Dumbledore Returns From Vacation… And Immediately Regrets It
Dumbledore stepped through the Hogwarts doors, freshly rested, humming a little tune, sunglasses still on, suitcase in hand.
Dumbledore (smiling):
"Ah… peace. I feel refreshed. I'm sure nothing disastrous hap—"
A loud noise echoed through the hall.
Ron's voice, screaming:
"AND THAT'S HOW I DEFEATED VOLDEMORT WITH A BROKEN WAND AND SHEER BRAVERY!"
Dumbledore froze mid-step.
Turned slowly.
Saw:
Ron standing on a table Neville holding a quill like a reporter Seamus sketching explosive diagrams Draco in the corner laughing so hard he couldn't breathe McGonagall contemplating early retirement Snape drinking something suspicious from a flask Hufflepuffs shaking their heads Keith sipping tea like nothing is happening
Dumbledore removed his sunglasses.
And whispered:
Dumbledore:
"…I was gone for three days."
McGonagall walked past him and deadpanned:
McGonagall:
"They wrote two autobiographies while you were gone."
Snape added:
Snape:
"And Ron believes he is the next Merlin."
Dumbledore facepalmed so hard the portraits flinched.
📚 The Trio Start Writing Books About Their "Heroic Deeds"
The school library was in chaos.
Madam Pince was crying.
Ron, Neville, and Seamus had taken over a table with giant stacks of parchment.
Book Title #1:
"RON WEASLEY AND THE TROLL OF DOOM"
Book Title #2:
"THE NIGHT I SAVED HOGWARTS (A Neville Longbottom Story)"
Book Title #3:
"HOW I BLEW UP VOLDEMORT — BY SEAMUS FINNEGAN"
Students passing by stared in horror.
Hermione was twitching violently.
Hermione:
"This is… historically… logically… magically… WRONG!"
Ron smirked.
Ron:
"Well, Hermione, some people are just born legendary."
Hermione nearly summoned a book to hit him.
Tonks had to drag her away before she committed homicide.
Draco walked past, snickering:
Draco:
"Don't forget the sequel:
'Ron Weasley and the Pant-soaked Past.'"
Ron threw a quill at him and missed.
📖 Meanwhile… Keith's Study Group (aka the geniuses)
Final exams were scheduled.
Everyone panicked.
Except:
Keith Helena Susan Tonks Penelope Hermione Daphne Cassandra Katie Angelina Rias
They were relaxed, drinking hot chocolate in the library while the rest of Hogwarts crammed like their lives depended on it.
Penelope:
"Keith's explanation of Transfiguration is easier than first-year arithmetic."
Daphne:
"Even Snape's potion theory makes sense now."
Hermione (in disbelief):
"I hate that he explained NEWT-level Charms using stick figures. And it worked."
Rias (smirking):
"Keith can teach a dragon how to read."
Helena:
"He basically did. He taught Vulpix numbers."
Keith casually flipped a page of a book.
Keith:
"I'm proud of all of you."
All of them blushed.
Hufflepuffs watching from afar whispered:
Hufflepuff 1:
"They're acting like NEWTs are a children's puzzle…"
Hufflepuff 2:
"I heard Keith solved Ancient Runes using doodles."
Hufflepuff 3:
"I want to join that study group…"
Hermione adjusted her glasses, smugly:
Hermione:
"He only teaches people who work hard, so keep dreaming."
Keith sipped his tea.
Meanwhile, in another corner—
Ron, panicking over exams:
"HOW DO YOU SPELL 'ACCIO'?!"
Neville:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN?!"
Seamus:
"IF THE POTION DOESN'T EXPLODE, AM I DOING IT WRONG?!"
A loud boom shook the library.
Madam Pince fainted.
Keith's Reaction
Keith looked up, dead inside.
Keith:
"…I should've stayed in France."
Rias nodded.
Dumbledore walked past holding three detention slips and muttering:
Dumbledore:
"…Should've stayed on vacation…"