Chapter 17: Kazuma is DeadEarly the next morning, the sky was just beginning to brighten.For the sake of that legendary inheritance, the trio of Haru and the others got up very early (though Aquahad to be dragged out of bed by Haru)."Ugh... so sleepy... I'm a Goddess, why do I have to get up early like those lowly Goblins..." Aquayawned while rubbing her bleary eyes, still wearing her crumpled pajamas (which were actually just her Raiment transformed). "And that place is really far away! It's going to take forever to walk! Why didn't we rent a carriage?""Because we're poor," Haru replied succinctly, handing her a piece of Black Bread that was as hard as a rock. "Eat up quickly; we have to get moving after you're done. If we're late, the treasure might be dug up by someone else."Hearing the word 'treasure,' Aqua instantly woke up halfway and took a fierce bite of the Black Bread, producing a crisp cracking sound."Waaaah... my teeth..."The three of them packed their gear and, following the map's guidance, walked out of Axel's city gates.The location marked on the map was in the Mist Forest to the north of the town.That place was shrouded in thick fog year-round, and it was said that all sorts of dangerous monsters inhabited it. For ordinary novice Adventurers, it was definitely a forbidden zone.But for the current trio—"As long as there's money, I'd even dare to break into the Demon Kings Castle!" Kazuma brandished his newly bought short sword, walking at the very front with high spirits. "Besides, I have the Blessingof strong luck; I'll surely turn any misfortune into a Blessing!"However, reality soon gave him a slap in the face.Not long after entering the forest, the surrounding fog began to thicken, and visibility dropped sharply.Moreover, the path beneath their feet became incredibly muddy, requiring great effort with every step."What kind of hellhole is this!" Kazuma pulled his foot out of a mud pit and complained. "My new boots are all dirty! These are my only long boots!""Shh—!"Haru suddenly stopped and raised his staff to signal for silence.From within the mist ahead, a hair-raising roar faintly echoed.Immediately after, several swaying figures emerged from the fog.Those were several Skeleton Soldiers wearing tattered armor, holding rusty longswords, with eerie blue ghost-fires flickering in their eye sockets."It's... it's the Undead!" Aqua shrieked and hid behind Haru. "Why are these things here! Isn't this a forest near the starter village? Why would high-level monsters like these appear here!""They're probably guardians attracted by the treasure," Haru analyzed calmly, while beginning to mobilize his mana. "Kazuma, get ready for battle! Don't let them get close!""Understood!" Although Kazuma was scared, he also knew that now was not the time to back down.He gripped his short sword and took a combat stance."Roar—!"The Skeleton Soldiers spotted the three of them, let out a roar, and charged forward brandishing their longswords."Since they're Undead..." The corners of Haru's mouth curled up as he looked back at the shivering blue-haired Goddess. "Aqua! Stop hiding! This is your specialty, isn't it? Use that thing, quickly!""Eh? That? Which one?" Aqua looked completely blank."Purification! Aren't you the Goddess of Water! Use your holy power to purify them!""Ah! Oh, right!" Aqua suddenly realized, immediately straightened her back, and jumped out from behind Haru, striking an extremely holy (chuunibyou) pose. "Hmph! To think you'd dare show off your meager skills before this Goddess! Since you're so sincerely seeking death, I shall mercifully grant your wish! Take this! Sacred Exorcism!"A dazzling white light erupted from Aqua's hand, instantly illuminating the surrounding mist.Those charging Skeleton Soldiers were enveloped by the white light, and before they could even scream, they melted away like snow under the sun, turning into a pile of white bones scattered on the ground."Th-That's incredible!" Kazuma watched, dumbfounded. "Even though she's usually a total klutz, she's really got what it takes when it comes to dealing with the Undead!""Hmph! Of course!" Aqua flipped her hair proudly. "I am the Goddess worshipped by the Axis Order! Low-level Undead like these, I can just flick my finger and..."Before she could finish her sentence, a much louder roar suddenly echoed from deep within the mist.The ground began to vibrate, as if some massive creature was approaching."Uh... it seems like something even bigger is coming?" Kazuma swallowed hard, his hand holding the sword beginning to tremble.The mist was torn apart by a violent gale.Accompanied by the tremors of the earth, that huge dark shadow finally revealed its true form.It was a giant bear nearly two stories tall, its body covered in rock-hard black fur, with two front claws that were disproportionately massive, looking like two battering rams."ROAR—!!!"The giant bear let out a roar, the sound waves physically slamming against the trio's eardrums."Wh-What is this!" Aqua's face turned pale with fear, her staff trembling in her hand. "This isn't Undead at all! This is clearly a living creature! My purification magic won't work on it!""It's a One-Hit Bear!"Haru instantly recognized the monster's identity.In the Guild's bestiary, this was marked as an extremely dangerous monster.Just as its name suggested, its attack power was terrifyingly high; an ordinary Adventurer would go straight to see eris after just one swipe of its claws."Run! Run, quickly!"Haru shouted, turning around to pull the other two back in retreat.However, it was already too late.The One-Hit Bear's crimson eyes were locked dead onto Kazuma, who was standing at the very front."Wait! Why me?!" Kazuma let out a desperate scream as he saw that sky-blotting giant claw swiping down at him. "Isn't my luck supposed to be high! Why do I always run into this kind of bad luck! Help! I haven't even been to the Succubus Shopyet!""Kazuma!""BOOM—!"The giant claw slammed heavily onto the ground, kicking up a storm of dust and rubble.A massive crater was smashed into the earth, and the surrounding trees were shaken askew.When the dust settled, Haru saw that where Kazuma had originally stood, there was only a pile of rubble and a single boot embedded in the dirt."Ka-Kazuma?! Kazuma!!!" Aqua stared blankly at the crater, tears instantly gushing out. "Waaaah! Kazuma's dead! Uuuuuh..."Haru looked at the empty crater, and his heart couldn't help but sink.Even though they were always insulting each other, they were partners who had started from scratch together after all.Just like that... he's gone?"Grrr..." The One-Hit Bear seemed satisfied with the result of its strike. It turned its head, its murderous eyes looking toward Haru and Aqua."Dammit..."Haru gripped his Red Oak Staff tightly, his mana surging wildly.Since they couldn't run, they'd have to fight it out!"Aqua! Stop crying!" Haru roared. "Now isn't the time for tears! If we don't take this thing down, we'll all die here! Quickly, use your buff magic! We're going to avenge Kazuma!""A-Avenge? Yes! Revenge!" Aqua wiped away her tears, her gaze becoming determined (though she still sounded like she was crying). "To think you'd dare kill this Goddess's attendant! Unforgivable! Even though purification won't work, I have other tricks! Haru! Get ready!"She raised her staff, and a golden light enveloped Haru's entire body."Blessing! Strength Enhancement! Speed Enhancement!"With a string of buff spells applied to him, Haru felt the power inside him surge instantly, and the staff in his hand felt like an extension of his own body."Good!"Haru took a deep breath, looking at the approaching giant beast."Take this! Thunderbolt!"A thick bolt of lightning shot from the tip of the staff, accurately hitting the One-Hit Bear's eye."ROOOOAR—!"The giant bear let out a roar of pain, its massive body staggering.
Chapter 18: A Wonderful Life in This Alternative World"Boom—!"The One-Hit Bear's massive right claw brushed past Haru's scalp, the resulting wind pressure making his cheeks sting.A century-old tree behind him snapped in response, wood chips flying everywhere."Dammit! This guy's hide is too thick!" Haru panted heavily, having cast several consecutive Thunderbolts and Fireballs. Although they left scorched marks on the giant bear, for a monster of this size, it was practically an itch."Haru! Watch out!" Aqua screamed from a distance, waving her staff like she was performing a ritual dance. "My buffs are about to wear off! Run! This bear is a monster! I can't beat it either!""No kidding! I know I can't beat it either!"Haru rolled clumsily on the ground, narrowly avoiding the giant bear's stomp.Even with Aqua's speed buff, his mana was already bottoming out.If this continued, in less than two minutes, the two of them would become this bear's lunch (though a goddess might be harder to digest)."Roaaaar—!" The One-Hit Bear seemed provoked by their fly-like evasive tactics.It stood upright, pressing its paws together, preparing to launch its ultimate skill—[Earthquake Wave].Game over.Looking at the giant paws about to descend, only one thought remained in Haru's mind: this time, he was really going to reunite with Kazuma in the underworld.Right at this critical moment."I am Megumin!"A crisp voice full of chuunibyou energy suddenly came from the tree canopy above."In the name of the Crimson Demon Clan's greatest mage, the one who manipulates Explosion Magic! Upon this battlefield filled with despair, I shall bring down the final judgment!"Haru looked up and saw a petite figure wearing a huge mage hat and red robes standing on the highest branch, her staff pointing at the One-Hit Bear below, her red cloak fluttering in the wind.That eyepatch girl!"Hey! Is that an ally?!" Aqua waved her hands desperately as if seeing a savior. "Help! There's a pervert bear here trying to eat a cute goddess!"Megumin ignored Aqua's cry for help and instead began chanting her long and embarrassing incantation."Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson! The time of awakening arrives. Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now as an intangible distortion! Dance! Dance! Dance! I summon forth the power of my magic! Crumble! White world! Turn to dust under this single strike!"As the chant progressed, the surrounding mana began to converge frantically toward the staff in her hand.The originally gloomy sky seemed to be torn open, and the red light illuminated the entire forest like daylight.The One-Hit Bear also seemed to sense this destructive power.It stopped its attack and looked up at the girl in the air, fear showing in its eyes for the first time."Explosion—!!!"The girl's roar, with all her might, echoed through the clouds.A massive pillar of red light descended from the sky, accurately engulfing the One-Hit Bear below."Rumble—!!!"The massive explosion was deafening, as if even the soul was trembling.The intense shockwave uprooted the surrounding trees, and Haru could only hold onto the ground tightly to avoid being blown away.When the smoke cleared, where the One-Hit Bearhad been, only a massive crater tens of meters in diameter remained.As for that arrogant monster, not even a scrap was left."This... this is magic!?"Haru looked at the smoking crater and couldn't help but swallow hard.This power was basically a strategic nuclear weapon, and even scarier was that it was cast by this little loli who didn't even reach his shoulder."Huff... huff..."Megumin lay flat on the ground at the edge of the crater, looking like a puddle of mud, without even the strength to move a finger."This is... today's... Explosion Magic... perfect score..."After saying that, she completely passed out."So, so amazing!" Aqua poked her head out from behind the rock she was hiding behind, looking at the girl on the ground with a face full of admiration. "To wipe out such a big bear in one go!!"Haru walked over to Megumin and poked her cheek.Still warm.It seemed he had really picked up a treasure this time.However, the immediate priority was...Haru turned around and looked toward the bottom of the large crater.Besides scorched earth, there didn't seem to be any treasure chest or entrance."Wait, where's the treasure?"An ominous feeling rose in Haru's heart.Could that Explosion Magic just now have blown the treasure away along with everything else?As the smoke dissipated, the air was filled with the pungent smell of scorched earth and magical residue.Haru stood at the edge of the massive crater, scanning it over and over again, unwilling to give up.However, reality was cruel.Forget about the metal box; even the rocks that were originally there had been melted into glass-like crystals by the high temperature.That Explosion Magic had not only sent the One-Hit Bear to the afterlife but also physically exorcised the inheritance they were all dreaming of."Ha... haha..." Haru looked at the empty crater, his mouth twitching a few times before finally settling into a bitter smile. "Even though the 300 eristreasure map went down the drain and the Succubus Shop fund is gone... at least it's better than losing our lives, right?""Ah! My treasure! My high-grade bubbly wine!" Aqua finally realized what had happened. She rushed to the edge of the crater, holding her head and letting out a tragic wail. "That idiot Crimson Demon! Why use such a powerful spell! Couldn't you hold back a little! That was my money!!""Stop howling."Haru sighed and turned to look at the other side of the battlefield.There was a smaller pit there (compared to the Explosion Magic crater), and at the bottom lay a miserable corpse.It was Satou Kazuma, who had heroically sacrificed himself (been insta-killed) for his companions."We have more important things to do than worry about money." Haru walked to Kazuma's body.Although he'd been swiped by the One-Hit Bear, fortunately, his body was mostly intact and hadn't turned into a mosaic; that was a blessing in disguise."Aqua, come over and get to work." Haru pointed at Kazuma on the ground. "The treasure is gone, but if this guy stays dead, we won't even have anyone to use as bait anymore. I remember you can resurrect people, right?""Waaaah... my money..." Aqua walked over sobbing, squatting beside Kazuma, wiping her tears while complaining. "Kazuma, you idiot, you died too fast, you didn't even work as a meat shield... if you could have held out a bit longer, maybe I could have moved the treasure chest..."Despite her constant complaining, she still reached out her hand and gently placed it over Kazuma's chest.A sacred and warm light shone from her palm; it was high-level sacred mana that was completely inconsistent with her usual useless image."Resurrection!"With the goddess's whisper, the terrible wounds on Kazuma's body began to heal at a visible rate, and his originally pale face gradually regained its color.A few seconds later.Kazuma's eyes remained closed, but his face wore a smile of unprecedented happiness and fawning. His hands were grasping at the air as if holding onto the hem of a certain goddess's skirt."Ah! What a gentle voice! What a healing smile! Completely different from a certain goddess who only vomits rainbows! And... although not big, they're quite substantial!"Haru looked at Kazuma, who was acting lecherous toward the air, and then at Aqua, whose face was turning darker and darker."Uh... Kazuma?" Haru called out tentatively."Don't bother me! I'm currently on the stairway to heaven!" Kazuma roared with his eyes closed. "Lady Eris, please take me away! I never want to go back to that world full of frogs, giant bears, and debt! I've had enough of being bait for that Haru and cleaning up after Aqua!"Slap—!A crisp slapping sound echoed through the forest.Aqua withdrew her hand expressionlessly, looking down at the stunned Kazuma."Ow ow ow..."Kazuma clutched his face and opened his eyes. What met his gaze was not a gentle and cute silver-haired goddess, but Aqua's enlarged, angry face."Aaaah!!!!!" Kazuma let out a cry even more tragic than when he was swiped to death by the bear. He scrambled backward, pointing at Aqua and trembling as he said, "Wh-why is it you?! Where's Lady Eris? Where's the room full of flowers and sunshine? Where's the angel who gently asked if I wanted to reincarnate?!""What kind of daydream are you having! You shut-in!" Aqua put her hands on her hips and roared in frustration. "It's me! Your noble Goddess Aqua who pulled you back from the underworld! You should be kneeling and crying with gratitude! How dare you praise that eris in front of me?!""Pulled me back?" Kazuma froze for a moment, then seemed to realize something, his face instantly turning pale. "You mean... I'm resurrected? I'm back in this alternative world? I lost my chance to be a dog for a wealthy family?!""What's with that disappointed expression!" Harucouldn't help but comment from the side. "And didn't you just say something about being fed up with being bait for me?""That's not important!" Kazuma jumped up, grabbing his hair and shouting in a breakdown. "Lady Eris! She's a real goddess! She didn't laugh at me after hearing my cause of death, she even comforted me gently! She even said she could give me special treatment and let me reincarnate into a world without a Demon King! It's all your fault! Aqua! You meddling busybody! Give me back my heaven!""Hah?! Who are you calling a meddling busybody!" Aqua also flared up, grabbing Kazuma by the collar. "I spent precious mana to save you! And what's so good about that eris! That woman... that woman is padded! She stuffs her chest with pads! You idiot, deceived by appearances!""Shut up! I won't allow you to slander Lady Eris! Even if they're padded, I like them! Those are pads filled with dreams!"Looking at these two scuffling together, Haru shook his head helplessly.Is this what they call a "touching reunion"? It's a complete farce."Hey, stop arguing." Haru pointed to the crater nearby, interrupting their fight. "Kazuma, since you didn't make it to heaven, face reality. Although the treasure was blown away, at least we're still alive, and...""Wait!" Kazuma suddenly stopped moving, turning his head stiffly to look at Haru. "What did you just say? The treasure... what happened to it?""Blown away." Haru pointed again at the bare crater bottom. "Not even a scrap left.""..."Kazuma's gaze moved back and forth between the large crater, the unconscious Megumin, Haru, and Aqua.Finally, his knees gave way, and he knelt on the ground, the light fading from his eyes."Lady Eris... gone... treasure... gone... Succubus Shop... gone..."He muttered to himself like a broken record player."I told you, at least we got our lives back." Aquapatted Kazuma's shoulder, trying to comfort him (by adding insult to injury). "And even though the money's gone, we still have our debts! As long as we work hard, we'll pay them off one day! Probably in a few decades!""Just blow me up too..." Kazuma lay on the ground in a starfish pose, looking completely hopeless. "Let me die, this time I'll grab Lady Eris's skirt and never let go...""Stop dreaming and get up."Haru walked over, hoisted Megumin onto his shoulder (like a sack of rice), and kicked Kazuma's butt."Even though we didn't get the treasure, this bear's materials can still be sold for some money. Plus, I've scouted an invincible powerhouse teammate for us.""Devils... you're all devils..."Kazuma got up with tears in his eyes, following behind the two with heavy steps.As the sun set, it stretched the shadows of the four.A mage carrying a loli, a goddess still incessantly cursing eris, and a walking corpse who had just lost his true love (eris) and his fortune.This is probably... a wonderful life in an alternative world.
Chapter 19: The Death of HaruThe setting sun dyed the road on the outskirts of Axel in a shade of orange-red.The journey back to town should have been filled with exhaustion and silence; after all, the group had just survived a life-and-death battle and suffered the painful loss of a massive treasure.But because of a certain fellow who had just returned from a tour of the underworld, the trip had become exceptionally noisy."Hey, Haru, listen to me, it's really completely different." Kazuma walked beside Haru, hands behind his head, a dreamy, blissful smile on his face, completely ignoring Aqua's murderous gaze from the side."That room... how should I put it, it was filled with a faint floral scent. Not the smell of cheap perfume, but the kind of... fragrance that feels like it can purify the soul. Lady Eris sat on a chair, her long silver hair sparkling under the light...""That's a wig! It's definitely a wig!" Aqua followed behind, puffing out her cheeks and kicking small pebbles on the roadside. "And that woman doesn't have any floral scent on her! That was just the smell of a guilty conscience trying to hide her Breast pads!""Shut up! Only a goddess like you, covered in the smell of booze and vomit, would be jealous of her!" Kazuma turned back to glare at Aqua, then immediately turned around, leaning in close to Haru's ear with a mysterious expression. "The most important thing is the attitude, Haru! The attitude! Do you know what she said to me? She said, 'Mr. Satou, your life may have been short, but you really worked hard.' Listen to that! How gentle! How healing! Unlike a certain someone who only says, 'Wahahaha, you hikikomori, what a pathetic way to die!'"Haru, who was carrying the still-snoring Megumin, initially thought Kazuma was just venting.But as he listened, Haru's footsteps couldn't help but slow down.As a transmigrator, although Haru knew Aqua was a goddess, her behavior was really too... down-to-earth (or rather, down-to-hell).Greedy, alcoholic, low IQ, trouble-prone, and always treating others like servants.In contrast, the Goddess Eris described by Kazuma—gentle, dignified, empathetic, and even serving tea to the deceased—was practically the ideal template for an otherworldly goddess!"Hey, Kazuma," Haru couldn't help but ask, "is that eris... really that cute? Like... is she cuter than shopkeeper Wiz?""It's a different dimension of cuteness!" Kazumaimmediately perked up, giving a thumbs-up with eyes as determined as a missionary's. "Wiz is the mature big sister type, but Lady Eris... that's the feeling of a first love! It's the kind of sacredness where one look makes you think, 'Ah, to protect this smile, it wouldn't matter if I died again!' And even though Aqua says she uses pads, I observed from very close just now... those slight curves are full of subtle beauty! She's definitely top-tier!"*Gulp...*Haru swallowed hard.Though he knew he shouldn't, his mind had already begun to sketch a picture of a silver-haired girl smiling shyly.Then he turned to look at the blue-haired goddess beside him, who was currently picking her nose and flicking a booger away with a disgruntled look."..."An urge known as a death wish suddenly surged in his heart."Hey, Kazuma." Haru looked at the dense grass by the road, his gaze somewhat vacant. "Do you think there are any monsters in the nearby forest that can kill a person in one hit? Like a relative of the One-Hit Bear or a giant wild boar?""Hey! Haru! What's with that dangerous look in your eyes!" Aqua keenly sensed something was wrong and rushed over to grab Haru's arm. "You're not allowed to die! You're my follower (self-proclaimed)! If you dare go see that breast-pad girl, I'll... I'll turn your corpse into a fountain decoration! I'll make it so you can never be resurrected!""See! This is it!" Kazuma pointed at Aqua and shouted. "This is the difference! Lady Eris would never say anything about turning someone into a fountain! Haru, if you're really going, take me with you! This time I definitely won't let Aqua resurrect me!""Aaaah! I'm so mad!" Aqua scratched her hair frantically. "Why does everyone like that fake woman! I'm clearly prettier! My divine power is stronger (probably)! I have more party tricks! You sightless mortals!""Um... Aqua."Haru suddenly stopped in his tracks, his voice exceptionally calm, as natural as asking what was for dinner."What?" Aqua was still sulking because of Kazuma's words, kicking stones as she replied irritably. "If you want to borrow money, forget it. If you want to praise me for being prettier than that breast-pad girl, I might be persuaded to listen.""Your Resurrection spell... as long as the body is intact and it hasn't been dead for long, it's 100% successful, right?"Haru turned around and looked at her with a serious face."Huh? Of course!" Aqua puffed out her chest proudly. "I am the Goddess of Water, Lady Aqua! If I want to, I can pull someone back even if they've turned to bone! What, have you finally realized my greatness?""Great."Haru nodded and then made a shocking move. He dropped Megumin from his shoulder onto the grass like unloading cargo with a "thud" (Megumin let out a sleepy "mnyau").Immediately after, Haru gripped his Red Oak Staffwith both hands and pointed the tip at his own chin."Since I can be resurrected, I'm relieved." A raging fire of curiosity and a gentleman's soul burned in Haru's eyes. "Kazuma is right. If I don't see such a top-tier goddess with my own eyes, I won't be able to rest in peace... wait, dying is exactly how I'll rest in peace. I'll be right back; remember to pull me back while I'm still warm.""Wait, wait! What are you doing?!"Aqua's eyes widened as she looked at Haru in horror."Thunderbolt—Target: Myself!""STOP IT AAAAAHHH!!!"Just as the current was about to pierce Haru's forehead, Aqua let out a pig-like shriek and lunged like a blue koala, death-gripping Haru's arm and pulling it down.*Crackle!*The Thunderbolt originally aimed at his chin deviated due to her interference, grazing Haru's ear and flying off, turning his handsome hairstyle into an afro."Let go! Aqua!" Haru struggled desperately, trying to point the staff at himself again. "Don't stop me! That's the stairway to my dreams! I'll just take one look! I'll come back after one look! I don't want to live the rest of my life in the shadow of Kazuma's bragging!""I won't let you go! You're not allowed to die!" Aquahung onto Haru, crying snot and tears. "You're my follower! Your soul belongs to the Axis Order! If you go to that woman's territory, what if she seduces you away! Then I'll have one less servant to order around... I mean, one less important partner!""Haru! Don't give up! Go for it!" Kazuma, watching the chaos from the side, even started cheering him on. "Just bite your tongue! It's quick! Just one go and you'll see that angel! Remember to tell her that Satou Kazuma will love her forever!""Shut up, you hikikomori!" Aqua freed one hand and slammed a God Blow onto Kazuma's head, sending him rolling on the ground."Damn it... since magic won't work..." Haru looked at Aqua, who was death-gripping his staff, and steeled his heart, pulling out a small knife used for cutting meat from his waist."I'm going to see eris physically!""Heal! High Heal!"Aqua's hand speed was incredibly fast. The moment Haru's knife drew a bloody line on his neck, the wound was instantly healed.Slash again, heal again.Slash again, heal again.In just a few short seconds, Haru hopped back and forth between life and death over a dozen times."Let me die! Please just let me die once!""No dying! Stay alive and work hard to pay off your debts!"Passing Adventurers and merchant caravans watched the scene:A mage frantically self-mutilating with a knife, a goddess crying while spamming heals on him, and a Thief on the side shouting, "Harder! Don't be a wimp!"And a Crimson Demon Clan loli lying in the grass like a corpse."...Is this some kind of new play?""Don't look, you'll catch the idiot germs."Finally, Haru seized a perfect opportunity."Look! There's high-grade bubbly over there!" Harushouted, pointing in the opposite direction."Where, where?!"Aqua instinctively let go and turned to look.In that split second, Haru plunged the meat-cutting knife into his own heart without hesitation.His vision rapidly darkened, and the sounds of the world faded away.The last thing Haru heard was Aqua's heart-wrenching scream: "Haru, YOU BIG LIAR—!!!"...When Haru opened his eyes again, he was in a room filled with soft light.There was no noise from Axel, no roaring from Aqua, only a faint floral scent and a peaceful tranquility.Just as Kazuma had said, a beautiful girl with long silver hair was sitting on a chair not far away, looking at him with an expression of both surprise and confusion."Um... Mr. Lin Jin?" Her voice was as pleasant as a clear spring, more healing than any ASMR Haru had ever heard. "While I welcome lost souls... stabbing yourself to death just to see me... isn't that a bit too reckless?"Goddess Eris.The legendary Goddess of Luck.At this moment, she was tilting her head slightly, her purple eyes full of helplessness and a hint of... shyness?"Lady Eris!" Haru jumped up from the floor excitedly (his soul state was very light) and slid into a kneel right in front of her. "I finally see you! That guy Kazuma didn't lie to me! You really are the last bastion of conscience in this other world! A true goddess!""Eh? Ehhh?" eris was startled by Haru's enthusiasm and waved her hands frantically. "Um... please don't praise me like that... I'm just performing my duties... and as for a true goddess... Senior Aqua is also a very impressive goddess, you know...""Don't mention that blue thing!" Haru clutched his chest with a look of agony. "Every day with her is torture! Only here, looking at your smile, do I feel like I've truly come alive! Ah, Lady Eris, could you please scold me? If it's your voice, even a scolding would sound like heavenly music!""Hah?!" eris's cheeks were instantly dyed a layer of crimson, and she shrank back in a panic. "Um... that kind of request is a bit... um... D-Dummy?""Ooooohhh—!!!" Haru felt his soul being purified; his whole being was sublimated. "Amazing! This is the legendary shy goddess scolding! If that guy Kazumaheard this, he'd definitely be jealous enough to commit suicide again!"Seeing Haru's intoxicated look, eris seemed to relax a bit.She sighed softly, but a gentle smile tugged at the corners of her mouth."I really can't with you people... you work so hard when you're alive, yet you're still so energetic when you get here. However, Mr. Lin Jin, while I'm moved that you went to such lengths to see me, life is very precious. You mustn't do this again.""Yes! I shall obey your divine decree!" Haru sat upright like a well-behaved schoolboy. "Um... Lady Eris, since I'm already here, can we chat for a bit? Like whether you have a boyfriend, or if you could give me a boost in my Luck stat...""As for a boyfriend... I don't have one..." eris toyed with the ends of her hair somewhat bashfully. "As for luck... that's an innate attribute; even a goddess can't change it at will. However, as a special service, I can chat with you for a while..."Just as the two were having a pleasant conversation and the atmosphere was just right—Haru was even preparing to ask if he could touch those legendary Breast pads (scratch that) sacred garments—Suddenly, a familiar, annoying pulling sensation came from beneath his feet."Eh?" eris watched in surprise as Haru's body began to turn transparent. "This is... the resonance of a Resurrection spell? Ah, it seems Senior Aqua is calling you back.""No! Noooo!" Haru grabbed the floor desperately, trying to resist the force. "I'm not going back! Not to that world of vomit and debt! I want to stay here! I want to be Lady Eris's watchdog!""Mr. Lin Jin, please don't say such strange things..." eris smiled and waved at Haru; though she was helpless, her gaze remained gentle. "Although it was short, I'm glad I could chat with you. Please go back and live your life well, and don't die so casually anymore. Also... if you can, try to be a bit nicer to Senior Aqua; she's actually... quite lonely too.""Lady Eris—!!!"Haru's tragic cry echoed through the pure white space.
Chapter 20: Only Explosion is RomanceThe next second."Haah—!!!"Haru sat up abruptly from the ground, gasping for air.What met his eyes was the dim sky and an enlarged blue face covered in snot and tears."Waaaah! Haru, you idiot! How dare you actually die! How dare you actually leave me to go see that woman!" Aqua pounced on Haru, crying while shaking his shoulders violently, shaking Haru's newly resurrected brains until they were almost scrambled. "Quick, say it! You weren't seduced away by her, right? You're still my believer, right? You didn't agree to be her dog, did you?!"Haru looked expressionlessly at this goddess who was currently wiping her tears and snot on his clothes.eris's gentle "idiot" and sweet smile were still echoing in his mind.And then looking at this one in front of him..."...Give me back my touched feelings," Haru said coldly, then pushed Aqua's face away. "Also, can you be a bit gentler next time you resurrect me? I feel like my ribs are about to be crushed by you.""Ha?! I saved your life!" Aqua immediately stopped crying and put on a self-righteous expression. "And do you know how much mana it costs to resurrect someone once? Tonight, I want the most expensive steak! You're paying!"To the side, Kazuma looked at Haru with a face full of envy, jealousy, and hate."Well? Did you see her? Did you talk? Did she mention me? Did she say she missed me?"Haru looked at Kazuma and suddenly revealed a wicked smile."Ah, I saw her. She even called me an idiot; her voice was super sweet. As for you... she didn't seem to mention you at all.""Aaaaaah! Haru, I'm going to kill you!!!"Amidst the trio's bickering, the group soon entered the town.Pushing open the heavy oak doors of the Adventurers Guild, a familiar heat wave mixed with the scent of cheap ale, grilled meat, and the sweat of rough men hit them.The guild was brightly lit, and it was the peak time for Adventurers to gather, brag, and drink after finishing their day's work.Haru was carrying the still-dazed Megumin on his shoulder, Kazuma followed behind with a dejected face, and Aqua was already starting to drool toward the counter."Ouch!"Just as Haru stepped through the door, a nimble figure happened to rush out from inside. Since Haru's center of gravity was unstable from carrying someone on his shoulder, the two collided solidly."Ouch, ouch, ouch... Who is it, not looking where they're going... Eh?"The girl who had been knocked to the ground rubbed her bottom and looked up.She had short, refreshing silver hair, wore a neat Thief's shirt and hot pants, and had a faint scar on the lower-left side of her face, making her look both playful and cool.When Haru and Kazuma's gaze fell on her silver hair, both of their bodies froze simultaneously."Sil... Silver hair?" Kazuma's eyes were about to pop out. He pointed at the girl with a trembling finger and turned to look at Haru. "Hey, Haru, look! That hair color, that silhouette... Could it be that Lady Erisheard my heart's cry and descended to the mortal world specifically to find me?!"Haru also lost himself for a moment.Although the girl in front of him had an aura more like a tomboy, that inexplicable sense of affinity indeed reminded him of the gentle goddess he had just seen in the underworld."Um... are you guys okay?" The girl—Chris—looked at the petrified expressions of the two in front of her and shrunk her neck a bit guiltily. "Sorry, sorry, I was in a hurry to turn in a quest. I'm Chris the Thief. Are you new Adventurers?""You're... Chris?" Haru snapped out of it and shook his head to toss away those unrealistic thoughts. "I'm the mage Haru. This is my companion Kazuma, and that blue-haired moron over there looking at the menu.""Who's a moron?! Haru, you've gotten bolder after dying once!" Aqua roared back from afar. Then she noticed Chris and tilted her head. "Hmm? This short-haired girl... I feel like I've seen her somewhere before. There's a sense of familiarity that makes me want to drag her off to work."The moment Chris heard Aqua's voice, her body twitched imperceptibly, and she then gave a somewhat stiff, cheerful smile: "Haha, really? Maybe I just have a common face! Anyway, since everything's fine, I'll be going now. Let's party up if we get the chance later!"With that, she slipped out of the guild like a gust of wind, her back looking flustered as if saying "Please don't recognize me.""As I thought, it was an illusion," Kazuma lowered his head in disappointment. "How could Lady Erisbe running around the streets dressed so scantily. Ah... my goddess...""Ugh... where... is this?"Just then, Megumin on Haru's shoulder finally moved.She opened her eyes blearily, looked at the guild ceiling, and then sniffed hard. "This smell... it's the smell of High-grade Frost-Marbled Red Frog! Haru! Put me down quickly! Though my mana is depleted, my stomach is still bottomless!""Perfect timing to wake up."Haru placed Megumin on a stool. She slumped there like a boneless doll but still tried hard to stare at the counter with her one red eye.Haru walked to the counter and slammed the charred One-Hit Bear's paw onto the tabletop with a bang."Miss Luna, I'm here to settle the quest. The One-Hit Bear from the Foggy Forest, subjugation complete."The originally noisy guild fell silent for a second.Miss Luna behind the counter pushed up her glasses and looked in shock at the bear paw, which was as large as a washbasin and smelled of grilled meat."A... A One-Hit Bear?! That's an elite monster with a recommended level of 20 or higher! You few newbies... actually managed to do it?"The surrounding Adventurers gathered around, letting out bursts of exclamation."No way, right? That bear is the overlord of this area!""Look at that paw, it's charred. Was some powerful fire magic used?""Hmph hmph hmph, of course!" Megumin supported herself on the table and stood up, trying to strike a cool pose even though her body was still swaying. "I am Megumin! In the name of the Crimson Demon Clan's number one mage, the one who manipulates Explosion Magic! A mere One-Hit Bear is nothing more than slightly larger sealing wax before my ultimate magic!""Explosion Magic?!" Miss Luna's face instantly turned from surprise to horror. "You... you're the one who caused that massive explosion in the forest?! Because of that explosion, the Forest Fire Prevention Association has already sent a complaint letter! And... if it was killed by Explosion Magic, wouldn't the bear hide and materials be completely destroyed?!"Haru and Kazuma glanced at each other, both showing guilty expressions."Um... Miss Luna." Haru gave a dry laugh and pointed at the paw. "Even though the hide is gone and the meat is charred, the bounty... should still be there, right?"Miss Luna looked at the bear paw emitting a strange charred aroma, then at Aqua, who was drooling, and sighed deeply. She then took out two thick stacks of eris from under the counter."Although a portion was deducted due to environmental damage and material destruction, considering it's a One-Hit Bear subjugation, here is the bounty of 200,000 eris. Please take it."Haru took the money, gave 50,000 to Kazuma, 50,000 to Aqua, and kept 100,000 for himself (as compensation for being the leader and the suicide volunteer)."Hey, Megumin." Haru turned his head and looked at the Crimson Demon Clan girl who was leaning on the table, her stomach rumbling like thunder. He gave an extremely bright (and plotting) smile. "That Explosion Magic just now was so cool! To repay you for saving my life, order whatever you want to eat tonight; my treat!""Eh? Re-really?" Megumin's red eyes instantly lit up like two rubies. She tried to maintain her dignity as an Archwizard, but a suspicious liquid already unconsciously leaked from the corner of her mouth. "I am Megumin, the one who manipulates the strongest magic. Originally, I would disdain to accept charity from mortals... but since you have entreated me so sincerely, I shall accept! I want to eat Frost-Marbled Red Frog Meat! And a large grilled meat platter!"In a corner of the guild, the four sat around a dining table.As plates of steaming food were brought to the table, Megumin began to eat like a whirlwind, as if trying to make up for all the meals of her life.Haru sat opposite her and inconspicuously gave Kazuma a look.(Eye contact: Hey, Kazuma, even though you didn't see it, I guarantee on my character that this brat in front of us is basically a walking nuclear weapon!)Kazuma returned an extremely lewd and knowing look.(Eye contact: I know, even though she's a flat-chested brat, her damage output is indeed top-tier. As long as we trick her into joining the party, won't farming high-level monsters be like a game for us later? Plus, she looks very easy to fool right now.)Haru cleared his throat, leaned forward slightly, and spoke in an extremely sincere tone:"Um, Megumin. Look, even though your magic is strong, you collapse after firing just one shot. It's still very dangerous in the wild, isn't it? What if you run into those lecherous Orcs or Tentacle Monsters...""Mmph mmph... indeed... makes sense..."Megumin replied indistinctly, her mouth stuffed with meat."So, you need companions!" Haru patted his chest with a righteous air. "Our party just happens to be missing an excellent attacker like you. I'm an all-around mage, Kazuma is... uh, bait plus chores, and Aqua is in charge of resurrection and being cute. If you join us, not only is your safety guaranteed, but we'll also cover your daily food expenses! How about it?"Haru and Kazuma were prepared to give a long speech or even sign various unequal treaties.After all, for a genius Archwizard like this, there must be many powerful parties trying to recruit her, right?However..."Phew—so full." Megumin put down her fork, wiped her mouth elegantly (not really) with her sleeve, and looked at the two calmly. "Sure, I'll join.""..."Haru was stunned."..."Kazuma was also stunned."Eh? You agreed that easily?" Kazuma couldn't help but ask. "Don't you need to consider it more? For example, our party is actually very poor, Aqua is up to her neck in debt, and Haru just committed suicide earlier...""It's fine." Megumin sighed, a hint of faint sadness showing in her eyes. "Actually... I've been looking for a party in Axel for three days. But whenever I say I only know Explosion Magic and can only fire once a day, those leaders throw me out like trash... You're the only ones who saw me collapse and were still willing to treat me to a meal."She suddenly stood up, covered her eyepatch with one hand, and her cloak fluttered without any wind (actually, it was moved by the commotion of Aquadrinking soup), returning to her chuunibyou posture."Since you possess such extraordinary vision and broad-mindedness, I shall acknowledge you as my companions! From this day forth, my Explosion Magic shall blaze a path forward for you!""Great! Now I can eat double portions of red frog meat!"Aqua wasn't listening at all, she was just cheering for having one more laborer who could be exchanged for money.Haru and Kazuma looked at each other. Although they had successfully recruited a powerful teammate, they felt... the "useless" concentration of this party seemed to have leveled up again."Um, Megumin." Haru couldn't help but ask. "Besides Explosion Magic, do you really... not know anything else? Like a basic Fireball?"Megumin shook her head seriously: "My life has no need for such soft magic. Only explosion is romance!""...Fine."Haru held his forehead.Romance is indeed romantic, but there's just an indescribable sense of weirdness.
Other's HappinessThe atmosphere at the dining table suddenly became somewhat strange.Kazuma gripped the fifty thousand eris tightly, his knuckles turning slightly white from the force.His facial expression control system had clearly completely malfunctioned; one moment the corners of his mouth would curl up into an extremely lecherous arc, and the next he would forcefully press them down to feign seriousness, making his entire face look like it was experiencing some kind of violent facial twitching.His eyes, which already looked somewhat unmotivated, were now desperately projecting high-frequency signals toward Haru.(Wink, wink, frantically winking)(Eye signal: Hey! Haru! Money! We have money! That place! That dream destination, run by a Succubus, where one can construct erotic dreams, a man's paradise! Let's go now!)Haru, of course, knew what he was thinking.After all, before setting off for the forest, the two of them had spent half the night studying that crumpled flyer. But watching his lecherous appearance, as if he couldn't wait to fly over there immediately, a mischievous urge rose in Haru's heart, and he decided to play dumb."What's wrong, Kazuma?" Haru calmly speared a piece of red frog meat and stuffed it into his mouth, looking at him with concern. "Why are your eyes twitching constantly? Could it be that when Aquaresurrected you just now, she connected your eye nerves incorrectly?""Pfft—!" Aqua, who was drinking soup, sprayed it out directly. She wiped her mouth while laughing loudly, "Wahahaha! That's very possible! After all, I was in such a rush when I resurrected him just now, maybe I really did stuff some strange parts into the wrong place! Hey, Kazuma, do you want me to kill you and resurrect you again to test it out? This time I guarantee a precise connection!""Shut up! You useless goddess who only knows how to spray water!" Kazuma growled, then turned his head and frantically gestured at Haru again.He first pointed to the money in his pocket, then pointed to the hidden corridor by the side door of the guild that had a small pink lantern hanging, and finally put his hands together, showing a humble expression that said, "I beg you, brother, take me with you.""Do you want to go to the toilet?" Haru feigned sudden realization, his voice loud enough for half the guild to hear. "Oh, when nature calls, there's no need to be embarrassed. Although that direction seems to lead to the back alley... Do you prefer to relieve yourself in the wild?"Several burly Adventurers drinking nearby burst into laughter upon hearing this."Hey...! Haru! You definitely did that on purpose!" Kazuma's face instantly turned the color of pig liver. He lowered his voice and leaned into Haru's ear, gnashing his teeth, "Succubus! A Succubus! Don't you want to see one? Didn't you just clamor about wanting to see eris? Now there's a more direct way to make you feel like you're in heaven, and you're actually acting innocent here?!""Succubus?" Megumin, who was burying her head in eating, suddenly raised her head, her red eye filled with innocent (chuunibyou) curiosity. "Isn't that the evil monster from legends that drains male life force? Although it was mentioned in the Crimson Demon textbooks, I didn't expect such a high-level monster to exist in a beginner town like Axel."She put down her spoon and looked at Haru and Kazuma with a serious face:"Haru, Kazuma, as companions, I have an obligation to warn you. That kind of monster makes people sink into false illusions, unable to extricate themselves, eventually leading to mana exhaustion and a depressed will. For those of us pursuing ultimate magic, that is a taboo that must absolutely not be touched!""Exactly, exactly!" Aqua also chimed in, completely unaware of what kind of place it was, just wanting to oppose Kazuma. "What's the point of going to such a low-class shop! With that money, you might as well buy me a few bottles of dew of remembrance (expensive alcohol)! I can perform Natures Beauty for you in your dreams!""Who wants to see you perform that useless talent!" Kazuma completely snapped. He stood up abruptly, grabbed Haru's arm, and dragged him out. "Haru, come out with me for a second! We have important tactics to discuss in private! Regarding tomorrow's hunting distribution!"Haru stumbled as he was dragged away, grabbing the staff leaning against the table on his way.Looking at Kazuma's impatient appearance, Harucouldn't help but feel a glimmer of anticipation in his heart.After all, in this world full of unreliable goddesses and explosion-loving lolis, if one doesn't even get to experience the last bit of tenderness like the Succubus Shop, then what's the point of being reincarnated?"Alright, alright, since you insist, let's go discuss 'tactics'." Haru turned his head and waved to the suspicious-looking Aqua and Megumin, "You guys keep eating, we'll be right back. Megumin, remember to go to the counter to get our room key when you're done, don't fall asleep in the guild.""Oh... then hurry back, I still want to hear Haru talk about the advanced usage of that beginner lightning magic."Megumin muttered, and immersed herself back into the deliciousness of the red frog meat.Haru was dragged all the way to the side door of the guild by Kazuma at a jog.Passing through that hidden little door, the scene in front of them instantly became ambiguous.Pink magical light emitted an alluring aura, and the air was filled with a sweet scent, completely isolating them from the hustle and bustle of the guild hall."Hoo... hoo..." Kazuma stopped, and under the pink light, his smile appeared extremely lecherous, "Haru, welcome to... the real otherworld."He took out the wish form that he had crumpled up from his pocket with trembling hands."Come on, Haru. Write down your wish. Whether it's Lady Eris, or Shopkeeper Wiz, or even that blue-haired idiot... as long as you want, they will all serve you in your dreams tonight."Pushing open the secret door with a small sign that said "Men Only," a cloyingly sweet scent that felt like it could melt the brain rushed towards them.The decor in the room was extremely bold, filled with pink and purple veils and soft cushions everywhere, and the walls were plastered with some revealing posters that would make a pure virgin self-combust on the spot just by looking at them."Hehehe... Haru, do you smell that? This is the smell of freedom, the smell of mature women!" Kazumaemitted a sinister laugh like a villainous big boss. He sank into a huge heart-shaped sofa, holding a cup of complimentary warm water with a sophisticated air, yet drinking it with the aura of an aged fine wine. "Tonight, I, Satou Kazuma, will completely bid farewell to that miserable past of being tortured by a useless goddess and an explosion-loving loli right here!""Cut the crap, Kazuma." Although Haru was also echoing him with a lecherous expression, when he actually picked up the pink paper printed with the dream customization form, his hand holding the quill involuntarily stiffened. "When it comes time to actually write... I feel so much pressure instead. Should I choose to be surrounded by gentle big sisters, or choose 'Conquering the Arrogant Crusader'? I feel like if I write it too plainly, the Succubus will look down on me, and if I write it too subtly, I'm afraid they'll misunderstand my intentions. What if they turn me into a sow in the dream?""Tsk, that's why you're still too green." Kazumacurled his lip, but on his paper, apart from a huge 'eris' at the beginning, the rest was full of scratch marks.Apparently, this guy was also struggling with whether to have the goddess gently pour tea, or have the goddess cry while being done 'this and that' by him.Suddenly, Kazuma's eyes rolled, and he revealed an extremely dangerous, cunning look."Hey, Haru. If we keep going like this, we won't finish writing until dawn. How about this—let's swap forms! You write for me, I write for you!""Huh? Swap?" Haru raised an eyebrow, looking at him suspiciously."Exactly! This is called the Kink Test!" The more Kazuma talked, the more excited he became, slapping the table and standing up. "We'll write down what the other person usually wants to try the most but is too embarrassed to say out loud. This will not only increase the surprise factor, but also let us see what kind of perverts we are in each other's eyes! Of course, for the sake of fairness, you are absolutely not allowed to peek at the other person's content while writing. Once finished, fold it directly and hand it to the Succubus clerk! How about it, dare you play?"Haru looked at Kazuma's sincere expression, which seemed to say 'I will definitely write a good dream for you,' and sneered in his heart: This guy is definitely trying to set me up, one hundred percent, he's going to write some hellish dream about me being licked in turns by a hundred giant frogs.However, when it comes to setting people up, how could he, the King of Lecherousness, lose?"Alright, deal!" Haru revealed a smile even more brilliant than Kazuma's, quickly handing over his form and taking his empty one. "Whoever peeks is a useless idiot like Aqua! Come on, let's bestow blessings for each other's happiness!"Thus, under the ambiguous lights of the Succubus Shop, two men, each harboring their own secret agenda, sat back-to-back, their quill pens making rapid rustling sounds on the paper.Countless lecherous ideas flashed through Haru's mind.Hehehe, Kazuma, oh Kazuma, since you like Goddess Eris so much... then I'll add some flavor for you in the dream.For example, just when you are about to kiss the gentle Lady Eris, she suddenly turns into Aqua, then sprays 'Natures Beauty' on your face, and finally demands that you pay a one million eris resurrection fee.And behind Haru, Kazuma's shoulders were also shaking violently, clearly immersed in some kind of malicious creative pleasure."Done writing!""I'm done too!"The two turned around simultaneously, folding the notes into tight creases in perfect unison, and then handed them with righteous expressions to the Succubus who had appeared beside them at some point.The Succubus, wearing a black lace nightgown and dragging a heart-shaped tail behind her, took the two notes. After glancing at the content, the smile on her face instantly became somewhat stiff, even carrying a hint of imperceptible sympathy."Um... two guests, are you sure... you really want to experience this tonight? Although our service is aimed at fulfilling wishes, this kind of... this level of wish, even for us Succubi, is a bit too avant-garde...""No problem! This is a man's romance!" Kazumagave a thumbs up, his eyes as firm as if he were going to participate in a holy war."That's right, please be sure to present it in its original flavor." Haru held back his laughter, already beginning to imagine the desperate look on Kazuma's face when he woke up tomorrow morning."...Alright." The Succubus sighed, tucked away the notes, "Then, please go straight to sleep after returning to your lodging tonight. Our Succubi will sneak into your dreams in the middle of the night to construct this... avant-garde paradise for you. I wish you an unforgettable night."When they walked out of the Succubus Shop, Haruand Kazuma walked side by side on the streets of Axel, the moonlight lengthening their shadows.Haru and Kazuma patted each other on the shoulders, laughing like a pair of inseparable brothers."Haru, you will definitely thank me tonight.""Likewise, Kazuma, you will also experience a climax like never before."Both of them silently thought to themselves: Die! You lecherous pervert!