Chapter 82: Mobile Fortress DestroyerThe air in the shop instantly grew thick with tension.Aqua's long, water-blue hair stirred without a breeze, and her entire being radiated an aura that was divine yet permeated with a hint of stupidity."Who are you calling a creature with moss growing in its brain?! You devil wearing a suspicious mask and reeking of filth! Watch as I purify you into fertilizer for Axel! Sacred High Exorcism!!"Aqua shrieked, clasping her hands together, and a blinding white light shot straight at Vanir's face like a searchlight."Hahahahaha! Useless, useless! A goddess like you, who is good for nothing but sacred power—your attacks in my eyes are even slower than a snail crawling!" Vanir let out a burst of wild laughter. He did not dodge, but instead elegantly waved his black cloak, and the purifying radiance, which would have turned an ordinary Undead to ash, hit him like it struck a mirror, forcibly neutralized by the pitch-black magical power swirling around him.A contemptuous sneer came from beneath Vanir's mask, and then his tone suddenly turned deep and eerie:"However, compared to the boring business of purifying me, haven't you noticed? On the distant horizon, that steel nightmare created by ancient mages, which only knows how to run blindly, has already caught the scent of this town! It is a violent fortune capable of trampling all civilization, and it is also...""Wait, Vanir, what did you just say?"Haru's hand holding the spatula paused slightly, and that intense feeling of unease washed over him again."That's right! I have already foreseen it! That behemoth known as the Mobile Fortress Destroyeris approaching with a rumbling sound that destroys everything! It is even troublesome for me...""Thump!!"Vanir's epic prophecy was cut short by a dull thud.Haru and Kazuma acted almost simultaneously—Haru precisely struck the back of Aqua's head with the handle of his spatula as she prepared to cast a second spell, while Kazuma utilized his EX-level agility to leap and put her in a chokehold, pinning the screaming Aqua onto the counter."Shut up! You useless goddess who only knows how to cause trouble!" Kazuma growled through gritted teeth, tightly covering Aqua's mouth. "Didn't you hear this guy talking about serious business? The Mobile Fortress Destroyer! That's a monster that can level the entire town! You still have the heart to play at some grand battle between gods and demons here?!""Mmph, mmph, let me go, I want to purify him!!" Aqua struggled desperately in Kazuma's arms, kicking her legs wildly like a dehydrated salted fish.Haru tucked his spatula into his apron and stared intensely at Vanir:"Vanir, stop beating around the bush. Although I really want to believe your prophecy, you surely didn't appear at a time like this just to give a free warning, right? Tell me, how much longer until that thing arrives? And... does your appearance here mean you have a way to deal with it, or do you want to reap some negative emotions from this disaster?"Vanir looked at the goddess who had been instantly subdued by two mortals. The expression on his mask seemed to stiffen for a moment, then he erupted into even more arrogant laughter:"Hahahaha! Interesting! Truly interesting! Mr. Lin Jin, you actually interrupted the terrifying atmosphere I so carefully crafted so easily! That's right, the Destroyer is expected to arrive in Axel in three days. As for me... I just want to see what kind of twisted and delicious expressions you tiny humans will make when shrouded in the shadow of despair. Of course, if you let me eat that pot of beef, I might be merciful enough to tell you where the Destroyer's core weakness is."Wiz was so scared on the side that she was almost turning transparent:"D-Destroyer?! Is that thing coming here? Wuwawa, my shop! My inventory! Mr. Lin Jin, what should we do?!"Amidst this chaos, Haru displayed a calmness that exceeded ordinary people.He unhurriedly drizzled the last spoonful of rich sauce over the beef. The complex aroma, a mix of wine and meat, even made the struggling Aquaquiet down for three seconds, her nose twitching desperately."Alright, everyone sit down. Since Vanir says we still have three days, we have enough time to finish this meal."Haru's voice was not loud, but it carried an unquestionable authority.He served large bowls of beef stewed in red wine onto the laboratory table piled high with magic potions, casually dished out a portion for Vanir, and even thoughtfully garnished it with a leaf of herbs."Eat. Once you're full, I still need to take these troublemakers to the Adventurers Guild to find Ms. Miss Luna. Since that big steel can is coming, we have to get the whole town moving; otherwise, relying on just us, we won't be able to move that pile of scrap metal."Vanir let out a hum of appreciation. He brought his masked face close to the bowl and took a deep breath of the aroma:"Hahaha, Mr. Lin Jin, your composure is enough to earn you a seat in Hell. Well then, as payment for this delicious meal, I can reveal a little bit: the Destroyer's core is driven by an extremely ancient and rigid magic circuit. As long as you can cut off its power flow, it's just an expensive tombstone. As for how to cut it off... Mmm, the taste of this beef is truly superb!"After a meal that was devoured in a whirlwind, Aqua was slumped ungracefully in her chair, rubbing her stomach, while Megumin was diligently wiping her staff, her eyes flashing with a red light of eagerness."Let's go, Kazuma. Take Aqua and Megumin, we're going to the Adventurers Guild to report the bad news." Haru untied his apron and gave Wiz a reassuring smile. "Wiz, lock the shop door, and try not to stock any strange items for the next few days. If the town can't be defended, your inventory will really turn into fireworks.""Y-yes! Mr. Lin Jin, please be careful!"Wiz stood at the doorway, waving goodbye with teary eyes, looking like a young wife seeing off her husband on an expedition.Fifteen minutes later, at the Axel Adventurers Guild.It was the afternoon, and the guild was still bustling, with Adventurers bragging about their morning hunt results.Ms. Miss Luna was standing behind the counter, dealing with a headache-inducing pile of complaint reports regarding the cabbage infestation."Bang!!"Haru strode up to the counter and slammed his hands onto the tabletop, his expression so serious that Miss Luna dropped the quill in her hand."Ms. Miss Luna, please sound the emergency alarm immediately. I have very solid intelligence that the Mobile Fortress Destroyer has locked onto Axel and is expected to arrive in three days."The entire guild instantly fell into a deathly silence.Miss Luna froze for a full three seconds, then let out a high-pitched scream:"Eh eh eh?! Mr. Lin Jin, you can't make jokes like that! That's the legendary... the one that leaves no grass growing wherever it goes...""Do I look like I'm joking?" Haru pointed to Kazumabehind him, who had a deranged grin on his face, and Aqua, who was trying to sneak a drink of the treasured red wine behind the counter. "The source of intelligence is absolutely reliable. Now, we need the highest-level mages in the city, the Crusaders with the highest defense, and all available resources."Miss Luna's face turned from pale to ashen. With trembling hands, she pushed the emergency lever behind the counter that was covered in red velvet."Clang—! Clang—! Clang—!"The dull and urgent sound of the bell instantly spread to every corner of Axel.The Adventurers who were previously bragging, drinking, and flirting with the receptionist girl all froze; this bell meant a disaster of town-survival level.In less than ten minutes, the guild hall was packed, and even the high-level Adventurers who usually hid in corners appeared, every face filled with unease."Hey! Ms. Miss Luna, what happened? Did the Demon Kings Army attack?""Did the cabbages mutate into Godzilla?!"The noisy discussions were about to blow the roof off.Miss Luna looked at Haru for help. Haru took a deep breath, and under everyone's gaze, jumped directly onto the sturdiest oak round table in the center of the guild."Everyone! Quiet! Listen to me!"Haru channeled his magic, his voice clearly overriding all the noise.The whole place went silent.Haru surveyed his surroundings, seeing faces filled with fear. Even Kazuma was desperately winking at him from below, signaling Haru not to be too definitive.Haru smiled slightly, revealing a highly infectious (and full of cult-leader vibes) smile."I have some good news and some bad news for everyone. The bad news is that the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, that legendary steel can that can chew up a country like a biscuit, is coming to Axel to do some demolition in three days.""Eh eh eh eh?!"Screams rose one after another, and some people were already planning to sell their property and run away."But!" Haru swung his arm violently, pointing out the window. "The good news is! That big can is composed entirely of ancient rare metals and high-purity magic ore! In other words, that's not some monster; that is—a walking mountain of eris!"The Adventurers were stunned, and a hint of greedy green light gradually appeared in their previously fearful eyes."Just think about it! If we can take it apart, everyone in Axel can get a full set of enchanted armor! Your unpaid bar tabs, gambling debts, and even the underwear you want to redeem—none of that will be a problem anymore!" Haru continued to incite them, his tone impassioned. "Besides, we have the strongest class Adventurer (referring to Kazuma), a goddess who can release sacred miracles (referring to Aqua, who was currently stealing wine), and the Crimson Demon Clan's most genius user of Explosion Magic (referring to Megumin)! Plus you, the best (useless) elites of Axel, why should we run? What we should be considering is, after we take it apart, how we should distribute the wealth that's enough to buy half a kingdom!""Ooooooh!!""Mr. Lin Jin is right! That's money! It's money running towards us!""Take it down! Split the inheritance!!"Morale instantly soared from negative to off the charts.Kazuma watched from the side, dumbfounded, and muttered: "Hey, Haru, this isn't just inciting anymore, this is a pyramid scheme... If we can't beat it, these people are going to tear you apart, right?""It's fine, if we can't beat it, they won't have the chance to tear me apart."
WTR-LABKonosuba: A Comedy for the World of Grotesque ParodiesCh. 83 / 38121.8%WebWeb+AI#83Chapter 83 IntelligenceChapter 83: IntelligenceThe fervor in the Adventurers Guild hall did not last long; as Haru stepped down from the round table, the cold water of reality was quickly splashed onto the heads of some people.Led by Dust, a few veteran Adventurers were huddled in a corner, clutching their beer mugs tightly, whispering to each other with grim expressions."Hey, Haru! Stop feeding us empty promises!" Duststood up abruptly, his voice trembling slightly. "That is the Destroyer! I heard rumors when I was hanging around the capital; that thing can flatten a village with a single step, and even the national Knights Order can do nothing against it! 'Goddess Erismountain,' my foot, I think it's more like a mass grave! Listen to me, everyone, while we still have three days, packing up and evacuating to the neighboring town is the only sensible thing to do!"The Adventurers, who had been stirred up, suddenly fell into a commotion, and many began to show signs of hesitation.Haru swept a cold glance at Dust, ignored his clamoring, and instead turned to give Miss Luna a few low instructions before taking Kazuma, Aqua, and Megumin back to Wiz's magic item shop.Right now, what was needed was more precise intelligence, not a meaningless war of words.When they pushed open the shop door again, Wizwas huddled behind the counter, shivering while clutching that [Good Luck Spray], while Vanir sat to the side, leisurely playing with tarot cards."Wiz, stop shivering, it's me." Haru walked to the counter and tapped lightly on the tabletop. "Regarding that Destroyer, you are a former Demon Kings Army General, you should know some inside information that isn't in the Adventurers Guildarchives, right? For example, its creator, or what exactly is going on with that damn magic shield of its."Wiz looked up, her face pale to the point of transparency: "Mr. Lin Jin... that thing was never built for combat. It was an experimental product created for fun by a crazy otherworld reincarnator a long time ago. It possesses a terrifying random reflection shield; any magic that hits it has the potential to be reflected back twofold...""Reflect magic?" Megumin exclaimed, clutching her staff tightly. "Then my Explosion Magic...""If you blast it directly onto the shield, Axel might be razed to the ground by your Explosion Magic before the Destroyer even steps on it." Vanir elegantly flipped over a Death card, his tone mocking. "Moreover, that thing's power source is corona ore, a highly unstable, large-scale energy body that could trigger a nuclear explosion at any moment. Even if you defeat it, if you don't handle the power source properly, the result will be the same—a loud 'bang,' and everyone will go to meet Goddess Eristogether."Kazuma's face had already turned ashen: "Hey, hey, hey! This is basically a suicide truck! Big brother, that guy Dust is right, let's just run! Being a refugee in the neighboring town is better than being blown to ashes here!"Haru ignored Kazuma's near-desperate wailing and slowly turned his head, locking his gaze onto Aqua, who was trying to sneak a bottle of high-end holy dew wine from Wiz's counter into her arms."Aqua."Haru's tone was flat, yet it carried a pressure that made one's spine chill."Eh? Yes, here! I wasn't sneaking a drink, I was just helping Wiz check the seal on the wine bottle!" Aqua's hand shook in fright, and the bottle almost dropped onto her foot. She hurriedly struck a serious Goddess pose. "Why are you looking at me with such a terrifying gaze all of a sudden? Is it because I failed to purify that masked jerk earlier, and now you're going to deduct my beef quota?"Haru walked up to her, placed both hands on her shoulders, and stared straight into those clear, water-blue eyes that one could see right through to the bottom (and could even see the remaining balance of her IQ):"As the Goddess of Water, your understanding of barriers and magic circuits should be world-class, right? Wiz says that the Destroyer is covered in a layer of random reflection shield, which is a mess left behind by an ancient reincarnator. Since it's a magical product, you should have a way to peel it open like an onion, right?"Aqua froze for a moment, then, as if she had been greatly insulted, puffed out her cheeks and put her hands on her hips, her ample chest heaving violently:"Huh?! Haru, are you doubting me? I am the Archpriest Aqua! A barrier of this level is like a child's doodle in front of my divine power! As long as I get serious, whether it's a reflection barrier or some defense circuit, I can disintegrate them all in an instant! After all, I am the Goddess specifically responsible for purifying and breaking evil things!""Really? That's something even national-level mages are helpless against, you know."Haru deliberately raised an eyebrow, his tone carrying a hint of doubt."Really! It's absolutely true! Truer than real gold!" Aqua took the bait, waving her fists excitedly. "As long as you give me enough magic power support, plus a little bit... hmm, a little bit of high-grade sparkling wine to serve as a medium to inspire my creativity, I can make the outer shell of that big can thinner than paper! Then Megumin can blast it however she wants!"Haru nodded with satisfaction and turned to look at Wiz and Vanir:"Alright, the plan is taking shape. Aqua is responsible for violently dismantling the external barrier, Megumin is responsible for pinpointing the power room for an explosion the moment the barrier disappears, and Wiz..." Haru paused, his eyes becoming deep. "You are responsible for teleporting that piece of corona ore to an uninhabited wilderness before the power source goes out of control. As for me and Kazuma, we will be responsible for dealing with those self-defense mechanical monsters that crawl out of the Destroyer's belly.""Hahaha, the plan sounds perfect, but Mr. Lin Jin, you seem to have missed one of the most critical issues." Vanir elegantly tapped the tabletop, his eyes behind the mask flickering with an eerie light. "That Destroyer can move. How do you intend to make this group of Adventurers, each with their own ulterior motives and some even wanting to run away, precisely coordinate with you to complete this complex combo before it flattens Axel?"A meaningful arc curled at the corner of Haru's mouth. He leisurely released his hand from Aqua's shoulder and instead pointed toward the Adventurers Guild outside the window, where the clamor still echoed."Vanir, you underestimate the potential humans can unleash when faced with greed and survival. Especially this group of guys who have managed to survive until now in a place like Axel, where freaks gather."Haru turned around, signaling for Kazuma and Megumin to follow: "Since some of them want to run and some want to fight, we will give them a reason they have to fight. Kazuma, get your Lurkand Enemy Detection ready; we're going to the Adventurers Guild to put on a show. Megumin, how are your Explosion Magic incantations coming along? I need you to give those wavering guys a bit of visual shock at the critical moment.""As long as you don't make me release it now, I can chant the finale that will make the soul tremble at any time!"Although Megumin's face was a bit pale, the chuunibyou fervor in her eyes had already burned to its peak.When they pushed open the Adventurers Guilddoors again, the atmosphere in the hall was even more oppressive than before.Dust was standing on a table, waving his arms and shouting loudly: "Everyone! Listen to me! That brat Haru wants us to go to our deaths! He has a Goddess blessing him, so of course he's not afraid, but for ordinary Adventurers like us, going up there is just offering ourselves as snacks for the Destroyer! While the bells haven't reached the neighboring town yet, let's hurry...""Hurry to do what? Hurry to the neighboring town to become a vagrant who is looked down upon even for his underwear?"Haru's voice was not loud, but it precisely pierced through Dust's roar.The Adventurers Guild instantly fell silent, and everyone's gaze focused on Haru once again.PS: Dear readers, I beg you, please send some free power for love votes, I will work hard to update!!! I'm about to start the explosive update mode, okay? Please, I beg you.
Chapter 84: GatheringHaru did not step onto the round table. Instead, he walked directly to Miss Luna's counter, pulled out a parchment scroll with the guild's official seal—prepared at some unknown time—from his breast pocket, and slammed it heavily onto the table."Miss Miss Luna, I have already confirmed with the former Demon Kings Army General (Wiz) that the Destroyer's shield is not invincible. Now, in my capacity as the temporary defense commander of Axel, I am issuing the first mobilization order."Haru glanced around at the Adventurers who wore expressions of doubt, fear, and even greed:"First! All Adventurers who choose to stay and participate in the defense will split all the erisexchanged from the Destroyer's wreckage equally after the battle! According to Vanir's estimation, that is a fortune of at least two billion eris!"As soon as the figure of two billion was mentioned, the sound of collective gasps filled the hall, and even Dust's expression stiffened for a moment."Second!" Haru's tone shifted, becoming grim and icy. "For all cowards who choose to flee at this time, the guild will immediately revoke their Adventurerstatus and confiscate all their real estate and savings in Axel as wartime supplies! Not only that, I will have Aqua cast a curse of misfortune on all escape routes, ensuring you encounter trouble far more terrifying than the Destroyer on your way out!""Eh?! Since when did I learn that kind of—" Aquawas about to ruin the moment when Kazuma quickly stuffed a piece of beef jerky he had swiped from Wiz's shop into her mouth, causing her to instantly emit satisfied whimpers."L-Haru! This is highway robbery!"Dust's face turned red with anger."Say whatever you want, Dust. Since you think the Destroyer is invincible, then stay and watch how I lead this group of lunatics willing to take a gamble to tear down that mountain of gold." Haru suddenly turned to look at the Adventurers who were still hesitating. "Instead of starving to death on the road while fleeing, you might as well make a fortune here with me! Now, those who want money, go register with Miss Miss Luna! Those who want their lives, get out through the gate now, but don't blame me for not warning you—the world outside doesn't have a Haru to wipe your asses!"Haru's almost insane confidence and blatant lure of profit instantly ignited these gambler-like Adventurers."Damn it! Two billion! Even split up, I'll be able to buy a mansion! I'm in!""Mr. Lin Jin, count me in! It's just a hunk of metal, right? I'm a professional at demolition!"Watching the crowd begin to surge frantically toward the counter, the corners of Haru's mouth curled up slightly.The mobilization was complete, but this was only the beginning.To turn this ragtag bunch into parts that could cooperate with Aqua and Megumin, he still needed a shield that could make them feel absolutely secure."Kazuma, let's go. Let's invite our masochistic knight to come out. If she hears she'll be facing a giant monster that can repeatedly trample her and even shatter the armor on her body, I guarantee she'll come running and crawling."In a corner of the guild hall, Dust was sneakily carrying a large bag, creeping toward the back door with a few other equally panicked Adventurers.Clearly, while the grand ambition of 'two billion' was moving, these old foxes still chose self-preservation in the face of a death threat."Hey, Dust. Where are you planning to go on an expedition?"Haru's ghostly voice rang out behind Dust, scaring him so much he almost performed a vertical leap on the spot.Haru and Satou Kazuma stood side by side, both wearing an identical, eerie smile that radiated the aura of kindred spirits."L-Haru! And Kazuma! Don't even think about stopping me!" Dust clutched his bundle tightly and shouted in a low voice, "What's the use of money if your life is gone? I've decided, I'm going to the neighboring city to start over! The cabbage there might not be as sweet as here, but at least there aren't any walking steel monsters!"Haru and Kazuma exchanged a glance, and Kazumaimmediately understood, stepping forward with a scummy expression that looked as if he had found a long-lost partner in crime:"Oh my, Dust. Going to the neighboring city is indeed nice, but haven't you forgotten something? The neighboring city doesn't have *that*..."Dust blinked: "That? Which that?"Haru stepped forward, intimately putting an arm around Dust's shoulder, his tone carrying a sorrowful inducement:"You know, *that*. That dream shop run by gentle Succubus big sisters where you only need to fill out a form to enjoy paradise in your dreams, and the payment is just a tiny bit of essence... Do you think if the Destroyer flattens Axel, those poor, homeless Succubi will be able to continue providing us with such humanitarian care?"Dust's body froze suddenly, and the bundle in his arms let out a crisp clinking sound.Kazuma began to pile on the pressure from the side, his tone extremely provocative: "Exactly! Think about it, how could those deathly serious guilds in the neighboring city tolerate the existence of such an evil shop? If you run and Axel is gone, you'll never be able to fill out that wish list again for the rest of your life! No more cat-ear maids, no more gentle mature ladies, only those muscle-bound, crude brutes in the neighboring city who'll only make you haul bricks!""Don't... don't say any more..."Dust's breathing began to quicken, his eyes filled with struggle.Haru struck while the iron was hot, whispering in Dust's ear: "And I heard that to thank the heroes who protect the town, the Succubus Shop decided to launch a Hero-Limited Package after the battle. Anyone who participates in the defense will have their dream experience doubled that night, and there's even... a multi-person brawl mode.""M-Multi-person brawl?!"Dust and the Adventurers behind him let out a chorus of out-of-tune exclamations simultaneously."That's right." Haru nodded solemnly. "But the premise is that the shop has to still be there. If the shop is stepped on and flattened, you'll only be able to dream of the Destroyer's big foot while clutching your bundle in a slum in the neighboring city."Silence.A deathly silence.Three seconds later, Dust slammed his bundle onto the ground and let out an earth-shattering roar:"Bastards! Whoever dares touch my Succubus Shop, I'll fight them to the death! The Destroyer is nothing! It's just a pile of walking scrap metal! Wanting me to quit my nightly spiritual food? Not a chance!!""Oooooh! Protect the Succubus Shop! Protect our dreams!!"The Adventurers behind him also acted as if they had been injected with chicken blood; their originally decadent aura instantly became more violent than a berserker's.Kazuma gave Haru a thumbs up and whispered, "Big brother, in terms of being despicable, I, Satou Kazuma, acknowledge you as the strongest. To use such a reason... however, I absolutely cannot let that shop disappear either!"Haru calmly clapped his hands, watching this group of guys, whose battle spirits were reignited for their dreams, surge toward the counter to re-register.Now, morale was finally unified in the most unscrupulous, yet most solid way possible.
Chapter 85: For the Peace of Axel!The setting sun dyed the streets of Axel in an ambiguous orange hue.Haru led Satou Kazuma through several secluded alleys with practiced ease, stopping before a small wooden door with a low-key pink sign."Big brother, even though I know we're here on official business, why is my heart beating faster than when I'm facing the Destroyer?"Kazuma wiped the sweat from his nose while looking around stealthily, terrified of being spotted by Aqua or that stalker-like Megumin."Calm down, Kazuma. We are conducting pre-battle psychological intervention; this is a top-level military operation."Haru straightened his collar with a straight face and pushed open the door to paradise.The shop was filled with a sweet, relaxing aroma.Several Succubi, dressed scantily with heart-shaped tails behind them, were gathered together, gloomily discussing their relocation plans.Seeing someone enter, the leader—a mature Succubus Shopkeeper with long purple hair—blanked for a moment before flashing a professional, gentle smile."Welcome... Ah, it's Mr. Lin Jin and Mr. Kazuma. We'd love to host you, but we heard that terrifying Destroyer is coming, so we're preparing to evacuate.""Evacuate? No, Miss Shopkeeper, you don't need to go anywhere." Haru strode to the counter, leaning his hands on the surface, his eyes full of integrity (and a certain unspeakable fervor). "All the Adventurers in Axel have sworn to protect this shop even if they are ground to Dust. But right now, they need a little... substantial psychological solace to maintain that desperate momentum."Kazuma nodded frantically by his side, his tone so sincere it was practically dripping. "Exactly! Miss Shopkeeper, think about it. If those hot-blooded men on the battlefield think that as long as they survive, they'll get a Heroic Dream Voucher personally filled out by you, their explosive combat power will definitely tear the Destroyer into scrap metal!"The shopkeeper and the Succubi looked at each other, then couldn't help but giggle, covering their mouths. "Hehe, you two gentlemen are quite humorous. However, if the town can really be saved, we would certainly like to do our part. After all, we don't want to leave this place that has been so kind to us."She pulled out a stack of faintly scented pink cards from under the counter and stamped them with the Succubus Shop's unique red lip seal."These are Battlefield Hero Condolence Vouchers. Adventurers holding these will not only enjoy a dream of double duration after the war, but can also choose a Succubus for special guidance within the dream. Mr. Lin Jin, I'll leave these to you to distribute to those brave boys."Haru took the heavy stack of cards, feeling as though he wasn't holding paper, but the very battle soul of Axel."No problem, leave it to me. Also..." Haru lowered his voice, revealing a devilish smile. "As a reward for commanders like Kazuma and me who go deep behind enemy lines, shouldn't there be two Special Grade Black Cards? After all, the pressure we face is the greatest.""Oh, Mr. Lin Jin, you're so naughty." The shopkeeper winked, her slender fingers deftly plucking out two cards shimmering with a dark gold luster and tucking them into his hand. "This is the highest-level Full Bucket dream. I wish you both success in battle."As they walked out of the Succubus Shop, Kazumalooked at the black card in his hand, falling into a state of saint-like ecstasy."Big brother! I'm following you for the rest of my life! As for the Destroyer, watch me use Steal to swipe every single one of its screws!!"Haru calmly put away the black card and looked at the last rays of the setting sun on the horizon. "Alright, the spiritual atomic bomb is in hand. Let's go to the Guild to show off these vouchers, and then... we should head to that young lady's house for the final mobilization."When Haru and Satou Kazuma pushed open the doors of the Adventurers Guild again, the hall, which had been slightly anxious and suppressed, instantly fell into a dead silence.Everyone's eyes were like radar, staring fixedly at the stack of cards in his hand that emitted a faint pink fragrance.Haru unhurriedly walked up to the central round table, deliberately standing on the surface that represented power.He slowly pulled a card from the stack, held it between two fingers, and gently shook it under the light.The red lip seal on it looked exceptionally alluring under the dim lamplight."Everyone, quiet."Haru's voice wasn't loud, but at this moment, even a pin drop could be heard clearly."Just now, Kazuma and I visited the Succubus Shop. The shopkeeper was deeply moved to hear that everyone is fighting to protect the town and their paradise. She has specifically entrusted me to distribute these Battlefield Hero Condolence Vouchers to every warrior registered for the Defense Battle."Haru paused deliberately, looking at the pairs of glowing green eyes below, his tone becoming extremely seductive."This isn't just a dream of double duration. The shopkeeper personally promised that as long as we save the town, those holding this voucher can enjoy special services from a Succubus of their choice that night, and there's even... the legendary Full Bucketsurprise.""Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh!!!"The entire Guild hall was like a heavy bomb had been dropped into it, erupting in a roar loud enough to blow the roof off!"Haru! You're my real father! Give me one! No, give me two! I'll go down with the Destroyer!!""Full Bucket! Is that the forbidden realm that only the royalty and nobles of the Royal Capital can enjoy?! I'm in! I'm putting my life on the line!!"Amidst the frenzy, Dust's behavior was the most exaggerated.He had somehow obtained a quill and a tattered piece of parchment and was sprawled over a nearby tavern table, writing frantically, with tears of excitement even hanging from the corners of his eyes."Dust, what are you doing?"Kazuma leaned over curiously to take a look."Shut up! I'm writing my will!" Dust didn't even look back, his pen moving rapidly. "I'm leaving all my assets to the Succubus Shop as a construction fund! If I die, please scatter my ashes in the flowerbed in front of the shop so I can protect those gentle ladies forever! Haru, the voucher! Give me the voucher! I'm going to sew it to my chest; it's my protective talisman!!"Watching this group of Adventurers who had completely entered a berserk state, Haru sighed inwardly. Sure enough, in Axel, desire is the primary productive force."Don't fight! Everyone gets one! As long as you confirm your registration with Miss Miss Luna and follow my command for the next three days, these vouchers are yours!"Haru handed the stack of cards to Miss Luna, who was already dumbfounded and even a bit flushed with embarrassment."Alright, Kazuma." Haru jumped off the round table and patted his best friend, who was still grinning foolishly at the black card. "Morale is overflowing. Next, we need to handle the most troublesome combatant. If Darkness finds out we're going to face a monster that will rip her clothes to shreds and repeatedly trample her with giant iron feet, I'm afraid she'll faint from excitement."Kazuma wiped his drool, his eyes becoming incredibly firm. "Let's go, big brother! For the Full Bucket... no, for the peace of Axel! Let's move out!"
Chapter 86: The Unfamiliar DarknessHaru and Kazuma jogged along, passing through the quiet and luxurious streets of the noble district, and finally stopped in front of the imposing mansion of Dustiness Family."Listen up, Kazuma, in a moment we need to describe that Mobile Fortress Destroyer as an ultimate pervert that stands one hundred meters tall, is covered in tentacles, and specializes in peeling off a female knight's armor piece by piece before rubbing her repeatedly in the mud." Harulowered his voice, a standard twisted smile appearing on his face. "Only then will that Darknesscome crawling to the battlefield and block the front for everyone."Kazuma gave a thumbs-up, looking deeply convinced: "Got it, Big Brother! I'll even add some details, like how the robot's joints will spray sticky oil, messing up all her hair and stuff!"However, when that heavy door slowly opened, the person who appeared before them was not the masochistic female knight who usually turned red and panted at the mere mention of being ravished.Darkness was currently standing quietly in the center of the courtyard, her silver Crusader armor reflecting a cold and solemn glow under the moonlight.She didn't show the usual unsettling look of anticipation. Instead, one hand rested on the hilt of the broadsword at her waist, her gaze like a torch, her expression as firm and immovable as a mountain."Haru, Kazuma. You've arrived."Darkness's voice was low and powerful, carrying a dignity never seen before.She slowly turned around, her cape flapping in the breeze."I have already learned about the Mobile Fortress Destroyer from the intelligence network of the Dustiness Family. It is an ancient weapon that once plunged countless nations into despair. As the acting lord guarding this town, and as the heir to the Dustiness Family, I will never allow that steel monster to set foot in Axel."Haru was stunned. The long, twisted speech he had prepared about "oil, trampling, and tearing clothes" got stuck in his throat, and he awkwardly swallowed it back."Uh, Lalatina... are you okay? I mean, that monster is really big, and its soles are very rough. Being stepped on by it would definitely... be very painful, right?"Kazuma tentatively cast the bait, his eyes full of confusion.Darkness, however, just shook her head calmly. Her eyes were so clear that it made the two of them feel like strangers:"Pain and humiliation are nothing compared to the safety of the public. Haru, I know you usually like to make excessive jokes, but this is war. I have already gathered the remaining private soldiers of the family and prepared all the defensive supplies. No matter how invincible that monster may be, I will serve as the shield of Axel and fight to the end."She suddenly drew the broadsword—which had a touching hit rate but an excellent appearance—and pointed it toward the distant horizon:"For the glory of the goddess eris, for the people of Axel! I, Darkness, swear to protect this place to the death!"Haru and Kazuma looked at each other, the air filled with an awkward atmosphere of "seriousness.""Haru... this isn't right." Kazuma leaned into Haru's ear and whispered in horror, "That perverted female knight has actually become serious? This is scarier than the Destroyer coming! Could it be that the pressure is too high, causing her mental attributes to completely reverse?!"Haru looked at the saintly, righteous Darkness, and the corner of his mouth twitched.Although the plan did require a reliable meat shield, this "true knight mode" that didn't follow the script at all made Haru's twisted plans feel useless."Ahem, since you have such determination, that is of course for the best. But... Darkness, are you sure you don't need me to describe the robot's special attack methods in more detail? It's really visually impactful, you know?"Haru still wanted to confirm one last time."There is no need for that, Haru." Darknessinterrupted Haru righteously, her eyes firm, "Even if the armor is shattered, even if I am trapped in the mud, that is the price paid for justice. Please issue the order, Commander!"Haru restrained the playful, twisted smile on his face, his eyes becoming more solemn than ever before.He looked at Darkness, who stood in the moonlight looking heroic and lacking any of her usual lewd aura, and his heart couldn't help but tremble slightly.Although he always joked about her masochistic nature, at this very moment, Haru truly felt the heavy sense of responsibility hidden beneath the absurd exterior of this eldest daughter of a great noble family."Since you have that kind of resolve, I won't say any more nonsense." Haru reached out and patted Darkness's cold, sturdy shoulder armor heavily. "Lalatina, I now officially appoint you as the vanguard of the Axel United Defense Force. The lives of all the Adventurers in the city, and the thousands of lights behind them, are all entrusted to your shield."Darkness's pupils shrank slightly, then she puffed out her chest and gave a solemn knight's salute: "I will not fail you! Commander!"Satou Kazuma, standing to the side, was dumbfounded and couldn't help but rub his eyes: "—Hey, Haru, are you actually getting serious too? What's with this hot-blooded manga-like development? My urge to make a retort is about to explode!""Shut up, Kazuma. The current Axel needs this kind of serious power." Haru said to Kazuma in a low voice, then turned to look at Darkness, "Let's go, Vanguard. Follow me back to the guild. There is a group of mobsters there whose brains have been clouded by desire, and they need your pure light of justice to physically purify them."When Haru brought the dignified and righteous Darkness back into the Adventurers Guild, Dust and the others, who were still pulling each other's hair over a succubus coupon, instantly froze.The silver-haired knight strode to the central round table, and the broadsword in her hand struck the ground with a dull, loud thud."Fellow Adventurers! I am Darkness of Dustiness Family!" Her voice was like a booming bell, instantly suppressing the noise of the entire room. "I have heard of your determination to fight to protect the town, and that is good! But if you are only fighting for that... that superficial coupon, that is an insult to the Adventurer's badge!"The Adventurers below looked at each other. Dustwas still clutching a crumpled coupon in his hand, awkwardly trying to stuff it into his pocket."Listen up! The Destroyer is not an opponent that can be defeated by dreaming! From now on, everyone must accept unified tactical arrangements! I will stand on the front line and block all trampling and impacts for you! If anyone dares to retreat on the battlefield, my sword (even if it can't hit anything) will not be lenient!"Watching the Adventurers who were so intimidated by Darkness's majesty that they dared not breathe, Haru nodded with satisfaction.He discovered that when this woman stopped pursuing that perverted pleasure, the aura of a guardian she exuded was indeed more effective than any incentive.(This guy... when she gets serious, she's actually quite cool.)Haru thought silently in his heart, and the original assessment of her as a hopeless pervert quietly gained a touch of respect.
Chapter 87: The War BeginsThe three days of preparation time flew by amidst an unprecedented sense of urgency in Axel.The Adventurers, who once only knew how to drink and cause trouble, had miraculously constructed a decent-looking defensive fortification under the dual pressure of Succubus Vouchers and Darkness's awe-inspiring righteousness.At the end of the horizon, the originally calm wilderness began to tremble violently.What started as a slight vibration soon evolved into a thunderous rumble. A massive steel monster, like a moving mountain, was approaching Axel with an unstoppable momentum, shrouded in clouds of Dust."It's here! Everyone, get into battle positions!"Haru stood on the temporary command platform. The gale ruffled his hair, but his eyes were terrifyingly calm.Behind Haru, Aqua was nervously clutching her staff, her mouth constantly muttering about honor and fine wine; Megumin was already lying on a high slope with an excellent view, the pupil under her eyepatch flashing with a fanatical red light as she chanted a forbidden incantation powerful enough to distort the air."Haru, that... can we really win against that?" Kazuma hid behind a barricade. Although he was tightly clutching that black card, his legs were still shaking uncontrollably. "That's not a robot at all; that's a mobile natural disaster!"Haru didn't answer, only looking toward the frontmost line of defense.Darkness stood alone directly in front of the Destroyer's path.Her silver armor still shone brightly in the Dust, and her cape was blown straight by the gale brought by the giant beast.She didn't tremble, nor did she show that unsettling flush; she was simply pinned firmly to the ground like a nail, her broadsword pointing straight ahead."For Axel!" Darkness's roar pierced through the beast's rumble. "All defensive units, use this as the boundary—do not retreat a single step!!""Oooooh! For the Succubi... no, for justice!!" Dust led a group of Adventurers in a distorted roar. Although it still sounded quite improper, the "ready to die" aura was very real.The Destroyer's massive mechanical leg had already been raised high, and a shadow that blotted out the sun enveloped the entire defensive line."Aqua, now! Give that big tin can a top-tier purification! Forcefully tear open its defensive barrier for me!"Haru swung his arm down sharply, issuing the first command of the battle."Watch me! Let me show you the true divine power of the Goddess of Water! Sacred Highness Heal!! No, it's Sacred Break Spell!!"Aqua screamed as she waved her staff. A pillar of pure light, bright enough to blind everyone, shot into the sky and slammed directly into the Destroyer's invisible magical shield, producing a piercing grinding sound.The pillar of pure light released by Aqua was like a sword of judgment descending from the heavens, carrying a sacred and inviolable majesty as it slammed hard against the Destroyer's thick magical shield.In an instant, the air seemed to be sucked dry, and a piercing cracking sound echoed through the clouds.Under the full power of the Goddess's Purification Magic, the originally indestructible translucent barrier began to show spiderweb-like cracks, then shattered like tempered glass, turning into countless crystalline magic fragments that scattered everywhere."Ha! Did you see that? This is Lady Aqua's true strength! A mere big tin can dares to put on airs before a Goddess!" Although Aqua was sweating profusely and her staff was almost slipping from her hand, she didn't forget to put her hands on her hips and laugh toward the sky, even making a face at the gargantuan object.The Adventurers, who had been suffocated by the Destroyer's pressure, erupted into a cheer loud enough to shatter the clouds upon seeing this scene!"The barrier is broken! It's really broken! Long live Lady Aqua!!""Charge! For the Succubi... no, for Axel!!"Haru watched the disappearing barrier, a sharp glint flashing in his eyes as he pointed forward:"Now! It has no shield! Darkness, withstand its first wave of stomping! Megumin, vent all the resentment and magic you've accumulated over these three days!!"The Destroyer seemed to sense the threat as well. Its massive mechanical leg didn't stop because the barrier broke; instead, with the force of a thunderbolt, it stomped down hard toward the defensive line where Darkness was!"Come! Even if my body is crushed, I will never back down!!"Darkness let out a high-pitched cry. She held her broadsword across her chest, her battle qi burning to the limit at this moment.The massive shadow completely swallowed her petite figure, followed by a deafening sound of metal clashing!"Rumble—!!"The ground was cracking, and Dust filled the sky.But to everyone's shock, that massive steel foot was actually held up!Darkness was on her knees, her armor making a tooth-grinding friction sound, but she still held on stubbornly, even letting out a near-roaring gasp from extreme excitement.And on the high slope, Megumin had completed her grand and lengthy chant."Crimson eyes that pierce the abyss, the sound of explosion that heralds the end! Behold, this is the masterpiece of me... the Crimson Demon Clan's number one Archwizard!!"Megumin snapped her eyes open, red light almost overflowing from her sockets. Her staff pointed at the Destroyer's undefended core torso:"——Explosion!!!"That streak of crimson light, enough to swallow the daylight, exploded violently at the Destroyer's chest!The massive shockwave instantly vaporized the surrounding Dust and rubble. The Mobile Fortress's thick ancient alloy armor wailed under the ravaging of the Explosion Magic, as large sheets of armor plating were peeled off and melted like paper."Did... did it work?!" Kazuma shouted, squinting against the gale.However, as the Dust cleared, although half of the massive steel monster's body was charred black and its core power reactor was exposed, flickering with a dangerous red light, it still hadn't fallen.Its massive mechanical legs steadied themselves amidst the tremors. Large amounts of steam and sparks sprayed from its damaged joints, like an enraged ancient beast letting out a chilling electronic low growl."Tsk, as expected of the masterpiece of the ancient magical civilization. Even that level of power couldn't completely blow it to pieces?" Harusupported Megumin, who had collapsed limply due to magic depletion, and casually stuffed her into the arms of a bewildered Kazuma. "Watch her, Kazuma! The battle from here on is the real trouble!"Just as the Destroyer was about to raise its giant foot again to completely crush the exhausted Darkness, a cold wave of magic swept in from the flank."Cocytus!!"With a gentle yet majestic shout, countless massive ice crystals rose from the ground out of thin air, like solid chains, firmly freezing the Destroyer's joints.Wiz had stood at the edge of the battlefield at some point. Her eyes, usually timid, were now filled with the killing intent of a former Demon Kings Army General. Her hands were crossed as she continuously channeled a massive amount of mag
Chapter 88: Entering the Interior"Mr. Lin Jin! Now's our chance! Its movements have slowed down!!" Wiz shouted anxiously.It wasn't just Wiz; the Adventurers, who had been terrified out of their wits, finally felt the blood in their veins (along with their obsession with Succubus Shop coupons) boil over after seeing the Destroyer take damage and watching that usually gentle shopkeeper fighting for her life."Brothers! That big iron can is bleeding (leaking oil)! It's not invincible!!" Dust waved his longsword and led the charge toward the Destroyer's leg joints. "For the family bucket! For Axel! Tear it apart into scrap metal and sell it for cash!!""Ohhhhh! Tear it apart!!"In an instant, countless low-level spells and arrows rained down onto the Destroyer's wounds.Although the individual damage was negligible, the siege by hundreds of people threw the Destroyer's autonomous defense system into a brief state of chaos.Haru looked at the exposed, glowing red core, the self-destruct sequence Wiz had mentioned earlier flashing rapidly through his mind."It's not over yet... If we can't get inside and stop the power furnace, the whole town is done for once it overloads and self-destructs!!" Haru yanked the staff from his waist, his eyes locked on the breach Megumin had blasted open. "Darkness! Can you still move? Open a path for me! I'm going inside that thing!!""No problem, Haru! This level of weight... is exactly the glory of a knight!" Darkness let out a near-roar, her already cracked shield firmly bracing against the Destroyer's drooping defensive machine gun, forcing a gap just wide enough for someone to pass through amidst the violent barrage of fire.Haru glanced back at the few people still staring blankly, feeling a surge of irritation. "Kazuma! Stop playing the hero saving the damsel by holding Megumin and put her on your back! Aqua, stop casting Holy Water at thin air and hurry up! Wiz, we need your teleportation magic and magical sensing!""Eh eh eh?! I have to go in there too? Into that dark, greasy place?!" Aqua shrieked. Even though she complained bitterly, seeing the Destroyer's cannon about to spew fire, she scrambled and crawled to stand behind Haru.Kazuma, with a face full of grief and indignation, secured the exhausted Megumin to his back. "Damn it! I knew taking that black card meant nothing good! Are we going to our deaths? This is definitely going to our deaths!!""Please, everyone, grab my hand!" Wiz said with a grave expression, purple-black magical vortices surging around her.Haru leaped up abruptly, and with the help of Darkness's shield, was the first to charge toward the hideous breach torn open by Explosion Magic.Immediately after, Wiz activated short-range [Teleport]. Accompanied by a slight sense of spatial distortion, the five of them (plus the human pendant, Megumin) instantly vanished from the smoke-filled battlefield, diving headfirst into the intricate steel labyrinth inside the Destroyer.The interior space was unexpectedly vast, filled everywhere with conduits glowing with eerie red light and frantically spinning gears.The air was thick with the acrid smell of scorched metal and the buzzing sound of magical overload."Cough, cough! This place is practically a giant microwave!" Kazuma complained while coughing. "Haru, where do we go now? If we don't hurry, we're going to turn into fireworks over Axel along with this pile of scrap metal!!"Haru didn't bother wiping the oil stains off his face, a faint light illuminating the tip of his staff. "Wiz, sense the location of the power source! Aqua, be ready to purify those out-of-control magical conduits at any moment! Darkness, you're in charge of smashing through any automatic defense doors blocking our path!""Leave it to me! This feeling of being surrounded by steel... ugh, I mean, this sense of duty is just wonderful!" Darkness's eyes gleamed, and she charged toward the thick inner blast door ahead like an out-of-control rhinoceros."The power source is at the end of this corridor! But... the magical fluctuations there are extremely unstable!" Wiz shouted, pointing to the hatch in the depths that was emitting a blinding red light.The group sprinted through the violently shaking steel corridor while the Destroyer's defensive machine guns fired wildly overhead. Amidst the spraying sparks, this eccentric squad—composed of a good-for-nothing, a goddess, a pervert, a lich, and a sadistic bastard—was rushing toward the heart of this war machine at an unprecedented speed.A heavy ancient alloy hatch stood before them, densely etched with geometric patterns shimmering with red light, and in the very center was an input panel flashing and emitting urgent beeps.The heavy ancient alloy hatch remained unmoved before them, red alarm lights reflecting on everyone's tense (or broken) faces.The geometric patterns on the hatch became increasingly blinding as the self-destruct countdown approached, and the rapid beeping sounded like a death knell."Damn it! It's an encryption lock from an ancient magical civilization!" Kazuma hoisted Meguminhigher on his back and leaned in toward the panel. His nimble hands, usually used for stealing panties, were trembling slightly now. "The structure of this thing is a hundred times more complex than the guild's quest board! Haru, I need time, at least ten minutes!!""We don't even have ten seconds! Move aside, let a professional handle it!" Haru shoved Kazuma away and turned to look at Aqua, who was trying to curl up and hide behind him."Eh? Me? I can't! Something filled with the smell of machine oil and evil mechanical vibes—just getting close to it gives me goosebumps! Haru, you sadist, you must be trying to get me electrocuted, right?!" Aqua shook her head desperately, tears welling up in her eyes."Aqua, listen to me." Haru put on an extremely affectionate expression and pressed his hands on her shoulders. "Who are you? You are the revered, beautiful, and wise Goddess of Water, Lady Aqua! How could a mere toy of the ancients stump you? Just by moving your finger, this door will open for you as if it's seeing its first love!""Eh? Really? Am I really that amazing?" Aquastopped crying instantly, a look of easily deceived smugness appearing on her face. "Hmph, since you're begging me so much, I'll reluctantly show you a divine miracle! Watch closely! God Blow!!"Following Aqua's chaotic, holy heavy blow, the panel emitted a dull thud, sparks flew, and smoke rose."Oh no! She short-circuited the control system by smashing it!!" Kazuma complained in despair.However, just as the hatch began to shake violently and emit a harsh metallic grinding sound, dozens of mechanical tentacles crackling with electricity suddenly extended from the ceiling of the corridor, clearly having triggered the highest level of the defense system."Ahhh! It's here! It's that trap that ties people up and does this and that to them!" Darkness let out a high-pitched exclamation. Instead of dodging, she stepped to the very front, spread her arms, and a chilling flush appeared on her face. "Come on! All attacks, come at me! Whether it's electric shocks, Bind, or some kind of strange liquid... I, I can take it all!!""Hey! Can you act a little more serious at a time like this!" Haru couldn't help but kick the wall of the corridor. "Wiz, forget about those tentacles! Use your magic to forcibly interfere with the core! We're going in!!""Ye-yes! Mr. Lin Jin!" Wiz, resisting the interference of the tentacles, released a dense purple-black light from her hands and pressed them directly onto the cracked hatch. "Open... up!!!"Amidst a teeth-grinding sound of twisting metal, the alloy door, which was strong enough to withstand the aftermath of Explosion Magic, was forcibly torn open to reveal a large hole.The group tumbled into the core chamber like dumplings being dropped into a pot, and what appeared before them was a massive corona orecore in a red-hot state, spinning frantically and exuding a destructive aura.PS: I've been feeling mentally exhausted lately and deleted a lot of content, especially the part about Dust and the Succubus Shop, but it's good to return to the main plot for now. After finishing the Mobile Fortress Destroyer arc, things will return to the daily, chaotic, and perverted life for a while. I still want Haru and Kazuma to be the type of characters who are actually capable when it matters, but like to stir up trouble when things are quiet. So, when they're in real danger, they won't be messing around as much. Also, I really have zero drafts left. I'll update more once I'm done with these next two days. Everyone, please send some free support, don't force me to get down on my knees and beg you.
Chapter 89: A Bunch of Hopeless IdiotsThe red light inside the core room was already so thick it looked like congealed blood, and the teeth-achingly intense vibration made the steel floor beneath their feet nearly crumble.Haru sharp-eyed spotted the dusty but exceptionally conspicuous emergency cooling lever behind the core; however, countless blue-white high-voltage arcs were coiling around the lever like venomous snakes, emitting crackling popping sounds."Kazuma! Stop shivering over there and go pull that lever! Your Luck stat is EX-rank, right? Arcs of this magnitude will surely 'by some coincidence' completely avoid you! Go, you are our only hope!"Haru grabbed Kazuma by the collar and shouted, pointing at the spark-spewing death trap."Are you kidding me! Haru, you sadist! That's high-voltage electricity! Luck isn't an insulator; if I get shocked, I'll definitely turn into a charred corpse! Go yourself if you want to; whoever wants to be this kind of hero can be it, I haven't lived enough yet! I haven't even started my retirement life in Axel yet!!""Tsk, a useless piece of trash who's no good at critical moments."Haru released his grip in disgust and was just about to think of another way, when Aqua suddenly put her hands on her hips and let out an extremely arrogant laugh."Hehehe, as expected, it falls to me, the beautiful goddess, to save the day, right? You two lowly humans, actually cowering before mere electric sparks—it's such a disgrace to the Axis Order!" Aqua proudly lifted her chin, and the tip of her staff began to condense blinding blue water light. "It's just cooling down, right? Watch me extinguish this fireball directly with the purest Sacred Water! Sacred Create Water——!!!""Hey! Wait! Aqua, stop it now!!"Haru and Wiz let out desperate screams almost simultaneously.However, it was already too late.Following Aqua's confident strike, a massive amount of Sacred Water poured out like a waterfall, directly slamming into the corona ore core that was in a red-hot state and covered in high-voltage arcs.At this moment, the common sense of physics dealt a heavy blow to this group of otherworldly Adventurers."Sizzle——!!!"First came the ear-piercing sound of electrolysis, and immediately after, the extremely high-temperature core made contact with the cold water, instantly triggering a violent vaporization explosion.A massive cloud of white water vapor expanded wildly within the narrow core room, and accompanied by the violent electric currents conducted everywhere by the water, the entire room instantly turned into a living hell."Ahhhhh! So hot, so hot, so hot! And electricity! I'm numb, I'm numb, I'm numb!!"Kazuma let out a pitch-shifted scream, and he was knocked to the ground by the water vapor, twitching wildly like a salted fish being electrocuted."Uwoooooh! This feeling of being pierced by scorching heat and electric current at the same time... Could this be the baptism of an ancient civilization?! It's, it's amazing... No, it's too serious!!"Although Darkness was smoking all over from being electrocuted, her face wore a somewhat extremely dangerous, dazed expression, and she even actively leaned toward the area where the electric arcs were densest."Eh? Eh eh eh?! Why did it explode! I was clearly helping to cool it down! Haru, help! My clothes are going to be scorched!!"Looking at the steam rushing toward her, Aqua was so scared she threw her staff away and jumped directly onto Haru's back, wrapping both hands tightly around his neck.Haru's eyes rolled back from being choked, yet he still had to endure the high heat and the numbness of the electric current to observe the status of the core.Although it triggered a small explosion and chaos, the crazy red light of the corona ore had actually dimmed slightly due to this "violent cooling," but the ancient defense system around the core had completely entered rage mode due to the short circuit."Mr. Lin Jin! Although it's chaotic, the core's pressure has dropped!" Wiz shouted loudly while holding up a magic shield. "Take this chance! Before it overheats again, we must manually pull that lever!!"The steam in the core room was so thick it felt like it was going to boil people alive, and accompanied by the "crackle-pop" of blue electric arcs, the entire space had basically turned into a large-scale execution scene.Haru was almost choked to death by Aqua, his ears filled with the meaningless screams of this stupid goddess, while at his feet was Kazuma doing a breakdance."Cough cough! Let go! Aqua, you idiot, if you keep choking me, I'll have to go report to eris first!"Haru violently broke free from Aqua's restraint, wiped the water vapor off his face, and his gaze gradually became sadistic.Haru looked at the lever surrounded by high-voltage arcs, and then looked at Darkness, who was standing to the side with a dazed expression, her armor smoking from being electrocuted.A battle plan that perfectly fit the style of Axelformed in Haru's mind."Darkness! Listen well, the survival of Axel now depends entirely on you!" Haru held Darkness's hand with a righteous expression, even though the gauntlet was shockingly hot. "See that lever? That's not just a switch; that is the final trial leading to ultimate suffering! The voltage there is enough to make even the toughest warrior lose consciousness instantly; that pain of being pierced by electric current throughout your whole body, unable to live and unable to die... only you can withstand it!""Eh?! You mean... ultimate... suffering?" Darkness's previously unfocused pupils instantly focused, and she even erupted with a heart-palpitating red light. "Being hit head-on by... energy capable of destroying a town... even getting scorched black all over from the electricity... Ugh... Haru, you, you really are a genius! This kind of thing... this kind of thing, please, by all means, leave it to me!!""Hey!! Haru, you guy are definitely a devil! She's your companion! How can you push her into the fire pit without even changing your expression?!"Kazuma finally caught his breath and pointed at Haru, cursing loudly, but his body was very honest as he shrank back, terrified that Haru might push him over there too."Stop spouting nonsense! Kazuma, get ready to Steal; if Darkness can't pull it, you Steal that lever for me!" Haru commanded loudly, while simultaneously pushing away Wiz, who was preparing to dissuade him. "Go, Darkness! For your... cough, for our justice!!""Ooooooh!!!"Darkness let out a high-pitched cry, her heavy footsteps landing on the water-covered floor, splashing up large amounts of electrified water.Enduring the high-voltage arcs that could instantly carbonize an ordinary person, she moved step by step toward the lever."Zzzzt——!!!"Thick arcs of electricity slammed fiercely against her silver armor. Darkness let out a scream that was extremely miserable yet tinged with a certain eerie pleasure. Her hands, covered in heavy gauntlets, gripped the red emergency cooling lever tightly amidst a swarm of countless sparks!"Go... down!!!"Following Darkness's pull with all her might, the lever emitted a heavy mechanical clicking sound."Click!"The originally violent core instantly went still for a second, and immediately after, a lazy and decadent middle-aged male voice came through the core room's broadcast:[Ah, so someone finally pulled this useless lever? You've really worked hard. However, unfortunately, to prevent enemies from invading, this lever is actually a self-destruct acceleration switch. By the way, for lunch today, I want to eat pork cutlet rice bowl...]The entire scene fell into deathly silence."...Huh?" Kazuma opened his mouth wide."Um, Mr. Lin Jin... the core's energy reading... seems to be skyrocketing at ten times the speed..." Wizsaid, cold sweat streaming down."Uwaaaaaah! Haru, you big liar! You've killed us! I want to go back to the Heavenly Realm! I want to go back to the Heavenly Realm right now!!" Aquastarted crying hysterically again, shaking Haru's shoulders for dear life.Looking at the core, which had already started emitting blinding white light and was about to turn into a nuclear bomb, Haru's mouth twitched: "As expected, the ancient civilization of this world... is just a bunch of hopeless idiots!"PS: An extra chapter today, there's one more coming later!I'm burned out. This book finally got a rating, why is it so low!Did you guys secretly give me a low rating!!!!!!!If there's a problem, tell me, and I'll fix it immediately!!I want five-star reviews!!!!!
Chapter 90: Out of the Frying Pan, Into the FireThe air inside the Core Room was heavy and suffocating. Aside from the deafening hum of the core, only Aqua's intermittent sobbing remained.Haru and Kazuma stared at each other amidst the flying electrical sparks and steam. Both their gazes were exceptionally complex—a deep mix of "it's better you die than me," "whoever speaks first takes the blame," and "how did I end up knowing a piece of trash like you?""Hey, Haru, what's with that look?" Kazuma was the first to break the silence. Wiping the soot from his face, he wore an expression of extreme disgust. "You're the leader, right? At a time like this, shouldn't you beat your chest and say, 'Leave it to me, you guys go,' and then stay behind to die a hero's death? I'll burn the latest succubus photo books for you every Tomb Sweeping Day, I swear.""Stop talking out of your ass, Kazuma." Harusneered, his gaze even colder than the white light emitting from the core. "You're the man with EX-rank Luck. According to the script, as long as you lean against that core or casually name some coordinates, Wiz's Random Teleportation will definitely dump it precisely into some uninhabited canyon. So, this blame... I mean, this responsibility of saving the world, belongs to no one but you.""Um... gentlemen, please stop fighting!" Wiz looked like she was about to cry, her naturally gentle eyes now filled with deep self-reproach and fear. "My Random Teleportation is really unstable! If... if it teleports to the Royal Capital, or into some innocent civilian's home, an explosion of that magnitude... I-I could never pay off that debt in my entire life!!""Huh?! Debt?!" Aqua, who had been slumped on the floor, jumped up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. "No way! Absolutely not! If it's to pay off a debt, what about my wine money? What about my high-grade offerings? Wiz, you useless Lich, think of a place that's absolutely safe!!""I-I can't do it, Lady Aqua!!" Wiz crouched down, clutching her head.Haru looked at the countdown ticking on the core. The white light was already so bright he couldn't open his eyes, and he could feel his hair standing on end from the terrifying fluctuations of magical power.Haru looked back at Kazuma and found that the guy was also staring intently at him. In that instant, the two reached a silent understanding that only fellow "scumbags" could share."In that case..."Haru and Kazuma spoke in unison."Wiz! Forget about whether it's random or not! Just teleport it!!" Haru roared. "If it blows up here, Axel is completely finished! We'll also be turned into atoms and go see eris! It doesn't matter where it goes, as long as it's not here! Even if it's sent to the house of that nasty lord who only knows how to collect taxes all day, it doesn't matter!!""That's right! As long as it's not us! Hurry up, Wiz, it's gonna blow, it's gonna blow!!"Kazuma also started waving his hands frantically."Waaaah... I understand! I'll do my best!!" Wiz gritted her teeth and thrust her hands forward. A purple-black teleportation circle instantly covered the entire core. "Teleportation Magic—!!!"A flash of intense light flared, and the deafening hum came to an abrupt halt.The massive corona ore core that had occupied half the room vanished instantly, leaving behind only debris and Wiz, who had collapsed onto the floor from over-releasing her magical power.A deathly silence fell over the Core Room."Whew... whew..." Kazuma sat on his butt, panting heavily. "Te-Teleported away? We survived?""Probably." Haru wiped away sweat and turned to Wiz. "Hey, Wiz, where... where exactly did you teleport it just now?"Wiz looked up, her face deathly pale and her voice trembling violently. "I-I don't know... I was just desperately thinking in my heart, 'Go to a rich person's house, that way they can afford the damages after the explosion'... and then... then it disappeared..."Haru and Kazuma exchanged another look, and a strong sense of foreboding instantly enveloped them both."Huh?! Are you trying to pin the blame on me?!" Kazuma jumped up like a cat with its tail stepped on, pointing at Haru's nose and shouting, "Haru, you were the one who told Wiz to 'teleport it to a rich person's house' with your own mouth! I heard it loud and clear! If the Lord's castle gets blown up in the end, I'll say you, the sadistic leader, ordered an innocent shopkeeper to do it for your own selfish desires!""Shut up, Kazuma! It was your idea, and you brought Wiz here. I was just exercising my reasonable authority as the leader!" Haru retorted without backing down, his eyes showing a resolve that said 'if I go down, we all go down.' "Besides, Aquanodded just now too, right, Aqua?""Eh? I-I just wanted to drink red wine, I don't know anything! I'm a pure goddess, how could I possibly be involved in such a conspiracy..."Aqua shifted her gaze guiltily, her fingers twisting her raiment.Just as the three of them were blaming each other and shifting responsibility in the ruins—even starting to brainstorm how to commit perjury in court—the entire Core Room suddenly shook violently."Thump—!!!"A dull metallic impact sound echoed from deep beneath their feet, and immediately after, all the conduits that had been extinguished flickered back to life with a faint green light."Wait, wait! Wasn't the core already teleported away?!" Wiz stood up, leaning against the wall in terror. "Why has the magic signature reappeared? It's faint, but... the Destroyer is moving again!!"As if in response to Wiz's words, that same lazy middle-aged male voice from before rang out from the damaged speakers again, this time with a hint of a successful prank in its tone:[Yo, you little thieves still loitering in the Core Room. I forgot to tell you, as a perfect mobile fortress, how could I not have something like a "backup battery"? Although the corona ore is gone, the remaining magic power is enough for me to execute the final program.]Haru and Kazuma froze simultaneously. A premonition even worse than the core's self-destruction welled up within them.[Program Start: [The Final Stroll]. Target: The nearest human town directly ahead. Before its energy is exhausted, the Destroyer will use its final strength to launch a suicide charge toward Axel. Ah, by the way, to prevent the pilots from escaping, all exits have been locked. Have a pleasant journey, and please bring me a Pork Cutlet Bowl while you're at it...]Click!All the gates instantly locked tight. The entire Destroyer, like a waking metallic giant, let out a tooth-grinding roar as its massive frame began to take heavy steps forward once more."Aaaaaah! It's going to crash into the city! It's going to take us with it and crash into the city!!" Aqua let out a sky-piercing scream, death-gripping your staff. "Haru! Do something! I haven't lived long enough yet, and I haven't seen the look on eris's face when she's crying!!""Dammit! Just how much did that ancient researcher want to eat a Pork Cutlet Bowl!!" Kazumacomplained desperately, kicking the locked alloy door like a madman.Haru looked at the slightly tilting floor, feeling the unstoppable momentum, his brain working at high speed.Now the core was gone, Wiz was out of magic, Darkness was still drooling while enjoying the vibrations, and Megumin was still on Kazuma's back, drooling away.This is what they call... out of the tiger's den, and into the fire pit?
Chapter 91: Power BankJust as everyone was terrified out of their wits by that "Final Stroll" order, and Aqua had already begun carving her last will and testament on the wall, Darkness, who had been in a strange, flushed state, suddenly stood up, swaying.Her originally magnificent silver armor was now covered in scorch marks from electric shocks and twisted cracks, but her eyes were frighteningly bright—a fanaticism that transcended life and death, reaching the peak of perversion."Haru... the researcher said earlier... all the exits are locked, right?" Darkness's voice trembled with irrepressible excitement. "That means if we want to get out, we have to use our bodies... to ram into that heavy armor capable of withstanding a battering ram... Ugh... this kind of scenario, being rejected by steel, surrounded by despair, and ultimately having to carve a path with one's own body... it's simply, simply a stage prepared just for me!!""Hey! Darkness! What are you doing?! Calm down, that armor is made of ancient alloy..."Kazuma's attempt to dissuade her hadn't even finished before it turned into a terrified scream.Only a deafening roar from Darkness was heard, and she launched herself like a golden meteor (or perhaps a runaway solid iron block), slamming violently into the locked side wall of the core chamber."Boom!!!"A teeth-gritting sound of metal tearing rang out, and under the stunned gaze of everyone, the alloy wall, capable of withstanding mid-tier magic, was actually dented by Darkness's shoulder. Immediately after, the entire armor plate, as if unable to bear such heavy love, let out a wail and completely flew off!A gust of wind instantly rushed into the core chamber; outside was the rapidly receding wilderness, and the familiar walls of Axel were already close at hand."We, we're out? You rammed your way out?!" Kazuma's mouth hung open, his jaw nearly hitting the floor. "Is this girl's head made of corona ore, or has her defense reached a point where even the laws of physics are afraid of her?!""Ugh... it hurts... it feels like half the bones in my body are shattered... this feeling... is the best..."Darkness collapsed at the edge of the hole, and although she looked like her soul was leaving her body, an extremely satisfied smile hung on her face.Haru couldn't spare the time to complain about this masochistic knight's monstrous strength. He pulled up the still-dazed Aqua and the mana-depleted Wiz, helped Kazuma steady Megumin on his back, and the group scrambled and crawled, jumping out of the speeding Destroyer through the hole.Everyone rolled several times on the grass in a sorry state before finally stopping.Haru looked up and saw that the Destroyer, having lost its core and relying only on backup power, was slightly slower, but its massive body still carried unstoppable momentum. Like a moving iron mountain, it was heading straight for the west gate of Axel."Mr. Lin Jin! It's not over yet!" Wiz, not bothering to wipe the dirt from her face, pointed anxiously at the rear of the Destroyer. "Although the core is gone, its backup power source is triggering a chain reaction. If we let it hit the city wall like this, the residual mana will still cause a massive explosion that will affect the entire town! We must... we must destroy its structural fulcrum with another powerful Explosion Magic before it touches the wall!""Then what are we waiting for! Megumin! Wake up! It's time for your performance!" Kazuma frantically shook the Crimson Demon Clan girl on his back.Megumin opened her eyes groggily, a glistening thread hanging from the corner of her mouth: "—Ugh... Explosion... I've already used it... today's quota... has already been completely shot out... now I am just a... cute decoration...""I... I have no mana left either..." Wiz collapsed weakly on the ground, her face deathly pale. "Just now, in order to suppress the core and initiate the teleportation, my mana pool was completely drained... I can't even cast a single low-level Fireball."The air instantly turned deathly silent, with only the heavy footsteps of the Destroyer in the distance drawing closer."It's over, Axel is doomed." Kazuma stared at the distant city wall with a blank expression. "Haru, let's run while we still can; maybe we can get out of the blast radius before it explodes. Although we'll have to live with the title of wanted criminals who destroyed the town, it's better than being turned into ash, right?""What kind of defeatist talk is that! I am a goddess! If the town is gone, all my followers will die!" Aquajumped up and down in anxiety, but suddenly, as if remembering something, she looked sharply at Haru. "Hey! Haru! Although those two have no mana left, we still have a power bank!"Haru looked at Aqua's large eyes, which were flashing with ill intent, and his heart skipped a beat. "A power bank? You don't mean...""That's right! That's exactly it! Although the process is a bit like draining life energy, we can't worry about that now!"Aqua pointed at Kazuma and shouted.Kazuma wiped away a nosebleed and revealed an extremely sinister and perverted smile. His hand, glowing with a faint purple light, slowly reached toward Aqua. "Hehehe, Aqua, weren't you being very arrogant when you called me a good-for-nothing earlier? As a useless goddess, your bottomless mana pool is finally useful now. Come on, for the sake of Axel, become my human battery! Drain Touch!!""Kyaaaaaah! Kazuma, what is that expression! So disgusting! Don't touch me! I don't want to give my holy mana to a scumbag like you, aaaaaah!!"Aqua let out a pig-like shriek, but in the face of Kazuma's "God's Hand," her weak resistance was completely meaningless.As Kazuma's hand pressed onto Aqua's shoulder, a dazzling stream of blue light began to flow continuously from Aqua's body to Kazuma, and then from Kazuma to Megumin, who was lying on the ground with eyes glowing."Oh... oh oh oh... mana... it's overflowing... is this... is this what it feels like to be filled up..." Megumin's petite body trembled slightly, her pale complexion quickly becoming rosy, and even her ahoge stood up due to the overcharging. "Haru, Kazuma, look! My Explosion soul is burning fiercely!!"However, Haru frowned as he looked at the "iron mountain" still steadily advancing in the distance.One shot of Explosion Magic might not be enough; after all, it was the masterpiece of an ancient civilization. Even with only backup power, its armor thickness was enough to drive an ordinary Archwizard to despair.Haru turned to look at Wiz beside him. This gentle shopkeeper was twisting her fingers, her eyes darting away, muttering: "Um... although I really want to help, if I use that kind of magic here, my identity will definitely be... and, my mana right now is really...""Wiz!" Haru grabbed Wiz by the shoulders, interrupting her muttering with a grave expression. "Now is not the time to worry about your identity! If Axel is gone, your mountains of unsold magical items will really only be fit to feed to Slimes! Besides, you don't want to see those Adventurers who come to your shop to slack off every day turn into ashes, do you?""Ugh... Mr. Lin Jin, but I...""There's no time to explain! Drain me!" Haru struck a pose of heroic sacrifice, even tugging at his collar, revealing a perverted expression that said "do whatever you want." "That good-for-nothing Kazuma is draining a goddess, so I'll let you, a former Demon Kings Army General, drain me to your heart's content! Come on, take all of my mana and energy, and then deliver the final blow to that hunk of iron!!""Eh eh eh?! Drain, drain Mr. Lin Jin? In front of everyone like this..." Wiz's face turned red to the tips of her ears instantly, but looking at Haru's firm (and somewhat perverted) gaze, she finally gritted her teeth, as if having made a decision. "I, I understand! Excuse me, Mr. Lin Jin! I will... I will be gentle!"Wiz's cold, jade-like hand tightly grasped Haru's.Instantly, Haru felt a powerful suction coming from his palm. It wasn't just an ordinary loss of mana, but a shivering sensation as if his very soul were being extracted.Wiz's essence as a Lich was revealed in this moment, and a faint, eerie purple light flashed in her originally gentle brown eyes."Ugh... ugh oh oh oh..." Haru couldn't help but let out a strange groan, his body involuntarily going limp. This feeling of being forcibly drained of mana by a beautiful girl (a Lich)... was it actually, damn it... kind of pleasant?"Haru! What is that expression! Too despicable! I want to be drained by Wiz-san too!"Kazuma, who was being frantically scratched by Aqua, saw this scene and let out a roar of jealousy."Shut up! Focus on your charging!" Haru scolded through gritted teeth.At this moment, the Destroyer was less than two hundred meters away from the city wall.The massive shadow had already blocked out the sunlight, and the guards on the city wall had already begun to let out desperate cries."Mana... charging complete!" Megumin had already stood up unsteadily, holding her staff high, the Destroyer's huge figure reflected in her red pupils."I am ready too, Mr. Lin Jin!" Wiz released Haru's hand. A suffocating, terrifying magical pressure radiated from her—the aura of a top-tier magic user capable of rivaling dragons.Haru collapsed weakly on the grass, watching the backs of the two women standing at the very front, and revealed a gratified smile. "Go... send off that bastard who wanted to eat pork cutlet rice bowl... use two shots of Explosion Magic, and end this once and for all!!"