"Haste makes waste."
I've heard that expression more than once. But I didn't think it would reflect on me in such a way.
Winter, black ice... It probably wouldn't have been so insulting if I'd slipped and gotten hit by a car. But the fact that I managed to throw my car into a skid on an empty road... And on summer tires, no less.
Yeah, it doesn't do me any honors. I could probably try to justify myself by saying I was hurrying for a good reason. Though who cares now? It certainly won't help either Marina or me...
Nor those blurry figures on the roadside hurrying toward me through half-meter snowdrifts. Cold... So cold.
Is it because I'm dying, or because the tree pierced the windshield? Anyway, what difference does it make now, right?
My chest hurt, and I coughed. It hurt even more. And not from the blood-red stains I was coughing up onto the light plastic of the mangled dashboard. But from the huge chunk of tree that had pierced my chest on the right.
"Hang in there, kid!" one of the blurry shadows shouted at me in the voice of an elderly man. "What were you thinking... Where were you rushing to, you young idiots?"
I really wanted to tell him exactly where I was rushing to.
And tell him about Marina, and about everything, everything... I wanted to get it off my chest at the end, it seems, right?
It's getting dark. How long have I been lying here? When I went off the road, it was barely the beginning of ten o'clock... Oh, looks like I'm dying.
What a pity. Pointlessly, ingloriously... Fine, I need to conserve strength; the guy said to hang on. I need to believe him—I was the one who went off the road, not him. I need to trust experienced people...
Somehow it got a little warmer. And brighter. And the pain went somewhere. The darkened world filled with colors. Mostly blue and red. Flashing now and then right under me.
Wait a minute, those are flashing beacons! And here are the angels in blue clothes with red crosses. And the "DPS" guys in vests scurrying around the car. Oh, even rescuers! What's that thing in their hands? Oh, that's hydraulic shears! I've only seen those on TV news.
Hey-hey-hey, guys! I'm here, I'm right nearby... Literally, ten meters above you.
What?!
***
"Seen enough?"
That's how the Voice addressed me the first time.
To be honest, I was even bored from hopelessness, watching as my bleeding body was extracted from what half a year ago had been the latest European sedan. Yeah, vaunted quality, damn it. The steering rack jammed only on the way. And the wheels locked... Looks like I did something wrong during my race with fate.
Anyway, not important anymore. Doesn't matter now: I see the ambulance doctor shaking his head. Shaking it negatively.
"Uh-huh," I waved my hand at the Voice without looking, as if to say, come closer, don't be shy. It'll be more fun with two ghosts. "Come on over, be my guest."
The Voice looked like a clump of light, white mist. Such... warming, warm mist... I don't know how to describe it.
"I am indeed just a guest," the Voice admitted. "But as you see, there's no place for you here anymore."
"I see," I replied. "Pity..."
"Pitying yourself for dying?" the Voice clarified.
"Pitying that I hurried," I admitted. "Right now I would surely be with Marina."
"You know you couldn't have helped her," the knowledgeable Voice said. "That's not within human power. Not within your power. Medicines are only a small part of success. The operation..."
"But I would have been there. And the operation would have gone successfully, for sure. But without the medicines... There are none in the hospital. I let down both her and myself... Screw myself. It's Marina I pity. I couldn't..."
"Caring for those close to you is commendable," the Voice agreed. "For those who are younger. Weaker..."
"She's my first love," I admitted. "Count it as ten years together... 'Like behind a stone wall,' uh-huh..."
The Voice was silent. For some reason, the usually curious me now couldn't care less about what was happening. I promised Marina I'd make it. And I couldn't.
"Flight delay, long security check, snow with rain outside, sudden cold snap," the Voice listed everything I'd been cursing since dawn. "Sure it's all your fault?"
"It's always only your own fault," I said. "At least in this case. If there was a second chance..."
"And what would you do?" the Voice became interested. It seemed to me, or was he speaking somehow very... quickly. In a hurry somewhere?
"I would do everything right. If I'd known everything I know now. I wouldn't have come home from work and gone to bed a month ago, because of which I couldn't order the medicines on time, but would have sat down at that damn computer and done everything!" I got angry. "If only I'd known..."
"What if I said what happened could be fixed?" the Voice asked unexpectedly.
"Come on, divine bitch," I laughed in helplessness. "Put it all back in reverse. Where do I sign in blood to go back a month?"
"Here... I can't help anymore," the Voice said. "But something is within my power."
"Really?" I was surprised.
Blinking, I realized everything around me had vanished. The snow, the car, the people... Even the flashing beacon lights.
Only me, the white clump like cotton wool soaked in water, and the darkness around us.
"I can save her," the Voice said. And where's his mouth anyway? What kind of unknown...
"Save Marina?" I tensed.
"Exactly so," the Voice assured. "You—help me, I help you. Mutually beneficial deal."
"And how will you help me if you won't bring me back to life?" seems I wasn't the only one who hit my head hard.
"Your body died," the Voice said. "I personally can't help you in this world anymore. But while there's still time, I can heal your beloved. Not only from the disease killing her. But I'll make it so she can become a mother. I'll fulfill her most cherished dream..."
"Our dream," I corrected automatically.
"Yours," the Voice agreed. "But in return, you go where you need to save someone... something... complicated language, why did you make it like this?
"Get to the point, cotton wool," I wanted to grab him by the lapels, but... it's a cloud. Grab the fluffy part, and he might like it? "I'll die, but she'll live and be happy, right? My Marina?"
"Yes. In return, you'll go... to a familiar place. Where difficulties and a mission await you."
"I don't care, do it."
"You'll have enemies..."
"I don't care, do it already."
"Possibly—friends."
"Where's the ear to yell into?!"
"You'll never come back here," the Voice warned.
"But she'll be happy?" I clarified.
"Yes," the Voice said somewhat distractedly. "You're... agreeing awfully quickly. The others... they didn't care, they wanted something else... And here. Had to sacrifice yourself often?"
"Not your business, cotton wool," I don't need philosophizing psychologists in the gloom here. "Come on, do your dirty work, Bus-sama. Let's go. Where's the dragon to save and the princess..."
Then darkness came. Complete, hopeless. Without flights through glowing tunnels and phantasmagoric visions.
The Voice just disappeared.
And I...