"It cannot be helped."
"You're sure?"
"Master Roswaal did command me to aid Barusu."
Her acceptance, far easier gained than he had expected, bewildered Subaru all the more for it. But Ram folded her arms. "However," she said, continuing, "I am fine with going with you, but how? With Ram, that makes three people for one land dragon."
"…Ah…"
"Even if Barusu and Otto are only half a man in human terms, your physical weight is that of full men. Even for a land dragon, it is difficult to carry three people."
"You called me half a man?!"
Ignoring Otto's lament, Subaru clutched his head, seeing that Ram's view was sound.
He hadn't thought about the physical means. Given Ram's light body weight, adding her probably meant Patlash could still run with ease, but in that case, the way they'd be riding was—
"Considering safety, it'd be a Ram Sandwich between me and Otto… then?"
"Incidentally, there is also the option of one of us running rather than riding."
"In that case, considering fatigue and physical endurance, it'd definitely have to be Otto…"
The choice would make for a particularly tragic scene. Of course, Otto vociferously would protest—Subaru heard no such voice. Finding this quite unnatural, Subaru and Ram gave him a suspicious look.
Receiving the pair's gazes, Otto's cheeks were hard as he glared in the direction of the next day's sun.
At the end of his gaze, there was the bonfire that illuminated the settlement
—
"—Ain't you all havin' a nice lil' stroll 'n' chat. Why don't ya include me after I've come all this way?"
An orange-hued figure walked between them and the flickering red flames.
—A figure audibly clenching his sharp fangs, a smile coming over him, as a ferocious, ghastly aura emanated from him.
" "
Instantly, Patlash let out a low growl, her anger toward the figure clear. The sight of the proud land dragon preparing for battle deepened the figure's smile, his delight deepening still.
"Ha! Got whipped that much and not even a flinch. Fine woman, that land dragon. It's that whole 'The more she shines, the farther she is from Magrizza' thing."
"Garfiel…"
Subaru wrung out the word as the appearance of the figure—of Garfiel— made his body tremble.
Why was he there? Such a basic question clawed at his trembling heart.
The sight of him, the direct cause of his confinement, made him remember the darkness of those three days. The fear came back again, too. He touched his shoulders; he clenched his teeth; and driving back his terror, he lifted his head.
"…Right now, you're on duty as a representative. Should you really be wasting time in a place like this?"
"Me, I'm the protector o' these people of the Sanctuary. So if there's someone threatenin' 'em, of course I'm doin' my real job. Ya never shook off the eyes of the Sanctuary."
"The Sanctuary's eyes…?"
"I'm sayin' stuff comes right to me. So where the hell d'ya think yer goin', huh?"
Crinkling his nose, Garfiel asked Subaru what he was up to. Subaru hesitated to give the question a straight answer. But—
"—From here, we are getting Barusu out of the Sanctuary. Having him here is as much trouble for you as for us, so is this not more convenient for you, Garf?"
"…Ram."
"I shall say it once: this is your mess, Garf. Enough that I would appreciate hearing thanks for cleaning it up in your place."
Puffing up her chest, Ram provocatively conveyed the plan to Garfiel. For an instant, Subaru felt that was a very dangerous posture, but he held his tongue, judging that she'd probably chosen correctly.
Ram's point of view was correct. Surely, Garfiel, too, understood that Subaru's presence in the Sanctuary could only lead to an explosion. Getting him outside without an explosion was therefore a good plan.
Accordingly, Garfiel plucked at his own head in annoyance and responded.
"So ya see right through me, huh. Not a cute woman. Well, nothin' wrong with that…"
"…Meaning, you're considering letting us go?"
The words spat out along with a sigh made Subaru's eyes widen as he saw a glimmer of hope. The way he took that made Garfiel go "Aa?" with a sullen growl.
"Ya don't just smell o' the Witch, ya smell of trouble. Me, I do get why leavin' ya here ain't convenient. But put another way, I gotta consider
'Hoshin was Banan's setting sun'."
"Is that so? Another mystery phrase that doesn't make sense to me, but what you're getting at is…"
Erasing the fact of his imprisonment aligned with their mutual interests on that single point alone. But when Subaru was relieved, taking Garfiel's words as a statement that he'd let them go—the other two, stepped to the fore, interrupting his thoughts.
"Wh-what's with you two…?"
"I suppose your poor education means you do not understand, Barusu."
"'Hoshin was Banan's setting sun' refers to an anecdote about the legendary trader Hoshin bringing the small nation of Banan to ruin— It refers to giving the opponent two choices: surrender or face all-out attack."
"Surrender or face all-out attack… You don't mean!"
Along with the pair's statements, the vivid guardedness from Ram and Otto brought an abrupt change in Subaru's expression. Seeing this, Garfiel folded his arms, loudly cracking the bones of his neck.
Then, he bared his sharp fangs, militancy gleaming from his jade eyes.
"Garf! What's the meaning of this? Are you too stupid to understand the meaning of Ram's words?"
"Ya better watch how ya say that stuff, Ram. I might be in love with ya, but that don't mean I won't twist yer arm. Look, just get 'im back to where he was before, 'kay?"
"M-man, you really want me in a cell. Maybe this sounds like begging for my life, but I really am a coward. Me being here is nothing but bad news, and letting me go is going for the low, low price of free, so shouldn't we aim for that?"
"'Confusing price for bargain brings ruin.' That was one of Hoshin's sayings, too."
Saying something similar to there is nothing more expensive than something offered for free, Garfiel refuted and rejected his proposal. He couldn't understand the obstinate posture. For what reason was Garfiel so obsessed with Subaru?
"Me, I can't let a shady guy like you outside. Better ya stay inside with me, the strongest guy around."
"That decision might court Master Roswaal's displeasure. After all, to
Master Roswaal, Subaru is—"
Cutting off her words there, Ram suggestively glanced sidelong at Subaru. Subaru, ignorant of the gaze's meaning, was perplexed, whereupon Ram looked back at Garfiel and carried on.
"A useless servant… It is best to discard him, yes."
"I'm pretty amazed you can say that in this situation, Big Sis…"
The way Ram was covering for him before abandoning him midway made Subaru forget his situation as it depleted his morale. However, the target of the statement took it in a completely different way.
"Worsen Roswaal's mood…?"
" "
That instant, Subaru's entire body went tense, feeling goosebumps all over his flesh. When he looked at them, Ram and Otto's cheeks had hardened as well, eyes looking forward, warily watching as Garfiel stood before them.
"And just how much is that bastard thinkin' of here and of the old women?
He ain't. That bastard only thinks of himself! Ram! Even you know that!"
"Garf, Master Roswaal…"
"Shaddap, shaddap, shaddap! The hell do you know about the bastard! Last warning! Hand him over! I'm gonna tie him up, and you two are gonna shut up and wait—"
Flying into a rage, Garfiel had no ears with which to hear as he unleashed an angry shout. His ferocious fighting spirit proceeded to surge upward, and along with it, Subaru sensed Garfiel's very flesh growing all at once.
But that instant, as if on reflex, the situation broke into motion.
"—Miss Ram!"
"Go!!"
"Whaaa?!"
The same time as Subaru heard the hard-pressed voices, an arm wrapped around Subaru's body. It was Otto's. Without asking permission, he hoisted Subaru right up.
"Patlash—?!"
Patlash ferociously broke into a run, practically scooping Subaru and Otto up onto her back.
With Subaru's eyes wide open from the unexpected turn of events, Otto paid no heed to him, gripping the reins—and Patlash, squatting to raise her speed, darted out of the night-shrouded settlement.
"Damn it, ya lil' minion—!!"
"You have no time to be distracted, Garf!"
"—!! Won't let ya get in the way of my vow!!"
The voice, bellowing with anger, was snuffed out by the howling gale.
Subaru sensed the two forces powerfully exploding, bouncing off one another, but his mind couldn't catch up. Right next to him, cheeks hard, Otto kept hold of his torso, nothing more. He raised his voice. "W-wait, Otto! Why leave Ram in a place like that?!"
"Any longer and you would be in peril! This is my and Miss Ram's decision!"
Shouting back in an angry voice, Subaru gritted his teeth as he squinted behind him. The bonfire had been bowled over, rendering his vision vague. But he could hear angry voices mixed with the sound of ferociously whipping wind.
Considering fighting strengths, it was the best choice for holding off a Garfiel turned hostile. But the logical issue wasn't something his emotions were capable of endorsing.
"—!!!"
His brain was tied into knots from doubts and confusion when a sharp, high-pitched sound slammed into his eardrums.
The source of the sound was very close; in tangible terms, from Otto through his own fingers. The high-pitched sound reverberated throughout the night-shrouded Sanctuary, only to echo twice and then a third time.
"Is that finger-whistling some kind of signal?!"
"…It is a means I had rather hoped not to employ. I would rather have done without."
"Don't say deeply suggestive stuff like that! Ram's still there; any more chaos and…"
Colluding with Patlash, Otto had contrived to escape without Subaru's input. Though he wondered what Otto was still hiding, Subaru, his voice ragged, immediately realized just what it was.
"—Aa"
It was not to the back but the fore that one light after another was lit along the sprinting land dragon's path.
These were not the red lights of torches but the white lights of crystal lanterns. They were guiding lights, showing the way through the Lost Forest.
And the people carrying those guiding lights amid the darkness were— "The people of Earlham Village…"
"—I told you. We have reassuring sympathizers!"
The blow from the words spoken by Otto made Subaru's chest tighten.
Sympathizers, this was what Otto was calling the people lending a hand to help Subaru. Subaru had thought that Ram was that sympathizer, and that it was Ram alone offering her aid.
"—Master Subaru! Please be safe!"
The instant he passed one of the lights, the man holding the crystal lantern raised his voice. Naturally, it was a familiar face. It was one of the villagers at the Cathedral, who was yearning to be reunited with his family and placing his hope in Emilia breaking through the Trial.
He wasn't the only one cooperating by any means. The settlement, the forest, held as many allies as it held lights.
"You said if they knew, they'd explode…"
"And as a matter of fact, they did! So they had me keep quiet to you about it! With Mr. Natsuki escaping, they did not wish to become shackles!"
" "
He couldn't tell what it meant. Otto's shout, the villagers' consideration…he couldn't tell what any of it meant.
Why were they doing such a thing? Shackles, who, on whom? There were countless lights floating amid the darkness.
" !"
Patlash made a short neigh, seemingly to display respect for the devoted villagers that had made the path of light.
Even Patlash, who knew the correct path through the Lost Woods, had no guarantee of not being swallowed by the darkness. The white light wiped away that uncertainty, and as she followed it, the land dragon's speed gradually outstripped that of the wind.
"This way! Farther in, Master Subaru!"
"Mr. Otto, take good care of Master Subaru!"
"Please stop trying to die before us elderly folks, Master Subaru…!"
Both bodies and hearts were crouched as many, so many, voices were tossed in Subaru's direction. The voices reverberated as the villagers desperately, earnestly, wholeheartedly called out Subaru's name.
"Why are you all doing something as stupid as…"
"That is not very convincing coming from you, Master Subaru!"
Unable to put the emotions filling him in order, the near-lament Subaru let out brought pained smiles. When he looked up, straight ahead was a large, distinctive tree—with multiple villagers standing at its roots.
"Go straight from here and you'll cut straight through the barrier! Then you can get away!"
"And you all?!"
"We'll slow down the pursuit! Why, giving Master Subaru time to get away is the least we can do…"
The figures numbered five, a group of male youths. The five men were poorly equipped, but even so, they had decided to hold Garfiel off for as many seconds they could with stubbornness and guts.
In staying behind, Ram had probably calculated along the same lines as they—
" !!!!!"
A roar bellowed across the forest, and the next instant, Subaru was swallowed up by a ferocious shockwave.
5
"—. . aa"
Ting, went the ringing in his ears. Subaru slowly opened his eyes.
The instant they opened, his head heavily swayed. He'd fallen to the ground. And yet, his semicircular canals had lost track of the world, and he kept rocking right and left, as if swaying on top of a wave.
The world was covered in a dense cloud of dirt. With a heave, something flowed backward from his stomach. It was liquefied food, water, and stomach fluid. It tasted bitter and acidic. He wiped it with his sleeve, laid his head down, and…
"—Aa"
In the world inclined at ninety degrees, he saw a hole gouged out of the ground, a great broken tree, and a crouching figure.
—Subaru saw a single giant tiger covered in golden fur.
" "
The ferocious tiger's body was crouched low. Its jade eyes were looking down at the fallen Subaru.
Its body length was about twelve feet long, far larger than the tigers Subaru knew.
Its four legs were very thick, and its closed mouth could not contain all the fangs growing therein.
At a glance, the visual broadcast the menace that the tiger's very presence presented.
"…uu"
The blow, the circumstances, made him think of something very similar he'd recently experienced amid the tragedy at the mansion the last time around—when he'd lost Petra to the attack of a demon beast.
" "
Desperately pivoting his head, Subaru turned his eyes to the area around him. At the base of the broken tree lay the young men, sent flying from the shockwave. From very close, he heard Otto's groaning voice; he sensed Patlash, too.
Everyone was alive, if only barely. They hadn't been allowed to die.
After all, their opponent was— "Gar, fi…el…"
A distinctive loincloth was still tied around the lower half of his enormous frame. He immediately realized that this was one and the same as that Garfiel wore around his hips. The sight of Frederica's beast form was in the back of his mind. Simultaneously, the truth of the blood connection between her and Garfiel was laid thoroughly bare.
—The ferocious tiger before him was the transfigured Garfiel.
In a matter of seconds, Garfiel had broken past Ram, ferociously chasing Subaru and Otto down. As for how much combat strength his bestialized form possessed, all Subaru knew for certain was that no one could help him.
It was over, he thought. He could escape no further. But he was strongly determined about one thing alone.
"I'll do as you, say…but just don't…"
Don't hurt anyone else. Don't kill anyone else—he declared, just not that.
Frederica had proven that however ferocious a bestial form appeared, it was still possible to think logically in that state. He knew Garfiel, having exposed that form to them, was serious. However, Subaru was serious, too.
Even if he had to return to that darkness, he didn't want anyone else to get hurt.
—This, from Subaru Natsuki, who could fairly say he feared that darkness more than death.
" "
Without a word, he sat up and rose to his feet. The large tiger received his gaze, equally wordless.
The tiger simply stared and narrowed the distance. Subaru swallowed, close enough to feel the breath coming from the beast's snout. He proceeded to await Garfiel's decision, for him to release the transfiguration and return to his normal fo—
"—Eh?"
Gently, the world slowed down. In that extreme situation, his brain awakened, moving beyond the limits of comprehension.
In that sluggish world, he saw the ferocious tiger raise a front paw high, unleashing its razor-sharp claws. Even if he tried to immediately move his body, the thoughts of his awakened brain would have no effect upon his body.
The talons sharper than naked blades would lethally mow Subaru's torso apart—
"—You big idiot!!"
The loud voice slammed into his side, and simultaneously, a blow sent Subaru flying.
Before his eyes, crimson scattered. The world was still in slow motion. Red blood mixed in with the black of night, and a silhouette cried out in agony as it fell. The silhouette that had shielded Subaru, Otto Suwen…fell.
The claw gouged out his chest and abdomen, sending blood gushing out onto Subaru's cheek.
"Wha…"
Wound. Fresh blood. Shielded. Great tiger, surrender, darkness. Garfiel, Otto, talons, Return by Death, Petra, transfiguration, demands, why, why, whywhywhy—
"Gaaaarfiiiiellll—!!"
Subaru, howling with the emotions exploding in his gut, witnessed the ferocious tiger's wicked deed with bloodshot eyes.
His brain seethed with ferocious emotion, fury changing the blood in his body to gasoline. Coursing through his entire body, they poured onto the fires of his rage, causing a chain reaction of hot explosions burning his thoughts, his emotions, and his life away.
He shouted, he howled, in an incoherent voice. That moment, there was only anger and hatred within him. He wanted to burn the monster before his eyes to cinders. If anger and hatred became power, he would have ripped the monster asunder.
" !!!!"
But his voice was not imbued with the power to change fate.
Subaru's scream was blotted out by an even greater roar, and it seemed he would be the one to be killed instead. In fact, the voice accompanied the ferocious tiger raising an arm, slamming down with a blow identical to the one launched at Otto.
It would penetrate his skull, rip out his rib cage, gouge out his inner organs, and with it, his life—he would die a squishy death.
" "
He closed his eyes. With impending death before his eyes, Subaru swore to make him pay in the next world. He would get revenge. The flames of his anger would not abate. I'll chew you to pieces.
Carving hatred upon his soul, Subaru awaited the moment. And yet, the surely approaching end failed to arrive. The timing of his death had been thrown off. Why? He opened his eyes, glaring at the great tiger.
The ferocious tiger remained right there, arm still raised. The single point of difference was that the beast's jade eyes were aimed not at Subaru but off to the side.
Subaru followed that gaze. Something was flying in from the end of that gaze, striking the ferocious tiger's head. Making a light sound, something fell to the ground and rolled around. It was a completely unremarkable rock.
The thrower of the rock was one of the young men of the village, blood flowing from his forehead as he wobbled to his feet.
"Get away from…Master Subaru, you, filthy monster…"
Wringing out his voice, groaning in pain, the young man strongly demonstrated his own intent.
It was clumsy, weak, ephemeral resistance against a ferocious beast he could not defeat. The other young men stood up, picking up the rocks and branches at their own feet, wielding them as weapons.
"H…ey…"
What do you think you're doing? he tried to say, to halt their recklessness.
Where do you think you're looking? he tried to say, slamming his deep resentment into the ferocious tiger.
He didn't understand— But it was so simple to imagine the result that would follow, even a child could do it.
" "
The ferocious tiger swung his claw, and fresh blood gushed. This continued a second and a third time.
There was the agonizing sound of death cries, the watery sound of the sharp gouging of flesh, the scream enough to ruin Subaru's throat— Why. Why. Whywhywhywhy. Why.
"Whyyyyyy—!!!"
He grabbed hold of the beast before his eyes. He bit into its thick hide. It threw him off. The blow had taken his front teeth with it. His thought process was overheated. He spat out blood and teeth, and leaped again. The tail slammed him from the side, easily blowing him into the air, and he landed on the ground, limbs spread out.
It was no time to sleep on the job. Stand, stand, if anyone's gonna die here, you die first.
"W—ait, up… If anyone dies, it should be me… Let the others…!" If he was going to kill anyone, just kill Subaru first.
In the first place, Subaru had to be Garfiel's target. There was no reason to take the lives of such gallant, kindhearted men. He categorically rejected that. There wasn't any reason at all, and yet— "—U, aa?"
As Subaru clenched his teeth and coughed out blood, his body was hoisted upward.
There were blood-ridden black scales right next to him—Patlash. The profuse volume of blood coursing from her was visible proof that she had shielded Subaru from the ferocious tiger's initial attack. Her wounds were deep; she was half alive, half dead. Just like back at the mansion, Patlash was protecting Subaru even at the verge of death.
"That's…enough… That's enough. It's enough, Patlash…"
He begged her to stop. As Subaru clung to her, the deeply benevolent land dragon rejected his plea.
As she took Subaru in her mouth, there was a powerful will residing in Patlash's yellow eyes. With reserves of strength unthinkable for one near death, she rose on two legs.
To protect Subaru, to get him off the battlefield, the land dragon left behind those desperately fighting, ferociously breaking into a run once more.
" "
Don't leave everyone behind, he tried to shout.
The instant he forced himself to look back, he saw the last person sent flying into pieces in the far distance. With a roar, the twin jade eyes swayed in the darkness, chasing after Subaru and the land dragon as they fled.
He was too fast. The distance was closing. Even if they ran, it was meaningless. Why was Patlash running?
"—Aa"
Putting strength into her jaws, Patlash's head twisted as she hurled Subaru as hard as she could manage. She hurled him forward, to get him even a little farther away from the menace, putting every inch of devotion into the act.
Then, as Subaru danced in the air, he realized that there was something, a light, twinkling in his pocket.
" "
The crystal. Frederica's crystal. The stone in his pocket was shimmering blue.
Instantly, he understood. Patlash hadn't grabbed Subaru and run without a plan. She was sending Subaru as far as the barrier—to a place the menace of the ferocious tiger's fangs, the menace of Garfiel, could not reach.
"Patlash!"
As the world spun around him, he sought her, called out her name. Miraculously, they exchanged gazes.
In her yellow, narrow, reptilian irises, he saw a glint of impossible compassion.
" "
The claw of the pursuing ferocious dragon slammed into the pitch-black land dragon's side. Patlash was severed in two.
Without even raising a death cry, the loyal dragon perished, doing her utmost for Subaru until the very end.
" "
That was the same, too. It was completely the same result as at the mansion. His friends had died, his beloved dragon had died, his brain and his blood boiled.
He rolled onto the ground. A light glimmered. Had he gone past the barrier? Like he cared. The ferocious beast, the wild creature, rushed toward his eyes. It leaped, passing through the barrier, killing intent undiminished.
" "
There was a crash.
Instantly, light welled up, and Subaru Natsuki was bathed in blue.
—He had teleported.
6
When he regained consciousness, the first thing Subaru felt was a fiercely stimulating, repulsive stench.
" "
The foul stench, one that was impossible to forget, thrust itself into his nostrils.
The scent was like some kind of chemical. It made Subaru grimace as he sat up from the cold floor. He coughed as his body creaked with pain. Coughing more, he slowly put a hand on the wall and stood up.
The handkerchief on his wrist was grimy with dried blood and vomit. With that, he confirmed the passage of time and the fact he had not Returned by Death. He had not died. The world had continued after the tragedy.
—In the back of his mind, images arose of people felled by the claws of a ferocious tiger, one after another, and of his beloved dragon's final moment.
"…Ugh."
He had survived. For whatever reason, he had survived.
His chest was choked with remorse that made him want to die that very moment. Subaru resisted the impulse to sever his tongue with his teeth, putting his weight against the wall as he unsteadily walked forward.
The stench made it easy for Subaru to understand just what that place was.
Groping through his memories, dragging his feet, he grudgingly dragged himself forward, heading for the exit.
He was in the building in which he had been imprisoned. He didn't know why he had made the jump to that place. But he instinctively understood that the crystal was the cause and that it had come in contact with the barrier.
"—!"
He grasped the crystal in his pocket and hurled it away. The stone made a light sound as it tumbled somewhere far away. The stone had no value any longer. Not in that world. Not then.
—It was a finished world. It was a world he had to bring to an end.
" "
Before granting himself death, he went to gaze at the world he had to bring to an end.
He had to take a good, hard look, drink it down, and smash it into dust.
After all, it was the duty of Subaru Natsuki to die when it was his time.
Straight ahead, the exit of the small building was near. The white wall his fingers were touching was so cold, it made them numb. The light filtering in from the outside made him narrow his eyes. During his time unconscious, night had ended, and morning had come.
It seemed that Garfiel had not realized he was there. Lazy bastard, thought Subaru, exhaling a white breath, walking outside when—
"—Ah?"
—The snow blanketing the world was a blow far beyond his expectations.
7
Comprehension and despair, layered atop one another, canceling each other out over and over.
—Subaru's soul blazed, for the painting was a portrait of hell.
Subaru had meant to exhaust himself to the brink of death to overwrite such a scene. In point of fact, he had crossed death twice, something that surely put him in reach of the painting's brush.
Little did he know that the instant he touched the brush, the details of the painting had morphed into a different hell.
"—Ha-ha."
The wintery world made his breath a white cloud, and as he trod through the snow, Subaru put his hands on his seemingly gasping knees.
It had already been several hours since he had left the structure, walking aimlessly ever since. Subaru safely reaching the settlement the night before had been thanks to Otto leading the way via his blessing.
At present, he was without that, in the heart of the Lost Woods of Cremaldi—the landscape changed abruptly by the falling snow, with not a single thing to aid him present.
"Sh—it…!"
His endurance was depleted, the snowy landscape's low temperature robbing his body of warmth. To prevent a drop in body temperature, even to a tiny extent, Subaru tied Petra's handkerchief around his forehead before resuming his walk once more.
"My promise with Petra…"
The sun had risen high. There was no longer any way to prevent the tragedy from befalling the mansion.
He'd been unable to do anything. He hadn't saved Petra or Frederica. Probably not Rem, either. Beatrice was still clutching that magic tome; Otto was dead; Patlash was dead; what had happened to Ram? Garfiel, Roswaal, what were they thinking? Emilia was—
"But I'll…"
He'd take it all back. He'd redo everything. It was his duty to walk the path where everything was right.
Only Subaru could do it. It was something Subaru had to do.
For that reason, the memory of everything that had been lost had to continue in Subaru alone.
For that reason, the sacrifices paid for it had to continue on inside of Subaru.
For that reason, Subaru, and Subaru alone, had to pay a commensurate price.
He'd pay the commensurate price. He'd let the casualties pile up. And then, he'd bring everything back.
" "
The instant his responsibility to do what had to be done burned within him, the forest opened before Subaru's eyes.
The landscape he thought would continue forever ended, and he rushed into the settlement, which was also buried in snow.
He wasn't surprised. He was already resigned. There, a giant tiger would suddenly blot out his vision, as he died laughing with nothing but hatred burning within him. His heart had long frozen over.
However, contrary to his resignation, the ferocious tiger did not appear.
No, rather than that— "No one's here…?"
The fallen bonfire had vanished in the snow. He couldn't sense that anyone was present in the Sanctuary whatsoever.
He couldn't pass it off saying it was a low-population settlement to begin with. It felt like an uninhabited wasteland.
Indeed, he couldn't see even a single footstep on the accumulated white snow. There was no sign of anyone walking around.
"Snow fell… No one's here…"
Touching a hand to his forehead, he dug his nails into his forehead as he began to doubt his own sanity.
The Sanctuary was filled with tranquility. There was no sign of human presence, nor the sound of any insect. From time to time, he heard only the sound of the leaves swaying in the wind, a change announced by the faint shift in his eardrums. He heard nothing in this world—
"—Aa?"
In that soundless world, that white-marred hell, he was taken back by a change within.
At first, Subaru sensed something like a white ball of wool tumbling in the wind. However, he immediately understood that it was no ball of wool at all. It rolled to Subaru's feet, and there, made a tiny tremble. Then Subaru, eyes wide, realized it had two long ears protruding from it.
It had long ears, a soft white pelt, short legs, and two red eyes. With a tilt of its head, its mouth moved in unhurried fashion as it made a high-pitched kii.
"Rab…bit…?"
Subaru's eyes beheld a rabbit and a particularly small one at that.
The rabbit was as small as Subaru's closed fist, a creature no larger than
a mouse. The long ears characteristic of a rabbit were fairly short and, combined with its round tail, all of the parts were in order, if at a very compact size.
In the Sanctuary, where insect, animal, land dragon, man, and all others had vanished in the snow, a rabbit had suddenly appeared.
"Why is a rabbit here…? …Should a rabbit be here?"
An inexhaustible supply of mysteries was born, and the crush of information made Subaru feel like even his brain wanted to retch. Was the rabbit at his feet a clue for learning what had happened in the Sanctuary? Clinging to that thought, he stretched a hand toward the rabbit— The next instant, from the wrist down, Subaru's hand was ripped off.
"…Aeegh?"
Blood gushed out of the raggedly cut wound; his reddish-black arteries drooped downward. Perhaps the thin white threads pulled out were muscle fibers or nerves. Either way, the spectacle of human flesh being destroyed was particularly grotesque.
Such evasion of the reality of his lost hand prevailed for exactly two seconds—whereupon his brain was wrecked by the ferocious pain from another dimension.
"G, aah?! Uoaa! Aaa, gaggaaaa—!!!" The world blazed white.
His mind, dominated by pain, had lost all pain ability to recognize pain reality. What pain had happened that pain he had to endure such pain? What was the cause of pain? What had pain happened? Why this pain? Pain, painpainpain—
Agonizing further and further, he pressed his blood-spilling left wrist against the ground. Unwittingly, he bit into the snow, a seemingly meaningless mixture of ice and mud. He tasted the soil, crunched down the ice, and his vision whirled in search of what had happened— At his feet, the white ball of wool had red spots scattered over its pelt. It was moving its mouth.
It was chewing. Subaru could see his fingers hanging out of its moving little mouth. He understood. It had been eaten.
His hand had been eaten.
"G— Gaaaaa—!!"
An understanding he didn't want to be aware of, a pain he didn't want to feel; the agony dragged his spirit toward madness.
His mind was like stained glass as it cracked, shattering and turning into vestiges of fine sand.
"Gi—iihigiiii!!!"
And yet, pain had roused his shattered mind.
He felt a burning sensation in his calf. His eyes reeled from a stimulus like flesh and bone being mercilessly raked by a file. Reddish-black bubbles poured into the middle of his throat, causing him to convulse like a fish out of water. He didn't faint. He couldn't. The pain was too strong for that. The pain was too strong for that. The cruel pain forced his mind to remain awake.
Kii, kii, went the countless cries that his eardrums picked up.
The number of these high-pitched voices was vast, and he was surrounded by presences he couldn't bother to count. His eyeballs were already derelict in their duty, having giving up on looking at his surroundings. That was a mercy.
He was glad it was only his ears still working. He could not have borne the sight.
" "
Fangs tore into his entire body. From the feeling of the fangs biting into him, he knew it was a horde.
He screamed. He rolled onto his back, sending his voice toward the heavens. That very moment, he sensed something furry enter his mouth, ripping out his tongue. His throat was violated, opening a path from his windpipe to his stomach, from which his viscera could be voraciously eaten. He was being chewed away.
Fangs invaded from his anus, crashing inside his body against those that had entered from the mouth. As if in a contest, they raced left and right to consume his inner organs, making mincemeat out of Subaru Natsuki.
He was alive. He was being eaten alive. He could feel his flesh being torn into fragments.
He wasn't afraid. He couldn't feel pain anymore. He didn't even know where his mind was.
He was being eaten. He was being consumed. His left eye was eaten. His ears were gone. His inner organs had been torn away, and just then, the skin of his face was ripped off. A hole was opened in his skull, and fangs thrust into his brain—
—.
.
.
aa—.
8
His flesh…had been rebuilt.
The torn, consumed flesh of his cheeks, the ripped-off skin of his face, his bitten-apart skull, his chewed-away nerves, his lapped-up blood, and his fiendishly violated, ravenously consumed soul—were restored to their former state.
"—aa"
Blood passed into his fingertips, and Subaru's entire body ferociously convulsed.
On the cold, hard floor, Subaru moaned as froth gushed out, his eyes rolling in every direction.
There was no pain. There was no sense of loss. His four limbs were connected to his torso, and his chest had all of the viscera required to sustain life. His flesh and blood had been returned to him. But what of the spirit that had been eaten apart?
Whose mind could return to the world of the sane, when the memory of being "devoured" was still fresh?
"B, b, b…!"
Subaru slammed his head against the ground as if he was having a seizure. His brain bounced back from the hard blow, making his brain shake. For a moment, the vestiges of having been chewed away eased. In search of this, he repeated the act.
—Why.
It was not his spirit or his flesh, but his soul, which refused to acknowledge reality.
With the most critical part of his decision-making systems refusing to reboot, Subaru Natsuki could not return.
But his soul repeated the word why over and over again, searching for an answer.
What had occurred? Just what had happened? Why had such a thing taken place? Why did it have to be that way? What was happening with him now?
What to do? What should he do?
—Why, why, why, why, why.
No answer came forth. Before that vague thesis, not even a written problem, his soul simply broke into lament.
—Why! Why! Why!!
Drowning in reality, haunted by a nightmare, having lost sight of the path of life, all he could do was ask himself, "Why?"
For that was—
"—Once more, you have gained the qualifications."
As Subaru made little trembles, he heard a whisper-like voice in his ear. "I invite thee— Come to the Witches' Tea Party."
The next instant, the soul of Subaru Natsuki returned but moments before, was once again severed from reality.
CHAPTER 5
THE WITCHES' TEA PARTY
1
Atop a small hill jutting up from a verdant plain, a gentle wind reminiscent of spring blew.
Subaru's forelocks and the tall, green grass swayed in the wind as cumulonimbus clouds danced, racing toward the blue yonder.
" "
Subaru touched his forehead, tickled by the wind, and narrowed his eyes at the dazzling sun rays. Then, he slowly brought his gaze down from the sky, reorienting it straight ahead.
At some point, Subaru had come to sit in a white chair. It was large, resembling an easy chair, and before his eyes, there was a small pure-white table. Across from the table, in an identical chair, sat a figure with her long legs crossed.
She was a beautiful girl with long hair, precious little of her white skin exposed, and beyond that, everything was covered in black clothing—
"—That's not quite accurate. More like, you're a bound spirit that's spent four centuries unable to move on."
"Quite a greeting, such short shrift the very moment we are reunited? In the first place, where I am concerned, I was nineteen years of age at the time of my death—therefore my outward appearance is that of a young maiden much the same age as you?"
"Dying at nineteen is straight-up heavy stuff… Sorry. I shouldn't joke about the dead."
"—? Quite a laudable response. I suppose we have not known each other long enough for me to say that is not like you?"
As Subaru leaned forward, his fists opening and closing, the girl—the Witch Echidna—narrowed her eyes in apparent deep interest. She rested an elbow upon the table, and her cheek against her palm, provocatively looking back at Subaru with a sidelong glance as she spoke.
"It is rare for the same guest to be invited to a tea party twice. It does not happen often at all. You should be proud!"
"A host shouldn't be so blunt to the guest. If I stop being honestly thankful, where will you be then?"
"Oh, my! Then you intended to be honestly thankful to me, yes?"
"Ugh…"
When Echidna hit the bull's-eye, Subaru averted his gaze from her suppressed laugh. Thanks to his mental state just prior, he'd blithely let the words slip. But that "mental state just prior" was the very issue at hand.
"I…was in the tomb…"
The words he was too frightened to add were, going crazy.
As a matter of fact, Subaru's spirit had completely broken down. That was how much death that time around had carved indelible wounds into his soul, combined with how repeated Return by Death experiences had beaten him down.
He'd rather have his mouth rent than ever speak the words accustomed to death. But he thought he was prepared for it.
So very easily, that assumption had been ripped away— "But right now, I'm fine. So normal it feels bad."
"You don't like that? You would rather lose your cool, fall into a panic, pathetically bawl your eyes out?"
"…I'm not saying I want stuff like that. I thought you understood,
Echidna."
"I suppose so. Right now I'm being an evil tease. Sorry, I just wanted to smack you around a bit."
Sensing the rebuke in his voice, Echidna raised both hands as if to declare surrender. Then, with a flutter of her palm, she went, "It's just,"—tilting her head as she said—
"I did not invite you to this tea party merely to tease you. Had I not done so, your mind would have shattered… You are aware of that, perhaps?"
"That's why I was honestly going to thank you out loud, sheesh. Then you…"
"I see. It seems my words and deeds carry the same faults as they did in life. Now then, I would like to properly hear your words of thanks right now
— Well, knock yourself out."
With a wry smile, Echidna puffed out her chest, a posture for accepting words of thanks. Staring at the smug, proud look on her face, Subaru took in a deep breath, exhaling at length.
If he had to break it down into raw terms, she was being a very witchy witch.
"—? What is wrong; anytime is good?"
"…Is the reason I returned to form the instant I came here that I drank your tea before?"
"Ahhh, I would suppose so. The tea set your Witch Factor into motion to promote stabilization. Leaving and entering the tea party does not cause it to lose its effect… Incidentally, the words of thanks?"
"That so? I'm just a little relieved. Should I understand that to mean it'll continue when I go outside?"
"Because we are discussing your mental state. Since you have regained your cool... I suppose if you were to remember about this place, you might retain your peace of mind even outside of the dream. So hey, the thanks?"
The reply, including how she said it like it didn't concern her, made Subaru's breath catch.
If he were to remember this place, Echidna had said. As a matter of fact, that made things very difficult. The fact he'd come into contact with the witch twice, forgetting both times, proved the vow was at work.
The vow had made Subaru forget Echidna. As a result, Subaru had lost sight of even himself.
"—Echidna, is there a way to rewrite a vow?"
"Huh?"
"Is there a way to leave here without forgetting about you? As long as the vow makes me forget you, my mind will break. Isn't that right?"
"Well, it is, but…"
"Besides, it's not just an issue of my mind. Even setting that aside, I want to remember you."
"—Eh?"
Yes. It was not an issue of Subaru's mind alone. Remembering Echidna's existence was a necessary piece to unravel the mysteries of the Sanctuary and prevent it from changing into that hell.
That was why Subaru thrust his hands onto the table, drawing near enough to the Witch's face he could feel her breath, and made a firm declaration. "If you need compensation, I'll pay anything else. In return—"
" "
"Don't hide my memories."
"—O-okay…"
In the face of Subaru's strong demand, Echidna acted particularly awkward, nodding meekly.
Her demeanor gave him an odd feeling, but the reply was a yes. I did it, thought Subaru, clapping his hands as he celebrated.
"Got you to say it! Big help! No taking it back!"
"I would not do such a shameless thing. I would not, but…you are somewhat underhanded, I think."
Subaru cocked his head in confusion at the sudden accusation. His response made Echidna turn her face with a fairly sour look. Then, the Witch indicated the opposing chair to Subaru as she said,
"Anyway, I understand what you have said. For now, do sit. Let us take our time and speak."
"Yeah…er, I don't have time for all that. More importantly, gotta take care of the vow business…"
"—I prefer you do not misunderstand, Subaru Natsuki."
Her lackadaisical demeanor quickened Subaru's mood. Echidna called out to him when he tried to hurry things up. The words brought him to a halt.
For some reason, her tone of voice carried a power that was difficult to defy. Then, as Subaru swallowed, Echidna—or rather, the Witch—continued.
"Rewriting a vow is not a difficult thing in itself. Nor do I mind how you are boldly stating things that are difficult to say. But I will not have statements ignorant of your position."
" "
"In the end, you are a guest invited to this tea party. And this castle of dreams is my territory.
"Under my rule. If you say things that are simply too selfish, it becomes an issue of my honor."
Her voice was quiet, with no change in its tenor; only the voice's power had changed.
Having changed the atmosphere to such an extent, her eyes of bottomless darkness gazed up at Subaru.
—Therein rested the supernatural being known as a Witch.
"…a, uu"
The feeling of oppression grabbed firm hold of his soul, making Subaru recall the initial impression he'd had of Echidna: namely, his terror toward an overwhelming menace outstripping even the White Whale and the Witch of Sloth.
And that Echidna, the Witch of Greed, the Witch of white and black before his eyes, lived up to both name and title.
"Having been invited to this tea party, you have a duty to behave politely.
That only makes sense, yes?"
With Subaru's spiritual body marred with an unbecoming level of cold sweat, the Witch stroked her own white hair as she continued. With his throat and tongue feeling dry and his breathing ragged, Subaru barely managed to wring out a reply.
"Politeness as a guest, you mean…"
"It is quite simple. I am the hostess; you are the guest— Let us behave as such."
The feeling of oppression was intact as Echidna slowly reached out with a hand. The Witch's slender fingers touched the table, tapping upon its surface thrice.
Her fingertips indicated a point atop the table—upon which rested an untouched, steaming cup.
"…Ah?"
"If you are a guest to a tea party, you should begin by accepting tangible proof of your invitation. Is that not proper?"
"…! You're not easy to understand."
"I am a Witch, after all. It would be a shame for normal girls if you were to lump me in with them, would it not?"
Smiling as if she'd pulled a fast one on him, the sense of oppression from Echidna's demeanor dissipated. Subaru felt like the mental anguish she'd inflicted as revenge for his rudeness was completely over the top, but at any rate…
"Shit… I get it, geez!"
Clicking his tongue, he snatched the cup from the table and poured the liquid down the hatch. Even though time had passed since its pouring, its temperature had not diminished at all, as might be expected of tea served by a Witch.
Subaru strongly gulped it down, concerning himself little with the taste, and raggedly wiped his lips with his sleeve.
"Well, I swallowed it down. Now you'll accept me as a guest of the tea party?"
"Having my bodily fluids swallowed down with such fervor… Mmm, it makes me blush a little."
"Gehhh! I forgot about that—!!!"
The Dona Tea Trap was at the first tea party, and upon his second arrival, Subaru had fallen hook, line, and sinker for it once more.
The sight of her guest earnestly retching on the spot made the Witch hostess's shoulders sink in chagrin. After that, the Witch abruptly clapped her hands together, seemingly just remembering something as she spoke up.
"Come to think of it, your words of thanks? I feel as if I have not heard them yet…"
"Thank you for pouring me tea that tastes like shit! You damned Witch!"
Though he thanked her just as she told him to, Echidna was less than thrilled with the words of gratitude he provided.
2
Beginning with Subaru and Echidna sitting on opposite ends of the table once more, the tea party recommenced.
Just like the previous time around, he had been unable to expel the Dona Tea he had absorbed no matter how desperately he retched. Pretending that nothing had happened, Subaru sought to blot out his sense of nausea with his sense of duty as he attended the tea party.
"Having the bodily fluids I offered rejected to that extent wounds my maidenly heart."
"A maiden wouldn't talk about offering bodily fluids once in her whole life. More importantly, I want to continue talking about important stuff. About the vow issue, you promise to… Nah, you'll do it, then?"
"You have an aversion toward the word promise, do you? This, too, I accept."
The joking exchange weighed on his mind, but Subaru was relieved he'd gained a firm promise from her: that even when he woke from the dream, he would not forget Echidna's existence. This would surely prove a necessary key to finding the answer to the Witch's laboratory known as the Sanctuary.
Having gained confirmation on that point, there was one other thing he wanted to confirm with the Witch—
"—Echidna, how much do you know about my circumstances?"
"What I know is how much I want to know about you. And how much I want to know is all there is to know in the entire world."
"Don't kid about this. I'm sure you've realized how weird it is that I'm here at all."
"That is not so. You fulfilled the conditions to be invited to the tea party —you reached my territory, and in that place, you were filled with such longing for some reason. And that desire aroused my Greed—"
Echidna made a play on words, whereupon Subaru placed his hand on the table once more.
By this he indicated he didn't mind playing along with the tea party…but he had no intention of playing along with a farce.
"It is strange. I mean, from your point of view, I only just left, right?"
" "
"I returned from the Trial…from overcoming my past. And here I am, right after that."
The reference point for that loop was set to right after he'd overcome the first Trial.
Even though Subaru had returned, he ought to have been in the stone room in the tomb. That was both immediately after his conversation with Echidna had concluded, and to the Witch, an extremely quick reunion—
"You're so smart, there's no way you wouldn't find that strange. If you don't, that could only mean…"
"…Could only mean?"
Hesitating to continue his words, Echidna gave his hesitant back a proverbial shove. He breathed in, then out.
If Echidna did not harbor suspicions about their reunion, that meant— "—You know the circumstances that caused it."
" "
When Subaru pressed onward, Echidna made a tiny smile and maintained her silence.
—The basis for his suspicion was the words he'd exchanged with Echidna in the virtual classroom at the height of the first Trial, when she'd stated that world was nothing but a charade.
Even that very moment, the answer he'd conveyed to his parents in the past had not changed. They rested strongly in his chest. Accordingly, it was not that which weighed on Subaru's mind, but how that world had been constructed. Echidna had created a different world using Subaru's memories as a reference, recreating even his school's uniforms.
If that was the power of the Witch of Greed, sleeping eternally within the tomb, then—
"—You have the power to see my memories. So, you don't think this situation's strange."
If she had the power to use his memories as a reference, she knew that from Subaru's perspective, their reunion was not directly after parting inside of that classroom. She also knew he had spent several days since then, letting everything slip through his fingers as "death" greeted him once more.
—And so, too, did she know that Subaru Natsuki had Returned by Death, going back in time.
" "
Subaru hesitated, sealing his words away. His heart beat ferociously, as if to tell him that going any further was dangerous— That if Subaru revealed much more, he would most certainly brush up against the taboo.
He would expose Return by Death. That would violate the one inviolate rule that the Witch had laid down. And should Subaru break it, he would taste agony to his very limits as punishment.
Or perhaps he would invite a different tragedy, and those evil hands would take the life of someone precious to Subaru, as they had with Emilia.
"Haaa…haaa…!"
His spiritual body's brow was drenched with sweat. The droplets fell onto his cheek, rolling down to his jaw.
The state of his soul vividly reflected that of his body. That was how far he was backed into a corner.
That moment, what backed Subaru's mind into a corner was not fear of the taboo, but fear of the unknown.
Subaru's tongue rejected spinning the words in that unknown state. After all, the current situation was different from any other situation he had encountered relating to Return by Death.
If Subaru spoke, willingly breaking the taboo, his heart would be crushed.
If Subaru pleaded from his heart that he wanted to reveal the truth—the evil hands would take the life of someone he cared for.
Then what happened if he said aloud that Return by Death had been exposed via a completely different tangent?
It was a complete unknown, a circumstance beyond all imagination— "Why do you not try it?"
"—?!!"
To Subaru, afraid of the taboo and the unknown, Echidna casually tossed those words.
Taken aback by the casualness of it, Subaru was indignant next. Echidna didn't understand. She didn't comprehend what might arise if he just tried it, how horribly unprofitable the prospect.
But in the face of Subaru's anger, Echidna shook her head and said,
"To test in hope of a result is an action to be praised. We only covet that which has value."
Without even knowing if she herself might be harmed, she criticized Subaru's inde— No, that wasn't it.
The Witch Echidna had seen right through to Subaru's reason for indecision.
She knew it was possible that it would be her, not Subaru, who might be in peril. And, knowing this, she had said to do it nonetheless. She said this, because her conviction was unshakable.
The "Witch of Greed," the very epitome of hunger for knowledge, would gamble even her own life on an action with no way to foresee the result.
"You might not have time to regret it…?"
"If that time comes, may I expect that you will break down in tears before my remains?"
To Subaru, hesitating until the last moment, Echidna replied in a tone that was sunny to the bitter end.
Her position was one she adopted out of consideration for Subaru, so that her personal feelings might not excessively sway his decision.
That was less sympathy toward Subaru than the Witch's sincerely not wishing for an external impurity to skew the result wrought by his decision. There were no expectations, nor wishes, attached.
He saw that it was her way as a Witch to seek the purity of the result. And that gave his back a shove.
He felt like her way of life, not harboring the slightest of doubts, was mocking his own smallness— "Echidna. I Return by Dea—" He spoke the words that were taboo.
Just as he had done many times before, he spoke the words, the special phrase, that walked across the prohibited line.
Several times had he done this: to serve as a decoy for the demon dogs, to lure in the White Whale, to deceive the Witch Cultists.
In the course of doing so, he was robbed of words, and the world's time came to a halt— "—th."
Firmly closing his eyes, Subaru gritted his teeth against the ferocious pain he expected to come.
However, his touching resolve amounted to nothing.
"…Eh?"
He opened his eyes. The world had not changed. Time had not stopped. There was no pain.
And this being the case, he shifted his gaze toward the Witch sitting directly in front of him, who went…
"Hmm…"
Sitting in her chair, the Witch recrossed her long legs as the eyebrows of her refined visage grimaced ever so slightly. However, that was her only reaction. Even when he glanced at the area of her breasts, there was no change in the Witch.
"…If you keep staring at me like that, I shall be embarrassed. Though I am rather proud of my outward appearance, I have no such confidence about my figure. Unlike Sekhmet and Daphne, that is."
"I ain't starin' at you for a reason like that. No, more importantly…"
Subaru responded to her misdirected demeanor, his thought process still at a halt.
No punishment of the taboo had been applied within the chest that Echidna hid from Subaru's gaze with her arms.
In the face of that fact, his thoughts slowly began anew as he touched a hand to his mouth.
The roots of his teeth, and his voice, were shaking.
"When, when I die, I go back in time, and I restart the world. I Return by
Death."
"I heard you. And I perceived it before I heard. I see—it is an exceedingly rare circumsta…"
"I! Return by Death! Return by Death! Return by Death! Return by Death!!"
"W-wait a—?!"
Echidna was horrified at Subaru repeating the forbidden words over and over. Her composure from the moment before was lost; the Witch's eyes opened wide as she hurriedly urged Subaru to calm down.
"C-calm yourself. I understand how you feel, but…"
"I've! Returned by Death! Over, and over, I die and restart! I! Return by
Death…"
"I get it already! So let's advance the conv…"
"I…! Return by Death, starting things over, over and over...!"
" "
He shouted numerous times, unable to contain himself. As Subaru shouted, hot droplets poured from his eyes. The droplets trickled down his cheeks, rolling down to his jaw, and fell— This was not sweat. These were tears.
"All this time… I've…!"
He'd seen this dream so many times. He'd anguished so many times, wanting to shout it out. He'd probably begged for it many times over. Yet he could reveal Return by Death to no one.
He thought he was forced to defy it, alone— "I…!!"
"—I understand."
His revelations became lamentations, and his shout scattered into sobs midway.
Faced with Subaru's voice, the Witch quietly nodded.
As Subaru wept, the Witch stood at his side. Her fingers touched his black hair, seemingly ready to enter it. Then, her slender, delicate hand gently stroked his head.
"I know, the footprints you have made until now. I saw them, after all."
" "
"But, I have merely seen them. If possible, I would like you to tell me about them from your own lips. I want to know what you thought, what you felt, how much you embraced."
Stroking his head, the Witch added, "I mean," and continued, "—I am Echidna, the Witch of Greed, she who craves knowing everything in this world."
3
Bit by bit, Subaru spoke the words in what had to be an exceptionally plodding process.
However, as a long period of time passed, the Witch lending her ears to Subaru's clumsy tale did not speak unnecessarily even once, nor had she done anything to hurry him.
Until the very end, she simply listened in silence as Subaru spoke. Then, seeing from Subaru's lowering of his head that he had finished his tale, she offered a short remark.
"—How awful."
The voice with which she spat out the words was tinged with unconcealed disgust.
For a single moment, the words made Subaru concerned. He feared the Witch was disparaging the footsteps Subaru had laid down up to that point. But his reaction made Echidna go, "No," shaking her head sideways as she said, "I am sorry to have misled you. I was not speaking of your tale just now. I simply feel anger that is difficult to bear toward the being that made you walk such a path of suffering."
"The being that made me walk a path of suffering…"
"—The Witch of Envy."
When Echidna's voice became like a whisper, Subaru came to a complete stop.
Amid the sense that his body, his breathing, and even the beating of his heart had come to a halt, Echidna's black pupils narrowed.
"I am sure that you, too, understood long ago. The power to rewind death… No, the power to deny you the peace of death, could only come from Envy."
"…That's because I've heard so much about the Witch from so many different people. I've never met this Witch face to face, but I figured as much from the 'outstretched hands' that appeared once in a while…"
The shadowy woman who appeared in the world of stopped time to inflict the punishment for breaking the taboo—
On the one hand, the shadow granted him agonizing pain; on the other, it touched him lovingly. At first, it was only one arm, but now he could see two arms and the contours of a torso that was progressively drawing nearer.
He suspected that, as he Returned by Death more and more, a time of reckoning was approaching.
"I have absolutely no idea why she's infatuated with me, though. Do you know the reason?"
"Not really. After all, understanding that thing's way of thinking is beyond not only me but all others as well. Even if I could, I would prefer not to."
Averting her gaze, Echidna spoke with invective. Subaru raised an eyebrow at her attitude.
"Man, for someone who declares she wants to know everything in this world, you sure have a thing against the Witch of Envy. Well, she is the one who killed you, so that is kinda natural…"
Echidna was purportedly a supernatural existence in a different dimension than what mere mortals could ever achieve. Even if 'castle of dreams' was an exaggeration, the Witch had transcended death to construct an entire world while only a soul, yet she bore personal likes and dislikes the same as any normal human being.
Seeing a glimpse of humanity like that, Subaru felt an odd sense of closeness to her. However, Echidna herself noticed nothing of Subaru's sentiments, sighing as she said spoke again.
"I believe you harbor no small grudge either, but speaking of her depresses even me. Therefore, let us discuss something else. If there is
something you wish to ask, ask it, whatever it may be."
"Something else, huh…"
When she sought a change in subject, Subaru fell into thought. Put bluntly, he was disappointed.
By divulging Return by Death, Subaru had broken free of the sense of being besieged that had plagued him for so long, filling him with a sense of liberation at his confined world opening right up.
Accordingly, Subaru had gotten his hopes up for a dramatic change. But Echidna had affirmed that the Witch of Envy was the cause of Return by Death like it was nothing, opening her heart to other conversational topics.
The complete lack of dramatic developments made all those tears seem like they were just his imagination.
"For example…yes, how about, if there was a way to remove the powerful Authority that inflicts the never-ending agony of repeating death, would you be curious at all?"
"…Even if a way did exist, that's a problem. Not interested."
With Subaru at a loss for words, the Witch made a proposal, but he shook his head, refusing her statement without hesitation.
Certainly, the power of Return by Death brought Subaru great agony. But even so—
"It galls me to say it, but I need Return by Death. There's a lot of results I couldn't have gotten without it. There's also a lot of people I wouldn't have been able to save."
" "
"Without that power, there's a lot of people I want to save that I couldn't.
So I need it."
Putting it into words made him aware of the fact all over again; Return by Death was Subaru's only weapon.
At the same time, it gave rise to something he wanted to ask, making him think of a question he'd always harbored.
"Echidna, do you think there's a limit to the number of times I can Return by Death?"
"…I see. That is a logical question for you to arrive at."
Since arriving in that world, Subaru had already experienced over ten Returns by Death. Tasting agony and a sense of loss, Subaru had restarted the world via death. The fear he harbored, that this time might be his last, was a natural emotion.
"I mean, that figures, right…?"
He'd already overturned the bounds of death many times over, something that by rights happened no more than once.
Over the course of each death, Subaru tasted the sense of despair from perishing with his objective left unfinished— Just how terrifying would death be, if it could erase that sense of despair along with everything else?
And just how long would that power of heresy against death postpone that moment for Subaru—
"Let me precede this by saying this is, in the end, purely my own speculation. My knowledge of the principles of your Authority is too vague for me to do anything but extrapolate. So I first wish you to forgive the vagueness of my reply."
"…Yeah, please tell me anyway."
"Your Return by Death, as a power that triggers according to specific conditions, I believe it likely has—"