & George:
"…This is unsettling."
Even McGonagall blinked at them, suspicious.
Snape walked by, frowned, and tapped Ron's forehead lightly with his wand.
Snape:
"…No fever.
Strange."
Keith watched all this from the Hufflepuff table while drinking tea like a proud parent.
Keith:
"Good.
Peace at last."
Rias smirked.
🐍 Draco Arrives — Mockery Level: Legendary
Draco Malfoy strutted in like he OWNED the Great Hall and spotted the unusually quiet ginger.
He smirked instantly.
Draco:
"Well, well, if it isn't
Ron 'Pisspants the Enlightened' Weasley."
Slytherins snorted.
Ron twitched.
Draco:
"What's wrong?
No bragging today?
No great tales about how you saved the world?"
Ron swallowed.
Ron:
"…I'm trying to be… better."
Draco blinked.
Then burst into laughter.
Draco:
"You?
Better?
You fainted at your own nightmares, Weasley!"
Ron turned red as Gryffindor banners.
Neville hid his face.
Seamus trembled.
🔄 But Then… The Old Ron Returns
Just when Hogwarts thought they FINALLY had peace…
Ron snapped.
Ron:
"AT LEAST I FOUGHT YOU-KNOW-WHO!!"
The entire Great Hall froze.
Ron, emboldened by his own stupidity:
"That's right!
I fought him!
Face-to-face!
Hand-to-hand!
Man-to-monster!"
The entire trauma Darkrai gave him evaporated in SECONDS.
Neville blinked.
Seamus blinked.
…And both idiots slowly regained their delusions.
Neville:
"Yeah! We did! We're heroes!"
Seamus:
"I exploded him!"
Hogwarts groaned.
😐 Keith Watching This Disaster Unfold
Keith, who had been mid-sip of a drink…
Stopped.
Closed his eyes.
Took a deep, slow breath.
Keith:
"…Plan.
Failed."
Rias patted his shoulder sympathetically.
Darkrai, in Keith's shadow, whispered:
Darkrai:
"…Master… should we try again?"
Keith shook his head tragically.
Keith:
"No, Darkrai.
If we keep fixing them…
they'll just get dumber."
Even Snape muttered from the staff table:
Snape:
"…This is why Dumbledore left for vacation."
McGonagall put her face in her hands.
Flitwick started laughing so hard he fell off his chair.
And Draco?
Draco was already walking away, loudly declaring:
Draco:
"BEHOLD!
Ron 'Pisspants the Undying' returns!!!"